


The Wolf and the Demon

by ZarakisWolf



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alcohol, Blood and Gore, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 45
Words: 175,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24295189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZarakisWolf/pseuds/ZarakisWolf
Summary: This is a story that is really hard to write and keep in character, so reader bear with me.  I welcome reviews. *I took the original down to revamp it because after reading it over and over, it became obvious that Zaraki was way out of character and Harmona would never have attracted him as cowardly as she acted. So....plan B.A woman with a dark past masquerading as a wolf. A Soul Reaper captain with no love for anything but fighting. When the two meet, blood flies. Can he save her from the madness that threatens to take over? Can she learn to trust him enough to let him know the truth? (Story includes violence, graphic sex and alcohol. Reader beware)(Tite Kubo owns all original Bleach characters. Much love to him. Harmona and any OC's mentioned  belong to me.)
Relationships: Zaraki Kenpachi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

I sit alone in a cave, gnawing on a bone from my last meal. I'm getting hungry again, so I'll have to either hunt or steal something from the village nearby. It's been two days since I've eaten. I suppose the best idea would be for me to go terrorize the village again. It's been a few months since I've done that and the villagers are getting too bold, drawing ever closer to my lair with their traps and hunting parties. Little do they know I am not your average wolf. Not by a long shot. I hear twigs snapping outside and instantly I'm on alert.

Hearing nothing further, I make my way to the entrance of the cave and take a sniff. I only smell animals. Perhaps it was a curious critter looking to hunker down for the night and, smelling me, decided to leave. Smart move. I decide, since I'm already up and it's nearly dusk, to make my way into the village and find a new meal. I'm going to scare the shit outta the entire village. Might even kill a few of the braver ones to prove a point.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Kenpachi...find Blue. Give her the love I was never allowed to." Retsu says with her last breath, the light fading from her eyes.

"Wait! Don't die!" I yell at the woman in my arms. I shake her violently but she's gone, for good this time.

A knock on my door startles me awake. I sit up, rubbin' the sweat from my face. "The hell is it?"

"Captain, you've been summoned to the head captain's office for a special mission, sir." Ikkaku says, crackin' the door open.

I glance out of my window. "This better be fuckin' important. Sun ain't even up yet."

"There were no details other than Head Captain Kyouraku believes you're the best one for the job."

"I'll leave in a few minutes. Gotta get dressed first."

"Alright. I'll send a reply."

I hear my lieutenant retreat, closin' the front door of my house on his way out. I let out an irritated sigh. That goddamn dream again. The hell did she mean? It's been eleven years since my fight with Retsu. She's long dead and buried. "Stop hauntin' my dreams, you fuckin' hussie. You didn't tell me who Blue is and I ain't gunna go look for some other hussie that's gunna bother the shit outta me like you do." I grumble into the empty air. I swear, I can almost hear Retsu's laugh.

****Zaraki District - Wolf POV****

I dodge another crudely made spear, laughing inside my head. It's been about three hours from the start of my attack on this village. I've killed three men so far. The children around here have a little hope in their eyes for once, as I've been able to steal some food and water canteens for them. I always do this...I wish someone had offered the same compassion to me back when I was little like them. A sudden spike in reiatsu behind me makes me dodge down an alley and hide in a bush. That is no weakling soul reaper like the one I killed yesterday.

"So, rumor was true. Zaraki district does have a giant pest problem." a voice similar to a tiger's growl sounds from where the reiatsu has spiked.

"Captain Zaraki....it's been such a long time since you came." a weak female voice says.

"Yeah, don't give a shit. What the hell happened?"

"This wolf has been terrorizing our village-"

"The wolf of Zaraki has surfaced again, huh? Tch. Here I thought I'd get a good fight."

"Kenpachi, you old dog. We don't need you around here either." a brave, albeit stupid, man yells.

"Wanna fight about it?"

I decide now is the perfect time to slink out of my hiding spot. I'm no coward by any means but this village is too cramped to fight very well with a captain class soul reaper.

***Kenpachi POV***

"Zaraki, I need you to go to your old stomping grounds."

"The hell for?" I grouch, ignorin' Shunsui's sly smile.

"There's been an attack on the village there and, from what the sensors are picking up, it's still going on. And the thing killed a squad seven member who was visiting relatives yesterday."

"What am I up against? An espada?"

His chuckle lets me know it's nothin' of the sort. "No. Something big, blue and furry, that's all I can tell you. It won't stay still long enough to give us a good look."

"Blue? The hell kinda sake you been drinkin'?"

"None. Nanao has hidden my stash."

I laugh. "Beat by a nerd again. When're you gunna learn?"

"Go on. You might get a good fight. The report says whatever this thing is is about six foot tall on all fours."

"Tch. People blowin' up shit. It's probably a goose chase."

"They say it howls."

I come back to the present moment. "So where is this magic monster, huh? I don't see shit other than the blood over there."

Some kids dart out of a house. "It's real, sir...it gave us food and water but attacked the adults who tried to take it back. I even got to pet it." the boy in front says, smilin' a little.

I crouch down to get eye level with him. "Describe it to me."

"Oh, it's big. Probably it's nose would be equal with your chest when you're standing, sir. It has beautiful blue fur, like a sapphire. And eyes like pools of blood. "

"What is it?"

"A big wolf, I think. I've never seen one so big though."

"Where'd it go?"

The boy points to an alley, so I stand and brush by him, drawin' my sword. I pop around the corner but it's empty...except for a paw print the size of a fuckin' dinner plate. I narrow my eye.

"Captain, do you plan to track it?" Ikkaku asks behind me.

"Don't got a choice, do I?"

"Well, you do, but I don't think you wanna piss off the clowns in the high places."

"Probably not. Damn bastards will take me off the active roster for fightin'."

I walk away from him, knowin' he'll follow. Sure enough, he's at my side in seconds. "What're you gunna do when you find it? Doesn't sound like a normal wolf."

"I'll fight it and see. If it's as good as the rumors say, chances are we'll need a cage from squad two before the day's over."

"You mean to tame it?"

"Tch. Maybe a little but I want a challenge. And if it ain't a wolf, then I gotta bring it in anyway so might as well bring it back to the barracks."

"Sir?"

"I'm bored, alright? Lay off."

He snickers. "Alright, let's hunt this bastard down."

****Wolf POV****

I can hear the ones following me, though they're a long way off. If not for the children in that village, I'd stop right where I am but it's too close. I don't give a shit about the adults but I won't harm the children if I can help it. I'm not a complete monster. I travel about half a mile further into a clearing before turning. I let loose a defiant howl before sitting and waiting. They'll come.

"Well I'll be damned. I heard stories growin' up out here of a damn wolf but never believed em." the growly voice from before says. I sniff...and sniff again before my hackles raise. He's going to be trouble. As the owner of the voice steps into the clearing, I get in a defensive position, baring my teeth and lowering my head. The man stands around 6'7" tall and looks to be a muscular two hundred pounds. A long scar mars his face on one side, running from his jaw to almost his hairline on the left side of his face. His ebony hair is long, almost down to the middle of his back and really messy, though not unkempt. Whoever gave him that scar must've been aiming to take his eye out. They seem to have succeeded with his other eye, as he wears a patch over it. Cocky bastard turns to his subordinate and I snarl louder. Squad eleven. Fucking great. The one fucking squad I want nothing to do with.

"Sir, that's definitely not a wolf." the bald one says.

"Really? I thought maybe it was a poodle." the captain snaps back sarcastically.

"Should I go ahead and call for a cage?"

Cage? Oh hell no! I use shunpo and manage to tackle the bald bastard to the ground, snapping my teeth inches from his face. He blocks me with his arm, which is shielded by some sort of armor. My teeth cut through it, but not quite enough to get to his flesh. We roll a little ways down the hill before he hits a tree. I jump back, landing on my paws a few feet from him. I dart back toward him and he catches my mouth, using his hands to clamp it nearly shut. I bring a paw up and tear my claws down his chest, his blood spurting all over my face. His grip loosens just enough for me to get my teeth sunk into his arm and jerk him around to the side, slamming him into the tree again. He lets out a groan before dropping to the ground, blood pouring from his forehead.

"Tch. Fuckin' idiot." the captain says, having not moved from his spot other than to cross his arms over his chest.

I turn a heated glare on him. He reminds me of the past. I fucking hate him already. I lick the blood from my mouth and stalk back toward him. He simply draws his sword. I tilt my head. The damned blade is chipped and jagged, obviously he doesn't take care of it. I feel sorry for the damned thing. I sniff again. His scent reminds me of someone from my past. But he's not her. Not even a relation. I stalk to his right, keeping my eyes on him as I plan my attack.

"Well, I can tell you got a thing for fightin'. Those eyes may be full of hate but I see joy in em too. I think you're hidin' yourself in that form like a coward. Why not show me who you really are?" he says, not bothering to look at me directly.

I growl. A coward? Me? No, I just enjoy the freedom of this form. No paperwork, no rules to follow, no people to bother me...usually. However, I circle back in front of him, facing him down.

"Oh, you seem to understand me, huh? Either you're someone on the run or you're feral. Which is it?" I snarl and charge at him, landing on his chest before he rolls us so he's on top of me. His blade drops into my shoulder as my head darts up, grabbing his wrist and crunching down until I hear the bones break. He curses and removes the sword, bringing it back almost immediately but I roll us again, my teeth tearing into his chest before me knocks me flying with a haymaker. I manage to land on my feet, though my ears are ringing from the blow to the side of my head. My belly chooses this moment to give a loud rumble, reminding me I need to finish this quickly. Two days with no food plus the excursion earlier has worn my reiatsu down to dangerous levels. I charge at him again, managing to catch his thigh with my claws but I'm not paying attention like I should. His sword pierces my gut, exiting through my back. His other hand grabs my mouth, pulling my head so he can look in my eye. "I see you, Wolf. You can't escape me. You managed to wound me but I can feel your reiatsu flickerin' like a fuckin' candle in the wind. You're in no shape for this fight."

I shake my head, trying to dislodge his hand with no success. He pulls his sword out of me, holding it up and licking my blood off of it. This startles me. The man is crazy. Has to be. I look into his green eye and instantly stop fighting. I see the madness there, hovering beneath the surface. His hand releases me. "Don't even think about it, mutt. You bite me, I'll cut that throat of yours. You're too weak to continue. However, since you ain't at full strength, I want a rematch."

I back away from him but he grabs my mouth again, forcing me to sit as he's pressing down hard on a pressure point on my nose. I growl at him and shake my head again before laying down and presenting him with my belly. I hate him. I'll kill him later but right now, I'm keeping my sorry ass alive.

"Smart move. Now, who are you really?"

I growl and roll back onto my stomach. I won't answer. Not a fucking chance. He'll never have my name or see my face. I turn and lick my wounded stomach, raising my reiatsu a little and letting out a whine as the wound heals itself slowly.

"You and Ikkaku are a lot alike. He carries around a damn salve that makes him stop bleedin' durin' battle." he comments. I growl again. "Stop that damn noise, idiot. I won fair and fuckin' square. Not my fault you're a weaklin'. Now, you're comin' back to the Seireitei whether you like it or not. You belong to me until you can get strong enough to kill me."

I glare at him but I have no choice. By me conceding victory to him, I have to follow whatever order he says. He is now my alpha...at least until I kill him. Who knows, maybe he can tell me why he smells like her. Oh wait, I can't ask him in this form. Oh well. Maybe someone else will let it slip. I haven't been to the Seireitei in two hundred years, give or take. I know it was pretty much destroyed about eleven years ago. I stood and watched it happen, laughing madly inside. So much for loyalty. Even the old man was killed. That wasn't as pleasant, as he was the alpha before this giant lug.

His hand reaches toward me, earning him a snarl but another glare forces me to be silent as he lifts my lip, examining my teeth. "Silver. Same with your claws. You ain't a wolf. I'm gunna take a stab at it and say you're a fuckin' coward ass soul reaper that ran away a long time ago. Couldn't be recent because you look like shit and I'da fought you before now. This your bankai?"

I sneeze, shaking my head in a negative manner. No, this isn't my bankai and this fucking idiot won't ever see my bankai if I can help it.

"Shikai?"

I lay my head down and refuse to answer.

"Tch. Be that way. Not like I care anyway, mutt. You wanna be a fuckin' dog, then be one, coward. But don't expect me to go easy on you just because you're too damn weak to show me who you really are. Bet you're a measly squad four-"

I snarl and get on my feet, walking away from him. Squad 4? Me? He has to be fucking joking. There's no squad 4 person with a sword like mine. I can't even use kido, let alone kaido so I wouldn't be able to be in squad 4. That bastard just insulted me. I hear him laugh as he walks past me to his fallen comrade. He pulls a hell moth from his uniform, relaying a message before turning the bald man over. He grabs the man's sword and removes the end off the hilt before smearing the stuff on the deep gash in his forehead. I walk up behind him and watch.

***Kenpachi POV***

I feel the wolf behind me but I don't sense any murderous intent. As soon as it had shown me it's belly earlier, that had disappeared as if it never had any. It's a fuckin' soul reaper. Gotta be. The joy I saw in those eyes while it was fightin' me could only come from a soul reaper. No animal would look like that. I briefly wonder if I wasn't wrong and the mutt is feral. Won't know unless it drops that form, whatever it is. Maybe it's somethin' like Sajin, that wolf faced bastard. I sit Ikkaku up against the tree before gettin' back to my feet and turnin'. I reach my hand out to the wolf but it snarls and backs away.

"Fuckin' scaredy cat."

It starts movin' away until it gets ten feet between us before layin' down. Those damn eyes never leave me, obviously not trustin' me. Good. That's a really good instinct. Somethin' tells me this wolf is full of surprises though. "You a male or female?" It doesn't bother respondin'. "Fine then. I'll figure it out eventually."

****Wolf POV - 2 hours****

People clear out of the way as I pull on the rope again, managing to drag the captain behind me a few inches before he plants his feet and jerks me back. "You ever gunna learn?" he grumbles. "You ain't gettin' loose. End of story."

"Zaraki...what is that?" a man with a straw hat and pink kimono over his captain's coat says. His brown hair and grey eye are familiar. He's lost an eye since I saw him last. One sniff has me stopped in my tracks, giving him a warning growl. He raises an eyebrow.

"That is the beast you sent me after this mornin'. The legendary Wolf of Zaraki." the man holding my rope says.

"Kenpachi, you know that isn't a wolf, right?"

I turn my head. Kenpachi? This man? Not unless...I take a long sniff. I don't smell her here in this city. His gaze isn't on me. "Yeah, I've figured that out. A wolf doesn't have steel fangs and claws. Think what we have here is a feral soul reaper."

"Feral? Perhaps. I think not, however. Head Captain, would you allow me to take it to my research facility?" a blue haired man with his face painted in a ridiculous fashion asks as he walks up beside Captain Kimono.

"No. It's mine. Not a fuckin' chance that you're takin' it. It'll kill you."

"Woah, easy. Mayuri, I think I'll allow some blood samples but I'm not keen on letting you experiment on it. Something is familiar about it. The reiatsu is tickling my brain but I just can't place it." Kimono says.

The man wanting to take me for experiments steps toward me. I snarl and back towards my new master but he follows me. "It's not feral. Not completely." he says quietly before reaching a hand out. I react quickly, clamping my teeth on his hand and shaking my head violently. To my surprise the arm comes off, leaving wires sparking in my face causing me to drop the arm. "Well now, that was uncalled for." is all he says before injecting something into the stump and growing a new arm. I snarl and lunge for him again but I'm caught around the throat by my master.

"Easy, Wolf. Much as I'd like to see you murder this freak, I don't wanna see you put down before I'm done playin' with you." he growls in my ear. I immediately cease growling and sit on his feet.

"See, it's not completely feral...it's immune to poisons though."

"What!?" Kimono yells.

"My blood is always full of poisons. This wolf got a mouthful of it, therefore, should be getting sick but it's not. Very interesting." The freak says.

I snarl at him again. The man in the kimono sighs. "Blood work. That's it. Zaraki, take it back to your barracks. You're responsible for it so if it kills anyone, I'll make you put it down, understand?"

"Got it. Come on, Wolf." I feel the rope pulled. I get to my feet and follow my master obediently for now, still sniffing occasionally. I don't smell her. The kimono wearing captain walks slightly behind me.

"Searching for something?" he asks quietly.

"Shunsui, if it's half feral and never comes outta that form, I ain't gunna kill it. It fights really damn good."

"Fair enough. Our laws say I'm supposed to kill it but I know this reiatsu. I know it but can't name it."

Shunsui? That's the kimono wearing head captain of the Gotei 13 now? Of all captains, they chose him? I laugh inside. Well, this won't be so bad. I was half expect old Yamamoto to still be here, though I know he can't possibly be. I stare at the once familiar gates of squad 11 and hesitate. I don't want to be here. Here is where bad things happen. Both captains notice.

"C'mon. Inside, mutt."

I continue to hesitate for a moment longer before stepping through the gates. I lunge forward, catching him by surprise, managing to pull the rope from his hands before taking off. I hear both captains running after me but I'm not up to anything bad. I run straight for the pond behind the office and stop, staring at the cherry tree. I take a few steps toward it until my head rests against the bark. I lay down beneath it.

"Take it you have a thing for cherry trees, huh, mutt?" Zaraki asks.

I glance at him then glance down.

"Zaraki, I think I know who this is but...no, it can't be. That person was killed in battle two hundred years ago." Shunui says softly.

"Who?"

"A little girl I helped raise. Her dad was a real abusive prick."

Zaraki stares at me keenly. "We'll find out eventually. One way or another."

I give him a growl. He'll never know. Ever. I'll take my secrets to the grave.


	2. Chapter 2

It's after dark but the building that I'm assuming is the mess hall is lively. I can hear laughing and arguing from my spot under the cherry tree. My stomach growls again but I have no intentions of joining them. I don't like crowds and I sure as hell hate being touched. I swivel my ears as a conversation about me begins.

"So, cap'n, what're you gunna do with that overgrown furball out there?" someone asks.

"Not sure yet. It was fightin' damn good but got too tired to go long. I'm gunna fight it again eventually." Zaraki's replies. "I'd suggest you idiots leave it alone though. Seems to hate people in general."

"It's not a real wolf though so...is it some kinda Hollow?"

"Nah, it's a demon. Bet you anything that's what it is."

"Captain Komamura wasn't a demon so what if it's a werewolf like him, sir?"

"Doubt it. We've spoken to wolf face's pack before and not a one of them are weird colored. It's a damn soul reaper gone half way feral, I think."

"So shouldn't you kill it?"

"Nah. Somethin' about it just makes me wanna keep it around. Call it instinct or whatever."

I get up and move closer to the mess hall. The bald headed man from before is there on the porch with someone else so I stop twenty feet away. They don't notice me at first.

"Ikkaku, I'm telling you, let it go. If Captain Zaraki is right and it's a half feral soul reaper, it obviously doesn't know any better. Perhaps with training it'll...well now, we seem to have a visitor." the new man says, turning a sharp violet eyed gaze on me. He wears blue feathers beside both eyes and his black hair has a slight violet tint where the lights from inside the mess hall are hitting it. "Such a beautiful creature, though obviously it's been in the wild a long time. And such eyes. I wonder if we gave you a name, would you respond to it?"

"Really, Yumichika? It's not a pet, for cryin' out loud."

Zaraki appears in the door way and eyes me. "Damn thing needs a bath but I ain't gunna worry about it for awhile. I suppose you're hungry, eh, Wolf?"

I sit and tilt my head to the side as my belly growls again. I hear him chuckle.

"Ikkaku, since you let it beat you earlier, go grab some food for it. I know it'll eat meat but grab some vegetables and fruit too."

"Yes, sir." Baldy says, hopping to his feet and dashing inside.

"Don't think about it." Zaraki's eyes are on my crouched form. I sit back down with a growl. It's not my fault when some idiot runs my prey instinct kicks in. Zaraki walks down the two steps and comes closer to me, reaching his hand out. I'm back on my feet, snarling. He grins, another hint of madness in his eyes. "Sit." I resist a few seconds before sitting, though my snarling doesn't stop. His hand descends on my head, petting gently. I shrink away from his hand until I'm as flat as possible on the ground. I hate it. I want to bite him but I can't.

"Sir?" the feather head says, coming up behind Zaraki.

His hand lifts off of my head and I take a deep breath in. I hadn't realized I was holding it. Zaraki eyes me and the hand starts toward me again but I run back to the cherry tree. I can't tolerate it any longer. Baldy brings a large bowl out of the mess hall but Zaraki stops him, taking the bowl from his hand before walking toward me. I growl and press myself as close to the tree as possible. "If you want fed, get your furry ass over here." I refuse, instead lifting my nose to the air and ignoring my growling stomach. I don't want touched...I can't stand it. He laughs. "I can hear your damn belly all the way over here, mutt. Get over here. Now."

I resist, planting my claws in the ground.

"Get your furry ass over here. Last time I say it before I lose my temper, bitch." he snarls.

My reiatsu flares violently, cracking the earth beneath my feet as my hackles raise and a snarl tears its way from deep within. He has no time to move before I jump, landing on his chest and getting nose to nose with him, my saliva dripping onto his face as foam begins forming at the corners of my jaws. I dart off of him as his hands raise. I won't kill him tonight. I don't have the strength to. I begin pacing back and forth between the cherry tree and the pond. This man is bringing back the memories I've tried so hard to burn out of my brain. I hate him.

***Kenpachi POV***

I watch the damn mutt pacin', my eye narrowed in concentration. I've said somethin' to trigger this response. I wipe the damn drool off my cheeks with the sleeve of my shihakushou as I think about it. It's almost like the damn thing is panickin' as it keeps shakin' its head. I watch as it finally lays on it's side, draggin' it's claws across it's face. It's injurin' itself, almost like tryin' to dig somethin' out of it's head. I get to my feet and run to it, throwin' myself over it and grabbin' it's paw. "Stop it!"

It's eye opens and I'm startled. It ain't red for a few seconds. It's blue, like the color a dog's eye gets sometimes. It's clouded with pain and panic. Just as suddenly, the blue bleeds back to blood red and it goes limp under me. The eye shuts and a tear mixes with the blood. "Come on, Wolf. Eat for me." I say quietly in it's ear. That eye opens again and it gives a small nod. I see flakes of dry blood fall into it's fur and realize the wounds have already healed. Damn, when it gets in shape this is gunna be a good fight. Almost as good as the one with that spoon headed espada a few years back.

***Wolf POV***

The panic slowly drains from me as I claw my own face, the pain grounding me. Suddenly, a hand is around my leg, stopping me from injuring myself further. The voices from my past slowly fade as his voice invades my ear. "Stop it!" I open my eye and look at him. His eye widens, letting me know my control of this form has slipped a little, so I pull myself together. "Come on, Wolf. Eat for me." he says, almost gently. I give him a small nod. When he releases me finally, I slowly get to my feet and follow him back to the bowl of food. I sit when he sits.

"Now, I don't trust you not to bite me so I'll play a game with you. I toss, you eat what you can catch. Deal?"

I don't bother trying to answer. The game doesn't last long though, since I catch everything he tosses at me. He smiles a little and my hatred for him declines a little bit. He may not be the cutest soul reaper I've ever seen but he has a rugged hotness to him. I haven't smelled any females in the barracks so it makes me wonder if he's alone like me.

"I know you can understand me so answer one question for me. Yes or no. Are you the kid Shunsui was talkin' about?" he asks suddenly. "I won't tell him if you are but I need to know what I'm workin' with, alright?"

I hesitate before shaking my head no. It's a lie, sort of. I'm not the girl Shunsui helped raise. She was weak and stupid. I cast her aside like a dirty wash cloth a long time ago. I'm just...a wolf. The girl he raised trusted people too much, except her parents. I briefly wonder again why I can't smell that woman. All captains of squad 11 claim the name Kenpachi but she was the real one. Where is she? I'll have to investigate when I'm able to.

"Are you a soul reaper?"

I nod.

"You hidin'?"

I shake my head no vigorously. No, I'm not hiding from anything but any paperwork I would otherwise be stuck with. Paperwork is evil.

He sticks his hand out again and I back away. "You hate bein' touched, dont you?"

I nod slowly.

"Someone hurt you bad at some point, didn't they?"

I drop my head. I don't want to answer but my reaction is answer enough apparently.

"So you took that form to escape, right? You know lots of people died eleven years ago. That person probably ain't even ali-"

I growl a little, staring him right in the eye. No, that person is no longer alive. I killed him. Right before disappearing for two hundred years.

He grins a little. "I may just get to like you, mutt. It'd be better if you came outta that form though. I don't understand growls."

I stick my nose in the air. Nope, not gunna happen. Not for a long time, if ever.

"You wanna sleep outside?"

I think about it for a minute before shaking my head.

"You want inside, huh? Well then, come outta that form."

I growl and move around him, crawling under the office porch. It's not perfect, but it's more shelter than out in the open. He laughs. "You'll come outta that form sooner or later, mutt. I'm patient so I'll wait. Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll be some pretty boy like Yumichika so he'll jabber in your ear instead of mine. No way you're a girl. Girls ain't mean like you."

I growl a little, giving no sign one way or another. He'll never know what I am. No way in hell. I keep an eye on him as he takes the bowl back to the mess hall before going to what I'm assuming is his house, placed further away from the other buildings. When he's inside, I slowly make my way over there and sniff around it. No females have been here for a long time, if ever. He must be alone. Well...I suppose I can at least guard his door. Not that he really needs it. I lay down at the top of the steps, blocking access to this house. Slowly, as the hours pass and full darkness settles over the city, I drift to sleep.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Kenpachi....find Blue. Give her the love I was never allowed to."

Retsu's last words echo in my head. Could that damn wolf out there be this "Blue"? A pet of hers? A science experiment of Kisuke Urahara? I hate not havin' answers. It really pisses me off. And what the fuck was with that damn thing's eye earlier? That blue was pretty but how did it shift from red to blue like that? Is it like a fuckin' mood ring or somethin'? Sad makes it blue, red means angry?

My thoughts are interrupted by a soft thump on the front porch. I can't stop the smirk. Damn thing doesn't like people but wants to hang around on my porch. It's lonely, that's the simple answer. From the way it answered about bein' hurt before I can understand why it hates people. I ain't a nice guy by any damn stretch of the word but maybe, just maybe, by playin' nice it'll trust me enough to come outta that form. It, he, she, whatever it is. I decide it's a he. No woman would let herself get so skinny and have tangles in her hair. Never mind the fact when it went belly up earlier there was no sign of a dick. Probably doesn't appear in it's wolf form.

I roll over and get comfy. That damn hussie Retsu better not bother me tonight. I'm bushed from wakin' up so damn early.

***Wolf POV***  
"You fuckin' bitch! I'll kill you! I'll kill you"

I run as fast as my legs can carry me. I'm so small. So weak. I wanted to draw daddy some nice pictures. I thought maybe he would like them. I was so wrong. My little legs can't outrun him though. He catches me by my hair, yanking my head back before punching and kicking me as hard as he can. I scream from fear and pain. He drags me back into his office and slams my head into the wall, denting it as he uses my cheek to remove the charcoal. Blood from my nose drips to the floor and he hits me again for it. "Get the hell out of here, bitch. I see you set foot in this fuckin' office again, I'll break your goddamn neck and throw your ass in one of the trash pits so nobody will never find you."

I limp away when my hair is released. Today is my birthday...why does daddy hate me so much? I try to be a good girl. I do my chores, sometimes even do extra chores. I cook, do the laundry and even clean the buildings in the barracks. Why does he hate me? Maybe I'm a bad girl. Evil, like he says. My mommy...mommy doesn't love me either. Not anymore. She hasn't seen me since I was a baby. I've seen her though, in the city whenever I sneak out. I couldn't stand it if I talk to her and she tells me she hates me, so I don't. My thoughts are distracting me from walking and I bump into daddy's lieutenant.

"The hell, you little brat. Watch where the fuck you're walking." he growls, kicking me in the side.

Something comes over me then. Something dark. Something evil. My vision clouds to red and I attack, hitting, kicking and biting this man. I'm like a rabid beast. He's bleeding and the sight is driving me mad. For the first time in my young life, I feel rage. It's hot, like lava, scorching through my veins. I manage to knock the man off his feet and hook my thumbs into his eyes, blinding him before biting his throat as hard as I can. I taste his blood, so different from my own, as I tear his throat to shreds. There's a fountain of blood when I lift my head, covering me. I spit the flesh out of my mouth as my rage sputters and dies.

"Hey! The hell, brat?" Daddy yells, running up to the scene. He stares for a moment before laughing. His hand descends on my head in a soft pat. "Great job, kiddo. Didn't like the idiot anyway. Now, go get cleaned up."

I smile at him. Daddy never praises me. Have I finally done something right?

I jerk awake as Zaraki's voice sounds in my ear. "Easy, big guy. Easy. Just a bad dream." he says, semi-soothingly. I notice he isn't touching me, just sitting beside me. The sun is up already, but he hasn't donned his shihakushou or haori yet. In fact, all he has on is a pair of skin tight black boxers. I avert my eyes. I want nothing to do with his anatomy down there...his abs though are to die for. I have a momentary wish to run my hands over them but decide I still hate him so he won't see my real form.

"I get dreams sometimes too. A damn captain. You mighta known her. Unohana?"

I perk my ears up.

"Take that as a yes. She died durin' the invasion of the Seireitei eleven years ago. She haunts my dreams sometimes. Damn hussie."

I can't help it. I bite his leg before getting to my feet and walking away. That's why I can't smell her. I had suspected as much but to hear she's dead hurts a little. I didn't get to say goodbye. I let my head hang, my nose practically dragging on the ground as I head for the cherry tree again. I hate this place. All the beauty dies in this stupid city....

The days blend together as Zaraki and I find a routine. I sleep on his porch, he sits next to me in the morning for a few minutes, trying to talk to me, then he says something stupid so I bite him and retreat to my cherry tree. He has Ikkaku bring me food. I eat the food. Ikkaku takes the bowl back to the mess hall. After Zaraki has eaten, we go out into the Rukongai to train the rookies. Then we come back home and he and I fight. Sometimes it lasts minutes, other times it lasts hours, depending on my energy levels. Both of us end up wounded, our blood staining the training grounds like paint on a wall. He always wins though, as I eventually lose my patience and make a mistake. We rest for a few minutes before we go to the mess hall, where he sits beside me as he eats, bringing me a bowl of my own food. He talks. I listen. Then, inevitably, he takes a nap on the office porch and I take a nap beneath my cherry tree. Once we wake, he deals out orders, then sits around drinking sake for a couple hours before eating dinner and the cycle repeats. Days slip into months like this, only occasionally broken by him getting a mission, usually taking me along with him, though sometimes I'm left at home. Months turn into two years...

It's my birthday and a blizzard has hit the Seireitei. I'm so fucking cold. I'm under the porch but it's not sheltering me against the wind. I lay shivering until I hear the door open. Zaraki whistles and I slowly make my way out from under the porch, my muscles having gotten stiff from the cold. "Get in here. You're gunna die out here." he orders, opening the door further. I gladly walk inside and he shuts the door, locking it. Why would he need to lock it? It has a knob so I can't get out anyway.

"I'm orderin' you to come outta that form. Now. Your fur is soaked and you're shiverin' like crazy so I'd say it's down to your skin." he says.

Shit....that's why he locked the door. To prevent me from running. I glance around for an escape route and, finding none, I shake my head.

"Come on. What do I gotta do? Knock your ass out?"

I shake my head and give him a pleading look. Don't make me do this. Please. Anything but this. He seems to soften, though he rolls his eye. "Fine. Go get in front of the furnace. I'll get a towel but you have to let me touch you."

Of the two evils, I can stand touching more than I can stand the thought of him seeing the real me. I do as he's ordered and let out a content sigh as the heat slowly melts the ice in my fur. He laughs as he comes to my side with a towel. He uses it to dry me, quickly and efficiently. He sits beside me as the shivering finally stops and I decide to be braver than I have been. I nudge his hand with my nose.

"What?"

I repeat the action.

"You want me to pet you?"

I nod and he grins like a kid in a candy store. He's smart though, and moves slowly. I, however, lose my patience and lay half way in his lap. The touch bothers me but I've come to trust this man not to hurt me outside of fighting. Well, a little, anyway. His hands delve into my fur and he laughs a little. "This mean we got a truce?" I nod and even wag my tail a little. "Well, it's a big step. Finally. I still wanna see what you look like though but I told you, I'm patient so I'll wait however long it takes. Two years ain't bad for finally lettin' me touch you though. Now that you are though...you need a damn bath. And a brush. Will you let me do that?"

I nod again. If I can stand being touched, how bad could a bath and letting him brush my fur be...?

"Well, you clean up pretty good." Zaraki laughs as he finishes brushing me. "However, I'm pretty fuckin' sure I didn't need a second wolf to take care of."

I look at the pile of fur next to him that's roughly the size of a Saint Bernard. I'm ashamed briefly but, you know, I feel a lot better. My fur is back to it's shiny, sapphire color and I look so much better. I don't think about what I'm doing before I lick his cheek gently.

***Kenpachi POV***

I stare at the wolf. He licked me. I wanna be angry but...I see gratitude in those eyes. I've never seen him look at me like that before. While it's good, I don't wanna let him get in that habit of puttin' his damn tongue on me.

"Look, you're welcome but don't fuckin' lick me. I don't like guys like that." I grumble.

I stand and grab the broom and dustpan, cleanin' up the fur off the floor. Somethin in the air changes and I glance over my shoulder...."What the hell?" I say, droppin' the dustpan and scatterin' the fur everywhere.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not a boy." I say, my voice a little rusty from not being used for two hundred years. Zaraki stares at me in disbelief before rubbing his eye and giving me a small smile.

"Yeah...I see that. I don't know what's got me more shocked. That or the fact you can speak." he admits before reaching for the towel on the chair and tossing it at me. I don't bother catching it. "You don't want to cover yourself?"

"We were all born naked. I've been naked for...a long time, except for my fur. I just...Thank you."

"For what?"

"Letting me come inside. No one ever let me come inside before. Even as a kid." I say before glancing around. There's a dining table and four chairs next to me on my right. The furnace is a few feet to my left. I can see two doors behind Zaraki, one on the left and one directly behind him that leads outside. I'm assuming the door on the left is probably his bedroom. I turn my gaze back to him and I catch him staring at my hair that's covering my breasts. "Yeah, I know, big surprise. I'm a female and have boobs. Big deal." I snap irritably.

****Kenpachi POV****

I smirk. "Yeah, you got a lot of room to fuss, woman. Don't think I didn't notice you takin' a look at my boxers that first morning on the porch."

Her laugh is genuine, like music almost. "I don't think I could've missed it, considering it was eye level with my head at the time, idiot." she says, wipin' her eyes. I step forward and catch her chin. I don't expect her to grab my wrist in a tight, painful grip.

"Easy. I just wanna see your eyes." I say, knowin' I've startled her.

She lifts her head a little so her chin isn't in my hand anymore. There's that blue that I caught a glimpse of that day two years ago. So she'd been close to snappin' outta that form maybe. Her hair is the same color her fur was...this has to be the "Blue" Retsu was talkin' about. I notice her grip on my wrist loosens and shifts down. She uses her finger to push on my hand before layin' hers flat against my palm and inspectin' my fingers. They're longer than hers, since the tips of hers are even with the last knuckle on each of mine. Her fingers are a little thinner than mine though, almost skeleton like. My eyes drift down to her stomach. Her ribs are visible, her stomach flat though not sucked up against her spine like it was in her wolf form when I first found her.

****Wolf POV****

"You need to eat more. I didn't realize I wasn't feedin' you enough." he says as his eyes come back to my face.

"I was always told this is how I look when I'm fat." I reply, quietly. His frown says it all.

"No. You ain't even close to bein' fat. You look an inch away from bein' starved to death. No wonder your belly is always growlin'. I always thought maybe what I was feedin' you was givin' you gas or somethin'."

I can't help my eye roll. "Trust me, if I have gas, you'll know it, idiot."

He smiles a little. "You're a bit mouthy, for bein' feral. Turn around. I wanna see how long your hair is."

"Long enough that it needs cut. No offence, but I don't trust you enough to show you my back like this. I barely trust you enough to show you my front."

"Good."

"What's good? Me not trusting you?"

"No. You're bein' honest. That's good. Far as a hair cut, I ain't good with that. If you trust him enough, I can get Yumichika to do it. He cuts his own hair so I know he can cut yours."

"You don't seem to trust him to cut your hair." I point out.

"Tch. I don't trust that man behind me. He's a little on the fruity side." he laughs before pulling his hand away from mine. "I'm in the mood for a snack. Want somethin'?"

"Whatever you're going to eat is fine with me....unless it's fish. Fish is for cats."

He laughs. A deep belly laugh. I've amused him. "You sure as hell ain't a cat."

I turn my body as he goes into the kitchen. It's not large, but there's a stove, oven, a refrigerator and plenty of cupboards in a dark mahogany color. The appliances are all black. I step to the edge of the kitchen and watch him as he shuffles around in the fridge. "So...now that you know, how long do I have before you get rid of me?" I ask, nonchalantly.

He turns and actually glares at me. I refuse to budge. "Who says you're goin' anywhere?"

"Squad eleven has never been female friendly except for my mo...Never mind." I mumble the last word, my eyes dropping to the ground.

"Don't do that. Only cowards can't look someone in the face when they're talkin'." he growls.

I lift my eyes back up. "Well, since you're my alpha, it's a sign of submission and respect. Not that you'd know anything about wolves."

"Alpha? The hell?"

"That day when you made me submit to you in battle. You are stronger than me, therefore you are my alpha. Alpha just means you're my boss."

"Do you even know my name?"

"Well, most people call you Captain Zaraki. Captain Kimono calls you Kenpachi sometimes so I'm assuming you call yourself Kenpachi Zaraki. Math never was a strong point of mine but one plus one is two."

He laughs again. "Damn you got smart mouth. I like that. You ain't afraid of me?"

"Well, not you in general. You as a person, yes. People are bad. You're the only one...well, the only recent one, that's shown me any sort of kindness in my life. I won't say you're kind. Quite frankly you're a bit of an ass, but you do have some good qualities."

"I could always throw you back outside. Though I think it's good that you're talkin' like that. Most people are afraid to talk to me like that. I think I like it. You got a name?"

"I..." I frown. I don't want to tell him. I don't trust him enough. "Honestly, I can't remember it. I've been a wolf for a really long time. I'm surprised I remember how to walk on two legs even."

"I see. Well, do me a damn favor. Stay like that unless you're not in the house. Anywhere else you can be a wolf, if you want, but in here, I want you like you are now."

"What? Naked?"

"No, numbskull. I person. I like bein' able to communicate and understand you instead of gettin' growled at all the time."

He finally pulls something out of the fridge and puts it in the pan on the stove. "Eggs?" I ask, taking a step closer.

"Plan on makin' an omelette. That alright? I'll make you your own."

"Sure...but what's an omelette?"

He stares at me. "What the hell did you eat growin' up?"

"My father..." I choke and shake my head. "You don't want to know my life story. It's dark and completely soaked in blood. Let's just say I hate natto and don't care for tea."

He frowns. "I hate natto and tea too. So don't worry about that here. Some of the men like that shit so that's why I made Shunsui put a kitchen in here once everythin' was rebuilt after the last invasion. That way I can skip natto day in the mess hall."

I take a couple steps closer to him. I'm within his reach, I know. "Why didn't you kill me that day?"

"Honestly, I was bored and wanted to see what you could do at full strength. I don't think you're there yet. Won't be for a while, judgin' by how skinny you are."

"I like fighting with you too. It helps."

"Helps?"

I nod. "It makes me not think about the past because I have to focus on the present. Since I've been back here, the past is always haunting my dreams."

"You were in squad eleven before?"

"Uhm...not exactly." I hesitate. "If I tell you you have to keep it between us. I don't want Swee to find me."

"Swee?"

"Shunsui. He'd be disappointed in the monster I've become. I don't want to see the rejection and hatred. I saw it enough on my fathers face. I couldn't stand it if I saw it on his."

He puts the first omelette on a plate and hands it to me. "Tell me, Wolf. I won't tell Shunsui until you tell me it's ok. Not because I don't want to, but I know if I do, you'll go back to bein' a wolf and I'll never see you like this again."

"Very right. In fact, I'd probably disappear completely."

"Deal then. Go eat and you can talk to me while you are."

I set my plate on the table and grab the towel from earlier, placing it over the chair before sitting. It takes me a little bit before I figure out the chopsticks. "Wow. This is really good. Thank you."

"Tch. Talk, Wolf."

"My father was the fifth captain of this squad. He...wasn't very nice. He's why I don't like being touched."

Zaraki sits across from me and starts eating. "Makes sense."

"Uhm...Shunsui tried to protect me as much as he could after I tried to run away once. He's the one who taught me to read and write. Captain Ukitake did too, when he was feeling well enough."

"So why don't you want him to know?"

"Because the girl he raised is dead. She was too nice. Too trusting. Too weak. I'm different. The girl before should've died before I destroyed her. I'm better now. He'd be ashamed of me." I sigh before shutting up and continuing to eat.

"So...you hate bein' touched, why let me all the sudden tonight?"

"Because you cared enough about me to not let me freeze to death."

"I see."

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch the woman as she eats. She really ain't afraid of me. She's naked as a damn baby, sittin' there eatin' and doesn't seem uncomfortable one bit. No, I'm the one who's uncomfortable. She's gorgeous, her skin pale like moonlight. Even though she's skinny, what I can see behind her hair, she's got a great pair of tits that would fill my hands nicely. Not as big as Matsumoto's but that's ok. I don't like huge ones. I estimate her to be probably a C cup. "Do you want me to get you some clothes for while you're in the house?"

"Does my nakedness bother you?"

"No, I like seein' you naked but it's pretty uncomfortable over here, if you catch my drift."

She fuckin' blushes. "I'm sorry. Don't take this the wrong way but...uhm...I've never done anything like that so I don't think it'd be a good idea to try. Men tried before and lost their heads for it. Plus a wolf mates for life so...you don't seem like the type of man to want to be tied to one woman forever."

"Not like I was askin' anyway, mutt. I like women with meat on em. You're too damn skinny. You'd be flatter'n a pancake when I'm done with you."

"Yeah, probably. Muscle weighs more than fat so you would squash me. Plus, I have a feeling you couldn't do the job right anyway. Have you ever had a female? A willing one?"

"Believe it or not, you fuckin' smart ass, I have. Wasn't very good though, except for one. They don't like my way so to hell with it. My hand does the job just fine."

Her face gets even redder. "I've never done that either. Never really had an interest in it because...well, honestly, I've never met a guy who makes me want him. And two hundred years as a wolf, not like I'd find one anyway."

"You're fuckin' killin' me. So you don't even know what the hell you'd like in bed but you're sayin' I can't do the job? You're challengin' me."

She finishes eating before goin' and washin' her plate. Seein' my plate is empty, I start to stand but her hand on my shoulder pushes me back down. She's reachin' around me for the plate and I feel her body against my back. Fuckin' cock tease. The heat of her body is gone as she takes the plate away and washes it for me. "So...Captain...I think it's best if I stay like this in the barracks too so if it's still on the table, I'll take you up on your offer. Please."

"I'll get a couple uniforms ordered for you. If you need girly shit, you'll have to get it yourself. I'll let you borrow some money."

"In return for?"

"Come here."

She hesitates before walkin' to me and standin' beside me. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Maybe you will." I say right before pullin' her into my lap and kissin' her. For never havin' done this before she's decent at it. And...she ain't fightin'. I'll be damned. I ain't gunna push her though. I like my sex partners willin'. The rumors sayin' I only get laid when I force it piss me off. I've never forced a woman to my bed and I ain't gunna start now. I pull away and watch her. She lifts her hand to her lips and smiles a little. "See? Not so bad, am I?"

"No, not really. Uhm...where do you plan on keeping me while I'm here?"

"In my bed so I can keep an eye on you. I won't touch you. I ain't a complete thug."

She nods and smiles a little. "Thank you....I've never slept in a bed before. Only on the ground."

"Even as a kid!?"

She nods. "Well, I don't think Swee's couch counts because I never really slept the nights I stayed there. I was too afraid to close my eyes."

I pull her body against mine, holdin' her so close I can feel the fast beatin' of her heart. "Tell me more. Stays between us. Did you know your mother?" I ask, already suspicious of the answer.

"I knew who she was but she didn't have anything to do with me. I was a year old when she left me with my father."

"Who was she?" I already know.

"I can't tell you. It doesn't matter."

"It was Unohana, wasn't it?"

She jerks like I've slapped her. "How did you know?"

"You look like her. In the face, I mean."

"Something you may want to know, I can smell it when someone lies."

"Alright...she used to talk about a kid named Blue sometimes. Had to be you. If your nickname ain't Blue, I'll be a damn baboon."

"I didn't have a nickname growing up. Well, I did but it wasn't a nickname. My father called me it so much I thought it was my real name until one of his men told me what it meant. He never used my real name. Probably another reason I don't remember it."

I think back. "So all those times I called you a bitch, that's what set you off, huh?"

"Yeah....why're you holding me?"

"I'm gunna break you of your fear of bein' touched, one way or another."

She sighs. "I'm not afraid of it, I just don't like it. Every time I was touched as a child it was only violent...I don't understand gentle touches and shy away from them. I've developed a love, hate relationship with pain. That's all I understand."

Fuck. She has no idea what the fuck she just said. I can't reign in my thoughts or my body's reaction to that statement. She might just be able to handle me if I can get her to trust me enough for sex. "You tired?"

"A little. Honestly, I kinda like it right here though."

That surprises me. "Why?"

"I like the sound. And you have a comforting smell, sort of. You have a similar smell to my mother, but distinctly different."

"You can smell a lie and smell a person's scent? In this form?"

"Okami and I are so closely connected that I'm more wolf than person. Since he first came to me, I've always been able to smell and hear better than everyone else."

"Okami? Your zanpakuto?"

"Yeah." her voice is gettin' quiet.

"So, that wolf, is it your shikai or bankai?"

"Shikai, I think. I don't know. I've never had to use a command to use that form."

"Do you have bankai?"

She doesn't answer me. I glance down and see her eyes are closed. It's been a long time since anyone has fallen asleep in my arms. I carefully lift her, keepin' my eyes straight ahead. If I look down I'm gunna have a really hard time not latchin' onto her. She's limp as a noodle in my arms as I carry her to bed.

****Wolf POV -dream****

I limp away from the barracks, holding back my tears. I can't do this anymore. Daddy hurt me so bad I wish for death. I forgot to take my shoes off before going in the mess hall to eat my dinner of bread and water. Daddy had seen and took swift action. I'd fled when he was done, as quickly as I could manage with the injuries to my little body, especially my feet.

"Child, can you hear me?"

I look around, startled. There's no one. It's three in the morning. I'm lost in the middle of the Seireitei. I can't speak. Daddy told me if I ever spoke, he'd cut out my tongue and make me eat it. I don't want to eat my tongue.

"I see you can hear me. It is time for you to know me as your partner. I am Okami. You are my partner. Together, we shall get stronger and destroy that man."

I flinch as red eyes appear in front of my face. They're connected to a giant blue wolf. It drops a sword at my feet, the sheath and ribbon on the hilt royal blue, a shade lighter than my hair. The kanji for Okami is on the hilt in blood red.

"I will not always be visible to others. All you must do is simply think my name and I shall hear your call. For now, allow me to take you someplace safe."

I hold my arms up to him and he lifts me, carrying me toward the barracks of squad 8. Why here? Shouldn't he take me to squad 4?

"You are safer here, with Shunsui."

I'm left alone on the porch of the squad 8 barracks. I glance at the door. I've only met Shunsui once. He seemed nice enough but what if he's really like daddy? What if under that smile there lurks a monster? I crawl to the door, whimpering slightly. I don't have a choice. I have to get help. I bang on the door as loudly as I can. I hear sluggish foot steps and the door opens. "It's still dark out. What...oh Hell!" he curses, seeing the blood pouring from my feet. He lifts me in his arms and carries me inside. "Who did this to you?"

I shake my head and make hand signals. I wasn't allowed to speak to him when I'd met him, as daddy had been there. Daddy had forced me to tag along for a captain's meeting and afterwards he and Shunsui had stopped to chat. Shunsui had tried to talk to me but daddy had lied, telling him I was mute and probably too stupid to talk anyway.

"Did your father do this?" Shunsui asks as he sets me down on his leather futon. His grey eyes bore into my blue ones, demanding the truth. I want to lie. Even though daddy hates me, I feel the need to protect him but the stern gaze makes me wilt and nod my head. He curses again. "That man has no place to be your father. Did you walk all the way here?"

I shake my head no and hesitantly show him Okami. He stares, wide eyed, for a moment before nodding. "Your zanpakuto manifested itself?"

I nod. He sighs. "Alright...sweetheart, this is going to hurt and I'm sorry for that, but I have to see what he did. Can you take your sandals-"

I shake my head no and start sobbing, trying to pull my feet up under me. He hugs me, the only time I've ever been hugged. "Shh. It's ok. Can I look?" I nod and he releases me, smiling a little. It doesn't reach his worried eyes. He sits back and takes my left ankle gently in his hand, lifting my foot up where he can see. His face pales and I see a flash of fury in his eyes. "I need to take you to squad four, honey."

I shake my head and point at the floor, my eyes pleading with him. Please, bring them to me. My little body is so tired, I couldn't bear to even be carried. He seems to understand. "Alright. I'll call for a medic. Do you mind if I give you something to make you sleep? You don't need to be awake for this. I'll stay right here with you the whole time."

I hesitate and make a talking motion with my hand then point at myself.

"You want me to talk to you while you sleep?"

I nod. His voice is comforting, much softer than daddy's harsh, cruel tone. Shunsui smiles. "I'll talk all you need me to, sweetheart. Can you show me on your fingers how old you are?"

I think about it and lift 6 fingers. Shunsui seems surprised but says nothing. I'm very small for a six year old, both height and weight wise. It's not my fault. Shunsui mumbles something and puts his hand on my forehead. Suddenly, everything goes black as I go to sleep. I can hear his voice in my head though, so he must be talking.

****Kenpachi POV****

I crack an eye open. She's whimperin' in her sleep, her feet jerkin' a little. I put her next to the wall before I went to get a shower and ease my discomfort. It didn't help much. I've never had a woman spend the entire night in my bed and now here's one, but she's off limits, for now. She whimpers again, a pained look comin' on her face. I sigh. Of fuckin' course she's damaged. I'm not sure I wanna know her past, honestly, but if it's causin' issues enough that she can't even rest while she's sleepin', I'll have to let her tell me, I suppose. A tear falls down her cheek and I decide she needs comfort. I reach out and drag her body to me, rollin' her so her back is against my body. Almost instantly, she relaxes and lets out a soft sigh. I watch her for awhile, ignorin' the fact that my dick is hard as a fuckin' rock again. She's fuckin' beautiful but she looks like a different captain. She looks like Ukitake. I briefly wonder if there's a picture of the one she calls her dad's in the office files somewhere. I'll be able to tell if he was her dad or not, I'm sure. I drift back to sleep slowly, my arm wrapped around her body, my nose buried in her hair, drinkin' in a scent that's like a mixture of blood, honeysuckle and death.

She'll be mine, one way or another.


	4. Chapter 4

"Shunsui, this child is severely underweight. You say she can't speak?" a female voice says softly.

"That's what Captain Mori told me. She was able to tell me she's six using her fingers and she understands speech but she hasn't said a word."

"I know for a fact she is able to speak. Look, I need you to do me a favor, please."

"Sure, Retsu."

"I need you to help her learn to read and write...and protect her as much as you're able. Head Captain Yamamoto sanctions this abuse to this child and I can't sway his opinion but I can work behind the scenes to ensure she maintains her sanity."

"Retsu, what are you talking about?"

"This child is mine, Shunsui. Yamamoto is forcing me not to be her mother. He wants her to be a weapon to use against the Quincies but he's going about it the wrong way. He's told Mori to beat her as much as he can, hoping she'll go mad."

"Are you serious!?"

"Yes. I may be The Kenpachi, but my hands are tied in this. Please, help her. I'm not even supposed to be here but I needed to be. She's grown so much and I can't even acknowledge her existence to her face. It breaks my black heart."

"Your heart isn't black. Mori's is. Why in the hell would he nail her shoes to her feet?"

"I don't know. I plan to take him to task for it. I've healed what I can and it seems she has her own power to heal as the holes continue to grow smaller."

"She showed me her zanpakuto. I asked her earlier if she walked the entire way here and she shook her head and showed me. I asked her if it manifested and she nodded at me."

"She's a very strong girl. Mori has no clue what he's dealing with."

"I'll do what I can. And you know Jushiro will help too."

"Jushiro...well, it's only right he be able to see her."

"Why?"

"Some secrets aren't mine to tell."

"Retsu, is Jushiro her father?"

It's silent. Mommy apparently either won't answer out loud or she won't answer in general. Sleep pulls me back under. My feet don't hurt anymore...in fact, for the first time in my short life, nothing hurts.

I wake when a soft snore sounds in my ear, startling me. I'm instantly on alert. I fell asleep in Zaraki's arms and, for whatever reason, he chose to keep me there all night. I won't complain. He smells really good to me. Like blood, oak and steel. My only concern is that he'll get crazy ideas about this arrangement. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to take a mate but...well, I know he's not the type so I don't want to commit to him. Wolves mate for life, as will I. My body wants him, but I refuse to listen. This man isn't going to want to remain attached to just one woman so it's a bad idea. I hate rejection.

I close my eyes again and relax. It's still dark out, though the sky is beginning to lighten up a little. Honestly, being this close to him is comforting. His heartbeat is like a lullaby to me, its strong, steady beat loud and clear in my ears. I place my hand over the one he's placed over my hip. His fingers flex a little under mine but relax again. I haven't woken him. Not really sure I want to either, judging by the hard lump he's managed to press against my ass. My mouth goes dry as I picture what he could do with that thing....wait, do I actually want him!? I'm in trouble. So much trouble.

His hand moves swiftly, grabbing my chest. Even though there's a robe between his hand and my skin, I still feel the heat of his body. Or, maybe, it's how hot this is making me.

****Kenpachi POV****

She ain't fussin'. I figured she would. She woke me up when she snuggled a little closer to me and put her hand on mine. Her ass is right against my dick. I want to pull my boxers down and tear my robe off of her and fuck this woman til my name is a prayer on her lips, but I can't. Not yet. However, her hand gently shifts mine into the robe. I take the hint and squeeze her breast, rubbin' my thumb over her nipple. I was right. Perfect handful. She moans softly as I knead her like a damn cat. Fuck! I need to fuck her.

She moves suddenly, throwin' herself away from me. I look at her. Shit. I can see the confusion and panic in her eyes. "Easy, Wolf. I ain't gunna force you."

"I'm sorry. I just can't. It's different for you. You can run around and fuck whoever you want, whenever you want. For me...one and done. It's a permanent bond. Wolves mate for life, Captain."

I sit up. "You'll change your mind eventually, maybe. Til then, I won't touch you unless you got clothes on, alright? You're right, I ain't the type to get married and have a bunch of kids runnin' around. Ain't got time for that shit. Love is just a fuckin' word in the dictionary. So if that's what you're lookin' for, you won't find it with me."

She looks sad for a moment but nods. "I already knew that."

"The hell does that mean?"

"I didn't figure you to be the type to love anyone or anything besides battle. Plus love isn't even in my dictionary. My own parents couldn't love me so how the hell would some stranger?" she smiles a little, though it doesn't reach her eyes. In truth...I think I'm already fallin' for her. Mostly because she has no fear of me but also because she's so damn honest, even if it hurts her to be.

"It's still to early to be up. Come back over here."

"Why? Plan on molesting my boobs some more?"

I flash her a grin and, to my surprise, she seems to soften a little. "Only if you want me to. I was actually plannin' on just holdin' you. Didn't realize how nice it is to cuddle someone."

"What?"

"I've fucked women before, obviously, but none of 'em have ever stayed a night in my arms. I kinda like it."

She moves back over but pushes me to lay on my back before cuddlin' up to my side and layin' her head on my chest. I wrap my arm behind her. "Captain, why did you bring me in last night? You've never done it before."

"Didn't want you to freeze to death before we get a chance at a real fight again. That's all."

She doesn't reply. I assume she's gone back to sleep. Probably a good thing. I don't wanna hurt her outside of fightin'. I let my eyes close and drift back to sleep too. I wasn't lyin', it is nice to have a woman to cuddle with. When I've fucked a woman before, they'd always run as soon as it was over. I mean, I'm a rough guy. Sex is another battle, in a sense. It's a a battle to dominate my partner and find a way to pleasure them. Most women don't like my methods. I like it rough. I like a woman to be squirmin' beneath me, beggin' for me to fuck her. I got enough stamina to pull an all night session but no woman has ever been able to stand that much. Maybe one day this woman can satisfy my needs but I'll be patient for now.

****Wolf POV****

I listen to Zaraki's breathing as he sleeps. I want him. I understand now why he said he was uncomfortable. I'm in so much fucking trouble. I slip into my inner world, a forest overlooked by a blood red moon, giving everything a blood red hue. Okami lays in the middle of the clearing, sleeping it looks like. I lay beside him, my hands stroking his fur gently. He yawns and I smile at the whistle. His yawn is my yawn.

"What's wrong?" he asks, cracking his blood red eye open.

"Okami...I know you can feel what I feel. I'm scared." I answer honestly.

"Scared? Of what? Your alpha?"

"Yes. I'm afraid of how I feel for him."

"You've fought hard against these feelings for a year now, girl. He's treated you as an equal for two years...yet you still don't trust him?"

"How can I? "

Okami laughs. "Fight as long as you want but you'll submit to him eventually. A wolf knows it's mate and he is yours. This is one battle you can't win."

"Why do I bother coming here to talk to you? You don't help." I groan.

"I've helped as much as I'm going to. Go bother him. I'm trying to sleep." he grunts.

I open my eyes and catch Zaraki staring at me. "You talk in your sleep." he grumbles.

"What did I say?"

"Enough for me to know I got work to do if I'm gunna get you to trust me."

"I do trust you....a little."

He smirks. "Not like I want you to though."

I roll my eyes and sit up, staring out the window. I wrinkle my nose. "Ew."

"What?"

"All the snow. It looks like there's at least two feet out there. I hate snow."

He laughs and sits up behind me. "Get over it."

"You'd hate snow too if you didn't wear shoes." I grumble.

He frowns. "I'll get your uniforms ordered today so you have-"

"No, Captain. I don't wear shoes. I haven't worn shoes since I was six and I'm not about to start now." I growl, giving him a heated glare.

"Why not?"

"I don't like having them nailed to my feet, alright?"

He stares at me. "What?"

"My father nailed my sandals to my feet when I was six because I forgot to take them off before going in the mess hall to eat. Any more questions?" I snap.

To my surprise, he pulls me into his arms. "Alright. No shoes then. You'll have to be a wolf today until your uniforms are delivered. For now though-"

I stop him with a kiss. I can't tell him how I feel but I hope a kiss won't clue him in. Maybe he'll think it's a thank you for not forcing me to wear shoes. I don't expect him to react the way he does. He grabs a handful of my hair, holding me in place as his tongue invades my mouth, unlike last night. I react instinctively, my tongue dueling with his for dominance. He bites my lip, just enough to hurt and I know I'm completely fucked by how my body responds. I pull away. His eyes are fevered. "Woman, if you tease me like that again, I won't hold back." he snarls, though not angrily.

"Sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Tch. You're an idiot. It's breakfast time. I gotta get dressed. I'll speak to Yumichika about cuttin' your hair this afternoon, if you want."

I nod. "Please. I think I can handle him doing that. He doesn't seem the type to hurt a woman unless she starts something."

"Exactly."

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I've never told anyone the horrors of my child hood but...Okami trusts you. So I'll try to work on it."

He nods. "Fair enough."

I get out of bed and throw his robe off, hanging it on the hook on the bathroom door. I turn around and Zaraki is eyeing me with dilated pupils. I roll my eyes again. "Stare at me much longer and you'll go blind, Captain."

"You have no idea what I wanna do to that smart mouth, woman." he growls.

"In your dreams, idiot."

Before he can respond, I'm back as a wolf.

***Kenpachi POV***

Damn brat. One of these days, I'll put that mouth to good use. I don't think I've been this fuckin' hard in a long time. No doubt about it. She's mine. Whether she wants to play nice or not. She'll beg for it eventually. The very thought makes me feel close to losin' control. I get out of bed and head for the bathroom, shuttin' the door behind me. I stand in front of the toilet and let my mind get carried away as I try to bring some relief to my dick. It doesn't take long. If she gains a little weight, she'd have a body to die for. And that goddamn mouth...I wonder if she'd spit or swallow. The mere thought of her lips wrapped around me there sends me over the edge.

*****Wolf POV****

I wait patiently on Zaraki. I think I know what he's doing. I'd read one of Shunsui's naughty books once while he wasn't in his office with me. I had been fourteen at the time. I'd had questions and was too embarrassed to ask, so, knowing Shunsui had those things hidden in his office, I'd taken to reading one. A low grunt from the bathroom confirms my suspicions. I envy him, being able to do that. I'm totally inexperienced and I was always too shy and confused to try to do such a thing to myself. If curiosity can kill a cat, I feel sure it can kill a wolf.

I hear the faucet turn on and move to the front door. Zaraki doesn't take long to get dressed before joining me. I give him a wolf grin and wink. He blushes a little. "Shut up." he says before unlocking the door. I walk outside and grimace. It's still snowing. I hate snow! However, unlike Zaraki who's plowing through it, I'm light enough to walk on top of it. I run ahead of him teasingly.

****Kenpachi POV****

I get to the mess hall a few minutes after the furball does. She just sits and grins at me. "Show off." I grumble, jerkin' her ear gently. She doesn't bite me like she usually does when I touch her, which is good. Shockingly, she follows me inside the mess hall instead of stayin' outside. The men watch, mouths open. I grab her bowl and my plate, headin' to sit with Ikkaku and Yumichika like I usually do. She follows and sits on my other side while Ikkaku is in his usual spot on the right.

"Made progress, I see." he comments.

"Yeah. I let her inside so she wouldn't freeze."

"She!? That's a female?"

"Well, she let me dry her off and it's pretty noticeable that she doesn't have a dick."

"That makes me even more curious how she looks." Yumichika says, eyeing her from his spot across the table. I feel a flash of jealousy but don't show it.

"Who the hell knows. I'll be sendin' out uniform orders today. Paperwork on my desk?"

"Yes, sir. I took a tally yesterday." Ikkaku says.

"Good. I'm not trainin' in this weather. Half the men probably couldn't move anyway so to hell with it today. They can slack off for all I care unless we get an order."

"Sounds good to me."

Wolf finishes eatin' and goes back outside. I know she doesn't like crowds but I'm proud of her for comin' inside to eat finally. Might be a baby step but still a step.

"Captain, what do you plan to do with her?" Yumichika asks pointedly.

"Huh?"

"Well, squad eleven isn't female friendly for starters and secondly, she doesn't appear to want to not be a wolf."

"So? She's a good fighter so she stays."

"Have it your way. Captain Kurotsuchi was asking if you'd changed your mind about the rabid beast yet, as he calls her."

"Tch. Over my dead body."

****Wolf POV****

"Well, good morning, furball. Everyone inside eating?" Shunsui asks as he steps onto the porch.

I eye him before nodding. He smells like he's been drinking. He's not drunk by any means though. He reaches to pet me and, for once, I allow it. This startles him. "Well, now, is this a truce finally?"

I snort and bare my fangs at him. He chuckles and walks inside the mess hall while I go back to Zaraki's house. He's left the door unlocked and I manage to get my teeth around the knob and open the door. I shut it behind me and go lay in front of the furnace. My body is buzzing with need but I have no idea what I'm doing so I decide being a wolf is best for now. I let myself drift to sleep as the warmth of the furnace seeps into my fur.

****Kenpachi POV****

I sit in the office with Shunsui. Wolf went home, I know because her tracks went back that direction. "Shunsui, I got a question for you."

"Fire away." he says.

"That girl you mentioned a couple years ago. The one you helped raise. What was her name?"

"Why do you ask? She's de-"

"Shunsui, I think my wolf is her. What color eyes did she have?"

"Really light blue, like dogs get sometimes. Why? You're not making any sense."

"I brought her in last night and for a brief second, her eye was that color before goin' back to red."

He pales. "She was killed two hundred years ago."

"You said they never found a body, right? What if they never found one because there wasn't one to find?"

He curses. "Her name was Harmona. Harmona Mori, daughter of Captain Mori of Squad Eleven."

I get to my feet and go to the shelves of files, looking for the m's. Finally comin' across it, I shuffle through them before findin' it. I bring it back to my desk. The picture inside is an instant confirmation of my suspicions. He had brown eyes and white hair. Retsu's eyes were blue but she had black hair. Where does Wolf's blue hair come from? She looks nothin' like this creep. But it's all here in his file. There's not a lot to read though. "Either this is tampered with or he wasn't a captain long."

"He died the same day she did. He was only a captain for roughly twenty years."

"Tch. Weakling."

"You know...now that I think about it, his wounds were odd. They were sent out to kill a group of Quincy. His throat was torn out and his heart was completely missing, like it had been eaten."

I nod. "Shunsui, what if my wolf is that girl?"

"Well, if she is...I'd be very surprised if she has any sanity left. He was a complete brute when it came to her. Beatings, broken bones, nailed her shoes to her feet. Thank goodness the only thing he didn't do was molest her. Captain Yamamoto took custody of her when she was about ten after Mori went a little too far."

"I meant what'll you do if it is?"

"Well, I'd be relieved to know she's still alive. I came to love her as a father. We spent a lot of time together when she was a kid. I taught her to read and write...and speak. She was mute until almost eight years old, but I think it's because Mori hurt her if she tried to talk."

I make the decision. "It's her. I promised her I wouldn't tell you but it's not right to keep you in the dark. Do me a favor and act like you don't know. She thinks you'd be ashamed of her."

"What!? Why would I be? And how do you know?"

"She finally came outta that form last night. I don't know why, other than I finally let her inside durin' the blizzard. She looks bad, Shunsui. Beautiful but she needs to put weight on."

"I'll pretend I don't know a thing. Do what you can to help her realize I'd never be ashamed of her, ok?"

"Shunsui, I got a bigger problem with her."

"What's that?"

"She enjoys walkin' around naked."

He smirks. "I see where this is going."

"She told me she's more wolf than person so if I fuck her, that's it for her. Honestly...I think I'm fallin' for her pretty damn hard. She ain't all sweet and doe eyed like the other idiots around here. Her tongue is damn sharp and she's honest."

He blinks. "She's sane?"

"Well, maybe not completely, but for the most part, yeah."

His sigh of relief lets me know I've done the right thing. "Work with her...I'll warn you if you hurt her, I'll kick your ass myself."

"Tch. She won't let me touch her really so no worries."

"Good. Don't you dare force her."

I give him a glare. "I'm not a fuckin' rapist, you asswipe."

"I know. I'm just warning you anyway."

"I'll work with her and see if I can't get her to come see you."

"Thanks. I'd appreciate it."

***Wolf POV***

I lift my head as I hear the door open. One sniff and I know who's here. "Hey, mutt, where you at?"

I yawn and stretch before getting to my feet and making my way around the table so he can see me. Yumichika is with him, just like he said he would be. I didn't realize it was so late in the day. I guess I must've been sleeping pretty good.

"I'm confused, sir. You said there was a girl here that needed her hair cut. I don't see a girl. I see your pet though." Yumichika says, rather sarcastically. I look at Zaraki and tilt my head. He shakes his head and gives me a grin so I shift.

"I happen to take offence to that, pinhead. I am not his pet anything." I snap, crossing my arms over my chest. I can't help but smile at Yumichika's astonished look. "Yeah, hi. I'm the girl needing a hair cut."

I'm beyond shocked when he smiles and hugs me. "My Goddess, you are gorgeous! Thank you for trusting me to cut your hair. Captain, I need a robe, please."


	5. Chapter 5

"All done, my dear."

I nod. "Thank you, Yumichika. I appreciate it."

He smiles. "Anything for such a beautiful creature. I will be in charge of your hair from now on. If you let anyone else touch it except for brushing, I will shave you bald next time."

I laugh. "Deal, since you insist."

"Alright, out of here, feather head. Uniform orders should be comin' any time now. Go intercept em, will ya?" Zaraki growls from his seat across the table from me. "Hers will be marked."

"Hers? You mean you plan to walk with us peons?" He teases me.

"I think it's time. If I stay a wolf much longer, I run the risk of going absolutely mad." I shrug.

"Too right. I'll bring hers here once I get them distributed to the men, Captain."

Yumichika bows politely to me before walking out. I sigh. "He's not going to keep quiet long."

"Nope, probably not. I know your name, by the way. I asked Shunsui to give me some info on the girl he helped raise then looked up the bastards file."

I nod. "I happen to know it too, I just...wasn't real sure I wanted to tell you. That's why I dropped that hint about my fath-"

"He sure as fuck ain't your dad. No way. You look nothin' like him."

I blink. "Yeah. I kinda figured but...he raised-"

"He didn't do shit for you except starve you, beat you and make you feel worthless." Zaraki snaps.

"True. Shunsui did more raising of me than he did." I sigh.

"Harmona."

I look at him. "It's been a very long time since I've heard my name."

He gets to his feet and holds his hand out to me. "Come on."

"Where are you taking me?"

"I need a nap. Looks like you already took one but you can keep me company, since you don't have anythin' better to do."

I take his hand and let him guide me to the bedroom. I crawl into his bed and sit next to him when he lays down. He makes me smile by laying his head in my lap. I gently pet his hair, surprised by how soft it is. "Captain, thank you."

"For what?"

"Putting up with my crazy ass self. And for the uniforms."

"Tch. You're gettin' mushy, weirdo."

I think back to what Okami said. There's no doubt in my mind I want Zaraki but he wouldn't want me. I'm probably not his type. I sigh and lay my head back against the headboard. "Captain, why do people like sex so much?"

"Shit. Woman, what'd you hear?"

"Well...I figured out what you were doing this morning before we left but I've caught some of the men in some pretty indecent positions with women. I just...I don't know. I guess I wonder why it's important?"

"It's important because it feels good with the right person."

"Why are you alone then? Too small for the women you've had?" I tease him.

"You wanna see just how small I am, woman?" he challenges me.

"No. Not at all." I lie, blushing and thankful he can't see me since his eye is closed.

"Tch. You're a damn brat. Women I've been with expect someone to be gentle. I don't do gentle. I'm rough and impolite. I want a woman who can take my stamina too. I ain't one of these weaklin's who can only go once then need a rest. I can go twelve hours straight and still want more. I need a woman who can handle pain and pleasure at the same time. The bimbos around here can't. You ever find a woman like I'm describin', send her my way."

I want to hit him. I really do. "No way. That'd be awkward."

"How?"

"Well I'm certainly not staying where I can hear you having sex, idiot. Course, if you're as rough as you say, I'd have to leave the Seireitei to not hear it, I'm sure."

"Probably. Why you askin' all the sudden?"

"Curious I guess. Maybe I'm just bored and want to tease you."

"I wouldn't tease me about that too much. It's hard enough for me not to touch you. I ain't a rapist though. I want a woman screamin' in pleasure, not fear."

I smile a little. "You talk a lot for someone who's trying to go to sleep."

"Then shut the hell up and quit askin' stupid questions."

"Yes, master." I growl before swatting the side of his head. He sits up and I lay down.

"Woman, you dare to hit me?" he smirks.

"Aww, did I hurt the baby?"

He waits until my eyes close before he smacks my ass. My body responds in a way I don't expect. I gasp from the slight pain. "That's a warnin' smack, smart ass. Next time, I'll hit harder and more than once." he growls in my ear.

"Yes, Captain. I'll behave."

****Kenpachi POV****

Fuck me! She actually let me swat that ass and din't complain like the women I've had before. That's it. She's gunna be mine, one way or another. I won't give her the option of choosin' another man. I've never met a woman like her. She didn't even flinch when I told her I like it rough. And that gasp didn't fool me. Not one damn bit. That wasn't from pain, but from surprise. So she liked it possibly. I don't want to find out right now, not until she's ready but I'll have to be careful around her. In the past eleven years, I've only jerked off maybe a handful of times, mostly out of boredom. I'll have to do it more often until she's willin', just to keep control of it.

****Harmona POV****

Zaraki isn't sleeping. I can tell by his breathing. I can almost hear the gears turning in his head. What did I do? Have I made a mistake or is he thinking about smacking me again? I'll be honest, I don't think I'd mind that. It didn't really hurt so much as startle me. What am I going to do? I won't be able to resist forever. I feel him roll onto his back and I wait to hear his breathing change before I roll and put my head on his chest. This is going to be a difficult road, I think, but as long as he allows me to stay close, I won't complain. I close my eyes and let sleep overtake me again...

"Hey, wake up. It's time to eat. Yumichika delivered your uniforms while we were sleepin'. And yes, the squad knows. I can tell by all the damn footprints in the snow outside." Zaraki's voice growls in my ear.

I come up with my fists flying. He catches them and it takes me a few seconds to settle down. "Sorry." I mumble.

"Scare you, did I?" he laughs.

"No. Bad dream." I sigh before rubbing my hands over my face. "Well, I guess it's time to make my appearance."

"Harmona, I'm givin' you permission to beat the shit outta anyone that bothers you. They touch you, mop the floor with em. They'll learn to leave you alone."

"Thank you. I wasn't aware I needed your permission to beat up whiny assholes though." I tease him.

"You kind of do. If you didn't have my permission and you beat the hell out of them, you'd end up in the cells for a while. Or worse, the Nest."

"Wouldn't work in the cells." I say without thinking.

"Why not?"

"I can pick locks. I had to learn how as a child when I was sent to kill someone my father hated."

"Oh, so you were your fathers pet assassin, huh? Was he too damn scared to kill em himself?"

"Pretty much."

I get to my feet and untie the robe, letting it fall back on the bed. Zaraki stares, a calculating look on his face. "I forgot somethin'." he sighs finally.

"What?"

"You don't have underwear."

"I could always snag a pair of yours." I say, half teasingly.

"You could always just come steal mine." he challenges, making me blush.

"No, thank you. You forget, I'm not fussy about clothes. I'd walk around naked if I could but I doubt that'd be a wise idea around here."

"Coward."

I glare at him. "Nothing cowardly about not wanting to embarrass you when I take your boxers and you have to use a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass to find your dick, Captain." I snap, rather meanly.

His mouth hangs open in shock for a moment before his laughter erupts. "Damn, you have a mouth on you. Nobody has ever talked to me like you do. I like it."

"Weirdo." I grumble before picking up my shihakushou and putting it on, sans undergarments. He frowns a little. "What?"

"Nothin'. You look odd in that uniform is all. Let's go eat."

"Captain...I'm sorry about what I said. That was mean." I say before turning towards the door. He catches my arm though, making me turn towards him again. His lips capture mine, hot and demanding. I give him a very canine growl before responding, my tongue invading his mouth, my body moving close to his. His hands bury themselves in my hair, preventing my escape. Not that I want to.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's respondin' to me in a good way. At this rate, I'm gunna spend a lot of time in cold showers. She moves even closer to my body and I'm done for. I break the kiss, takin' in her flushed cheeks. Her eyes open slowly. "Captain...I think we should go eat. Before one of us gets carried away." she says. She ain't foolin' me. Her voice is full of desire. I'll play her game though.

"Yeah, let's eat." I can think of somethin' else I'd rather eat right now but not til she's beggin'. Maybe she's scared of all the new feelin's. From what little bit she's said and what Shunsui said, she's never been shown any good attention like this. I'll give her time. I may be goin' nuts from all the teasin' but I can wait.

****Harmona POV****

As we get to the mess hall porch, I hesitate for a moment. Zaraki walks by me, however, and I hear the men beginning to make a lot of noise when they see him. I sigh and follow him in. It's now or never. I stand right behind him in the doorway.

"Where is she, Cap'n? It's not fair that Yumichika got to see her and we can't." someone grouches.

"I'm givin' you all a warnin'. She's been ordered to murder anyone that bothers her so if you want to keep your miserable lives, leave her alone. No touchin' or I feel sure she will kill you." Zaraki says clearly.

"Are you sleeping with her, sir?"

"No. You think I'm crazy enough to try that when she barely lets me near her?" he scoffs.

"It'll happen sooner or later, probably. I mean she only stays around him, nobody else."

"Can you imagine the captain with a woman? I mean, women are so tiny around here. He could break them with his finger let alone his pecker."

"You know that from experience, do you?" Zaraki growls. "Cause I sure don't remember fuckin' you. Musta been a terrible lay."

The men laugh loudly. I peek out around his side and they all get silent. Zaraki grabs my write and drags me forward. The men stare silently for a few moments. I cross my arms over my chest and stare defiantly.

"Well...she's a damn sight prettier than any of us, I think." Ikkaku laughs finally, breaking the tension.

"See? I've been telling you that all day." Yumichika says smartly. Zaraki brushes by me and goes to the table they're sitting at. I follow him and sit right beside him. Yumichika smiles at me. "They're not such a bad crowd, once you get used to their noise."

"Cap'n, can I double her ration, sir? She's awful puny looking." a man yells from the kitchen.

"Go right ahead but don't call her puny. She's got a mean right hook." Zaraki says, smirking a little.

Food is brought to us after a few minutes. My plate is nearly overflowing. "Uhm...Captain, I don't think I can get this all in at once." I say quietly.

"That's what she said!" Ikkaku laughs, rather drunkenly. He's been drinking more sake than eating.

"Pretty sure that's what you say too, Baldy." I snap irritably.

The men within hearing distance laugh. Zaraki smirks at me. "Just eat as much as you can. I'll eat whatever you can't."

I nod and dig in. Fried rice, peanut chicken, sushi (which I place on his plate because fish is for cats), steamed broccoli and candied plums. It's delicious, as usual. I manage to get through 3/4 of the food before I can't handle even another grain of rice. I push my plate toward Zaraki and sigh contentedly. "I think I'm going to die. I've never had a full belly before."

The men stop talking and stare. I wasn't thinking before I spoke. I didn't mean to speak out loud. Zaraki pats my head. "Good girl. You did better than I was expectin'." he says.

I get to my feet and go outside. Some of the men follow me to the porch but they give me space.

"Hey, Wolf...wanna try some sake?" one of them asks, pouring drinks for his friends.

"I've never had it before." I shrug.

"Oh! Well this is smoked plum sake. You'll probably like it. It's a little on the sweet side." he says, offering me a cup.

I take it. "Thank you...uhm..."

"Oh, just call me Maki Maki. That's what Captain Zaraki's previous lieutenant called me." he says.

"Thanks, Maki Maki." I say before drinking. I cough a little, as it burns in my chest. The men laugh and move around me. I'm on alert instantly, but I don't sense any ill intent.

"So, Wolf, now that you're a person, uhm...what's your name?" one of them asks.

"Harmona Mori." I reply, finishing the sake.

"Mori...as in Captain Mori?"

"Yes. He was my father."

"Holy shit! I never knew he had a kid. I grew up near his old family home and they used to tell us stories about him. He's not famous like Captain Zaraki though. So you're older than most of us here, including the Captain."

"Wouldn't know it to look though. If you don't mind us asking, what's going on between you and the captain?" Maki Maki asks.

"Nothing. He brought me inside during the blizzard last night and I decided not to hide anymore. My childhood wasn't good so I have trouble trusting people. It was time to try." I shrug, finishing my sake. Maki Maki fills my cup back up.

"Zaraki is a good man. He may not show it a lot but anybody can tell he's got a good heart. Crazier than a shit house rat though." another man chuckles. "Course, you might be a little crazy too."

"More than a little." I laugh. "Thank you for the sake."

The little group around me goes quiet and we just drink in companionable silence. My head feels like it's floating the more I drink. Maki Maki seems to notice. "You ok over there, Wolf?"

I give him a drunken grin. "Never better. Why does my head feel so funny? I can't hear my brain."

The men laugh loudly. "She's getting pretty buzzed. I'd cut her off before we get in trouble."

"Who's buzzed?" Zaraki asks, coming out to the porch.

"Bees go buzz. They're not fun to bite. They bite back." I giggle.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Well, that answers my question." I laugh.

"Sorry, sir. She told us she'd never drank before. I shouldn't have gave her so much." Maki Maki says, rubbin' the back of his head.

"Don't worry about it. She's an adult. She makes her own choices."

Harmona looks at me and giggles. "Wow. You're kinda cute, captain."

I roll my eyes. "And you're drunk."

"Are you like a bee? I bet you have a dangerous stinger too." she giggles again before fallin' backwards. The men lose their shit laughin'. I can't help but laugh too as I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. "You're goin' to bed. You're no use to me when you're drunk, mutt."

"Don't sting me." she mumbles.

"Captain, don't hurt her. She's a pretty cool girl." Toyoma says, eyeing her.

"Tch. Like I'd hurt a drunk woman on purpose. They're too weak to fight."

"But easy to fuck." he jabs.

My fury my show as he casts his eyes down. "I'll say this one time only. I don't force women to my bed. And I don't fuck drunk ones. I'm not a damn thug." I snarl before turnin' on my heel and carryin' her home.

"Captain...I think I'm gunna die." she says as I set her down on the edge of the bed.

"You ain't gunna die. You'll be ok." I sigh.

"I think my heart is stupid."

"Why? The hell does bein' drunk have to do with-"

"I think I'm falling in love with you." she mumbles right before passing out.

I blink a few times. A drunk mouth speaks a sober mind, so the old sayin' goes. I'm not sure how to handle that though. I get her undressed and brush the hair outta her face. "Think I am too, Wolf." I say quietly before shiftin' her around and coverin' her with the blanket. I know she won't remember what she said in the mornin'. It was nice to hear it though. I head for the shower. I need relief. Pretty sure there ain't a drop of blood left in my head. It's all down below my belt.


	6. Chapter 6

I groan when I wake up. It's still dark outside but I feel like shit. I feel a hand rub my back. A large, calloused hand....on my bare skin. What the fuck happened last night? I feel sick. I tumble over him and run to the bathroom, cursing the very name of sake. Hot tears leak down my cheeks, both from my stomach discomfort and shame. What have I done?

"The hell're you cryin' for?" Zaraki says, gently pulling my hair out of my face before sitting on the side of the bathtub.

"Please tell me we didn't-"

"No. Not even close. I don't fuck drunk women." he snarls defensively. "Plus, you'd know it if I had. If you ain't hurtin' down there, I wasn't there."

I spit as the last of my dinner exits. "How the hell does Swee drink this shit all the time?" I groan.

"Well, for starters, he doesn't drink that damn low grade sake like the men gave you. Secondly, he drinks it slow. You were practically inhalin' it so you probably drank more than you realize."

"I only had three cups."

"Tch. Arimaki says you had twelve."

"Who?"

"He probably told you to call him Maki Maki."

"Oh."

"You done?"

"I think. My stomach is starting to settle down but my shoulders ache." I grumble as my hand lifts to hit the flusher.

He stands and lifts me to my feet. "Brush your teeth. I'll get you some water. You're probably dehydrated, numbskull."

"I'll dehydrate you when I kick your ass." I snap.

He laughs. "Damn, even your mouth is off. Go on."

I start brushing as he walks away. Mint and vomit really don't mix but at least my breath will be fresh. When I'm finished, I stumble my way back to the bed and flop down taking up the whole thing. He walks back in with water and two pills of some sort. "Come on. Sit up. If you don't take these you'll regret it."

"What are they for?"

"The headache that's comin'." I sit up and when he holds them out, I retrieve them with my mouth instead of my hand. I hear him laugh a little before handing me the water. "Don't chug it or you'll puke again." he warns.

I take a few sips before handing it back. He sets it on his nightstand as I move back to my spot to sleep. "Can I ask why I'm naked?"

"Because you passed out before I could get the damn robe on you and I didn't feel like tryin' to wrestle with a woman who's body is like a wet noodle." he says as he lays down beside me.

"You didn't touch me?"

"Other than to put my arm around you, no. Now go back to sleep."

I smile a little and scoot my body up against his, my back against his belly. "Thanks for not being a creep."

"Tch. You have no fuckin' clue how hard you're makin' it not to be one." he grumbles, wrapping his arm over my side. I kiss the palm of his hand softly before laying my cheek on it.

****Kenpachi POV****

I listen to her breathin' as she falls back to sleep almost instantly. Maybe this bein' nice shit does have rewards. I press my body as close to her as I can, enjoyin' how her body fits perfectly against mine. No wonder her damn wolf is so big. She ain't small other than her weight. She's gotta be six foot tall at least. And most of that is leg. Fuck, I want them wrapped around me. I close my eyes, cursin' as my mind gives me all sorts of scenarios for fuckin' her. In the shower, different positions on the bed, against the wall, on the table. The possibilities are endless...

****Harmona POV****

I'm sitting in the office, doing paperwork. He's such an asshole. He refuses to let me spar with the men until I've gained some more weight. I don't see why in the hell it's any different from when we were fighting as a wolf except my fur helped hide how skinny I am. It's not fair! I slam another report into the outbox before throwing the pen I'm using across the office...I smile a little as it sticks in the wall. Oops. Oh well. It'll teach him to at least let me watch the sparring. I mean, he didn't say I had to do the paperwork, but what the hell else was I supposed to do? I'm not tired and I'm not wanting to help in the kitchens today.

"Captain, you seem stressed lately." I hear Ikkaku say. They seem to be close, maybe on the porch of the office, which is hidden from me.

"Probably because I am." Zaraki snaps.

"I can probably guess why. We all know for a fact you're keeping her in your house." Yumichika says slyly. "I take it you're a little...interested in her."

"Shut up, feather head."

"That's a yes. So, why not-"

"Because she says no. Apparently, she's a wolf in personality too. She told me wolves mate for life so if I fuck her, that's it. She won't want anyone else. It's been a month since she came outta her wolf form. My hand is gettin' fuckin' tired. Any other woman I'd give up on but...fuck, I want her. It's pissin' me off." Zaraki says right before there's a loud thump on the wall.

I hear one of the two men with him whistle. "Captain, are you...in love with her or something?" Ikkaku asks.

"I don't fuckin' know! I know that she's the only woman I've ever met who calls me an idiot and isn't afraid to hit me full strength. I know she doesn't get hurt when I'm fuckin' mean to her, in fact she dishes it back. I know she's got a great body, even before she started puttin' weight on so she doesn't look like a fuckin' skeleton. I know her personal smell for fuck's sake. I can't fuckin' help it."

"So why not go out in the Rukongai and find a whore to take the edge off?"

"Because, you bald prick, I don't want one! I try to think about any other woman and I go fuckin' limp as a cooked noodle!"

I fight very hard to choke back a laugh. I succeed, but barely. My whole body is shaking with the effort.

"Well, sir, that sounds to me like you might want her at least." Yumichika sighs. "But how do you really feel about her?"

"I like havin' her around. She's fun to deal with. Not only that smart mouth but she fights good too and is gettin' even better. She isn't afraid of me. She sleeps next to me in bed and sometimes she says my name in her sleep, like she's havin' a dream then she smiles."

"I'd say your wolf has a thing for you too, Captain." Ikkaku says.

"I happen to think she's very sweet. And you're right, she's got a body to die for. If you don't want her, send her my way." Yumichika laughs.

"Tch. She'd eat you alive...wonder if she's as sweet as she pretends to be. I bet you anythin' whoever she decides to be with eventually will never wanna get outta bed. Body like that, it'd be hard to resist. Specially since she sleeps naked. Damn I want those legs wrapped around me."

"Pretty sure you want something else wrapped around you too." Ikkaku snickers.

"You fuckin' idiot. Of course I want that. I wanna fuck her every way possible and then some."

I get to my feet and poke my head out of the window above them. "So what're you suggesting, Captain? Would you like me to sit on your face so you can see how sweet I am?"

All three of them get red and Zaraki looks up from where he lays. "Are you offerin'?"

"In your dreams." I snarl. "Your paperwork is done, jerk. I'm going home."

I stomp the entire way home, slamming the door when I get in. I want to cry. How in the hell can he say stuff like that if he doesn't mean it? Nobody can love me. I'm a monster! I throw myself on the bed and bury myself in the blankets. I want him. There's no way around it. I'm not alone long when the door opens and shuts again. I hear the lock click too. That's unusual.

I look down towards my feet. Zaraki leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. "Problem?" he asks.

"Men are stupid!" I blurt without thinking.

"Hey now, we're not all stupid." he chuckles.

I growl at him before heading to the bathroom and starting the shower. His words of what he wanted to do to me earlier have made me hot, my nerves singing. I'm hoping a shower will calm them. After removing my uniform, I climb in and sigh. It's a lost cause. I'm done for. I love the giant idiot. I start washing my hair, trying to figure out what to do. I could transfer to a different squad but somehow I don't think that would work. I'd gravitate back to him like a magnet. As I rinse my hair, suddenly his big hands are on my stomach, pulling my body back against his.

"I dare you to say that again, Wolf." he growls in my ear.

"You're fucking stupid! You can't love me. I'm a monster." I snarl.

"So am I." he snarls back before biting my neck. It's not hard enough to puncture the skin but it hurts. My body responds in a way I don't think is normal. I want him so bad it hurts. He kisses and licks over the spot and I know I'm done. I can't fight anymore.

"Captain, please!" I moan softly.  
"Please what?" he purrs.

"Touch me! Everywhere!"

"I thought wolves mated for life?"

"They do! But I can't keep fighting this, Captain. I want you and everyone else can die for all I care."

****Kenpachi POV****

She doesn't have to ask me twice. I wrap my arms around her, my hands takin' possession of her tits. Perfect handfuls. I tease her nipples with my thumbs as I bite her neck again, makin' her moan. I move my left hand, slidin' it down her body slowly until I reach her pussy. "Are you gunna stop me?" I ask, my lips grazing her ear.

She doesn't answer, her hand fallin' to cover mine but she doesn't move it away. She pushes on my hand, a silent plea to touch her. For her cheekiness, I slap her ass. She tightens her grip on my hand, rubbin' against me like a cat in heat. I smack her ass harder than before and she moans but releases my hand. I notice her legs spread a little wider and decide to take her by surprise. I push my fingers between her lips and find her clit. She stiffens for a minute and I think she's gunna stop me. But she doesn't. She arches her back a little, restin' her head back against my shoulder. My free hand returns to her tit as I push harder against her clit, rubbin circles around it. Her breathin' is changin' to short, ragged pants. She's close already. I continue and bite her shoulder. I'm rewarded with a loud moan and my hand is drenched suddenly. Fuck me! She's a fuckin' virgin and a squirter. She's mine. I won't let any other man experience this. No way.

"Captain...more. Please." she moans softly. And that's the nail in the fuckin' coffin.

****Harmona POV****

I never thought sex could be so...pleasurable. Why did I wait again? Oh right, the mating for life thing. My thoughts are disjointed and my brain tries to recover from the pleasure. Zaraki's hand stills as he kisses my neck, his tongue caressing a spot that makes me want more. His hands leave my body and the water shuts off soon after. "Bed. Now. Don't bother dryin' off. You'll just get wet again anyway." he growls.

I step out of the shower, stopping long enough to wipe my feet on the mat before heading for bed. Zaraki is close behind me. He catches me by surprise and throws me on the bed, my back flat on the mattress. He pulls my legs apart roughly before crouching down and pulling me to the edge of the bed. My back arches as his mouth captures my pussy, his tongue caressing me in long, hard strokes. I moan loudly when he focuses on my clit again, teasing me. My body gets that feeling of a bottle cap, the pressure building and suddenly he leaves my clit alone. "Oh fuck!" I whimper when he pushes his tongue inside me. The pressure gets worse, so much worse. Right when I feel like I'm going to explode, he backs away from me. "No! Don't stop!" I whimper.

"What's wrong, Wolf? I figured you'd want to have some real fun." he teases before pushing two of his fingers inside me. I arch like a bow string as his fingers find a spot that makes my blood boil. I can't breathe. He adds another finger. "Don't cum yet. I let you by with it in the shower since that's the first time but I won't let you get off so easy this time." he growls. How am I supposed to stop this? Simple answer....I can't. I tighten myself on his fingers and he backs them out of me, though his thumb starts rubbing my clit. I can't help it, a half scream escaping my lips as the cork in the bottle explodes. I feel it gushing out, running down my legs. "I warned you not to do that." he says, pulling his hand out. I watch as he licks his fingers before bringing his hand down and swatting my ass, though his palm hits my pussy.

"Oh fuck! Please, Captain!" I whimper as he does it again.

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me! I need you inside me! I need more! Please!" I beg.

****Kenpachi POV****

That's what I wanted. I stand and get in position. I take it slow. I'm a big man and I don't wanna kill the mood by hurtin' her too much. Fuck she feels good! She's tight and so fuckin' wet it's like silk. I stop before I get too far. "This'll hurt." I warn.

"I don't care! I need you to fuck me, Captain. Please!" she begs.

I don't hesitate. I shove inside her hard and fast, feelin' her cherry pop. She doesn't even flinch. I get to work, thrustin' in and out of her slow at first to test her.

"Harder! Please, don't hold back! I'm not a glass doll!" she growls.

I smirk. "You asked for it."

I go to it like a jackhammer. She throws her head back. "Oh fuck! Yes! You feel so good!" she moans. Yep, she ain't goin' anywhere. No woman has ever made noises of pleasure while I'm fuckin' them before. And no woman has been able to take my entire length before either.

"Still think I can't do it right?" I tease her before grabbin' her tits again.

"No! Oh god! You feel so good! Don't stop! Please don't stop!" she begs with ragged breaths.

"Fuck no, I won't stop. Not a fuckin' chance." I snarl.

A few more minutes and she clamps on me. I speed up, seein' her face flush. She's gunna blow and hard, I think. I want her to. I wanna be inside her. I wanna feel every quiver of her pussy as she cums for me. One last push and suddenly she takes me by surprise. "Kenpachi!" she screams as she explodes, her juices sprayin' me violently. I continue movin', drawin' more noise outta her as she convulses around me. Finally I lock myself deep inside her, lettin' her tight pussy milk me of every drop.

"You're mine, Wolf. You hear me? No other man is ever gunna touch you. I'll kill em." I say.

She turns her head back to me. "I would kill them if they tried...I told you, wolves mate for life."

"Good. I'll carve my name into your skin if need be so everybody knows you belong to me."

She gives me a small smile. "Won't be necessary, Captain."

"Kenpachi. You call me Kenpachi while we're alone. I like my name on your lips."

"Then you keep calling me Wolf. Harmona is dead, has been for a long time. She'll stay dead too. And buried in the Rukongai."

"Deal."

"Well then, Kenpachi...you seem to still be hard and I'm not tired yet."

I glance down. "You're bleedin'. Let's move."

She gives me a smirk. "Wherever you go, I'll go too. So lead the way."

Needless to say, we don't move any fuckin' where. I don't have the patience for it. I wanna hear her scream for me some more...

****Harmona POV****

I fall back against Zaraki's chest. It's been several hours since we started and I'm tired and hungry now. His cock is still lodged inside me, though he no longer moves. His arms wrap around me and a hand brushes the hair out of my eyes. Of course, my belly growls angrily, making him laugh. "You too, huh?"

"Mmhm."

I don't expect the bite he gives me on my shoulder as he starts moving again. His hand falls between my legs and strokes my clit, forcing a ragged gasp from me. My throat already hurts from my screams of pleasure. I squirm a little and, with one final stroke, I break one last time, pulling him with me. That was the fastest one yet. Apparently we're both so keyed up it won't take much.

"You know, it'd be easier to eat if you'd get off my lap." he teases.

"I can't move. My muscles have turned to jello thanks to you." I laugh. I groan as he pulls me off of him, wincing at the pain.

"Well, you're the only one that's made it past one round. I'm proud of you." he teases.

"You've fucked me raw. I'm not moving."

He laughs. "I'll run a bath and put some special stuff in it to help."

He does exactly what he said he was going to. It doesn't take him long and the smell of whatever he's put in the water is comforting, sort of like a coconut vanilla smell. He comes back to collect me and carry me to the bath, where he sets me down gently. I groan softly, making him laugh. "Give it time. I'll be back. Can't have you goin' in the mess hall lookin' like that. Your hair is a mess."

"I'll fix it later. Thanks for the bath." I say before laying back and letting the water cover me up to my shoulders.

"I'm gunna bring dinner back here. They were makin' pot stickers and some other stuff I noticed you like."

"Thanks. I appreciate it." I mumble, half asleep already. I'm out before he even gets to the front door.

****Kenpachi POV****

I walk into the mess hall and the men stare for a minute or two. I shake my head and grab the food before walking back out. Ikkaku follows me. "Sir, uh...what the hell happened? Did you and Wolf get in a fight?"

"No, why?"

"Well, you're covered in scratches and uh...bite marks?"

I smirk. "Oh, those. No fight."

"You got lucky, didn't you?"

"Maybe. So what if I did?"

"Well, that makes me a lot richer." he cackles.

"Huh?"

"We placed a bet after the conversation earlier on whether or not you would end up having sex with her. Almost everybody but me, Yumichika and maybe a handful of others said she was gunna maul you and leave you in the infirmary."

"Tch. As if."

"Just be careful. Last thing we need around here is another Yachiru."

Shit. I hadn't thought about that.


	7. Chapter 7

I set dinner on the table before goin' to retrieve her. She's sleepin' apparently, her nose barely above water. I put my hand on her head, hopin' not to startle her. That fails. She's on her feet, my head flyin' to the side in an instant. I rub my jaw before turnin' back to her. Her eyes are yellow. The hell? "Wolf?" She blinks a few times and the yellow bleeds back to blue. She looks at me then at her outstretched fist then looks down.

"Sorry." she mumbles.

"You got an issue with your eyes, you know."

"Least I have both of mine."

"I do too, dipshit." I say, peelin' the patch off. Her look of confusion makes me laugh as I replace it. "It's a seal. I have a little trouble controlling my reiatsu so this seal keeps it under control."

"Oh. That's useful but don't you miss using your eye?"

"It's a handicap I enjoy fightin' with. I used to wear reiastu bells in my hair too for a handicap. Anything to increase the length of a good fight."

"I see." she smiles a little.

"So, your eyes? What nasty little secret do you have?"

"A demon."

"What?"

"When I was eleven I nearly killed Yamamoto during a training session. My power, like yours, is uncontrollable. I got my zanpakuto at the age of five. Had shikai at six....and bankai at twelve. You won't see my bankai though. If you ever do, you'll see what I mean by saying I'm a monster." she says before steppin out of the tub and wrappin' a towel around herself.

"What does that have to do with your eyes?"

She sighs before starin' directly at me. "After I nearly killed him, Yamamoto decided I needed a leash for my power and he contacted one of the noble clans. They tied my soul to a demon to keep me under control. I'm a berserker, you see, and the demon is like your eye patch. It cuts off my power at a certain point unless my life is threatened. Sort of like having a limit when captains or lieutenants go to the human world."

"Come here."

"Why?"

"Still don't trust me, huh?" She growls and steps closer. I grab her head and kiss her roughly. And she fuckin' bites my lip. I pull away, grinnin' madly. "Mine. Now you don't have a fuckin' chance in hell of bein' with anyone but me."

****Harmona POV****

I stare at him, not comprehending his words. "What?"

"You belong with me, Wolf. No other man is as strong as you or can give you the battles you need. I don't give a shit about you havin' a demon in you. Other men will. I want you as you are."

"You really don't get how this mate for life thing works, do you? Unless you die, I won't go to any other man. I don't want one anyway. I happen to think you're the only man I can trust to do what'll need done sooner or later."

"What's that?"

"Kill me. This demon is one who specializes in war. His war mongering will eventually drive me crazy and I'll snap, making me a threat to the Seireitei and possibly the human world too. You'll have to kill me."

"If you say so. Don't think I'll want to though."

"Don't worry. You'll find some other idiot to cuddle with. Probably with huge boobs and nice curves. She might even tie you up and make you her sex slave. The possibilities are endless." I tease.

"Tch. I don't like huge tits and I like your curves just fine. As for tyin' me up, she'd have fun tryin'. I don't want anyone but you, you moron."

"You say that now. Wait til I get clingy and annoying." I laugh.

"You have no clue about clingy and annoyin'. You shoulda met Yachiru. She'd have had a damn field day with you."

"My mother? She didn't like me so I'm confused."

"No, my last lieutenant. She was a pink haired ball of energy I found out in the Rukongai. I named her after your mom. Your mom is the one who gave me this scar."

"I see...were you and her ever together?"

"Not like that. We had play fights every now and again."

"No sex?"

"She wasn't interested in me. She wanted a different captain." he grumbles.

"Jealous?"

"No. I got a better woman."

"How did she die?"

"Dinner is gettin' cold. Come on. We'll talk later." he says before getting to his feet and leaving the bathroom.

I dry myself off before following him to the table and sitting across from him. "So, how'd she die?"

He glares at me and refuses to answer so I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach. He's the one who killed her. That's the only explanation. I push my unease down and change the subject. "So when can I start sparring again?"

"Your next weigh in is two days from now. If you're where you should be, you can spar all the hell you want to. Just no killin'." he says, easing up.

"Aww, you're no fun. Killing is the best part of fighting. Cause then they can't bother you anymore."

"I happen to think the fight itself is the best part of fightin'. The adrenaline, the sound, the smell of blood and the rush of findin' out who's the strongest."

I stare at him. "Wow...you're really deep when you want to be."

He smirks. "I only like bein' deep when it involves you."

"Pervert."

"Only for you."

I focus on eating after rolling my eyes at him. One track mind, just like most men....course my brain is focused on him too.

"So, when are you gunna let Shunsui around you?" he asks nonchalantly.

"Why? He doesn't need to see me." I growl.

"Yes, he does. He keeps askin' to see the woman all the rumors are about but every time he gets within a mile of the barracks, you run and hide like a fuckin' coward."

"Don't. He doesn't need to see me. That's final. I'm not the girl he raised anymore. She is dead and buried." I snap.

"I doubt that very much, as touchy as you get when someone calls you a bitch. I think you buried her, sure, but she's alive and clawin' her way out of the grave."

"If she knows what's good for her, she'll stay buried. She's weak and useless and stupid."

"I doubt she's weak."

"You don't even know me or her." I grumble.

"So tell me."

"Tell me how my mother died."

"You don't need to know."

"Now who's a coward?" I say angrily.

"Stop it. This is a battle not worth fightin'."

I finish my dinner before going to wash my plate. Once that's done, I retreat to the bedroom and lay down, curling myself into a ball.

****Kenpachi POV****

Women. Can't live with em, can't live without em. I won't tell her I killed her mother for the simple fact I got a feelin' it'll push her tiny bit of sanity over the edge with no return in sight. But, I can't hide it either. She's gunna find out eventually, whether from me or someone else. I sigh and follow her to the bedroom. What I see stops me dead in my tracks. She's fuckin' cryin'. Shit.

"That ain't the kind of fluid I want makin' my bed wet." I tease her. She glares at me and wipes her eyes, her look just darin' me to say somethin'. "The hell you want me to say, woman? Life ain't all rainbows and sunshine. I don't have words to comfort you."

"No, really? Here I thought you were some pathetic ass man who begs for forgiveness and kisses his woman's feet in submission." she snaps sarcastically.

I cross the room and pull her up, gettin' nose to nose with her. She's pissed. However, she startles me, kissin' me urgently. Oh yeah, she's mine alright. Angry sex is somethin' I specialize in...

****Harmona POV****

I lay trying to catch my breath beside Zaraki. His arms pull me against his body, holding me hostage. He refuses to pull out of me, though we're both thoroughly wore out. It's after midnight, judging by the moon outside. His hand strokes my hair softly. "You done bein' a grouch now, you needy thing?" he teases softly.

I kick his shin. "Nope. Not ever going to happen. I'm mean."

"I can see that." he chuckles before kissing me.

"I need to kill him." I say after a few moments of silence.

"Who?"

"My father."

"You already did. Shunsui told me his heart and throat were ripped out the same day you disappeared."

"It was a doll. I have to find him and kill him, Kenpachi. I need to."

"Then do it. I won't stop you. Follow your instincts. Hell, I'll sit and watch if you want."

I rest my forehead against his. "It'll be bloody. I'm going to hurt him all the ways he used to hurt me."

"All the more reason for me to watch."

I open an eye, meeting his. "What?"

"To see exactly what he did so I know exactly what you went through as a kid so I can get you past it."

"I told you I killed her and buried her. I'm past it. I just want to kill him for fun."

"I smell bullshit. You want revenge."

"Maybe a little."

"I got a captain's meetin' in the morning. Come with me. That's an order."

"Fuck you!" I growl.

"Pretty sure I've been fuckin' you most of the night. You're comin', that's final."

I punch him in the chest before pulling myself off of him and rolling over. "Fine, you ass."

He laughs and pulls me back against him. "One of these days, woman, you'll learn to control that temper a little."

"Fuck no. Then I'll be boring."

"True."

"You know, you're a real jerk sometimes."

"You like it."

I refuse to respond to that. Instead, I close my eyes and let sleep wash over me.

****Kenpachi POV****

"No!"  
I crack an eye open. She's rolled away from me. Somethin's wrong. She's cryin' in her sleep and the coppery smell of blood is in the air. I open my eye completely. Damn it! Her nails are dug deep into her arms, the blood seepin' out slowly. She shakes her head violently and tears her nails down to her elbows suddenly, blood now pourin' down her arms and into the bed. I think fast, rollin' my body over hers and grabbin' her hands. "Stop it!"  
She doesn't wake up, just wraps her legs around my hips and struggles to free her arms. I glance out the window. The sky is startin' to lighten up. Too early for this shit. She manages to get a hand free and grab my ear, pullin' on it. "Ow, you bitch! Stop it!" I snarl. And what does she do? She slaps me as hard as she can. That wakes her up.

"Ow! Why is my hand on fire!?" she yells, bringin' it to her face and blowin' on it. She notices me finally and gets a weird look on her face. "Really? I'm asleep and you're trying to fuck me, huh? Pervert."

"I was not, you fuckin' brat. Look at your damn arms. I was tryin' you stop you from hurtin' yourself." I snap.

She looks down. "Oh...sorry."

"The hell were you dreamin' about?"

"My demon was trying to convince me to kill you. That's what Yamamoto always wanted for me. He wanted me to take the title of Kenpachi but I never wanted that. My demon says I should want it and to hell with you. I don't want the title and I sure as hell don't want to be a captain. Too much paperwork."

I smirk. "That's what underlings are for anyway."

"True....you know, sir, you smell really good right now. I think we should skip this stupid meeting, especially since I'm not a captain, and stay in bed where it's warm all day."

"Much as I'd love to keep your legs around me all day, this is a mandatory meetin'."

"About what?"

"You, if you must know. That's why I ordered you to come with me so you can speak for yourself."

"What!? Why is it about me?"

"You didn't read the paper sittin' on my desk while you were doin' paperwork yesterday?"

"No."

"Several captains are sayin' they don't think a woman is safe in my barracks, especially one like you who's half feral and refuses to come out of the barracks. It's been a month and nobody outside the squad has seen you."

"Not my problem."

"There's a nasty rumor that I'm keepin' you chained to a wall here in my quarters and rape you whenever I feel like it."

The fuckin' brat smirks. "You can chain me up any time, but I'm positive you aren't raping me. Plus, we just started having sex yesterday so when did the rumor start?"

"Three weeks ago."

"They're just now calling a meeting? Slow bastards."

***Harmona POV***

He shakes his head and rolls off me. "You don't seem to understand. They want you outta here, Wolf."

"Fuck em. I'm perfectly fine right where I'm at." I growl, snuggling up to his side and placing a possessive arm over him. "I'd make anyone else's life a living hell."

"Yeah, probably. You'd end up in the Nest most likely for pickin' fights."

"Yep. I mumble before yawning. "Kenpachi...what happens if they do take me away? Will you miss me?"

"Tch. They ain't takin' you anywhere. I'll kill anybody that tries. You belong to me. That's final." he grumbles, tightening his arm so I'm crushed against his side. This makes me smile a little, though I don't trust his words. Nobody can love a monster like me. Not even another monster...

"Wolf, wake up. Time to go. Get your uniform on."

I groan and roll over, burying myself under the blanket and pillows. "No."

My ass is on fire suddenly as he smacks it, causing me to spring out of bed. His laugh makes me punch his shoulder. "Teach you to tell me no." he chuckles.

"I'm going naked."

"No you're not. Get your uniform on. Now." he says flatly, daring me to argue.

I resist for a moment before giving in and pulling a uniform on, accidentally knocking a small box to the floor. It makes a jingle noise. I pick it up and shake the box but it's silent this time. Zaraki laughs at my confused expression. "My reiatsu bells. Forgot where I put them." I open the lid and take one out, shaking it. It's silent so I raise my reiastu a bit and repeat the action. The jingle noise makes me smile. "Come on, Wolf. You can play with em later."

I put the box back in the closet and sigh. "Are you sure I have to go? I mean for crying out loud, I can't think of a safer place for me than here in this squad since it's full of the strongest fighters in the Soul Society."

"Yeah but it's all males and they apparently think your honor is at stake."

"A day too late for that." I laugh.

"Come on." he says, turning and leaving the room.

I follow at his side, silently, hesitating at the gate. He doesn't wait, so I follow him. This is going to be bad. The few people we meet stop to stare as we make our way to the Squad 1 meeting hall. I'm tempted to grab his hand, needing to feel comforted, but I know I can't. He's not the type of person to walk around holding hands and looking sappy. I stare straight ahead, ignoring everyone and taking a deep breath. There's no reason to fear. These people are beneath me. I could kill them easily. I am the top predator here, Zaraki not counted. An apex predator in a flock of sheep. I keep up my silent pep talk until we reach the meeting room. "Wait here." Zaraki orders before stepping inside.

"So...you're the wolf, huh?" Someone says behind me.

"What's it to you?" I snap without turning around.

"Bout as friendly as a porcupine, aren't you." the speaker laughs.

I turn and there stand all the lieutenants, Ikkaku included. He gives me a nod and I manage to calm down a little. Until they surround me. The one who spoke earlier holds his hand out. He has red hair and tattoos on his face above his eyebrows. "Renji Abarai, squad six lieutenant. And you are?"

"Gunna pummel your fucking face in if you touch me." I snarl.

"I'd back away from her, if I were you. She doesn't like being crowded and really hates being touched." Ikkaku says from his spot on the railing a few feet away.

"You all forget she's feral. She'd probably be one hell of a fight and won't stop til you're dead." A man with short spiky black hair and a 69 tattooed on his cheek says. "I'm Shuhei Hisagi, lieutenant of squad nine. Also head editor of the Seireitei Bulletin."

"Wow, what gorgeous hair. I'm Rangiku Matsumoto, squad ten lieutenant." a busty strawberry blond woman says, giving me a smile.

"I'm Momo Hinamori, lieutenant of squad five." a short, mousy looking brown haired woman says.

"Izuru Kira, squad three." a gloomy looking blond says. 

"Marechiyo Omaeda. Squad two." a fat blob of a man with very little black hair says.

"Fourth division, Kiyone Kotetsu at your service." a short childish looking blond says.

"Twelfth division, as you already know, Akon." A black haired, horned man says.

"I'd say nice to meet you but that would imply we're going to be friends. Now, back off." I snarl, raising my reiatsu a bit.

"Such a pretty woman shouldn't talk that way. If you had any sense, you'd bow down before us, especially me since I'm a noble. If you do that, I'd be willing to make you my wife, as pretty as you are." the blob says.

****Kenpachi POV****

Everyone stares at the door. Even I can feel her. I grin. "Apparently the lieutenants have arrived. If any of you want them left alive, go fetch em. I won't stop her from kickin' their ass." I say.

"Why don't you go bring her-"

There's lot of yelling outside. I hear Ikkaku laughin' though he's tryin' to get her to settle down by the sound of things. I throw the doors open and laugh too. She's got Renji by the throat and throws him over the balcony railin'. He'll be fine, knowin' that idiot. The rest of them except Ikkaku, Matsumoto and that little squad five mouse are in a bloody heap. "Wolf, I ain't gunna be able to keep em from lockin' you up if you don't settle the hell down."

She has the decency to look a little sorry before comin' to a heel in front of me. "They started it."

"They didn't listen, Cap'n. I told them to give her space and the idiots crowded her. Then Omaeda made a pass out her and she got pissed." Ikkaku says.

"Get your asses in here, all of ya. Wolf, you park your ass right in front of me." I order.

"Yes, captain."

I return to my spot in the line up and stand in front of Zaraki, though I face Shunsui's desk. He stares at me in disbelief. "Your record states you died." he says quietly.

"The girl you knew and loved is dead. She was a weak and stupid coward, sir. I killed her and buried her that day two hundred years ago." she says defiantly.

"Harmona-"

"I told you that bitch is dead, Shunsui."

He stares in shock. Then his face falls into a serious one. "You will mind your manners. I am Captain Commander Shunsui Kyouraku."

"And? I'm supposed to bow down, kiss your ass and beg forgiveness? From the man who read me bedtime stories and spoiled me with milk and cookies nearly every night? I think not."

Shunsui grins. "You got really mouthy somewhere along the way."

"My captain says I'm mouthy too." she laughs a little, the tension breaking. I understand. It was a bluff to see what he'd do.

"Harmona, we've brought you here because there's been rumors floating around and many of the captains feel that squad eleven isn't a good place for you."

"Is this the child my grandfather tried to adopt?" Kuchiki asks.

"Yes, this is her."

"Why...nevermind. It's not my place to-" Rukia starts, then blushes and stops.

"Many of the captains tried to adopt her. Her father was an abusive prick if I remember correctly." Kensei grunts. "Never did like Mori."

"Not many did." Wolf says.

"So...you go missing for two hundred years and Zaraki catches you. Then you spend two more years as a wolf before showing your true form. Then when you do, you spend a month avoiding everyone not in your squad. Why is that? I see some bruises there on your neck. Were you training or...is Zaraki into beastiality?" Shinji asks. I glare at him.

"How bout none of your business, you half breed bastard." she snaps.

"Excuse me? There's five of us here that you'd call half breeds, you mongrel." Lisa snaps, steppin' out of line.

"I'd be happy to solve your infestation, head captain."

"You can't compete with lieutenant and captain level officers." Toshiro sighs. "This is giving me a headache."

"Kenpachi, what's going on between you two?" Shunsui asks.

"She's my fourth seat officer startin' today. She could be higher rank but she hasn't beat Ikkaku yet." I answer, seein' her glance at me.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Nothin' is goin' on. I treat her as an equal and earned her loyalty by doin' that. I don't treat her like shit like her father did and I actually enjoy havin' her around since she gives me good fights."

"So, those bruises aren't bite marks? They happen to look like them." Kurotsuchi laughs.

"So what if they are?" she snaps. "What the hell does what happens to me have to do with any of you other captains?"

"The safety of our troops is a high concern, Harmona."

"Oh really. That's new since that old bald bastard died, isn't it?"

Shit. Now she's touched a nerve. The other captains glare at her. "See? She's already learning bad manners and disrespect under Zaraki's care." Soi Fon says darkly.

"No, let me tell you a little story about your previous head captain. He thought it was a great idea for two captains to breed. That child, me, was raised by her abusive father. Daily beatings from the age of a year, starvation, stabbings, refusal of shelter from the weather. I was even so lucky to have my sandals nailed to my feet at the tender age of six, prompting my zanpakuto to manifest the first time. All of this sanctioned by Yamamoto."

The others pale. I see Isane wipe her eye. "Why though?" she says.

"Because he wanted a weapon to trump all other weapons against the Quincy invaders two hundred years ago. The object was to drive me completely bat shit crazy then lock me in the Muken until such time as I was needed. Your current head captain is what kept me from going crazy."

"What mother would let her child be raised in such a way?" Toshiro asks.

"Captain Retsu Unohana. That's who. Not that it's any of your business, runt."

"Harmona, easy." Shunsui sighs.

"I, for one, think she needs to be separated from him." Soi Fon says clearly. "Zaraki has no business around women."

"Why's that?" I ask before Wolf can snap.

"I'm sure you're aware of the rumors, Captain Zaraki. You have no place around women." Kuchiki says.

"What rumors?" Rukia asks.

"Zaraki here isn't known for being gentle, first off. In fact, judging by the latest rumors, it looks like he's struck again. He's not known for having willing partners." Lisa snorts.

"If you nosy bastards really must know, I was more than willing to mate with my captain and I loved it. Seems to me like you are all jealous that you can't get laid and be satisfied." Harmona snaps.

"That's why I brought her here. So she can speak for herself." I grumble.

"He didn't force you?" Isane asks.

"No. You know, growing up, there was quite a few men who tried to rape me. Funny thing, they all ended up headless. If you think I can't do that to captain Zaraki, you don't know me very well. I'm with my captain by my own choice. And if you try to remove me from squad eleven, I will burn the Seireitei to the ground."

"You and what army?" Kensei snaps.

"If you're lucky, you'll never see my army. Captain, may I leave now? I have better things to do than listen to idiotic rambling all day." she asks, turnin' to me.

"Ain't up to me, Wolf." I smirk.

"Harmona, if you're positive this is what you want, then you have my blessing." Shunsui says. "However, I don't think you've told her everything you should have, Zaraki."

She looks at me then glares at him. "I don't care. I'm with him. I'm happy. He gives me what I need so I don't go absolutely insane. Fighting makes me happy. It grounds me when everything is bothering me. Alright? If you remove me from his care, it won't be long til I go crazy. Wolves mate for life, Shunsui."

His eyebrows shoot up. "Harmona...are you saying what I think you are?"

She nods. I don't understand. "The hell did she say?"

"You need to tell him. And you need to tell her some things." Shunsui sighs. "Harmona...I don't like this. I don't want to see you hurt again. I'll come visit you two later. Dismissed."

She's gone in a flash, leavin' me to follow. What the hell happened just now?


	8. Chapter 8

I feel Zaraki behind me and slow down to let him catch up. I don't want to tell him anything but I guess Shunsui has a point. Zaraki deserves to know exactly what I've done. I have a second of doubt, thinking back to what Shunsui said about him not telling me everything either. I think I know what it is and, if it's true, I really don't want to know.

"Cap'n, I personally think fourth seat is perfect for her." I hear Ikkaku say.

"Not like your input is needed, Baldy." Zaraki grumbles. "Wolf, slow down."

I come to a stop and wait on him. "Sorry for my rudeness, Captain."

"Did you see Captain Kuchiki's face!? That was hilarious! I don't think he's ever heard a woman speak like that before." Ikkaku cackles.

"Probably not." Zaraki agrees. "Let's get you fed, Wolf. Then you're supposed to go to squad four so Isane can do your check up."

"I'd rather let you do my check up. Naked." I tease.

"I don't need to know." Ikkaku groans.

"I like it hard and fast and rough. I don't think anyone else could fuck me so good."

"Wolf, shut the hell up, will ya? Tryin' to walk here." Zaraki growls.

I laugh. "Aww, I'm sorry, sir. Didn't mean to give you a hard time."

"You fuckin' brat!"

I run for it, laughing madly. I hear him behind me but I screech to a halt suddenly and veer to the left. I stop near the academy, watching silently. Zaraki stops next to me. There's little ones here, ten and below, though only one is in a student uniform. I tilt my head and Zaraki stays still as I walk to the little group once the student leaves. Several of the youngest are crying. I crouch down. "Don't worry. They'll come back." I say sweetly.

"But without Shino, we're lonely. He's our leader."

I smile. "Don't worry. You'll be ok. Where did you come from?"

"District seventeen. It's not so bad there but sometimes it's hard to find food."

I stand and hold my hand out. "Here, let me show you a trick."

"All of us?" a girl looking to be around the age of seven says.

"Yes, all of you. Come on."

"Wolf, the hell're you doin'? You got a physical to go to, woman." Zaraki growls.

"Later. I won't leave kids to starve. That's final." I snap before leading the kids away. I hear Zaraki tell Ikkaku to go home before I hear his footsteps behind my little flock. "I don't need your help, Captain." I say over my shoulder.

"Tch. I ain't comin' to help. I'm comin' cause I'm bored. Gimme a damn break." he grouches.

"Hey, that's captain Zaraki isn't it?" the little boy who's got my hand asks.

"Yep, that's Captain Zaraki. Don't worry, he's not so bad." I laugh.

"Don't be sayin' shit like that. I'm the meanest captain there is." he growls.

"He's full of crap too."

The kids laugh, though I hear Zaraki grumbling under his breath.

***Kenpachi POV***

I watch her with the kids. She's like a completely different person. It's kind of creepy how she can go from a complete smart ass nut job to a sweet big sister in the blink of an eye. Really, I'm only followin' along to see her behavior. I hate to say it but I'm studyin' her a bit. I think, deep down, she's still very much a kid herself and that's why she relates to em so easily. Hell, first time she saw Renji's kid, even though she was a wolf, she completely went goo goo eyed and, gentle as could be, laid her head on the munchkin's lap and took all the beatin' that kid gave her without battin' an eye. I just hope she doesn't want kids. I have better things to do than change shitty diapers all day.

***Harmona POV***

I let the kids lead me to where they live. There's two adults there who smile at us, though it doesn't reach their eyes. I ignore that and find a long stick before sitting on the edge of the stream behind their home. The kids watch me as I use Okami to sharpen the stick. This brings back memories. I used to go fishing sometimes as a kid but Shunsui and Jushiro were always with me. The thought makes me sad for a moment. When the end is sharpened to a point, I take the youngest boy with me, helping him roll the legs of his hakama up above his knees, before having him step into the stream. "Hold still, like a rock." I command him quietly, putting my hands over his on the stick. "Wait. Hold as still as you can."

"What're we waiting for?" he asks in a whisper.

"See the fish over there? I'm going to help you catch him so you'll never be hungry."

"Really!?"

"Shh. Yes. You have to be patient though."

I notice even Zaraki is watching me. He has a weird look on his face. I'm not sure I like it.

***Kenpachi POV***

I watch her and the runt in the stream. She hates fish...this must be why. This is how she survived so long as a wolf when she first ran off, I bet. I wonder how in the hell she stayed alone so long. I mean sure, she's got her zanpakutou but even so, people need contact from other people. Her resilience is pretty impressive. It's sad too. Kids deserve to be kids, not scared to come home at night or that today will be the last day they see. I think she puts on this mask of bein' sarcastic and mean so she pushes everyone away from her. That way, she won't have anybody close enough to hurt her. So why let me get close? It makes no sense.

***Harmona POV***

"Now!" I say, moving the spear and stabbing the fish with it. My new friend laughs delightedly and I release his hands so he can lift the fish from the water. His family is thrilled. "Good job. Now, you'll have to show everyone how to be a rock that fishes."

"Thank you!" the boy says before throwing his free arm around me. The hug catches me by surprise but I pat his head gently. "Go on now. I'm sure the two ladies you live with can show you how to cook it."

The kids run screaming, my little friend leading the herd. Zaraki stares at me. "What?"

"I think you got a huge fuckin' soft spot." he says before turning. "Come on. You need to go get looked at."

"Did I upset you?"

"No, just thinkin'."

"Oh, so that's where the smoke's coming from." I tease.

"Brat."

I lead him back to the Seireitei, knowing full well how easily he gets lost.

"Go to your check up. That's an order. Then come right the hell back here, woman." Zaraki growls when we get in sight of the barracks.

"Yes, sir." I say, turning to head to squad 4. However, he catches my arm and pulls me back to him. "What-" His lips are on mine, hot, demanding...mine. People are staring. I don't care. When he finally comes back up for air, he smirks at me.

"Get outta here, mutt. Go give Isane hell." he orders before turning his back on me...

***Squad 4 - Office***

"Well...other than being a little underweight still, and bruised in various places you shouldn't have bruises, you're healthy." Kotetsu says. "Now, uhm...birth control. You need to be-"

"Okami will tell me when I'm in heat. Don't worry."

"Uhm...ok. If you're sure....uhm...look, are you positive you're safe with Kenpachi? There's so many rumors that he rapes women I just worry about you, especially seeing these marks."

I sigh. "I have a pain addiction. Zaraki and I just started being intimate yesterday. I enjoy it rough. It helps."

She blinks at me. "Pain helps? Helps what?"

"Helps me cope with my fucked up past. When pain is all you grow up knowing, it becomes a security blanket or a drug. You know it's bad to have it, but you can't stop yourself. You need it. Zaraki takes it and turns the pain to pleasure. Who knows, maybe if he stays with me long enough I won't need the pain anymore."

She frowns. "That's not healthy."

"Yeah, I know, but I can't help it." I say, sliding off the table.

"Harmona, don't get attached to him. Kenpachi isn't the type to love anyone and is probably just using you to satisfy his sexual urges."

"I know." I sigh. "If he leaves, which he will eventually, there won't be anyone else. Wolves mate for life. Until he dies, I don't want anyone else. Hell, even if he did, I wouldn't. He's the only one to ever treat me as an equal."

She nods reluctantly. "Alright. Just please, be careful."

""I will, no worries."

I leave and head home. She confirmed my suspicions. He's a man who forms no attachments. Good. It won't hurt so much when he gets tired of me. It'll happen. It always does...

****Kenpachi POV - Squad Office****

I sign the last of the damn papers promotin' her to fourth seat and sigh irritably. Paperwork is fuckin' borin'. I refuse to do the rest. I break out a bottle of sake I keep stashed in my desk and take a deep drink. Ikkaku looks up from his desk. "Something wrong, sir?"

"Not a damn thing. You know I hate paperwork but if I don't do it, she doesn't get her fourth seat position. And she needs to be seated. Makes it harder for them to remove her."

"Sir, are you getting attached to her?"

"No. But she belongs here. I put all the work into tamin' her enough to come out of that wolf form. And she fights me good enough to keep me entertained. She ain't leavin' this squad. Over my dead body."

Ikkaku chuckles. "That sounds so convincing that you aren't attached to her." he says, drippin' sarcasm.

"Shut the hell up."

"It's good. Any other woman wouldn't be worth it, sir. But she fits in here real good. The men respect her. In fact, quite a few of them have said they see her as a little sister."

"Speakin' of sisters, yours has requested to join the squad again."

"Not no, hell no! She won't fit in. She's a total brat!"

I chuckle. "I figured. She's funny though." My attention goes to the clock. Where the fuck did Wolf go? It's been four hours. It's almost dinner time. She shoulda been back by now. I got a bad feelin' in my gut. I know she's fine, but I don't trust her in a crowd. She panics too easily in a crowd and attacks anyone who blocks her from escapin'. Just like a wild animal. I decide to give her a little longer. Maybe she got sidetracked shoppin' or somethin'. I mean, she is a woman so surely she likes doin' shit women like.

****Harmona POV****

"I kicked your ass earlier and you want me to come have drinks with you? Are you stupid?" I ask.

"No, and I feel the need to remind you that you're talking to a lieuten-"

"Renji...I don't give a flying rats ass that you're higher ranked than me." I say flatly.

"Look, my captain filled me in on what happened at the meeting and I feel like maybe you should be shown that not everyone is bad. All of us Rukongai rats had bad upbringing and we turned out ok. I just thought maybe you'd like to come and get to know a few of us and have some sake."

I think about it for a minute. I really should get home but maybe he's right. Zaraki has shown me that not everyone is bad, no matter how intimidating they look. "Alright, I'll come along with you. Just know if something happens to me, Captain Zaraki is gunna kill the one responsible."

He looks shocked. "Why would he?"

"Because he happens to be my fuck buddy at the moment."

Renji looks pale and swallows. "I don't need to know. Come on. I'm supposed to meet everyone in our favorite bar."

I follow him silently as he leads me to the market district and, finally, a bar. It's noisy in here. I see Renji bend down and gently kiss the captain of squad 13's head. She looks surprised that I'm in tow with him so I make my way to the corner behind the table and sit. There's room between the people at the table and me. Everyone is giving me nervous glances...except Yumichika.

"You're socializing? Are you sick?" he teases me.

"Bite me." I growl. He just chuckles and moves to sit beside me.

All the lieutenants I beat up earlier are here, plus Captain Kuchiki of squad 13 and Shunsui. Shunsui moves to sit on my other side. "You ok?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Renji said something that made sense. I've hated people for too long, lumping them all together with my father. It's time for me to try to relax a little." I reply simply.

"Then by all means, have a drink." Rangiku says pleasantly, tossing a corked bottle at me. I hope it's better than that stuff Maki Maki gave me...

****Kenpachi POV****

"I'll be back later. I'm gunna go find Wolf." I grumble at Ikkaku before gettin' to my feet.

"Yumichika is at the bar with the others. You might check in and see if he's seen her possibly." he replies. "I'll go get the men settled for the night. Noisy bastards."

"Fine."

I head out into the Seireitei, knowin' where the bar is by heart as many times as I've been out drinkin' with the men. I take one look in the door and smirk. Shunsui's here so he won't let anythin' happen to her but she's plastered. Like a bull in a china shop, tryin' to get to her feet, she falls on her face. "Owie!"

I step in. "The hell'd you do to my woman?" I ask clearly, makin' the place go silent.

"She drank too much, Captain." Yumichika giggles. "She really likes you. She kept saying she should go home and cuddle you or you'd get cranky."

I roll my eyes and cross the room, rollin' her over with my foot gently. "Hey, come on, mutt. You need to go home and get in bed so you ain't causin' trouble."

"Don't wanna." she says before crossin' her arms and poutin'.

"Am I givin' you a choice?"

"Make me. I ish perfectly fine right heres. Theres....where am I?"

I laugh and pick her up. "In trouble is where you are, smart ass."

"I like your ass better. I wanna smack it."

"Captain Zaraki, I apologize. I'm the one that invited her and kept her out. I thought maybe she might like to see that not everyone is bad." Renji says sheepishly. "I didn't realize she likes sake too much."

"Don't worry about it. She needed to get out for a while. No harm done." I say before turnin' and headin' out. "Yumichika, I ain't comin' back for you so you better find another way home if you get drunk."

As we step outside, Harmona snuggles into my chest. "Why you come looking for me?"

"I don't trust you not to get in trouble."

"I not trouble. Peoples is trouble. Bein' a animal is so mush shimpler. No talkin' ta make shomone else hurts. When ya talk, people gets hurt....thasss why daddy always told me ta shut up. He was a mean man but shmart."

"Your dad was a fuckin' asshole."

"He wash right though. Loving shomone makesh you weak and gives you a big target so everyone knowsh where to hitcha. I no wanna make you weak, Pachi. I's bad to have around. Shoon everyone ish gunna know you gots a fing for me and they'll use me to hurts you."

"Tch. As if. I'd have to love you for them to use you to hurt me. Irritate me maybe."

"Ishane wash right."

"About what?"

"You'll never love me. All you love ish fighting. You'll get tired of me and leave once you has enough sex from me."

I stop dead in my tracks. "She said that?"

"Mmhm. I dunno why it bovers me so mush. Nobody has ever loved me before, so why should you?"

That's a good question. One I refuse to answer. I don't know what love is. I know what lust is and I know damn good and well I'm in lust with her. It'd be hard to not be. She's beautiful, strong and doesn't take shit from anybody. When I think about her, my heart beats a little faster and my cock springs to attention. However, I did feel worried earlier when she didn't come home. I continue walkin' til we get home.

I set her on the bed and hold her head. She grins at me. "You so sexy, Pachi. I love looking at you. And you smell just like my mommy did. Like blood and steel...but you also smell like a big oak tree. I thinks I love you."

"No you don't." I say quietly. "You're just with me because you don't know any better."

Her face falls. "See? Words hurt. No more talky tonight, Pachi." She moves, leavin' her uniform on and puttin' her back to the wall before closin' her eyes. "Maybe you'll get lucky and I'll die in my sleep. You deserve better than me. I just a wild animal. Love ish stupid. It gives someone all the power in the world to hurt you."

"You idiot." I sigh before strippin' down to just my boxers and climbin' in bed. I can tell she's sleepin' already, since her breathin' is even. I put my hand to her cheek. "I can't tell you I love you because I haven't told you what happened to your mom. I can't tell you because I don't want you to hate me and go back to bein' a wolf. I don't want you to be a wolf because I made a promise to your mom." I say quietly. "But I think I am fallin' in love with you."

Fuck this shit. Feelin's are for idiots! I've said it to the men plenty of times...but damn if I didn't catch em.


	9. Chapter 9

****Harmona - Dream****

I wander into Shunsui's office. It's dinner time and daddy isn't paying attention to where I'm at. Shunsui is at his desk, reading through some papers. He doesn't notice me so I climb my way into his lap and read the paper with him. "Hey, kiddo. You don't have to read this, if you don't want to. Jushiro brought some more books for you." he says.

I shake my head and continue reading his papers. He's spent two years teaching me to read, with Jushiro's help. And Jushiro has been teaching me to write. I'm very good at it and only make a mistake every now and then. He always praises me and gives me candy when I do really good. Shunsui gives me milk and cookies though and I like that better. I still won't let him touch me, except to hold my hand to show me how to write a word. I see how sad this makes him but I just can't. Hands bring pain.

"Good evening, Shunsui. I brought...well hello, Harmona, dear. I've brought some toys I thought you might play with. And crayons and paper to color, if you want." Jushiro says, smiling at me sweetly.

I return his smile. He's always spoiling me. Why though? I slide out of Shunsui's lap and start making a castle with the blocks Jushiro brought. He helps me a little, handing me ones that're out of my reach. "You're such a smart girl. Did you have a good day today?"

I hesitate then shake my head. No, I'd killed someone for daddy earlier. The lady was asleep. Daddy had told me to kill her because she was going to try to tell lies about him and get him in trouble. She'd smelled funny. Okami told me after I'd already killed her that she was heavily drunk on something called sake. Daddy drinks sake. So does Shunsui but Shunsui's sake smells sweet. Daddy's is nasty smelling.

"What happened? Did Mori hurt you again?" Shunsui's voice is sharp. It only gets like that where daddy is involved. I shake my head no and draw a finger across my throat quickly.

"What?"

I take a crayon and piece of paper and write down what happened before handing it to Jushiro. He pales. "He told you to kill a woman?"

I nod.

"Did you?"

I nod again.

"Harmona, honey, don't do that anymore, please. He has no authority to have you kill anyone. You're so young. I know you don't understand and you're trying to keep him from hurting you but killing is wrong, sweetheart."

I hang my head. I already knew that. "I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Did you just talk?" Shunsui asks.

"Sorry." I say with a flinch.

Jushiro pulls me into his arms. "Oh, my sweet girl. Don't be sorry. Mori should be sorry. You're a good girl. We love you so much." he says as I cry on his shoulder. I let him hold me. "Thank you for speaking. That makes it easier to talk to you."

"Daddy says it's bad. He hits me in the mouth if I speak in front of him." I say quietly. "I'm a bad girl. Daddy hates me. He's always hurting me for being bad. Why am I not a good girl, Uki? I don't wanna be bad. Daddy says I'm evil."

Jushiro stiffens and I hear Shunsui curse. "Harmona, you're not evil and you're not bad. Jushiro, I'm going to Yamma. Right now. You coming with me?"

"What about her?"

"Harmona, let's go for a walk."

I get to my feet and grab Shunsui's hand. "No. I'll be ok. Please, don't tell Yamma. He scares me."

Shunsui looks torn but finally backs down. "Alright. But you have to come here every night, ok? You stay here, in the office, with me. Every night. That way I know you're safe. If I'm not here, you go to Jushiro's office, ok?"

I nod. "Can I have a cookie now?"

Shunsui hugs me. I've only let him one time, two years ago. Any other time, I'd bitten, hit, kicked or scratched him to get away. "You can have all the cookies you want."

****Harmona - Awake****

I open my eyes in the dark as I feel his hand on my cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears. I slide myself closer to him, needing to feel his body close to mine. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"We need to talk, Wolf. You're already upset so now's the best time to do it. I killed your mother. Eleven years ago. I had to in order to save a lot of lives. Before I did that, I didn't have shikai or bankai." he sighs. "I was layin' here, watchin' you sleep and listenin' to you. You didn't wake me."

I sigh. "I figured as much. The title only passes to the one who kills the original."

"Now, Shunsui said you have somethin' to tell me. Out with it."

I hesitate. "I never knew what Okami meant when he said the man I give my innocence to will be part of me forever. He forged a soul chain between us last night. I'll always be able to find you. Always be able to feel it when you're hurt. I don't know if it works both ways. I didn't know this was going to happen or I never-"

He puts a finger against my lips. "I don't regret it. A soul chain, so what? Big deal. Just gives me another hook in you so you can't get away easily."

"It's your coward ass that'll run eventually." I snap.

"Doubt it."

"I don't. Everybody always runs from blood thirsty monsters."

He kisses me, biting my lip teasingly. I feel his body responding, just like mine is. I return his kiss, moaning softly as his tongue plays with mine. I reach down and caress him through his boxers before putting my hand down in them. How the hell did this fit in me? It's too thick to get my fingers to touch when they wrap around it and I'm pretty sure he could use it for a kickstand. I stroke him a few times until he stops me, pushing my shoulder until I'm laying on my back. I feel his hands begin to untie my obi then, with an irritated growl, he simply resorts to tearing my shihakushou off of me. His mouth hasn't left mine, his kiss becoming more urgent. I have to pull away, needing the air.

Zaraki growls at me, sending chills down my spine. He licks along my jaw before trailing his tongue down my neck. He bites me, adding to the collection of bruises I'm sure. I could have Okami heal them but I'm not ashamed of letting him mark me. His mouth trails lower, biting every now and again until he reaches my breast. He circles his tongue around my nipple, teasing it before latching on and sucking. A soft moan escapes my lips and I bury my hands in his hair, holding him to me. His hand glades down my side and stops between my legs. His head lifts and I see the lust and madness glazing his eye. He watches my face as he slides his finger inside me. My back arches, a loud gasp escaping me, as he finds a spot inside me. "You're so wet. So ready. You don't enjoy this, do you?" he chuckles softly before latching onto my other breast.

"Yes! I'm going to....Kenpachi, please! I can't..." I bite my lip, trying hard to fight against the pleasure. I don't want to cum too quickly but it's going to happen. His head lifts again.

"What's wrong, Wolf? Would you rather get off on somethin' else?" he purrs.

"Yes! Please! Kenpachi, please!"

"Please what? Ask me nicely before you cum and I might give you what you want."

"Please, fuck me! Please! I want you inside me when I-"

He removes his finger, offering it to me. "I want you to see how sweet you taste, Wolf."

I part my lips, letting him put his finger in my mouth. I suck on it teasingly, caressing it with my tongue. He pulls it out before I can get too imaginative. "Kenpachi...lay down." I order softly.

"Why? And who the hell said you can give me orders, woman?"

I snarl and move quickly, shoving him off me to the side. Before he can move, I shred his boxers, freeing his erection. This is what I want. "You want sweet, huh? I'll give you sweet." I tease him. "Move your pillow."

He does as I ask, a grin on his face. "Oh, what's on your mind, Wolf? Are you spoilin' me?"

"I seem to remember asking if you wanted me to sit on your face."

"Get up here. Now." he growls, lust clouding his eyes.

I climb on top of him, turning so I can reach his cock. He wastes no time, laying claim to my pussy with his tongue while his hand smacks my ass. I study the flesh in front of me before grabbing it again. I stroke him slowly, teasing him a little before I lick the tip. He hear a soft moan from him and decide to lick his entire length. He smacks my ass again, harder this time, so I take him in my mouth.

****Kenpachi POV****

Fuck! For never havin' done this before, she feels amazin'. She's mimickin' what my tongue is doin' to her as she sucks and bobs her head up and down. She starts slow, almost as if she's explorin' what makes me tick. I return the favor, flickin' her clit with my tongue. She moans and the vibration of it feels so fuckin' good it's hard to not give her a mouthful. I decide to make her do it again. I capture the nub between my teeth and suck on it. Her movements on my dick get faster. I suck harder and she tenses so I move my mouth. One last stroke on her clit and she screams around me before tryin' to drown me from this end.

***Harmona POV***

I don't expect my scream to have this effect on him, or to hear the slurping noises he's making. He's thick and a little salty but not horrible. I wait until I'm sure he's done, both in my mouth and with his mouth before rolling off of him. I swallow without thinking and hear him groan. "What?"

"I've been havin' day dreams of whether you're a spitter or not. That answered my question." he laughs before pulling me back on top of him. He spins me around though and kisses me. I return it all too willingly. He growls and grabs my hips, lifting me before impaling me. He breaks the kiss off to watch me as he holds my hips still so he can drive in deep. My nails dig into his chest as I fight the urge to move. He smirks. "What's wrong, Wolf? Does this feel good?"

"Yes!"

"You like havin' me deep inside you, don't you?"

"Yes! Oh god! Kenpachi, I need to move. Please, let me ride you."

He smacks my ass hard, making it sting. This makes me sit up and my hips move on their own. I moan loudly. He feels so good, filling me completely. It won't take long like this.

***Kenpachi POV***

I watch her as she fucks me, takin' hold of her tits. Mine. All mine. She's fuckin' gorgeous and looks so damn hot right now with her cheeks flushed and her eyes half closed. She's holdin' her screams in, I can tell, though the damn moans she's lettin' escape are hard to ignore. I release her tits and grab her shoulders, pushin' down on em. "That's it. Fuck me, Wolf." I growl at her.

"Kenpachi, hit me again, please!"

I smirk and smack that ass as hard as I can, but I don't lift my hand after. She screams my name, loud enough I'm sure the entire barracks can hear. Good. They'll know to keep their damn hands off my woman. I thrust up as she comes down on me and her nails tear down my chest as she arches her back and lets go. I'm never gunna get tired of bein' drowned but I've got it figured out. She drinks more than she eats, therefore that's why she's able to do this. Not that I'm complainin'. I watch her for a second. "Wolf...hey!" The color has drained from her face suddenly and I smell copper. I glance down and there's blood but not from where there would be any. I lift her off me and lay her on her side. There's three long, deep wounds in her back. "The hell?"

"My demon...he attacks me when I seem happy or when he's bored, trying to draw me into a fight." she mumbles, barely able to string the words together. "I'm sleepy."

"Wolf, stay awake and talk to me. I need to bandage those."

"Don't bother. Okami will heal them when he gets done fighting it...well, actually, laying in a pool of my own blood to sleep is just creepy so go ahead."

"Stay awake."

****Harmona POV - Inner World****

Okami and my demon are fighting, blood flying everywhere, black and red hitting the ground in great splashes. I watch silently. The demon is a bipedal thing with black fur that's missing in patches, leaving holes in which the bones are easy to see. And the fire within him too. His head is a wolf skull, devoid of any fur, muscle or skin and bearing yellow eyes. They knock down several trees before falling into the pond. Only Okami surfaces, pulling himself to shore and shaking his fur out. He lopes over to where I sit and circles around me. "You were distracted." he accuses gently before beginning to lick my wounds.

"I'm sorry. I just...he makes me feel alive, Okami. I haven't felt like this since Yamamoto took custody of me as a child. I feel like maybe I matter to someone."

"You matter to me. You always have."

"I know but I meant in the world not in my head." I laugh softly before my face falls. "This is going to hurt worse than being rejected by others as a child. I just want to be loved, Okami, instead of feared and hated. Am I such a bad person that I deserve to wander alone?"

"No, you silly pup. You aren't a bad person at all. You fight for what you believe in, even if it is only a cure for boredom. Do you know why I am your zanpakutou spirit?"

"Because I have a love for wolves?"

"No. I am your zanpakuto spirit because you are a wolf. Why do you think you have no shikai? The wolf form you call your shikai is in your blood. I just happen to fulfill the other needs in your soul."

"Like what? An uncooperative napaholic?" I tease.

"You need acceptance. You've never had family. You've always been alone, like a lone wolf, wandering from place to place, seeking love. Wolves can't live alone for long. They perish of loneliness. You were going down that path when your mate appeared."

"I know. Honestly, I regret meeting him. I don't think I can stand being hurt again, Okami...but my heart tells me to stay with him."

"Then stay. He gives you the challenge you need in battle. And your mind isn't as troubled as it was, though you do make the light dim down here with your clouds of doubt floating around."

"Sorry."

"The demon sees the happiness you let shine sometimes and he grows angry. He wants to train you the way Yamamoto wanted so you will destroy everything eventually as you were meant to."

"I don't want to destroy everything though. I...Okami, I love him. If I destroy everything, he'll kill me or I'll kill him. I can't. I didn't want to even before I met him but especially not now."

He comes back around and sits in front of me. "Then don't. Love is a powerful thing. It can make you strong or make you weak. You have to decide if you want to be strong or weak. Somehow, I doubt your mate will allow you to be weak."

"No, Kenpachi wouldn't let me be weak. If I was...he'd hate me and tell me to go to hell probably. He hates weakness."

***Kenpachi POV***

She's said it again. She loves me. How in the hell can she know? And why the hell can't she be like everyone else when they talk to their sword? I've never met someone who speaks out loud in their inner world...but honestly, I like hearin' her say it. Yeah, she sounds fuckin' weak sayin' it but it also tells me she won't leave me willingly like every other woman. She'll stay as long as I let her.

I lift the gauze off her back again and throw it away. The wounds are healin' and only a tiny drop of blood rolls down her back. I wipe it off with my thumb then lick my thumb clean. Even her damn blood is sweet. But the only blood I want her spillin' is the blood I bring when we fight. That demon is gunna have to go. She's my woman and I won't share her life, body or soul with anyone else. I watch for a few minutes longer as the wounds close, as if by magic. It's a handy ability to have but it reminds me of a damn Hollow. I'm beginnin' to wonder if that demon isn't a Hollow but she seemed to hate the captains that have Hollow's in em.

"No, Okami...he deserves better than me. Trust me. He needs someone strong without any weakness, without fear or a mind in battle...I think I should wander off before I get any more attached. He doesn't need me."

The hell? She really thinks I'd let her ass go, huh? Not a chance. I'm going to have to keep an eye on her from now on. She thinks she's weak but she's the furthest thing from weak I've seen in a long time. If she was weak, I never woulda bothered to bring her back here as a wolf in the first place. I guess years of abuse really fucks with a person's mind.

"I'd kill myself first. You'll die with me, you fucking bastard. I don't need you....you try it and I'll kill you myself, beastie." she snarls suddenly, her reiatsu flarin'."

****Harmona POV - Inner World****

"I will kill this man you've let yourself be tied to, child. He is not worth your affection, nor are you worth his. You are worthless. He must die." the demon hisses as he finally emerges from the water.

"I'd kill myself first. You'll die with me, you fucking bastard. I don't need you."

"Nor do you need him. I will destroy him."

"You try it and I'll kill you myself, beastie." I snarl

Okami jumps between us. "Enough. Harmona, you must fight this monster eventually to gain control of him, but now isn't the time. Wake up."

**********

"Come on, Wolf. Wake up." Zaraki says close to my ear.

"I don't wanna." He bites my shoulder and my eyes fly open. His tongue swirls over the bite and I growl at him.

"Don't tease me."

"Don't try to stop me. I wanna fuck you so you'll quit thinkin' I'm gunna let you wander off. You're mine, Wolf."

"You'll get tired of me eventually."

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you will. I'm weak and clingy and hate people. You'd be better off killing me than keeping me around. Don't get me wrong, sex is great but..."

"But what?"

I bite my lip. Here's the nail in the coffin. "I don't want to be hurt again. I want someone who can love me like I love them and I know we've only been having sex for two days but...I just...I don't want to make you weak and that's all love does. It only gives someone the power to hurt you and you have all the power in the world over me now. I'm scared."

"What're you sayin'?"

"I'm saying that I love you. And I know you don't want love. You told me before, you only want sex and fights from me. Not love. I'm sorry. I fucked up and fell in love instead."

He pulls me over onto my back and stares at me for a moment, searching for any sign of trickery. "Stay that way. I don't mind you lovin' me. I'm not sure if I can return it but I'm not lettin' you leave."

"Only because you want sex." I sigh.

"No, it's more than that, idiot. You're the most challengin' fighter I've been against in a long time. And I like havin' someone who ain't afraid of me here in the squad. Ikkaku and Yumichika don't count. They're idiots."

"You just called me an idiot too so I don't count either."

"Shut the hell up, woman. You're here to stay, that's final. You're tied to me with that soul chain you forged. And I don't know what love is but I know I don't want you goin' anywhere that I can't find you. It'll piss me off."

"Why? Just because you won't have a sex partner and a sparring partner that can keep up with you?"

"No, dipshit. I'd miss you, as a person. I don't know anythin' about love but I like you, alright?"

"Eww, mushy stuff. Where the hell is Kenpachi the mean, crazy as hell captain we all know and admire?" I tease.

"Right here, you fuckin' smart mouthed brat." he chuckles before kissing me. The kiss turns into something deeper, something full of passion and need. Something that spirals out of control for hours. Even if he can't love me, he can satisfy my need for fights and a good, hard fucking. Maybe I should forget about love. I've survived without it a long time. I don't need it.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm eating breakfast slowly, my thoughts clouding my mind with idiotic ideas. He didn't get angry when I told him I love him. In fact, he'd said he wasn't letting me go anywhere because it would piss him off...is that a round about way of him saying he loves me? Or am I trying to read between the lines where nothing is written? I think the latter is the correct option, of course. Nobody can love me. It's just not fate's design for me to ever be loved.

"If you don't quit bein' depressed I'm gunna kick your ass, you moody damn thing." Zaraki snaps from beside me. "Eat your breakfast."

"Sorry. My mind is being noisy today, Captain." I excuse myself. I can see he's not buying it. "When can we spar again? I'm bored, sir."

"That what all that damn sighin' is about? You're bored?"

I latch onto the excuse with both hands and nod vigorously. "Yes. I'm bored. I hate paperwork and I have nothing else to do. I need something to keep my brain occupied so it's not bothering me. Sometimes, I wish I could just cut it the hell out so I can't think about shit all the time."

He looks at me keenly. Oops. I've said too much. "What'd Kotetsu say yesterday?"

"Well, she said I was still a little underweight but nothing as serious as before. She didn't say I could but she didn't say I couldn't either."

"How much?"

"Huh?"

"How far underweight are you?"

"I don't remember. Actually, I don't think she told me."

He grunts. "I'll send her a message to clarify. I can't fight you if you ain't at your best and bein' underweight means you ain't there. You're with men now, no women to go easy on you. They outweigh you, it'll cause you to be beaten that much quicker."

I growl and stab my fork into my plate. "I'm not a fucking piece of glass, Captain. I can fight just fine."

"Mouth off again, Wolf. Dare you." he growls back. "I'm tryin' to keep you from gettin' your ass beat."

"You're an overprotective dumbass that's pissing me off!" I yell angrily before getting to my feet and storming outside. Why can't he understand? Fighting is what I live for. Denying me those fights is killing me inside. I just want to be free to fight. I throw myself under the cherry tree by the office and glare at the fish in the pond. "Men are stupid, mom." I mumble before leaning my head back against the tree.

***Memory***

"Hello, Harmona...you seem upset." a female says behind me.

I know that voice. "Mommy?"

"Shh. You can't let anyone know I'm here, darling. I know your father is out. Shunsui told me to come see you while the squad is out training. I brought you something."

I turn to her. "Why can't you be my mommy? It's not fair. Why does everyone hate me?" I say, wiping my eyes again.

"I know it's hard. I wish I could defy Yamamoto's orders but, for your safety, I can't."

"He's a grouchy old fogey." I pout.

Her laugh makes me smile a little. She walks closer and hands me something wrapped in a wet cloth. "Let's bury it together. That way you will always have me here in a way."

"What is it?"

"A seed for a tree. I think it would look beautiful overlooking the pond when it grows." she says, holding her hand out to me. She frowns a little when I flinch. "Harmona, I won't hurt you." I refuse her hand and walk to the pond. She follows and stops in a place half way between the office and the pond. "Here, sweetheart."

I start digging the wet ground by hand. Thankfully it rained last night so it's easy to dig. Her hands join mine in the digging. They brush mine every now and again but I make no sign that I notice. The times of her being able to come see me are rare. She knows I won't speak to daddy about it. I remain mute to everyone but Shunsui, Jushiro and her. And they keep it to themselves that I speak too. It's our little secret

It takes a little while but we finally have a hole deep enough and I plant the seed tenderly. "Will it grow up tomorrow?"

She laughs softly. "No, it'll take a little while to come up. Maybe a couple years."

I frown. "Mommy...am I a bad girl?"

"No, darling. You're not bad."

"Daddy says I am."

"Your daddy is....not who you think he is. It'll be ok. This will be over soon, darling. Keep your chin up."

I surprise her with a hug. "I don't wanna have kids, mommy. I don't wanna fall in love either. The world is a terrible place. Love gives someone power over you to hurt you. I don't wanna be a weapon and I don't wanna be hurt by love. I'd rather die."

"Don't say that! You'll find someone to love you some day."

"No. I don't want to. I have Okami. I don't need anybody else." I sigh as I feel daddy coming back. "You should go before daddy gets back. He'll hurt me if you're here when he gets back."

She kisses my forehead gently. "Don't lose hope." she whispers before disappearing with shunpo. I wish I could do that. But, like everything else, I'm a failure at that. Daddy makes fun of me because I can't use kido either. I'm useless without a sword...

**************

"The Hell is with you and this damn tree, woman?" Zaraki growls.

"Go away. You've pissed me off." I growl, refusing to look at him.

I hear a whistle and roll out of the way. Some bark off my tree falls to the ground and I stare at him, furious. "Quit bein' a bitch. You can fight me when you ain't so fuckin' weak." he snaps.

I don't think. Just spring into action. My reiatsu flares violently and I tackle him, sending us into a roll away from the tree. My nails grow longer and turn silver while I feel my ears shift and my tail grow. This is rare. "Stay the fuck away from my tree or I'll kill you, you bastard." I snarl venomously. I get off his chest and stomp back to my tree before turning and staring him down.

"Captain, what's going...what the hell?" Ikkaku asks, running to Zaraki, who's staring at me in shock. I didn't hurt him, obviously. He sits up and his face falls to one I'm familiar with. He's thinking about how to win this fight.

"Ikkaku, I think we need to cut that tree down. Take away her security blanket." he says.

"You try it, you bald fucking bastard, I'll kill you too." I spit, my reiatsu skyrocketing as rage threatens to take over.

Zaraki gets to his feet and draws his sword. "You wanna fight so bad, come on, bitch. I'll prove to you that you're not ready. No shikai and no bankai needed."

"Fine, asshole."

I disappear.

****Kenpachi POV****

The hell kinda trick is this. One minute she was there, the next she's gone. And what the fuck is up with that tree? I look around for her and, not seein' her, nearly put Nozarashi back. My back erupts in blood and fire suddenly, causing me to whirl instead. She catches the blade in the hip but doesn't seem to care. She pulls herself off of it. One of her eyes is yellow. I ain't dealin' with just her. She grabs my wrist and the amount of reiatsu she's puttin' out damn if she ain't burnin' me. I lose focus for an instant and she manages to pull me forward and hit me in the jaw with a fist. I hear bone split but my jaw ain't hurtin' bad enough for it to be me. She darts back, doesn't even look at her hand. I can see it's swellin' already. "That's why I said you ain't ready, dipshit." I growl.

"I'm not a fucking weakling, goddamn it! Fight me! Just because I'm not a wolf doesn't make it any different than before, you fucking coward!" her voice is different. Normally, her voice is like silk in my ears. I like hearin' it. This is raisin' goosebumps on my arms. It's like a growl and a hiss at the same time. Evil.

I give her what she wants, chargin' forward and swingin' at her. She dodges one, takes the next though only barely. It becomes a game. This. This is how fights should be. She manages to slide under my arm and those damn claws tear into my side, shreddin' uniform and skin, even muscle. I let an elbow fly, catchin' her in the cheek and knockin' her flyin'. She gets right back to her feet, those damn wolf ears twitchin'. That wolf...it ain't her shikai. She comes at me again, almost too fast for my eye to follow, her fists movin' in a flurry. I'm gettin' hit more often than I can block. She's fuckin' fast. I mange to catch one of her fists and end up gettin' kicked in the side of the head. She's startin' to piss me off. I catch her ankle when she aims a kick again and throw her. She hits the wall of the barracks and drops.

****Harmona POV****

I play dead, though I can hear them laughing. Some of the men are cheering me on though. That's a first. I hear Zaraki walking closer. "See? I told you. You ain't ready for a fight on my level, woman." he says before leaning over and grabbing the back of my shihakushou. I move quickly, laying his cheek open and knocking him flying with a kick to the chest. Fuck him and his rules. I'm perfectly fine.

Zaraki sits up and wipes the blood from his cheek. It doesn't stop though. Bits of flesh hang there. The sight dampens my rage. He glares at me and I kneel, putting my face against the ground. I feel my ears and tail go back to normal. "I'm sorry, Captain."

"We're fightin'. Get your ass up." he orders. I stand again but I can't look him in the eye. He comes at me and I flinch, but refuse to protect myself. The blade of his sword hits me, slicing through my arm and stopping on the bone. This makes him pause. "You givin' up?"

"You're right...I'm not ready." I admit quietly.

He pulls his sword out of my arm and grabs my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. "The hell happened? You were doin' good."

"I just realized you're right. I'm malnurished and my bones aren't holding up to the impact of hitting your block headed self." I lie.

"You suck at lyin'."

"I'm not lying. Captain, I'll wait til I get stronger then kick your ass. Just...please, don't cut that tree down. That's the only thing I have left of her." I plead weakly, blinking so the tears don't fall.

"I won't hurt your tree." he says softly. "If you tell me why you really stopped."

"I...it hurts me to hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You fuckin' idiot. You can't back out of a fight just because it makes you feel bad." he growls.

"I only feel bad because it's you, you moron. You took me in and helped me. This was no way to repay you."

He sighs. "Go clean yourself up. You're wearin' your heart on your sleeve. Careful it doesn't get stabbed."

I nod. "Captain...you'd be better off with me dead. I want you to know that."

"Yeah, with you bein' a weaklin' right now, I would be." he growls before releasing me. I stare at my feet as I walk back to my tree. I refuse to let Okami heal my arm. I need the pain right now.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch her. Somethin' is very wrong. Her arm and the other cuts ain't healin'. "Ikkaku."

"Sir?" he says, walking over to me from where he was watchin'.

"I'm gunna go get my face healed. Keep an eye on her. Somethin' ain't right."

"Yes, sir."

"See if you can get her to tell you what's botherin' her. Obviously somethin' is." I order before leavin'.

***Harmona POV***

"Hey, Wolf. Mind if I bandage those for you?" Yumichika asks softly.

"Ok." I say quietly.

He sits next to me but doesn't do anything. "Why do you look so sad?"

"My mother helped me plant this tree. It's all I have left of her." I reply.

"And?"

"And he killed her. I'm so confused, Yumichika. She was my mom and yet she wasn't allowed to be. He kills her and I fucking love him. I feel like I'm a terrible person."

"Wait, you love our captain?"

"Don't act surprised. I've been fighting it for a year now but I lost."

"Oh, my dear, that's nothing to be ashamed of by any means. He may not be beautiful like you and I but he is a very drawing personality. We all love him in a way. Not your way, obviously, but we're deeply loyal to him. As for him killing your mother, it was a necessary evil. It still haunts him I think. She was someone he looked up to as a child, you see. She was the reason he took the name Kenpachi. He had no name before then."

I nod. "Why does having a heart have to be such a pain." I sigh.

"It's a gift and a burden. However, you're not a terrible person for loving the man who killed your mother. They went into the fight knowing only one would come out and that it had to be him. She did what she knew was best to save everyone."

"She didn't bother trying to save me as a child. Why save thousands of strangers and not her own child? That still hurts."

"Perhaps she knew you were still alive and, not being able to find you, she decided saving the world so you could survive was the best she could do."

I stare at the pond and sigh. "Maybe."

He gives me a gentle pat on the back. "You'll figure it out."

I get to my feet. "Let's go get me bandaged. Okami is sleeping so I can't heal right now."

"Good idea."

****Kenpachi POV***

"She did this? With her zanpakutou?" Isane asks.

"Not exactly. Her sword turned into a wicked set of claws on her hand so she did it with her hand." I grumble.

"Why?"

"We had a fight. I was gunna come talk to you anyway but my dumb ass told her she ain't allowed to fight til I get the ok from you. I don't think she should just yet. She broke somethin' just punchin' me in the jaw."

She frowns. "I forgot to tell her not to fight for at least another couple weeks and I want her on calcium and iron suppliments. Her levels were way low. Kenpachi, she refused birth control too."

"She says her sword will tell her if she's in heat or whatever."

"She's in no shape to get pregnant."

"I know that and don't want any damn kids anyway. Lay off."

"I mean it. Not only physically but mentally, she's not ok. She's putting on a show. I really think she needs a mental evaluation done. Staying in her shikai for two hundred years is unheard of."

"It ain't her shikai. I don't know what it is but that wolf ain't part of her sword."

"Just please, don't hurt her. She may say she's not but her mental state is very fragile. Everything is new to her, even having someone to care about her."

"I don't care about her." I scoff.

She blinks at me. "Then why have sex with her?"

"Cause it feels good." I shrug.

"You're a jerk, Kenpachi. A real bonafide jerk. Hopefully she sees that and runs away from you as fast as her legs can take her."

"I won't let her."

"You can't keep her around just for sex. You'll hurt her worse than the abuse in her childhood, you heartless jerk!"

"Relax. I'm still figurin' things out. I like her, alright, but I don't know shit about love or carin'."

"I wanna hit you."

"Do it. I'll fight ya."

"Yeah and kill me deader than a doornail. Just try to be good to her, ok? She deserves that at least."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Can I go now?"

"You're terrible. Scram. Your bad vibes are messing up my peaceful infirmary."

I chuckle. "She'd have been proud of you, Isane."

"Oh, shut up. Get lost."

****Harmona POV****

I'm sitting on the bed drawing when I hear the door open. I don't want to look up but I do. His cheek is healed completely. "I'm really sorry." I say quietly.

"Stop. Injuries happen in a fight, dumbass. No need to apologize for it. Why aren't you healed?"

I look back down at my paper. "I'm fine."

"Didn't ask if you were fine, did I?"

"I won't let Okami heal them. I like pain, alright?"

"Oh yeah? So I don't need to be gentle with you anymore, huh?"

"What? Since when are you gentle?"

"I've always been gentle with you."

"You're so full of shit it's leaking from your ears."

He pounces on me, causing me to drop my pen and sketch pad. His mouth covers mine, demanding. I refuse to give in. He's violent, biting my lip hard enough to draw blood. I can't stop the moan that erupts from me. His hands lift me so I'm sitting in his lap before grabbing ahold of the back of my shihakushou and tearing it off me. I have a moment of irritation, as I'll need to get more, but he doesn't stop. His hips grind into mine. He's hard as a rock already. His mouth leaves mine suddenly and latches onto my neck, biting down hard and flicking his tongue over a spot that makes me hot. "Oh fuck! Kenpachi!"

"You're gunna wait til I say so, since you don't like to listen." he growls before biting me again.

"Please, let me touch you!"

"I said that for two years. So you can wait."

"I don't want to!"

"Waiting for shit seems to be a big problem for you."

"Please!" He ignores me, one hand hitting my ass as hard as possible, causing my back to arch toward him, which puts my breasts in line with his mouth. He bites one, his tongue massaging it playfully. His hand takes possession of the other one, kneading it like a giant cat. I rub against him, needing the friction. "Kenpachi, please! I need you." I whine, shoving my hands into the wide neck of his uniform, caressing his skin.

"Do you? Huh? Do you need me, Wolf? You were so willin' to fight me earlier and threaten to kill me." he growls.

"I'm going to smother you with my boobs. If all you're going to do is tease me then let me go."

He puts me down on my back and stands, removing his haori and shihakushou quickly. He strokes himself a couple times, which makes me hotter. "You wanna be a wolf, I'll fuck you like one. Get on your hands and knees."

I hurry to do as he's ordered. Within seconds he's inside me, driving deep, his hands gripping my hips tight and pulling me back as he thrusts forward each time. "Kenpachi!"

"You like bein' fucked like this? You're powerless to stop me in this position. Maybe that's why it feels so fuckin' good!"

He's an idiot.

****Kenpachi POV****

I'm caught off guard when she springs backwards, head buttin' me in the chin which knocks me on my back, though she falls with me. She props herself up on her hands, her knees folded up by my sides. "You were saying?" she teases.

"I'm still inside you. So you didn't stop me."

"Maybe I don't want to."

I get back to poundin' into her, my hands flyin' up to play with her tits. Damn this woman. I'm addicted to her just as much as I'm addicted to fightin'. Her body was made for me. Fuck she feels amazin'. She won't be goin' anywhere, no matter what. I don't care if she can never fight again. She still has that damn mouth and this hot pussy. That's entertainment enough for me. Her arms slowly give out, leavin' her layin' on me. I slide a hand down her body, findin' her clit and stokin' it. She moans loud, her back archin' off me a little.

"Don't fight this, Wolf. You can fight me on everythin' else. Not this." I moan as she clamps on me, makin' herself even tighter on my dick.

"Kenpachi!"

Her scream makes my ears ring but fuck! I feel my cock expel it's contents as she drowns it. She's fuckin' perfect for me. And her arm is bleedin' on me, as is her hip. I push her into a sittin' position. "Let him heal you, Wolf. Your iron levels are low enough without losin' all this blood."

"Don't wanna. Physical pain is better than emotional pain, Kenpachi."

I frown. Isane was right. She's not ok in the head. "Talk to me, Wolf. What's botherin' you?" I ask, liftin' her off of me. She ignores me for a few minutes as she crawls back to her spot and goes back to drawin'. I'm half tempted to yell at her when she finally sighs.

"I'm confused."

"About?"

"Us. You killed my mother. I know it was for a good reason, but still. She wasn't allowed to raise me. The last time I ever spent time with her was when we planted that cherry tree when I was eight. After that...she never came around again. I love her and hate her too. You killed her and I love you. I feel like a horrible person for loving my mother's killer."

"I had to." I say defensively.

"I know. I don't know why I even care. She didn't care enough about me to save me but yet she cared enough to let herself die in order for you to help save the human world and Soul Society. I just wish I could've been important enough to save."

There it is. That's why she hates people so much. Because her mom didn't choose to save her, she chose to save everybody else. Damn if that ain't a kick in the teeth for her. The one person who was supposed to love her and keep her safe left her to be treated like shit and die a little more inside each day. "You are."

"Am what?"

"Important enough to save. To me anyway."

"You just like me for my body." she scoffs, though I hear a hint of worry.

"No, Wolf. I like you for you. You had a shitty start in life but you survived and got damn strong. You didn't let it beat you into submission like every other woman would've."

"But you don't love me and never will."

"Is that what you want from me?"

"It doesn't matter what I want, Kenpachi."

I pull myself up and steal her pen and paper, settin' them on my nightstand before takin' her in my arms. "I don't know what love is, Wolf. I don't know the first thing about it. I do know that I care about your moody ass. That's the best I can do for now. That's why I won't let you fight. I know you aren't ready. You're so damn malnurished that's why your bones broke so damn easy. I don't want anythin' to happen to you."

She stays silent for a little while. "That's the mushiest thing you've ever said. You must be getting old, Captain." she teases.

I smirk. There's my woman. "You're older than me, Wolf."

"True."

"Must be why you're so cranky." And she hits me in the gut, makin' me grunt. Fuckin' brat. I wouldn't change a damn thing about her other than the moodiness. She's got a lot to be moody about though. I lay down with her on my stomach, just holdin' her and rubbin' her back gently. I notice when she goes to sleep. It's the middle of the damn day but I don't mind a nap. "I think I might be startin' to love you, Wolf." I mumble before closin' my eyes and lettin' sleep come over me too.


	11. Chapter 11

"Much much better than before. You're still about three pounds under weight but your iron and calcium levels are back up at the high limit of where they should be. All in all, I think I can give you a clean bill of health." Isane says, smiling brightly.

"So I can go back to sparring?"

"I believe that should be fine but if you still have problems with bones breaking easily, you come right back in here, ok?"

I grin madly. "Ok. Can I go now?"

"Not yet."

I groan. "Come on, Captain Kotetsu! You're killing me!"

She laughs. "I'm not killing you. I just need to do a mental evaluation. Central forty six is insisting on it."

"Fine. Go ahead."

"Do you ever have feelings of depression or anxiety?"

"Really?"

"Take it serious. If you fail this you'll be removed from Captain Zaraki's care and into the infirmary."

"Yes, I feel depressed often but maybe that's because I'm bored and haven't been allowed to do anything!" I snap.

"I'll put a yes on the next one too. Periods of irritability....do you ever have suicidal thoughts or intentions?"

"What!? No. I mean sure, there's times when I really question whether the world wouldn't be better off without my ass in it, but I don't wanna off myself and have no intentions of dying anytime soon."

She nods. "How do you view Captain Zaraki? Be honest."

"I love him. I know it's crazy but I do. I have great respect for him because he treats me like a person, not a piece of trash. Honestly...I don't like people. At all. I don't want to be anywhere he's not because I feel safe with him."

"And why did you stay as a wolf for two hundred years?"

"Honestly...I didn't want to be part of soul reaping anymore. My father was abusive, my mother wasn't allowed to be my mother. It was my way of getting away from the pain without killing myself. I stayed as a wolf because anyone would recognize me with this blue hair. Only other person, if you can call him that, with blue hair is Captain Kurotsuchi."

"I see. The two years after you were brought back though? Why stay as a wolf?"

"I hate people. At the time, I wasn't sure if I was going to be abused again or what so to be safe, I stayed as a wolf. I finally realized I was going to be ok when Captain Zaraki brought me in during that blizzard two months ago."

She nods. "Are you willing to talk to someone about the abuse you experienced as a child?"

"I talk to Captain Zaraki about it when I have flash backs. He listens and tells me what he thinks or comforts me as best as he can, being an emotionally dead idiot like he is."

"Does he abuse you in any way?"

"Not in my opinion."

"That's not convincing."

"We like rough sex. He doesn't hurt me more than I can handle and if I say it hurts, he stops immediately. So no, he's not abusing me."

"If he were to ask you, would you marry him?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

"I have to ask it."

I sigh. "I don't know. Part of me wants to say yes because I love him. But the other part wants to say no because nobody has ever loved me before so I really don't think anyone could love me enough to want to marry, especially him."

"What would happen if you accidentally get pregnant?"

"Won't happen but if it did...I honestly don't know. I love kids but I don't think I'd be a good mom. He doesn't like kids enough to want to raise one."

She sighs. "Well, that's a good sign. You're not crazy like they were worried about. Just promise me to be careful, ok?"

"Now I'd be lying if I say I would, you know."

"I see why Captain Zaraki says you're a smart alack. You can go. Don't kill each other, ok?"

"I can't say anything for him, but I won't kill him."

****Kenpachi POV***

I'm training with the men in the dojo when suddenly I'm knocked flyin'. I hear her laughin as she bounces up and down on my back. "I win!" she cackles.

"The hell are you doin', numbskull?"

"I'm clear for sparring!"

"And that means you had to tackle me why?"

"Because you weren't paying attention."

"I was payin' attention. I just don't feel threatened by you."

"Says the man who got knocked off his feet."

I roll, crushin' her to the floor under my back. "I win."

She lets out a squall and starts doin' somethin' I've never fuckin' dealt with before. The goddamn bitch starts ticklin' my armpits. I release my hold on her and she wiggles out from under me, makin' sure to kick my shoulder on her way out. "Hmph. Teach you to guard your smelly pits, Captain." she says, stickin' her nose in the air.

I glare at her, not botherin' to get up. "Brat."

"Aww, did I hurt the poor baby's feelings?"

"Woman, you ain't off duty anymore so watch your mouth. You will talk to me with respect."

"Nope. Don't think so. Gotta earn it first."

That does it. I get to my feet. "Just for that, go run laps, brat."

Her face falls from a happy one to a sad one. "Yes, Captain." she mumbles before goin' outside.

"Aww, Cap'n. Come on. Don't be so hard on her, sir. She's just excited she can finally get that energy out other than in the bedroom with you." One of the rookies says.

"You wanna join her?"

To my surprise, all the recruits leave the dojo. What in the hell has that woman done? I hear Ikkaku snicker. "Relax, sir. They view her as a little sister, even though she's older than them. They're gunna go try to cheer her up I bet."

"This is why we don't have women in the squad. They're a damn distraction and shit like this makes them a pain in the ass." I growl.

****Harmona POV****

I'm a pain in the ass. Not like I didn't know it but I was just playing. I didn't mean to upset him. Wonder how long it'll be before he sends a transfer request. I go to the training grounds and walk along glumly. He said run but I have no motivation right now.

"Hey, Wolf! Don't let his cranky ass bother you. He was grouchy before you came in." someone says, jogging up behind me. They're not alone either. At least ten sets of feet catch up to me.

"He's always grouchy. I think he's getting tired of me, probably. I shouldn't have been so disrespectful." I sigh.

"Aww, don't be sad. Come on, we'll race you. First one to ten laps."

"You're just along because you want to see a girl run. Pervert." I tease, my mood getting a little better.

"Yeah, maybe." he admits. "Seriously though, come on. We'll do laps with you. Captain Zaraki is a scary guy so any excuse not to have to fight him is good for us. Right guys?"

A chorus of "yes" sounds behind me and I give in. "Alright. You win. Let's race."

***Kenpachi POV***

It's been four hours and she still hasn't come back into the dojo. Neither have the recruits. I head to the trainin' grounds and stop in my tracks. All of the recruits are down except three of the eleven that followed her out here. Oh...make that two. They're tryin' to race I think and she's winnin' but barely. She looks pale. She's pushin' herself. She ignores me as she jogs by and I notice she's leavin' a blood trail. It isn't enough to worry about but I decide to stop her anyway.

"Enough runnin'. Go get some water and bring some back for these idiots too." I order loudly.

She stops on the far side of the field. The other two go a little further before takin' a knee. She stays on her feet, though her hand is on the wall. "Ikkaku, get some water. They're on the brink of passin' out from dehydration, I think."

"Yes, sir."

I walk closer to her and see her try to take a step. She wobbles and I catch her as she goes down. Her legs are twitchin' a little and she's covered in sweat. "Did I win?"

"Win what?"

"We were racing. Did I win?"

"Yeah, she won. She was a lap ahead of me and four ahead of Jingo here." Rydin pants. He's a decent fighter, pretty friendly, but I get a bad vibe from him for some reason.

She closes her eyes and smiles. "Yay."

"Have you all been runnin' this entire time with no water?"

"You told me to run. You didn't say anything about water, Captain."

"You idiot."

She flinches. "Sorry. Put me down. Please."

I set her on her feet and watch her take slow, careful steps away from me. "The hell are you goin'?"

"To the office, I guess."

"Why?"

"You seem to be upset with me so I'll go finish up the paperwork, sir. That way you can nap a little longer today."

"Your feet-"

"Will heal. It's just a couple scratches. No big deal."

I watch her hobble away and lose patience. I throw her over my shoulder. "Slow ass."

***Harmona POV***

"You don't have to carry me. I may be a pain in the ass woman but I'm not helpless."

"Could've fooled me."

He's really upset for some reason. I stay silent the rest of the way to the office and don't protest when he drops me in his chair. Before I can say anything, he grabs my ankle and inspects my foot. After a short growl, he opens a drawer and pulls a bottle of whiskey out. I try to jerk away but he puts a death grip on my ankle. "No! Captain!" My attempts at escape are futile. He drowns my foot with the whiskey, before yanking the other one up and repeating the procedure. I clench a fist and hit my thigh, biting my lip to keep from screaming.

"Just scratches, huh?"

"Ok! I lied! Why do you hate me all the sudden!?"

"Tch. I don't hate you. I'm tryin' to see how bad the damage is."

"Okami is healing it, I said! He's just being slow because he's exhausted."

"Why is he exhausted?"

"He's been fighting my demon for three days straight."

"Why?"

"It's restless. Just like I'm restless. I need a fight."

"That why you came in the dojo actin' like an idiot?"

"I was just playing. I didn't mean to harm your ego."

He grabs gauze from the first aid kit and wraps my feet. Even that bothers me but I keep my mouth shut, knowing now isn't the time to argue with him. "This is why we wear shoes, you know. I know you're afraid of em, but you'll end up fuckin' your feet up if you keep refusin'."

"This is the first time it's happened. I'm not wearing shoes. End of story."

"Woman, you're testin' my damn patience."

"So transfer me. Not like you like me anymore."

"The hell gave you that idea?"

"You've been grouchy with me for a week now, sir. I know the signs when I've overstayed my welcome."

"Do you want transferred?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then your ass is stuck here. As for me bein' grouchy, you've been talkin' a lot more in your sleep."

"Oh...I'm sorry. You know I can't control my mouth in my sleep."

"Somethin' about your dad and acid."

I frown and go quiet for a moment. "That shit hurts."

"Tell me."

I hesitate only a moment before launching into my past.

***Flashback***

"You killed the wrong woman, you fucking idiotic bitch!" Father roars at me from across his desk. I stand silent and stone faced, staring past him. "I know you can fucking talk. Say something!"

I refuse, my eyes finally meeting his.

He's on me in seconds, his hand around my throat, shaking me violently. "I'll fucking kill you!" His free hand draws his sword. The damn thing terrifies me. Even without a shikai, he coats it in a flesh eating acid. He's never cut me before but I've seen him cut others and their screams will haunt me forever. I'm not so lucky this time though. He stabs me once then removes his hand to cut my throat....right as Yamamoto and Shunsui walk in. My body falls as darkness swoops over my vision. This is a pathetic way to die...

"I've healed what I can...something is blocking me from helping any further, Head Captain." mother's voice.

"I see. She survives though?"

"Whether my daughter survives or not is now up to her. You'd better pray that she does."

"He pushed his orders too far. I never told him to harm her to a life threatening amount."

"Regardless, he did, Captain Yamamoto. It's time to remove her from his care. This is too close of a call."

"Swee..." I mumble. Someone's warm hand moves to hold mine.

"Hey, squirt. Just rest, ok? You're in the infirmary getting some treatment." Shunsui's voice reaches my ears.

"Gunna kill him?"

"I can't but he's in a load of trouble right now. We won't let him hurt you ever again, ok?"

"Ok."

"Sleep now, ok? You're safe."

"Wanna cookie."

He chuckles. "I'll give you all the cookies you want when you heal up. I promise."

"Ok...love you, Swee."

"Love you too, kiddo. Now go to sleep."

He didn't have to tell me. I'm already sinking under again...

The next time I wake up, I'm in a familiar set of arms. "No more, please. I can't stand seeing her like this."

"I will take charge of her now. Mori will have no part in this any further, Jushiro."

"And what about us?"

"You shall continue teaching her reading and writing. I know you will do it anyway, so I shall not try to stop you. You two are as stubborn as I am. You are to tell her nothing of her heritage though. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." Jushiro sighs, his arms holding me tighter. "She seems to be mending pretty well."

"Her zanpakutou is the reason. I don't know all of her secrets but she's told me before that it heals her." Shunsui says quietly.

"Does she have shikai yet?" Yamamoto asks.

"We don't know. She's never shown us if she has but I think she does. That night four years ago when she ran away from her barracks and ended up on the porch of my quarters, even though she didn't speak, she hinted around that it had manifested and brought her to me....I don't really understand why it chose me but I'm glad it did."

"We shall soon see. Tell me everything you know about her. Fears, likes, dislikes. Everything. I will take over her training and it will help me to know."

As Shunsui begins speaking, I nuzzle a little closer to Jushiro and go back to sleep. Why do old men talk so much?

****End****

"So your old man tried to kill you and you survived even with your throat cut." Zaraki says when I finish speaking.

"Okami is able to heal most wounds. Sometimes not all at once, especially if it's really bad or my reiatsu is low but he's able to keep me alive." I shrug.

"You're not able to die." he states, testing.

I don't fall for it. "That was the only time I've been wounded in a life threatening manner so I don't know. Okami works very fast."

"You're lyin'."

"What does it matter? Are you going to kill me, over and over again, just to test the theory? If so, you're no better than him."

"Tch. Don't compare me to him. I like you screaming in pleasure, not pain."

As usual, his words have an effect on me. "Tease."

He glances up at me as he finishes taping the gauze to my feet. "You're a monster. An absolute lust filled monster." he chuckles.

"Your fault."

"Good." He doesn't give me time to move before his mouth is on mine, stealing my air and rational thought process. I want him but he breaks the kiss off. His eyes are fevered. "You really want to do this here? Where anybody can walk in and see you?"

I answer him by standing and removing my uniform. "I dare you."

He smirks. "Dare me, huh? What do you dare me to do?"

"I dare you to fuck me, Captain. On your desk or up against the wall. I don't care which."

"Demanding little thing, aren't you?"

"Well, if you don't want it, I'll just go take a bath then, I suppose." I shrug.

He's on his feet in less than a second, in my face in less than five. His mouth is on mine again, demanding me to open for him, which I do. His hands find my breasts, making me moan softly. Suddenly papers go flying and he lays me on the desk. His hand caresses me gently before he pushes two fingers inside. I lift my hips, riding them. He's not in long before pulling them away and replacing them with his penis. I put my legs over his shoulders as he starts moving. He watches me with burning eyes. "You dirty woman. You're excited by the fact that anyone can walk in here, aren't you?" he growls.

"Not as excited as I am about the fact you're fucking me so good."

This seems to push him as he starts getting faster, pushing harder each time. The desk is shaking underneath me. "Fuck, woman! My papers are gunna get wet." he teases.

"I don't care! Don't stop!"

"Stop? Not a fuckin' chance."

A few more minutes and I break, biting my lip to keep from screaming. As he empties into me, I try to catch my breath.

"I really didn't need to walk in and see her naked." Ikkaku's voice sounds from the door.

"So go away." Zaraki growls.

"We have a mission, sir."

I grunt as Zaraki pulls out of me and fixes his hakama. I hop off the table and pull my shihakushou back on. Zaraki, however, puts me back on the table and checks the bandages on my feet. "You're still bleedin' a bit."

"They don't hurt anymore. It'll be fine. I think I can keep it from happening again."

"Sir?"

"Alright, let's go. Give me details on the way, Ikkaku. Wolf, you stay with Yumichika's group. They seem to have the most trouble watchin' their asses."

"Yes, sir." He's giving me an important job. That speaks volumes to me.

"Don't die or I'll bring you back and laugh at you, woman."

"You wish I would. I am a pain in the ass, after all."

"My pain in the ass."

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch her as she leaves, seemin' in a lot better mood than earlier. Ikkaku looks shocked. "Sir, do you have any idea what you just did?"

"What?"

he whistles"You called her your pain in the ass. You claimed her."

"So?"

"So what the hell were you thinking!? Do you like her or something? Obviously you're fucking her but what the hell?"

"She shares my bed and living quarters. Might as well claim her."

"It takes more than that for a relationship to work!"

"What the fuck do you want me to say?"

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know shit about love but I like her and care about her a little, alright?"

He whistles. "Sir, just be careful. The men are all attached to her, like family. If you hurt her they'll revolt probably. I don't care one way or another though she's a really sweet girl. She'd be better with someone else I think."

"I didn't ask for your opinion."

"True. Sorry, sir."

Why the fuck did he have to open his damn mouth. The very thought of her with someone else makes my blood boil. She can be with someone else over my dead body.


	12. Chapter 12

"Wolf, on your left!" Yumichika shouts. I whirl, bringing Okami up just in time to avoid a claw aimed for my head. These arrancar bastards just won't give up. Of the twenty that came here to the Rukongai, eight are left. The men are getting tired, I think. Zaraki is playing with one that looks similar to a stag beetle. I hear him laughing, which makes me smile as I knock the arrancar that's got it out for me flying. It goes through several trees before landing in a heap. It's not dead by any means. Yumichika makes his way over to me. "You ok?"

"I'm fine. A little tired but I'm still good. When we get back to the barracks, I wanna eat and take a nap." I laugh a little.

"That sounds like a good idea. You're paler than usual."

The arrancar is back up and charges at me. I side step and hit it from the back, making blood fly. It whirls a little too fast and catches me in it's crab-like left hand. "Okami, let him out." I order quietly. Really, I don't need my demon, but I want to see how Zaraki reacts. The men start screaming and I grin. Chaos. My specialty.

****Kenpachi POV****

The screams alert me that somethin' is wrong. I finish the arrancar I'm fightin' and turn back to the larger group. A cold chill runs down my back. Wolf is in the claw of an arrancar but is laughin' like mad. And there's a fuckin' monster that ain't a Hollow mixed in this shit, tearing the other arrancars apart. It looks like a half decayed wolf carcass...wait a minute...is this thing what's inside her? Is this Okami or the demon. As it's yellow eyes meet mine, I know. Holy shit is it fast.

***Harmona POV***

I'm laughing. The men are all scared by the carnage my demon is creating. I'll treat them to sake later. I turn my focus on the arrancar holding me and hit it in the face with my sword. It shrieks and throws me. Not what I had in mind. I land fifty feet from where I was being held, the wind knocked out of me since I couldn't right myself. Sometimes, I wish I was a cat just to have that ability. I manage to get to my feet and charge the arrancar again. It meets me head on, our fists, it's claws and my sword clashing in a flurry of movements. I'm playing, of course. If I wanted to, I could kill this thing easy. Boredom isn't a healthy thing for me.

****Kenpachi POV****

I'm lookin' around for her and spot her finally. What the fuck is she doin'!? She's banged up and there's blood on the side of her head. She's holdin' her own though. She's the only one still fightin' with arrancars. Her demon is playin' with the men...wait a minute. Son of a bitch! I watch as Yumichika cuts it's arm and her blood starts flyin' too from the same wound. "Yumichika, knock it off!" I bark the order.

"Sir?"

"You hit that thing you're wounding her too! Don't wound it anymore."

"What?!"

The fuckin' thing lets out a screech before goin' to her side and killin' the arrancar she was playin' with. I hear her yell at it before it socks her in the mouth, sendin' her crashin' into the trees. She's down. I wait for her to get up for a couple minutes but it doesn't look like it's happenin'. The demon looks at me before it disappears, turnin' into a black vapor and hittin' her. I make my way to her side. Her hair on the left side is purple from the mix of blood in the blue. Her bottom lip is swollen and split, blood pourin' out of it and a nasty bruise is startin' on the side of her head. I check her for a pulse and sigh. She's got a strong one, she's just knocked out.

"Ikkaku, need the smellin' salts. That thing knocked her out." I order.

"Here, sir. She ok?" he says, crouchin' beside me.

"I think so. little banged up and bruised from playin' with that arrancar then that damn monster."

"Sir, we need to report this to-"

"Don't worry about it. I know what it is."

"Huh?"

"Just don't worry about it. I'll handle it." I say, wavin' the salts under her nose. She sneezes violently, sprayin me with blood from her lip.

"What is that horrible smell?" she groans.

"Smellin' salts."

She opens her eyes and the right one has no white, only red where it should be. "Guess I shouldn't have played so much. Sorry, sir."

"That thing is your demon?"

"Yeah."

"What the hell happened?"

"I got bored so decided to play. He got mad and killed it so I yelled at him. He's always like that."

I hold up two fingers. "How many fingers am I holdin' up?"

"Erm...I see three but one is fuzzy so I'm gunna say two."

"Smart ass."

"I'm hungry. Can we go eat now?"

"You got head injuries, dummy. Can't go anywhere til the medics get here."

"But Okami is my own personal medic. I don't need anyone else."

"Yeah, you do. You're bleedin' a lot."

"Not like you-"

"I do care, you fuckin' brat. Ask Ikkaku if I ever hover over any of the men who get injured."

"I'm a lot sexier than any ugly guy." she teases.

"Well, I don't think you have any brain damage at least." Ikkaku chuckles. "And no, he doesn't hover."

She rolls on her side and manages to get her knees under her. The blood from her head is hardly flowin' anymore, so Okami must be healin' it. Still, she doesn't get up. "I should've ate before we left." she mumbles.

"Yeah, probably...wait, why?"

"He uses a lot of my reiatsu...I was already tired from the running earlier. I feel drained now."

"Wolf, you ok?" I ask.

She falls back on her back, out like a light again.

"She's running on fumes, Cap'n. I can't even feel her reiatsu right now. Whatever that thing is it's like a leech on it."

I shift her hair and notice the wound is almost closed on the side of her head. I never sent for medics. I just wanted a reaction. She didn't let it slip though, like I was hopin'. Every time a medic has tended to her, if she's awake, they get attacked by somethin'. If she's out they don't. I have to laugh when her belly lets out a loud growl. "Guess she wasn't kiddin' about bein' hungry."

"Apparently not. Should we go on back?"

"Yeah. Tell the men to go home." I order before liftin' her into my arms.

"Sir! Is she alright!?" someone shouts.

"She's fine. She's sound asleep and needs fed, that's all. This was a little too much on her after all the runnin' and skippin' lunch earlier."

Several of the men nod. "We'll go on ahead and get supper started, sir. Mind if we give her an extra portion since she skipped lunch?"

"Go ahead."

They take off, usin' shunpo to travel faster. The rest of the men line up behind Ikkaku and Yumichika before headin' out. Arimaki stays with me, somethin' rare for him to do. But maybe it's not a bad thing. I can't remember how we got out here.

***Harmona POV***

The smell of food slowly brings me around. I hear lots of voices. I feel the ground swaying beneath me and open my eyes. Zaraki is carrying me, apparently. "Captain...what're you doing?"

"Bringin' you home, you idiot. You fell asleep after the battle was over."

"Oh...sorry. I kinda shut down when he comes out because he uses so much energy."

"You skipped lunch too. No more doin' that. You need to keep your weight on and it'll keep your energy levels from bottomin' out if you have to let him loose."

"Yes, sir." He looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn't. "Is something else wrong, sir?"

He shifts his hand and holds up some fingers. "How many?"

"I count three."

"Good. Okami works pretty fast."

I take in his facial expression. It was tense before but has instantly relaxed. "Were you worried about brain damage?"

"Not worried but figured you might have some."

"I'd have to have a brain before it can be damaged, sir." I laugh.

"True."

"Hey!"

He finally cracks a smile. "You said it, not me."

"Yeah, I guess I did. I think I can walk now, if you'd like to put me down."

"Maybe I don't want to."

I blink. "Why not?"

"I just don't."

I catch him off guard and roll out of his arms, staring at him distrustfully. "Don't." I say before heading to the mess hall. When I get there, several of the men are already plating the food for dinner. One of them pulls me aside and sits me next to the sink.

"Let me clean you up. You've got blood all over you." he says gently.

"Alright." I sigh.

He's gentle about it, taking a clean cloth and dipping it in hot water before gently rubbing my skin. After a few minutes he smiles. "There we go. Much better. You go sit and we'll bring your food to you. Captain told us to give you a little extra since you missed lunch."

"Thanks."

I walk out and sit myself in a corner, away from Zaraki's normal spot. The men notice immediately but decide against commenting. They also decide to give me space. I don't look at Zaraki when he walks in with Ikkaku and Yumichika. I'm staring at the floor, fighting the panic. The look on his face earlier when he said he didn't want to put me down wasn't teasing. He was being serious. He can't love me. I can love him, sure but nobody can love me. I'm a monster.

****Kenpachi POV****

I feel somethin' in my chest. It sorta feels like fear but I have nothin' to be afraid of. What the hell is goin' on? I spot Wolf in the corner and see the position she's sittin' in. She's on guard, not wantin' company right now by the look of things. I wonder if this feelin' of fear is somethin' to do with that damn soul chain she made. Could I be feelin' what she's feelin'? I may have to break down and ask the lab freak.

"Sir, is everything alright?" Yumichika asks.

"Yeah, she's over there beatin' herself up for gettin' her ass handed to her. She'll be ok." I sigh.

"Shouldn't you go talk to her?"

"I've learned somethin' while keepin' her under my roof. When she's sittin' like that in a corner, it ain't a good idea to bother her. She's ok."

He makes a face and makes his way over to her. I don't look until I hear a loud thump on the floor and Yumichika's scream.

****Harmona POV****

I've got someone pinned, my hand around their throat. They tried to sneak up on me and then touched my arm. It startled me while I was deep in thought. Someone grabs me around the waist and lifts me off of my victim. Yumichika?

"Settle down, Wolf." Zaraki growls in my ear.

"He startled me. I'm sorry." I mumble, going limp in his arms.

"Well, that was scary. I'm sure I'll have grey hairs come morning." Yumichika tries to joke as he sits up. I notice the mark around his neck.

"I'm sorry, Yumi."

"That's why I told you to leave her alone. She startles easy when she's lost in thought." Zaraki says before setting me on my feet. I immediately pin Yumichika to the ground again by sitting on his belly. I hold my hand over the marks on his neck and slowly wipe it away.

"There...no ugly on your neck." I say softly before retreating outside.

****Kenpachi POV****

I stare at the feather head's neck. There was blood blisters there a second ago. And when she pinned him again, I got a furious feelin' in my gut for a second. Then she wiped her hand across the marks, like takin' a wet cloth to a stray streak of paint. The mark was gone. That was no kaido. Yumichika looks just as startled. What the hell was that? I turn on my heel and follow her outside. She's sittin' on the porch, eatin' her dinner. "What was that?"

"Okami...I asked him to heal it." she says softly.

"What the hell, woman?! You can heal others?"

"Not like Okami can heal me. He's only willing to heal superficial wounds on others and only when I beg."

I smirk. "So I'm not the only one that likes it when you beg, huh?"

"He does it to play though."

I sit next to her. "What was that earlier, Wolf? You ran from me."

She frowns and ignores me for awhile, eatin' her food. She's almost got a clean plate when she sighs. "You scared me."

"How? All I said was I didn't want to put you down."

"Don't. It's all fun and games, sir. You'll grow tired of me and that'll be that. Don't get attached. Don't say shit that might fuck up my head. Nobody can love me. I won't allow it. I don't deserve it nor do I want it. I refuse to be a weapon for someone to use against you."

Ikkaku brings my plate to me and I wave him away after takin' it. She won't talk to me with anyone else present. "Do you know how fuckin' stupid you sound? You're allowed to love me but I can't have any feelin's toward you at all, huh?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Why would you? My own parents couldn't love me so why should you? I'm nobody and don't deserve love."

"Well too fuckin' bad. You shoulda thought of that before sayin' it, you moron." I snap.

She finishes eatin' and sighs. "I don't want to get my hopes up that you can love me, Captain. I can deal with it if you feel like you like me because of the sex, but...I don't want your love because love is stupid."

"It gives everybody all the power in the world to hurt you. I got it. Now shut the hell up." She blinks at me, her mouth firmly sealed. "You're mine, Wolf. I don't want another woman. I want you. In my bed, at my side durin' a battle, as a partner for sparrin' and...as my wife. I love you and there's no changin' that. Get over it. I don't care if you tell me no. I'll drag your ass to Shunsui anyway. Don't like it, kill me."

She doesn't respond how I was thinkin' she would. Not at all. She stares at me for an instant before punchin' me as hard as she can in my shoulder. "You're not funny!" she snarls before takin' her plate inside. When she comes back out she storms past me and leaves the barracks. Where the hell is she goin'?

***Harmona POV***

No! No a thousand times! I don't believe him. He's never been cruel to me before but for him to even say something like that opens my eyes. He wants to torture me, obviously. I storm my way through the Seireitei and up to Shunsui's office. I bang on the door and some little black haired, glasses wearing girl answers. "State your business!" she barks.

"I need to speak to Head Captain Kyorakou." I answer, not very calmly.

"Let her in, Nanao. I always have time for her." I hear Shunsui call out.

"Come in." the girl says sharply before turning and leading me into the office. I throw myself in a chair.

"This is the first time you've come to see me other than that meeting last month." Shunsui says without looking up from his paperwork.

"I need a transfer out of squad eleven." I say.

Now he looks up. "Why?"

"Because! I just do!"

"I'm not going to do you any favors without a good reason, Harmona. I can't pick and choose favorites now."

I sigh and glare at him. "I'm in love with my captain."

"You said that at the meeting. That's not a good enough reason."

"He just told me he loves me too and in a stupid, non romantic idiotic way let slip that he wants to marry me!"

Shunsui blinks. "Uhm...Why are you wanting to transfer then?"

"I can't! Swee, he can't love me! My parents didn't so how could he!? It's obvious to me he just wants to torture me."

"Harmona, your mother did love you. She did everything she could to fight Old Man Yamma on what was being done to you."

"Oh, so saving the world by letting Zaraki kill her instead of saving her own flesh and blood two hundred years ago is love. Thank you for clearing that up." I snap.

"Do you even realize how many times she and the old man came to physical fights over you?"

"So what?"

"Mori wasn't your dad. She told me that night when he nailed your sandals to your feet."

I stare at him. "Why are you just now telling me?"

"I was forbidden to tell you. We tried dropping hints by the books we'd help you read. If you'd caught on and asked us directly, we could've told you. But you never asked."

"So it's my fault for being stupid." I growl.

"Harmona, I'm not transferring you. Go work it out. He's a good man. Crazy but good."

"I can't believe this! Swee, you're suppose to be on my side!"

"I am on your side, you silly kid. That's why I'm telling you to go talk to him. You don't even know who you are and by shutting everyone out nobody else knows who you are either. I know the child I helped raise is in that body somewhere."

"I buried her. She's stupid."

"No, just slow on the uptake sometimes. Go talk to him."

"Sometimes you can be a real ass, you know!" I snarl before getting to my feet again.

"Yeah, I get that on rare occassions." he chuckles. "Come by tomorrow after dinner. We'll talk about what I know, ok?"

"Fine. You're killing me. You're sending me to my death. I'm going to die."

"Oh, you are not. You'll be fine. Go take a shower. You've got blood in your hair."

****Squad 11 Captain's Quarters****

I sneak into the house. I hear the shower running and sigh. I've been thinking the entire trek back that Shunsui is right about needing to talk to Zaraki. I'm terrified. I make my way into the bathroom and remove my shihakushou before sneaking into the shower behind him. I can't help but wrap my arms around him. "I'm sorry."

"Where've you been?" he growls.

"I went to talk to Shunsui. He likes you better than me, apparently."

"Why?"

"I asked for a transfer and he refused and ordered me to talk to you."

"You want a transfer? I'll fill the paperwork out in the mornin'."

"No...I was panicking. I don't want to be anywhere else. Kenpachi...I'm scared of letting you love me. I've never been loved. I feel like it's a mistake or your're trying to trick me. I know I love you because of how I feel when you're around. But...I just don't want to disappoint you."

He turns in my arms and kisses me. "Only disappointment you've ever givin' me is when you ran off earlier instead of talkin' to me."

"I'm sorry."

"Marry me, Wolf. Let me prove to you that you're worth it."

"What if you regret it?"

He lifts me up and pins me to the shower wall, kissing me roughly. "I won't regret it. You're the woman I want, Wolf. I got fuckin' butterflies in my damn stomach for fuck's sake. It's pathetic."

"Is it just the sex?"

"No, Wolf. It's more than that. You fight so fuckin' good." He purrs and I feel him harden against my hip. "You're not afraid of me, except for this love shit. You talk to me like an equal, instead of these other idiots who are scared to death of me. You sleep next to me without fear. You're mine. I won't let any other man have you. Say yes."

"But-"

"Say yes, Wolf."

"Make me!"

His lips are on mine again, demanding compliance. I let his tongue enter my mouth and I suck on it teasingly, making him moan. He returns the favor by grabbing my legs and pulling them up around his hips. I moan as he pushes inside me, adjusting his hands to cup my ass. He pulls back to watch me as he strokes inside me. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, Wolf. Covered in blood and carnage, mounted on my cock like this. I don't want any other woman. Just you. It takes all my strength to resist stayin' inside you for days on end. You feel right, like my sword feels right in my hand." He shoves in harder, making me dig my nails into his shoulders.

"You don't have to say you love me to get this though!"

"Oh, but I do love you, Wolf. You're mine. Feel how fuckin' hard I am inside you. Feel how good it feels when I fuck you. You marry me, we can take a vacation and do this all day. I wanna make you feel good. You're my woman. Oh fuck!" he groans as I tear my nails down his back, making him fuck me harder, faster. "Say yes, Wolf!"

"I...can't. Oh god! Kenpachi, please!" I cry, throwing my head back. His mouth descends on my throat, nipping and sucking on it before moving above my jugular vein and biting just hard enough to bruise.

"Say yes, Wolf. Please." One final thrust and I break, screaming his name loudly. He doesn't stop though. He's holding back on purpose. "You're my woman. Even if you say no, you'll still be mine and I'll still love you whether you like it or not. I want to marry you so no other man can ever have you!" His thrusts become harder and he smacks my ass. "Say it! I need you to be my wife, woman. I love you."

I hold out awhile longer, enjoying the pleasure he's giving my body. I can't stop repeating his name. Finally, my resistance is gone. "Yes! Kenpachi!"

"That's my woman." he says before getting violent with his movements, seeking his own release. Another smack to my ass makes me bow up, my orgasm washing over me so every nerve ending in my body is on edge. He locks himself inside me, growling my name as he fills me with his release. I rest my forehead on his as I slowly float back to sanity. He kisses me softly. "Mine."

"Yes, yours. You get to explain to Shunsui."

"We'll go together."

"Pretty sure we just did and I'm so tired I don't know if I can do it again this quick."

He chuckles. "I'll let you rest this once. How's your head?"

"Hurts a little but I'll be ok."

He sets me on my feet but spins so I'm under the water. He surprises me by proceeding to wash my hair. He's never done this before, but it's so relaxing. "You're so damn beautiful."

"You need glasses."

"Tch. I do not." he says before rinsing my hair and starting to wash my body. He's massaging me as he does, which is very relaxing. After rinsing me, he turns the water off and grabs a towel, wrapping me in it before carrying me to bed. I'm asleep by the time he dries me off and climbs in bed with me.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch her as she sleeps. What the hell has she done to me? Seein' her like that earlier I thought she was dead. It scared the shit outta me. Nozarashi had laughed and told me to embrace it, that she was meant to be mine and the fear I was feelin' is love. Fuck it. I hate feelin' this way but damn it, I need her to be mine. There's this overwhelmin' need to protect her and keep her safe from other men. It's been gettin' worse since that damn chain she created. I wonder if it has somethin' to do with my urges to be near her all the time and fuck her senseless. Hell, I had a thought yesterday about what she'd look like with her belly swollen with my babies. That's not me. Kids are fine but I don't know shit about babies...

When I wake, it's bright outside. Wolf is still asleep beside me. She's peaceful for once. However, I need to get up. I'm late for a captain's meetin'. Shit, I don't wanna wake her up by movin'. Ah, to hell with it. It was just budget proposals for the year. Fuck it...

Soft lips on mine wake me up again. I hold her to me and she giggles. "You're in trouble. There's several captains on our porch."

"Our porch, huh?"

"Mmhm. I said yes so what's yours is mine." I kiss her again, ignorin' the poundin' on the front door. She squirms away after a few minutes. "Break it to them gently, darling. I'm sure all of their hearts will be broken, even the females."

"You idiot."

"Yours."

I get up and get dressed while she pulls my robe on. I go to the door and throw it open. "What! Can't a man get some damn sleep!?"

Kuchiki, Hitsugaya and Shunsui stand there. Isane is on the steps. "Decide to sleep through the meeting today, big guy?" Shunsui teases.

"It was just about budgeting. I don't give a shit about it."

"It was also a check in on her progress, so now we're here to visit. It's eleven o'clock. It's past time to wake up."

"Yeah well she was sleepin' good and I didn't feel like listenin' to her bitch if I woke her up."

"Well, that's a little progress. Good progress." Isane says. "Can we see her? I know for myself she's ok but these two won't listen. Soi Fon refuses to listen either but she says if Harmona wants to be an idiot, it's her decision."

"Fuckin' pipsqueak's got a big mouth." I growl before openin' the door further and lettin' them in. Wolf is sittin' at the table, drinkin' coffee from the smell of it. She doesn't look up when they enter. "You make enough coffee for everyone or should I make some more?"

"No, I heard them out there and made enough for everyone. It's in the pot." she says quietly.

Shunsui sits next to her, the other captains fillin' in the empty seats. "Harmona, you seemed pretty upset when you came to my office yesterday evening."

"I'm better now. We talked it out, as you suggested, sir. I think we've come to an agreement."

"And?"

"She's marryin' me." I grumble, passin' coffee to everyone before pickin' Harmona up and puttin' her in my lap.

"You can't be serious. Who's idea was that?" Toshiro gasps.

"Mine and she agreed."

"Harmona?"

"Yes. I agreed. I love my captain more than anything in the world and I feel safe with him so it's a logical choice. A good choice for my sanity." she says, grabbin' my hand in view for all of them to see.

"Harmona, did he bully you into it?" Shunsui asks seriously.

"What!? No! Shunsui, I wouldn't let him do that and you know it."

"Yeah, I remember the last man who tried to do that to you." he chuckles. "Zaraki, why are you asking her though?"

"Cause I found somethin' I love as much as fightin'."

"At the risk of being rude, Captain Zaraki, I find it hard to believe that you are able to love or that anyone in their right mind could love you." Kuchiki says.

"Are you jealous, Captain Kuchiki?" Harmona snaps, glarin' at him.

"Why would I be? You are little more than an animal. The only thing I worry about is how much of a threat you are to the Soul Society."

"You'll see, if you keep being rude to my captain. He may not be as pretty as you are, but at least he has a heart not made of ice. He actually cares about things other than duty and blood lines and pride. I love him and that won't ever change. I have no time for dealing with insects who have the face of butterflies but the insides of maggots." I clap my hand over her mouth before she can continue insultin' the bastard. That's my job.

Kuchiki's face says it all. There's rage and shock there. Shunsui clears his throat. "Harmona, are you sure this is what you want? There are several other men who've asked me for your hand in marriage and it's not my decision, kiddo."

"Who?" I demand.

"I'm not going to tell you. I don't need you locked up."

"I'm positive. I don't want any other man. Just him."

"Then you have my blessing. Send me details when you figure them out. This will be a grand wedding, most likely."

They make their way out and I hear her sigh before she sags in my arms. "You're a horrible influence, Kenpachi."

"Me? What did I do?"

"I never used to speak like that to anyone." she laughs softly.

"Tch. He'll get over it." I hear her yawn, smirkin' at the soft whistle she always manages to create when she yawns. "Still tired?"

"When my demon comes out, he uses so much of my energy it takes a long time to build back up. Last time I let him out I was down for a week. Course I didn't have any food to eat either so that didn't help matters."

"Go back to bed then...for once, I'm gunna stay in bed too. I was sleepin' good."

She slides out of my lap and wanders back into the bedroom. I follow suit, layin' down beside her and kissin' her cheek. She puts her head on my chest and throws an arm over my belly while her leg rests on mine. What the hell I'm doin' by askin' her to marry me, I have no damn clue. I don't give a shit either. She's my woman, that's the only thing I do know.


	13. Chapter 13

The clang of steel on steel. Blood in the air. Death surrounds me. Yamamoto stands beside me on the battle field. The Quincies we are marching against are putting up a good fight, though not good enough. Their numbers are slowly dwindling. My ten year old self, only 6 months free of my father's reign of terror, looks on with no emotion.

"You are very quiet today, child. More so than usual." he comments suddenly.

"Why must we kill?"

"We must keep a balance. If too many Hollows are destroyed, our world and the world of the living will merge and collapse. Quincies cannot help but kill Hollows. They are humans who were born with powers to avenge their fallen. However, the blade of a Shinigami like you and I, cleanses the Hollow's soul so that it may enter the Soul Society to keep the balance. Quincies do not understand this and believe Hollow's should not rest in peace."

"Why should any soul rest in peace? We are all evil in some degree or another."

"Does evil not create good in some ways?"

I hesitate. "I don't think so."

"Think for a moment. The flames of my Ryuujin Jakka burn everything, yes?"

"Of course."

"Then from the standpoint of wood, wouldn't my sword be evil?"

"Wood doesn't have a brain though."

"You take things too literal."

I frown. "Yes. The wood would think it's evil, I'm sure. Just as the ant things the boot is evil."

"Very good. But from the ashes rises new life. Remember the field I took you to for training last week?"

"Yes. The ground was nearly bare."

"Because I use that field to train. My sword has burned everything away...however, did you not notice the flowers blooming?"

"Yes, I noticed them. Lavender flowers make me sneeze."

"So is Ryuujin Jakka evil?"

"I don't view a sword as good or evil, sir. It can only do as much as it's partner lets it."

"Do you believe I am evil then? For burning away the grass?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Is your father evil for carrying out the orders I gave him to abuse you?"

"Again, the sword is only as good as it's master."

He nods. "Do you hate me?"

"I hate everything, sir. That is how you wanted me to be. Isn't it?"

"Not exactly."

"I'm tired of living, sir. At ten years old, I already wish I'd never been born. Do you know what comforts me now, when sleep evades me?"

"Hmm?"

"Pain. I have come to associate pain with good things. Fights bring pain. They end pain too. There are times when I hurt myself to keep myself from crying in despair. No child should be like me, sir. One day, I will have to be killed. I already feel the madness creeping in. An overwhelming urge to kill. I want to destroy everything so my pain becomes everyone else's."

"I would suggest you don't give in to this madness. I will be ordered to put you in the Muken until such time as you are needed instead of killing you."

"I won't go quietly, sir. I will force you to kill me."

****Kenpachi POV****

I'm sittin' in Shunsui's office, mullin' over what Wolf said in her sleep. Pain is her way to not cry? That makes my heart bleed a little. I've caught her several times diggin' her nails in her arms, mostly when she's asleep, the blood oozin' out of the wounds.

"Hey, you ok?" Shunsui asks suddenly.

"Yeah. She talks in her sleep and I was thinkin' about somethin' she said last night. It's nothin' important, just girl shit."

"But yet it's distracting you from our drinking game."

I chuckle. "Heaven forbid we get distracted from drinkin'."

"So how is she really? When she came in here two days ago to ask for a transfer she seemed panicked."

"She's afraid of love. To the point of when I first told her she yelled at me and punched me then came runnin' to you. Her childhood musta been really bad if she's that afraid."

"You have no idea. Has she told you any of it?"

"A few things. Makes me sick that anyone can do that."

"Yeah...it was a nightmare. For all of us who cared."

"She's damaged pretty damn bad. Mentally and emotionally."

"Honestly, Kenpachi, I'm really not thrilled about you marrying her. She deserves someone who can help her get past it."

"What makes you think I can't?"

"I'm not saying you can't. I'm thinking you don't have the patience for it."

"I waited two years for her to come out of her wolf form. If that doesn't prove my patience, I don't know what does."

"Just...treat her better than he did, ok? Please."

"I'm tryin'. She's so scared of this she's havin' a lot of bad dreams lately."

"She, of all people, has plenty of reasons to have bad dreams, Kenpachi."

"I know it. I hold her and talk to her when she wakes up screamin'."

He sighs. "I wish I knew a way to erase her memories of those days. She deserved so much better than that. Especially because her father wasn't her father."

"You know it too, huh? So, who was her sperm donor then?"

"Well, he's dead now and can't enjoy parenthood...it was Jushiro. He only knew after the incident that made Yamma take over custody. He did everything for her even before he knew, once she started coming around to my office every night."

"What the hell was the big idea, keepin' her from her parents?"

"Yamma wanted her to go batshit crazy and be the ultimate weapon against the Quincy."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I wish I did."

The office door bangs open suddenly and that fat bastard from squad 2 goes flyin' past my head, landin' under the window behind Shunsui. "Swee! If you don't tell this fat, disgusting bastard to stop harassing me, I'm going to make bacon out of him!" Harmona yells from the door.

"See? She's a good weapon." I laugh.

"Harmona, what did he do?"

"That fat pig touched my ass and offered to marry me, then called me a liar when I told him I'm marrying my captain."

"You should be grateful I'm even taking the time to offer marriage. You have no idea what you're missing!" the blob groans.

"I'm missing out on being squashed to death by your lard ass!" she snarls.  
"As if anyone would marry such a bad mannered woman like you."

"Actually, dumb ass, I am marryin' her. So watch it or I'll use you for practice." I growl.

He gulps. "Yes, sir! Forgive me!"

"Go spread it around to all your little friends too."

He darts past me and Harmona punches him, sendin' him flyin' back through the door. I hear her grumblin' some pretty nasty words under her breath before turnin' to leave. "Sorry to disturb you two."

"Sit and have a drink, Harmona. Let's talk about some things." Shunsui says, smilin' at her.

"I don't want to intrude."

"You're not."

She sighs. "Is this the part where you try to talk me out of marrying him and tell me I deserve better or some shit like that?

"Uhm...no?"

"Captain?"

"Will you stop and sit down already, you silly woman. He's invitin' you for drinks, not to the slaughter house." I grouch.

"Think I'd rather go to the slaughter house. Least I can eat."

"Why are you hungry? It's past lunch time." I snap, already knowin' the answer.

"They were eating fish. I don't eat fish anymore. I'm not a stupid feline." she growls.

"Harmona, darling, sit down. I'll have Nanao go get us a snack."

She sits obediently. "Oh, I suppose I can stay if you're feeding me."

***Harmona POV***

I can feel more than see Zaraki's irritation at my skipping of meals. I just can't bring myself to eat another fish. When I ran away, that was the only thing I could catch at first until I got bigger and faster by training from sun up to sundown and even then I'd train late into the night sometimes. When I first left the Seireitei, my wolf form was still a juvenile. Only four foot tall and not very fast.

"Harmona!" he snaps suddenly, making me jump.

"Sorry. Guess I zoned out a bit, didn't I?" I sigh.

"I asked what you wanted to eat." Shunsui says gently.

"It doesn't matter. Just no fish or natto or tea. Please."

"Sure thing."

Nanao seems to already know what to do, as she strides out dutifully. Shunsui focuses on me. "Are you ok? Past couple days you've seemed out of it."

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit." Zaraki growls.

"Alright, the nightmares are getting worse. Lay off."

"Have you tried meditation?" Shunsui asks.

"No. I don't have the patience for it."

"How do you talk to your sword then?"

"I just slip into his world."

"When she talks to Okami, it's like she's lucid dreamin' or somethin'. She talks out loud in our world but her eyes are shut and she clearly ain't here." Zaraki sighs.

"I've never heard of that before." Shunsui says.

"I'm weird. So what?"

"Nothing. So, the wedding...any thoughts on it?"

"We're sitting right here, in front of you. Can't we just elope or something?"

"No!" Zaraki snaps, to my surprise.

"Why not!?"

"Harmona, if you and Zaraki were just normal soul reapers, eloping would be fine. But Lieutenant class and above are required to have a public ceremony." Shunsui sighs.

"Why though?"

"Because it's law. A Captain or Lieutenant class soul reaper are high ranking, therefore the celebration has to include everyone. It's also to make sure everyone knows the new spouse so stuff like what Omeyeda is doing doesn't happen. Sort of like a safety measure."

"It's stupid. I'm capable of killing whoever bothers me."

"But we don't want you killing people. Come on, it won't be that bad."

I glare at Zaraki. "Who's the pain in the ass now?"

"Want me to call it off?" he growls.

I sigh. "No. I don't....you realize I'm going to look ridiculous, right? I don't know a thing about fancy hairdo's or make up."

"I know just the person to help with hair. I'm pretty sure he said he'd shave you bald if you let anyone else touch it."

"Yumichika? Fine. I trust him."

"Rangiku could do your make up." Shunsui says.

"Yumichika can do make up too. He used to do Yachiru's every Halloween."

"Why not both?"

I sigh. "Fine. This will be the last time you see me all girly and dolled up."

"Oh, it'll be fun. We haven't had a reason to celebrate for a long time, kiddo." Shunsui chuckles. "Make you a deal, you try to have fun and I'll let you two off for two whole weeks for a honey moon."

"Alright."

"Do you two have a date in mind?"

"I think sometime in the winter with the snow on the ground. Her hair is pretty against all the white." Zaraki says.

"Well, December is her birth month if you go winter route."

Zaraki glares at me. "So, we've got a month narrowed down. What day?"

"Huh?"

"She refuses to tell me when her birthday is. Now I know it's December. So what do you want me to do? Say happy birthday every day for an entire month?"

"The seventh, alright? Why's it so important?" I snap.

"Because it is. To me anyway."

"You two sure you should be getting married? There seems to be a rift." Shunsui says.

"The rift is because...I'm scared, alright? I'm fucking terrified of this, Swee. I love him but the whole idea of him loving me scares me. Nobody has ever loved me before and I'm terrified of screwing it up and losing the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Both captains blink at me and I curl into a ball in the chair. Shunsui clears his throat. "That's pretty messed up logic, you know. You're afraid of losing him so you hide things and push him away?"

"He doesn't seem to mind. He always comes back for more." I smile a little.

"Tch. I come back because I love you, numbskull." Zaraki grumbles.

"Harmona, give him a chance to show you. I've known Zaraki a lot of years. He never does anything without a reason and he's not a man who admits to his emotions often so if he says he loves you, he really does."

"Alright, dad." I growl. "I think spring would be better for a wedding. You forget I don't wear shoes, Captain."

"I could always ask Toshiro to make some snow." he chuckles.

"I have a better idea. What if you did it in winter but we can put something down on the ground to protect your feet? Like a white runner or something." Shunsui says.

"Alright, that'll work."

Nanao brings back the food and passes it out. "I wasn't sure what you like so I got you some peanut chicken and mochi. Is that alright?"

I smile. "Perfect."

She smiles back and nods. "Captain Kyorakou, do you need me any more? If not, I'm going to take a break. My allergies are killing me today and I'm very sleepy."

"No, you go ahead and get some rest. We're just shooting the breeze." Shunsui says kindly.

"Thank you."

I'm too busy eating to notice the men staring at me or Nanao leaving...

****Kenpachi POV****

Watchin' her eat, she seems pretty happy. I wonder if this is a special thing with good memories attached to it or somethin'. Shunsui has a small smile on his face too. "What's the story behind that?"

"The first night she spent in my office, that's what I fed her. Along with cookies and milk later before finally going to bed. She stayed on the couch and I laid on the futon closer to the door so if Mori tried to come in and hurt her, I could stop him."

"Did I hear the word cookie?" she asks.

Shunsui takes somethin' out of his desk and tosses it to her. Her smile makes me smile. I can see the little kid she deserved to be in there as she starts munchin' on the damn cookie. Shunsui shakes his head. "Spoiled heathen."

"Anyway, how about January?" I say.

"Fine. No pink!"

"No pink." I agree, smirkin' a bit.

"Are we going with a western culture wedding or a traditional?" Shunsui asks.

"Why not mix it? I like parts of both. Like I like cake and a ring exchange. But I like traditional Japanese attire." Harmona says right before yawnin'.

"You have plenty of time to decide the details. Harmona, why don't you go take a nap?"

Hearin' no answer, I glance over. Damn woman is out like a light. "You got any idea why she gets so damn sleepy right after she eats?"

"Could she be pregnant?"

"No. This has happened every time she's been fed since I found her. It's nothin' new."

"Hmm...I really don't know. Maybe ask Isane. She might have an idea."

I get to my feet and lift Harmona. She snuggles into my chest. "My Pachi."

"She's attached to you for sure. Just be careful. I can see a lot of differences in her behavior from when she was a kid."

"Yeah, I got it. It would help if she could sleep."

"I'll have Isane come talk to you today. Make sure Harmona isn't around. I don't think it'd be good for her to hear anything."

"Shunsui, lots of orchids."

"What?"

"I noticed she seems to like orchids a lot. She's always sniffin' em and gets a smile on her face when she sees one. I wanna fill the place with lots of orchids."

"You got it. Any particular color?"

"All kinds. She doesn't seem to mind the color of the flower."

"I'll search around and see what I can do and get it done. Go take a nap with her. You look tired too. Course, if she's been screaming as much as you say with the nightmares, I don't doubt you are tired."

"Can't get nothin' by you, can I?"

"Nope."

***Squad 11 - Captains Quarters***

Harmona has slept the entire way home and still seems to be sleepin' good so I lay her on the bed and climb in beside her. I've noticed the raccoon eyes lately. Isane better know somethin' to help her sleep. She hates tea so I know she isn't going to drink the same shit Yumichika does to help him sleep.

"Pachi?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't leave me. I know I'm hard to deal with and a complete pain in the ass...just please don't leave me. I'm trying to get better. I'm just so scared. Like a rat in a cage."

"I ain't leavin' you, Wolf. I put too much time and energy into you. Plus I love ya. When are you gunna believe me?"

She snuggles closer, throwin' her arm and leg over me. "When the wedding is over. Now go to sleep. It's nap time."

I smirk. "You brat."

"Yours."

I watch her sleep for a little while before closin' my eyes and lettin' myself sleep...

***Harmona POV***

I wake up alone. The sky is getting darker as the sun goes down. Where could Zaraki have gone? I close my eyes and feel his reiatsu in the office. Along with Isane's a little further from him. Like maybe he's on one side of his desk and she's on the other. They must be talking. I yawn and stretch before unfolding myself and going outside. Ikkaku is on the porch with Yumichika. "Hey, bout time you woke up. Dinner is in the works. Zaraki and Kotetsu are havin' a meeting in the office about some damage a few of the men caused to the infirmary earlier."

"Go figure." I laugh a little and sit between the two men. "I'd give anything for a few good sleeps."

"That why you look like a panda?"

"Nightmares. I get a lot of them."

"Captain Zaraki told us to stay here in case you woke u-p and were upset. He didn't mention nightmares."

"Eh, I'll get over them, eventually. My childhood was messed up."

"So, what's this we hear from the gossip birds about you and Zaraki getting married?" Yumichika asks.

"He asked me two days ago and I said yes. He wants a January wedding because he says my hair is pretty in the snow."

"Yes, it is. You have to let me do your hair. I insist on it."

"I was going to ask you anyway, feather brain." I laugh.

"Good. I'll keep it simple, yet beautiful."

"I have no idea what to wear. I've never worn a dress before." I groan.

"My dear, I will have you looking like a queen, if you let me help."

"It's only March now. You've got plenty of time to help."

"You know he's going to go on and on about this the entire time you're planning, right?" Ikkaku sighs.

"It's ok. I don't mind...I'm glad for the help, honestly."

"See? Someone appreciates my tastes." Yumichika snaps.

"Yeah yeah. Good for you."

"What's eating you, Ikkaku?" I ask.

"A girl he likes. He wants to-"

"Shut up, Yumichika!"

"Maybe I could help." I say softly.

"Fine. I got a thing for Nanao. I think she's shy and would say no if I ask her out for drinks though."

"Do you like her because she's pretty or for her brains?"

"Both, actually. I like everything about her."

"Why not ask her out for tea instead of drinks sometime. Tell her you'd like to talk to her, lieutenant to lieutenant and would like to do it over tea or coffee." I suggest.

"That might work." Yumichika says slyly.

"Maybe. What if she says no?" Ikkaku asks.

"Well then leave her little notes on her door every morning. Don't sign your name. She'll eventually open the door right as you're sticking the notes up. And the notes should tell her one thing you like about her every day. Like 'you have beautiful eyes' or 'I love your smile'. Small compliments go a long way." I say.

"For someone who hates people, you sure do know a lot about them." he comments.

"I study people. That's all." I shrug.

"Try it. I bet you'll get an answer sooner or later." Yumichika urges gently.

"Oh fine. If it'll get you to shut up."

I perk up a little when the office door opens. Kotetsu and Zaraki step out, him with a scowl and her with a worried frown. "Just try it. It won't hurt, Captain Zaraki."

"Fine. Go away." he growls.

She shakes her head and waves at me before leaving the barracks. I raise an eyebrow. "That seems unusual."

"Oh, I'm sure she yelled at him." Yumichika laughs before getting to his feet. "Come on. Dinner should be ready by now. I believe they were making egg rolls."

"I love egg rolls."

"We know." Ikkaku sighs.

Zaraki is already heading to the mess hall. That's unusual. Apparently Kotetsu has really pissed him off. I walk with the men, listening to their chatter.

****Kenpachi POV****

Isane's bright idea is to drug her. I don't want to. Not only will she smell it but if she's sleepin' all the damn time, she won't be able to train or do anythin' useful. Course, she's not much better now, since she falls asleep every few hours. Isane warned me about a couple side effects that might not be too bad but I don't give a shit about those. I didn't really pay attention either. I'll hide it in her food tonight and maybe only give it to her every couple of days or so. I grab my plate and her plate before headin' to the table. I grumble as I pull a pill out of my pocket and pop it open, puttin' it in her food.

"Whatcha doin', Captain?" someone asks suspiciously.

"She ain't sleepin' due to nightmares so I've been ordered to drug her and see if it helps before they take her and put her in the infirmary for a few weeks." I sigh.

"Oh...it won't hurt her, will it?"

"Not supposed to. We'll see."

I stir her food up and wait. She's gunna hate me.

***Harmona POV***

I sit next to Zaraki and start eating. He has a funny look on his face. "They used too much pepper, I think but it's not that bad." I say, digging into the rice.

"That all? Thought I tasted somethin' funny. Maybe that's it." he grunts.

"What's got you in a bad mood?"

"I'm just irritated with havin' to pay repair costs to the infirmary again. Fuckin assholes tore it up."

He's lying a little. "Is there something else?"

"Not that I'm allowed to tell you. Eat your dinner then let's go take a bath."

I smile a little. "Bath sounds good right now. I've got a kink in my neck from throwing that fat jerk earlier."

"Shoulda stretched first." he teases.

I elbow him in the side before practically inhaling the rest of my food then throwing back the sake. "That was good, other than the pepper."

"I'll tell em to lay off next time."

Something doesn't feel right...I'm getting too hot all the sudden. Too hot and really fucking wet. "Did you drug me?" I ask quietly.

"Don't get mad. I told Isane you're havin' trouble sleepin' and she told me to put it in your food so you could sleep better." he says defensively.

"I'm not mad. I'm gunna go run the bath." I say before getting to my feet and dashing outside. When I get home, I tear my uniform off, not caring one bit that I'll have to pay for it. This drug is bad. My nerves are singing and I feel so hot and needy. He'd better hurry up. I get the bath running and even the feel of the water on my hand feels wrong. This is very very bad. What the fuck? Why would a sleeping medicine make me so goddamn horny? He's in for it when he gets home.


	14. Chapter 14

What the hell? I've never seen her excited for a bath before. In fact she's told me before she doesn't like baths as much as she does showers because she can't drown in a shower as easy. It had confused me at the time she said it then I put it off to maybe her not-father had tried to drown her in a bath once. She's never confirmed my suspicions, of course I haven't asked either. I finish eatin' and head out. Somethin' ain't right. I can't figure it out but I'm goin' to.

She left the front door open. That's unusual. Her uniform lays in the floor, practically shredded. I don't see any blood though, so I don't think anyone is in here hurtin' her. I hear the bath water runnin and head for the bedroom, stoppin' in my tracks. She's layin' in the bed, lookin' fevered but her hands are playin'. "Gettin' bored with the real thing, huh?" I ask, a little irritated.

"Kenpachi! Please! Fix it!" she begs.

"Fix what?"

"The sleeping medicine! Oh fuck! I'm so hot. Please come fix it."

Son of a bitch. So this was the side effect Isane was blushin' about and I wasn't listenin' to. "No, Wolf. I like seein' you spread open wide like that for me."

Her face flushes and she moans softly. Fuck, she's so damn wet it's runnin down her legs. I pull my haori off, quickly followed by my shihakushou. My cock is hard as a rock already. "Bath is gunna run over, Wolf."

"So go turn the water off." she sighs, not in irritation.

I do what she's ordered me to. It's not quite full yet. I'll have to drain a bit before we get in. It's steamin' hot though, so probably good we have a little distraction first. I go back to the bedroom and get back to the position I was in. Her eyes are closed as she plays with her nipples. Each pinch or pull makin' her hips rise. She's so fuckin' hot and wet right now. "Kenpachi, please!" she whines.

"Not yet, Wolf. Touch yourself. Feel how damn wet you are." I order huskily.

"I want you to touch me!"

"I will in a minute. You've never done this before. You might like it. And I want to see how you like bein' touched."

"You know how I like being touched."

"Just try it. Keep your eyes closed and imagine it's me touchin' you."

She slides her hand down her body slowly until she reaches her slit. She hesitates before touchin' herself, moanin' as she feels how slick she is. Her fingers circle around her clit, bringin' a moan outta her lips.

"That's it. Feel how good you feel?" I purr.

"I need you. Please." she moans before slidin' her hand down lower. I watch her slide two fingers in, a violent shudder makin' her body shake. More juice leaks outta her around her fingers as she rubs in and out, occasionally comin' back to tease her clit. I can't stand it anymore. I stalk over to the bed and latch onto her tit, my hand pushin' hers out of the way before sinkin' into her. She convulses around me immediately, moanin' through her orgasm. I don't go easy on her. Her tit is jigglin' in my mouth as I pound into her. I suck hard, flickin' my tongue over her nipple. "Kenpachi!"

I lift my head, starin' at her. She grabs my ears and pulls me down, kissin' me like there's not gunna be a tomorrow. Her hands move to my shoulders, her nails diggin' in before draggin' down my back. I moan, feelin' myself on the edge of explodin' in her. I bite her lip and the smart ass does it again. I feel a trickle of blood. She's completely out of it. "You want to get in the bath now?"

"No! I want you to keep fucking me! I need you to fill me up." she moans.

I slam into her as I give her what she wants. She screams as another orgasm rips through her, her cum and mine mixin' and floodin' back out of her. I let my elbows catch me as my body sinks down on her. "Bath is gettin' cold. Let's move in there."

"I need more."

"Bath. I've been wantin' to fuck you in the water."

"Carry me. I don't want you to pull out."

"Damn, that medicine made you more hot for me than you usually are, huh?" I laugh.

"Yes."

"When is your next time of bein' fertile?"

"Why?"

"I need to know."

She's quiet for a minute. "Okami says next week."

"Good."

I shift, liftin' her up with me and carryin' her to the bath. I only pull out long enough to sit down, then I pull her down on me, lodgin' my cock back inside her. I hold her hips, rockin' into her and take the other tit in my mouth when she leans forward. I feel her movin' on me, meetin' me thrust for thrust. My name is a prayer on her lips, just like I like it. I hear the water sloshin' out of the tub and realize I forgot to drain it a bit but this pussy is so damn good, I don't fuckin' care. Oh fuck! She tightened up on me. She screams my name finally, her whole body shiverin' as she cums for me again. I wait as long as I can stand it before lettin' go finally. She collapses on my chest, kissin' my throat softly.

"Better?"

"For now...I'm getting sleepy."

"Don't sleep yet. I'm gunna move you." I say before liftin' her and turnin' her around so she's layin' back against my chest. I grab the soap bottle and start washin' her. When I get between her legs she winces a little. It's swollen down here. I must've been a little rougher than I meant to be. I'm gentle with her as I wash her.

"Hey, why did you need to know when the next time is?" she asks suddenly.

"So I know not to give this shit to you that week."

"Oh."

She sounds a little sad. I don't like that. "The hell is the problem with that."

"It just means we can't have sex next week, even without the stuff Kotetsu gave you to make me sleep."

"You suck at lyin'."

"It's nothing. I'm just sleepy and getting a little cranky. I'm ok."

I take the cup I keep in the bath and rinse her. "Want your hair washed?"

"No. Yumichika is trying out a new conditioner that's supposed to stay in for twenty four hours. He put it in around lunch so I better not."

I roll my eyes. "Feather head knows best, huh?"

"No, I just don't like him fussing."

"Nobody does."

"Pachi...can I wear red?"

"For the weddin'?"

"I wanna wear blood red. It's such a pretty color."

"Wear whatever color you want, Wolf."

"Except pink! I hate pink!"

I chuckle. "Yeah, no pink."

As I finish washin' myself, I sit her up and rinse. "Sit there for a minute." I say before gettin' out of the bath and throwin' a couple towels down on the floor. I go change the bed sheet, again. Damn woman. I love how she squirts but damn is it annoyin' havin' to change the bed sheet all the time. Once that's done, I go back in the bathroom. She's wobblin', barely keepin' herself up. I lift her to her feet before wrappin' a towel around her. "You ok?"

"Sleepy." she mumbles.

I lift her in my arms. "Let's go to bed. That drug should help you sleep without nightmares."

"Good. Hey, Pachi?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"Love you too."

She's out already. I hope she sleeps through the night tonight. I need a good night's sleep. The past week has been terrible with her nightmares...

***Harmona POV***

I wake covered in sweat. Zaraki is wrapped around me like a dragon guarding his hoard. I don't think that's what woke me though. No. His dick is between my legs and his hips are moving a little now and then. He's asleep though, judging by his breathing. It's early morning, judging by the faint light in the sky though the window. He jerks again and I take matters into my own hands. I shift my body carefully until he's lodged inside me. He groans in his sleep and I catch his hand, moving it to my breast. He grips it tightly as he wakes. I grind my hips on him, moaning as I feel him come to full attention inside me.

"Well now, what're you doin' to me, woman?" he purrs as he kisses the back of my neck.

"You started it." I moan softly.

He finishes it too, taking control of my hips and pounding into me. His hand travels down to my clit, stroking methodically. "I like this method of wakin' up, Wolf. You look so damn good when my cock is inside you, makin' you feel good." 

"Kenpachi, don't stop!" I whimper, feeling my orgasm building to it's peak.

"I never stop, do I?" he growls, his movements becoming harder inside me. A few minutes longer and I scream as my orgasm crashes over me with the force of a tsunami. He stops and I feel his release inside me. "That's a first." he says after a minute.

"Hmm?"

"You didn't spray me."

"I didn't drink enough yesterday. I'm sorry."

"I ain't complainin'. You slept good, that's more important."

I pull myself off of him before rolling over and kissing him. "Are you really sure you're going to marry me? Marriage is a big step and who knows? I might go batshit crazy soon and have to be exterminated."

"You're about as funny as a case of the shits."

My nose wrinkles. "Gross!"

He laughs. "You ain't goin' anywhere. I marryin' you cause I want to and to keep any other men from fuckin' with you. You're mine, woman. For good. I don't give a shit if you go crazy one day. I'll be right there goin' crazy with you....hey, why're you sweatin' so bad?"

"I'm hot."

He claps a hand to my forehead and frowns. "You shouldn't be sweatin' like this. You don't feel fevered."

"Maybe I had one and it broke already. Okami says I'm fine now, whatever that means."

"He better be right. Last thing I need is for you to get sick."

I bite my lip, not wanting to tell him about something that happened yesterday. I had already been pissed off yesterday when Omeyeda pulled the grabbing my ass stunt. I'd gotten stung by something. I hadn't felt right since, but Okami had said nothing was wrong, so I let it pass. Now I'm not so sure. I didn't see what it was and therefore, had assumed it was probably a bug but now I'm not so sure. I decide it's not worth mentioning and kiss him again. "I'll be alright. Okami is always right when it comes to my health."

****Seireitei Market District****

Yumichika and I are window shopping, trying to get a feel for my fashion sense. I'm not sure I have one. I mean...well, I've never worn anything but black or blood stains. How the hell should I know what I like or dislike. However, as we walk by a store, something catches my eye so I stop. Yumichika takes a minute to notice. The kimono before me is beautiful, though not blood red. It's the lavender color of our squad with beautiful golden lotus flowers on it. And long sleeved too. Yumichika looks back and forth between it and me. "Want to go try it on?" he asks, seeming to already know the answer.

As we walk inside, the man behind the counter greets Yumichika with familiarity and I notice the feathers in the display case. "Back for more, Yumichika?" he asks brightly.

"Not today, though I will stock up soon, I promise. Your feathers are beautiful indeed." Yumichika responds.

"I see you've taken to wearing the blue and yellow ones. They highlight your eyes, young friend."

"We actually came here to look at your kimonos. Particularly that lavender one in the window."

"Ah! I just got that in from the world of the living this morning. I've seen many ladies coming to the window but none have stopped in. Does your lady friend wish to try it on?"

"Oh, no. She's not my lady friend." Yumichika chuckles. "This is the fiance of Captain Zaraki. Harmona Mori, the Wolf of Squad Eleven."

The man bows deeply to me. "It is an honor to meet such a beautiful soul. I am Ryuudin Akimichi. Come, let me take your measurements and I will help you find the perfect kimono. I have a few different sizes of the lavender one you're gazing at to fondly too."

"Thank you." I say quietly.

"You go with him, Harmona. I'll come over here and take a look to see if there are other options you might be interested in." Yumichika urges, giving me a gentle push.

"Come, this way. Any friend of Yumichika is a friend of mine."

I follow Mr. Akimichi to the fitting rooms in the back as he takes out his tape measure. "Spread your arms like a bird, please." I do as he's asked and soon enough, the measurements are done. "Ah, you're in luck. I have several kimonos, including the lavender one, that will fit you. You wait right here. I'll select a few and come back."

I nod. "Alright. I'll wait." 

He smiles and hurries off. Within a few minutes, he and Yumichika come back with a few kimonos, laying them all out on a bench in the fitting room. "Now, Harmona, you go try these on. Come out and let me look at you. I need to see which one looks best and that way I can picture what I'm going to do to your hair." Yumichika orders.

"Yes, master." I tease before closing the curtain. The one on the top of the pile is a navy blue with peacocks on it. Yumichika had to have picked it, considering his zanpakutou's name means Wisteria Peacock. However, it's strange that when he says it, he smells like a lie every time. I wonder if there's a trick to his sword. I put it on anyway and look in the mirror. Too much blue, with my hair and eyes. I don't care for it but I step out to show Yumichika anyway.

"Nope! No! I don't know what I was thinking but that clashes with your hair. Next!" Yumichika shouts, making me laugh. I'm relieved though. I change out of it and hang it back on it's hanger before donning a spring green robe that are a close color to Zaraki's eyes. This one has sakura blossoms on it. I don't like it at all, though it is pretty. Just not my cup of sake. I don't even get to step out before Yumichika shakes his head and jabs his finger towards the fitting room again.

The next one is white with orange and red koi. I like it, but not enough to wear to my wedding. I step out and Yumichika thinks for a moment. "What do you think?"

"Well, I like it, but...it's not grabbing me like the lavender one did." I say honestly.

"That's what I thought. You don't have quite the same sparkle in your eyes. Oh, just go put the lavender one on. Let me see."

I hurry to do as he's asked and, seeing myself in the mirror, it instantly brings Zaraki to mind, as captain of squad eleven and his reiatsu is yellow. It's like an imaginary hug from him, the silk sliding over my skin like the gentle caress of his hand on my back after a nightmare. I love it. I walk out and Yumichika has a startled look on his face for a moment. "Surely you've switched places with the grouchy creature I brought in here. Where's our wolf at, hmm?" he teases, standing and circling me. "My dear, I've never seen you look as beautiful as you do right now. Zaraki is a very lucky man. This is it. This one."

"I agree. My dear lady, you look like an angel. For you, no charge if you let me take a picture and display it on my wall of beauties. You'll notice Matsumoto is there several times, but even she pales in comparison to you right now." Ryuudin says, smiling brightly.

"I can't possibly take this for free!" I say.

"You can. I insist."

"Very well. Take your picture but, as this is my wedding kimono, do me a favor and don't display it until after the wedding in January. I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"It would be my honor. However, you need shoes."

My face falls immediately. "No."

"Have I said something?"

"Harmona doesn't wear shoes. They bother her." Yumichika says, wrapping an arm around me gently. "I have an idea though. Those sandals you make and no one has bought. They aren't real shoes so they shouldn't bother her."

"Ahh, yes, that would work. They're a bit plain for wedding wear though."

"Zaraki's bells. Can we add them to them?" I ask.

"He threw them away ages ago." Yumichika says sadly.

"No, he didn't. I found them in the closet."

"I can add the bells. It would be my pleasure." Ryuudin says, his smile coming back.

"I'll deliver them whenever you need them. Just send the word."

A flash startles me as the picture is taken. "There. All done. You will make a beautiful bride, my friend."

"Thank you." I say, blushing...

"Well, that's one big hurdle out of the way already." Yumichika says. We'd stayed to look at the different versions of the barefoot sandals Ryuudin made and I finally decided on one that looks rather like a large snowflake. The bells will fit nicely on it and I bet it will make Zaraki smile.

"Are you sure?" I ask quietly.

"Harmona, darling, you looked radiant in that dress. Your eyes practically glowed with joy. You were meant to wear it, my dear. Why do you doubt it?"

"I don't doubt it, I just...you and Zaraki are the only ones who've ever called me beautiful, Yumichika. It's hard to believe. That's all."

"We wouldn't take the time to lie about it. You'd smell it if we did, darling. Zaraki especially." he says gently.

"That's true."

"Now, what do you plan to wear on your wedding night?"

"Uhm...am I supposed to wear something special?"

He has a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Oh, you have so much to learn. I know a special shop here that caters to all tastes. Do you know any particular thing he likes seeing you in?"

"Uhm...well...no. He likes me naked. He doesn't really look at what I'm wearing so I just have cotton panties and regular bras."

"Oh no! This won't do." he growls, grabbing my wrist and dragging me off in a hurry.

****Kenpachi POV****

I glance at the clock. That goddamn Yumichika dragged her off after lunch and hasn't come back since. I sent him out to deliver reports to princess Kuchiki hours ago. That fuckin' idiot better not let her get into trouble. I'm still worried about her. And, of course, someone I really don't have the patience for steps in.

"Zaraki, may I have a word with you?" Mayuri asks.

"The hell do you want?" I snap.

"Your wolf. Well, to go over the test results to be exact."

"What fuckin' tests?"

"Oh, she didn't tell you she got stung by something yesterday?"

"Would that have anythin' to do with her havin' a damn fever durin' the night?"

"Well, possibly. I wasn't meaning to harm her though, of course I don't think any real harm was done. She's not what you think she is."

"The hell are you sayin'?"

"Zaraki...her blood doesn't match Captain Mori's at all. It matches-"

"I know. Shunsui told me. Ukitake is her dad."

"Yes but she's also not just a soul reaper."

"What?"

"I've ran the tests several times. Her DNA was spliced with a werewolf. That's why she is able to stay in wolf form for so long. She also has something else in her. It's not in her blood but...something in her reiatsu. Hers is blue, however, we got a sample of black too."

"I know what it is. I ain't tellin' you though."

"Oh, so you'd rather me spread around that she's a Hollow?"

"She ain't a fuckin' Hollow."

"Then what is it? Tell me or I will spread that ugly rumor around."

"A demon. Now go away."

"Interesting. I shall have to study her some more, you know."

"Not happenin'."

"It will. Sooner or later. Just you wait."

He's gone before I can throw somethin' at him. Shit. I need to find her! I'm on my feet and out the door in seconds.

****Harmona POV****

I'm blushing. "Yumichika, what in the hell are we doing here?" I hiss.

"Taking your relationship from innocent to dirty, though we all know you two are enjoying sex. Trust me, you'll enjoy it better with some things to give him eye candy."

"Oh, Yumichika! This is a bad idea!" I whimper.

"Nonsense. Trust me. We'll do a test run for a couple days and see what he gets attracted by the most, then on your wedding night you'll have him hook, line and sinker."

"You're dirty minded!"

I stare at the daunting racks of sexy lingerie, my face heating up a few more degrees. I've seen things like this in Shunsui's stash that one time but never imagined myself wearing such things....however...maybe Yumichika is right. Men like variety, I'm sure. I follow Yumichika shyly and notice some other women in here glancing at me. I glare at them.

"Hmm, I've seen you naked before so I have some ideas." Yumichika says teasingly.

"Zaraki is going to kill you for bringing me in here, Yumichika." I hiss.

"Nonsense. He'll be too busy drooling over you."

"And on me, probably."

"Very likely."

His hand flashes out to a bra and pantie set that have holes in them....oh shit. There's a string of pearls in the panties that would be right up against my clit. "Wouldn't those be uncomfortable?" I ask.

"No. Trust me, these would keep you hot for him more than you usually are." he smirks. "And I happen to know Zaraki likes seeing black panties on pale skin. He let it slip once when he wasn't paying attention to a question I asked. It was pretty funny."

"You don't mean Captain Zaraki, do you?" one of the girls asks shyly.

"Yes. This is his fiance." Yumichika answers, matter of factly.

"Wow. You've got some balls, that's for sure." the other one giggles.

"So what?" I ask.

"Nothing at all. He likes it dirty. So get the sluttiest lingerie you can get. Body like yours, he'll be all over you worse than when he fights."

"Not that she needs the help." Yumichika snaps.

"Oh, relax, Yumichika. We can see that." the first says.

"Ignore them, Harmona. They used to have a crush on our captain and failed miserably when it came to bedding him." I feel sick suddenly but fight it. So I'm not what he wants really. He wants slutty broads like this? That hurts a little. Yumichika notices my face. "Stop whatever you're thinking. You're what he needs. Anyone can see that. You're not afraid of him. You fight him. You let him be rough with you without complaint."

Am I really though...?

****Kenpachi POV****

I can't find her anywhere!? Damn this is infuriatin'! I round another corner and dash down another street. Where the fuck did Yumichika take her!? Another right and I spot blue. I charge toward it and plow a few people over. She turns right as I get near her and gives me a smile, though it doesn't reach her eyes. Yumichika is carryin' a few bags beside her. "Sorry, Captain. We got side tracked looking for wedding things." he says sheepishly.

I grab her chin. "What's wrong?" I growl. Somethin' happened, I can tell.

"I'm ok. Shopping is tiresome, that's all." she makes the weak excuse.

I glance at Yumichika who looks distressed. "We, uh, met a couple of your failed flings and they said something that bothered her, but I don't know what. I was standing next to her the entire time."

"Harm-"

She snarls at me. "No. You don't call me that. That fucking bitch is dead and buried!" she screams before turnin' and stompin' off. Several people stop to stare at her.

"What did they say?" I ask Yumichika as I follow behind her, givin' her space.

"They told her she has balls for marrying you and said she doesn't look slutty enough for you so they were trying to give her advice. I told her not to listen but we all know how hard headed she can be." he sighs.

"Shit." We follow her all the way back to the barracks and Yumichika breaks off to put the bags in the house. Harmona, however, heads to the training ground. I follow her. Normally when she's upset, she goes to her damn tree. I grab her shoulder and turn her to face me. "Talk to me, Wolf."

"Nothing to talk about." she growls.

"Obviously there is."

"Why? Why do you even want me!? I'm nothing! I'm obviously not slutty enough for you, judging by those two creeps we met earlier. I'm not what you need. I'm weak and stupid and obviously gullible, thinking you, of all people, would love me. Nobody can love me. Why in the hell did I ever think I could be what you need?" she yells, punchin' my chest at the end of each sentence. She isn't hurtin' me. Not at all.

I catch her fist. "Wolf, you are what I want and need. I need a woman who fights with me without fear. Someone who talks to me like an equal, not like she's below me. Someone who enjoys the fun of fightin' and isn't afraid of a little pain. Someone who can fuck me willingly and enjoy it. I need you, Wolf." I growl.

"No, you don't."

I pull her into my arms and kiss her. "Yes, I fuckin' do. Do I smell like I'm lyin'?"

"No....I need a fight, Kenpachi. I need to clear my head."

I push her away and draw Nozarashi. "Then let's fight. But I want your damn sword out this time, Wolf. I need to see how you move.

She nods and suddenly her sword appears in her hand. The hilt is royal blue while the blade itself is the same color as her hair, like a damn dangerous sapphire. "Let's spar, Captain."

"As you wish, fourth seat."


	15. Chapter 15

Inside, everything hurts. My brain hurts. My heart hurts. I could never be what he needs, no matter what he says. It doesn't matter that he's not lying. Zaraki has never been in love before so he wouldn't know what he needs. I take a deep breath, trying to shake off the gloom as I focus on him. We stand here, staring at each other for a few moments before I finally move, losing patience. He meets me and sparks begin flying.

"Come on, Wolf. You're holdin' back." he growls.

"Shut up!" I yell. I see an opening and take it, spinning around him and managing to cut his shoulder...but it's not deep. Barely a scratch.

"That all you got in you today?" he asks, sounding rather bored.

"Hell no! I'm just playing with you!" I scream defiantly. My reiatsu flares violently and I fully focus on this fight. His grin lets me know he's ready.

****Kenpachi POV****

I see the change come over her. I prodded her on purpose. If her head ain't in the fight, she won't be any good. I'm trainin' her, in a way. If I can get her to shut her mind down automatically instead of lettin' it eat her up, it'll help not only with her fightin' but with her sleep too, I'm sure. She launches an attack in a flurry of movements. Fuck yeah. She's movin' so fast she's hard to keep up with, honestly. She manages to cut the back of my hand and blood flies, splatterin' on her chest that she leaves partially exposed. I pay her back with a cut to the ribs. "Keep your guard up, Wolf!"

Her eyes meet mine and distract me for a moment. Both are yellow, just like they were on the battlefield the other day. Does this mean her demon is gunna come out?

***Harmona POV***

"Let me kill him." my demon whispers in my ear.

I shake my head. "No."

"No what?" Zaraki asks.

"Get out of my head!" I yell irritably. My demon goes silent and I take a few deep breaths before meeting Zaraki's stern gaze. "Someone wants to kill you. I can't let him."

"So let him out."

I charge at him, our swords meeting with a loud clang. "No! This is my fight."

"Then get your fuckin' head in the game!" he roars, grabbing my wrist and throwing me. I careen into the wall of the training ground, shattering the stones as if they were made of dust. "Woman, when you're fightin', plant your goddamn feet like you're a tree. I know you've heard Ikkaku tell the newbies that."

I climb out of the rubble, fighting the feeling of shame for disappointing him. I take a few deep breaths with my eyes closed. Focus, Wolf. Focus on this fight. Prove yourself wrong. You know you're worth it. He's trying to show you you're worth it. Fight! Fight for him! Now! Open your eyes and fight!

I open my eyes and nod. "I'm ready now, Captain." I say,adjusting my grip and shifting my feet a little, planting them. Okami gives an approving nod in my mind.

"You sure? You seem to be distracted by your brain."

"Would have to have one to be distracted."

"If you're sure then let's dance, Wolf."

"Don't know much about dancing, sir. Don't really wanna learn either. Dancing is stupid."

"Don't tell Ikkaku that. He might get his panties in a bunch."

"I hear he's a free baller, Captain, so no panties to get in a bunch."

He laughs before coming at me again. More sparks as our swords collide. I'm sweating, keeping up with him is exhausting, but I'm having fun. We're both laughing, the bliss of being cut and cutting each other getting to our heads. Maybe...no, not maybe. I am what he needs. Our blood mixes on the ground, making it slick in some spots.

"Much better, Wolf!" he grunts when I mange to stab him in the leg.

"Thanks but it'll be over soon." I sigh. My arms are shaking. I'm exhausted. It's dark out and I haven't even eaten since breakfast.

In fact, his next move finishes it. I can't quite follow him and his sword pierces my side between my ribs, passing through my right lung. Black spots dance in my eyes and Okami clatters to the ground. I grip Zaraki's wrist to keep from falling.

"Shit! Harmona, I can't pull it or your lung is gunna collapse." he says.

"Captain!" Yumichika screams. "Ikkaku, get a medic!"

The men crowd around us. I let go of Zaraki's wrist, blood spilling from between my lips. With a grunt I throw myself backwards, freeing his sword. "I told you...not to...call me that." I growl, extremely pissed.

"Stay still, Wolf!" he orders.

"Fuck you!"

****Kenpachi POV****

Her reiatsu spikes, crackin' the ground and burnin' everyone close to us. They back away, fear in their eyes. Shit, blood is pourin' outta her mouth and side. I reach for her and she bites my hand, breakin' my pinkie finger. Her eyes meet mine. They're yellow again. "Let go, Wolf." I order.

She snarls, her teeth and nails changin'. Her ears and tail come out too and her sword disappears from the ground. She's on me suddenly, pushin' me back with her claws. I drop Nozarashi and start fightin' her with bare fists. She's fast, landin' as many blows as she's takin'. It's not like last time either. She's landin' punches without breakin' anything. Her eyes, though yellow, are startin' to glaze. She's fuckin' exhausted. I catch her fists and press my mouth to hers. She growls a little, but I feel the tension leave as her fists unfurl. There's a lot of blood in her mouth, each breath bringin' a little more. I release her hands and curl a finger at Ikkaku. He stalks over on silent feet. I make a choppin' motion with my hand and he understands. He strikes her a swift blow to the back of the head, knockin' her completely out. I catch her as she starts to fall. I lay her down and get her part her kodode and shitagi. Blood pours from the wounds so I ball the cloth up. "Ikkaku, I'll roll her up. Get this under her back." I order.

Baldy hurries to kneel down and helps get it under her wound. I use the other to press against her ribs. "Sir, what did she mean?"

"About callin' her Harmona?"

"Yeah."

"That's her name. She hates bein' called that. Sometimes I slip up and do it on accident."

"Why does she hate her name so bad?"

"She was abused as a kid. She said the girl she was before was weak and stupid and she buried her. To her, callin' her by her name is an insult because you're callin' her weak. I can tell you, though she doesn't believe me, Harmona ain't buried. I see little flashes of the kid she shoulda been able to be sometimes."

"Sir?"

"Don't mind me. Just thinkin' out loud and not makin' any sense." I lift the cloth a little. "She's healin'. I think she'll be ok."

"Good."

"Of course she is healing. What do you expect? Me to let her die?"

My head snaps up and my eye meets those blood red pools I'm used to, though this wolf is bigger than her by a lot. She's only six feet on all fours. This one is around nine. "Okami?"

It sits. "Very good. You're smarter than you look, alpha."

"How can you spring out? She's unconscious!" I snap.

"I'm magic. However, on a serious note, I came to warn you that you may want to put her in the infirmary tonight. Her demon is on a terrible rampage and, as you figured out during the battle the other day, if it is injured, she gets the wound too."

"Why?"

"The demon is chained directly into her soul. If he is destroyed, she will die."

Blood splatters my face suddenly and Ikkaku curses. I turn my attention back to her. Her belly is laid open. "Okami, how can we get that thing out of her?" I ask.

"I'm not sure if there is a way...Kisuke Urahara might know."

"Why would he know?" Ikkaku asks.

"He's a smart man. And she won't trust the blue beetle who took over his place. We hate that thing." Okami growls.

"Everybody hates him." I chuckle. I lift Harmona into my arms. "Ikkaku, stay here. I'm takin' her in. However, send a message to Shunsui to meet me there."

"Yes, sir!"

***Infirmary***

I hate seein' her like this. All the IVs in her arms, the oxygen over her face. And Isane sittin' guard with me, jumpin' up each time a new wound appears to heal her. The room has been sealed so nobody can come in or out and she's been stripped of all her clothes except her panties and bra. A knock on the door signals Shunsui is here. Isane sighs tiredly and lets him in before redoin' the seals. "What the hell happened!?" he yells at me.

"We had a spar after Yumichika brought her home from shoppin'. She heard somethin' from a couple girls that slept with me before and it was botherin' her. She asked for a fight. I gave her one. She was doin' great then all the sudden she dropped her guard and I got her in the lung. Okami popped up outta nowhere and said to bring her here."

He sighs. "The demon, right?"

"You knew about this!?" Isane shouts.

"I knew about it but thought for sure it would've bonded with her over the last two hundred years."

A whimper of pain and we all focus on her, watchin' as four claws marks run down her left thigh, blood sprayin'. Isane jumps into action, usin' kaido to heal her. Okami growls from the corner. "That is so unpleasant."

"Is that Okami?" Shunsui asks.

"Yep." I grumble.

Okami walks over and lays his head across her stomach. "She must see Kisuke Urahara. And find the disgusting creature who raised her and causes her inner turmoil."

"He's dead." Shunsui states.

"No. The thing she killed was a doll. He is still very much alive. But to defeat him, this demon must be separated from her. It is slowly wearing her down. Her mind and spirit are being lost. Especially now."

"Why now?"

"She is afraid of Alpha Zaraki. She loves him dearly but she fears him too."

"Why? I've never done anythin' to hurt her outside of sparrin'." I snap.

"Because you are her greatest weakness now. She has never been loved before. She doesn't even love herself. Her demon knows this and fills her head with doubt. Why she listens to it, I don't know. Perhaps because that's all she ever heard as a child."

Isane sighs. "This, right here, is why I asked for her to be placed in the infirmary two months ago. She's clearly not right in the head."

"Her head is fine, healer woman!" Okami snarls.

"Mommy....don't go!" Harmona screams suddenly. She starts sobbin' giant tears fallin' down her cheeks.

"You see? He causes the nightmares. They are his weapons. He pulls her worst memories to the front of her mind and makes her relive them."

"Can you do anything?" Shunsui asks.

"She needs Kisuke Urahara. For now, I will go and try to stop him. Alpha, do not fight her again. Not for a few days. Her heart is hurting badly right now and she's thinking of disappearing soon. Convince her to stay."

"How?"

"Give her a reason. She told you when she's in heat next."

"So?"

"You are just as dumb as you look." he growls before disappearin'.

"I think he was suggesting you get her knocked up to trap her into staying." Isane spits.

"Not gunna happen. Kids shouldn't be used as weapons and I don't want kids." I grumble.

"Does she know that?"

"I've told her I don't want kids. She got kinda sad after but didn't fuss about it."

"She loves kids. Even as a kid. Jushiro would have his swords come out to play with her sometimes before she started talking. That's how we convinced her that toys were ok, honestly. She'd never seen one before and was terrified of them." Shunsui sighs.

"Captain Kyorakou, I really think she needs to stay here for a few days. Please."

"No. She'd tear this place apart, Isane." I growl.

"Zaraki, she needs help. I think she should stay too."

"Fine. It's your damn funeral."

****Harmona POV****

"Let me out! I want to go home!" I scream yet again before throwing myself at the door. It's sealed, of course, but it doesn't prevent me from trying. I've shredded as much of the room as possible...except for the window. Hmm. That's a good idea. I've been stuck here for a week. No visitors allowed. Mental testing being done. Fuck it. I'll show them mental. I shift into my wolf and make a mad dash for the window. I hear a frantic shout right as I crash through the glass. Stupid idiots. A wild animal will escape it's prison any way possible. However...glass in my paws really doesn't feel good. I don't have time to waste. I run for it.

I hear the medics running after me, shouting at me to stop. I refuse. I decide to confuse them and turn down a dead end ally in the market district. From there, I'm airborne as I climb onto the roofs. No one ever thinks to look up. I travel along the roof tops all the way back to the barracks and leap toward the gates. They don't budge. He locked me out? I don't have time for this. I pace along the wall and look up. That's it. I'll just climb the damn wall. Easy, right?

It takes me nearly twenty minutes to climb the wall but I manage finally. However, what I see below stops me in my tracks. Zaraki is having a drinking party, his arm thrown around a strange woman. The men seem ok though...he's replaced me already. I knew he would. I sigh sadly and climb down the stairs on the inside of the wall. I manage to sneak my way through the shadows to my tree before laying down. I hate this city. It's full of liars and painful memories.

"So, Cap'n, when are they gunna let us have our wolf back?" Maki Maki asks.

"No damn clue. That fuckin' captain of theirs refuses to let me see her or answer any questions. It's pissin' me off. I can't fuckin' sleep without her."

"Wait, what did I miss, big brother? Did Zaraki get cloned or something?" the woman asks.

"No. He found a woman to marry." Ikkaku chuckles. "Never thought I'd see the day. She's literally a female version of him, minus a few quirks."

"So why do the stupid medics have her?"

"She's half feral and they think she's batshit crazy." Zaraki sighs.

"Is she?"

"No, Shino. Well, she is but not in a bad way." Yumichika says. "I miss her."

"We all do, feather head." Zaraki growls.

I smell no lies. So...he's not with this small woman? I sneak as close to the group as I can without the light of the fire revealing me. I forget one simple fact though.

"Uh...sir...either I'm seeing things or there's eyeballs behind you." Maki Maki whimpers.

I give him no time to react, letting instinct take over as I pounce on him, knocking him off the office stairs and causing him to roll a few feet, where I perch on his back and howl my victory. The men crowd around and hug or pet my head affectionately.

"That's your wolf? Geeze she's big." the girl says.

"Yeah, she's big. Skinny but big. Anyway, welcome home, Shino. If I were you, I'd get back to your barracks though. It's late."

"Oh fine."

"Wolf, get the hell off me! Your nails are cuttin' me to pieces, dumb ass!" Zaraki snaps.

I step off and tuck my tail. I just can't do anything right. He rolls over and opens his mouth but he glances down. Blood on the ground makes him curse. He sits up and grabs a paw, cursing again when he notices the damage. "Somebody get me some damn tweezers." he orders. "You ain't supposed to be here, are you?"

I shift again, whimpering a little. "No. I jumped out the window. They wouldn't let me come home."

"And you came all the way here with glass in your feet!?"

"I'm sorry!"

He pauses, staring at my face. After a moment he sighs and grabs my feet, placing them in his lap. "I'm not mad."

"Took you long enough, Wolf." Yumichika teases, handing Zaraki a pair of tweezers and the gauze out of the medical bag from the office.

"Long enough to what?" I ask.

"To break out and come home. Here I thought you'd been tamed to domestication. I'm glad to be proven wrong."

"Tame my ass. She's no tamer than she was when we found her." Ikkaku chuckles.

"Good. We don't need a tame woman here. Not at all. The wilder the better."

I hear small clinks of the glass in a bowl and watch Zaraki as he removes the shards of glass. With each piece removed, Okami heals the hole immediately, making it easier for Zaraki to tell if he's missed any. He's quiet. I don't like it when he's quiet. Once he gets done with my left foot he gets to work on the right. I focus on my hands and pick the glass out. There's only two pieces in the left and one in my right hand. I toss them into the bowl and wait on Zaraki to get done before pulling away. I retreat to my tree and look up at the stars.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's been gone a week and the only greetin' I get is pounced on? What the hell? Well, I did yell at her, so maybe that's why she's bein' quiet. When she goes to her tree, I watch her. I can't see her once she leaves the fire light but I know damn good and well where she went in that direction.

"Sir, I think you should go talk to her." Yumichika says. "I'm sure she's confused and I must say your greeting wasn't exactly warm."

"I don't need your damned advice." I snap before gettin' to my feet and followin' her over to the tree. "Come on, Wolf."

"I think...I better stay here. I've upset you again." she says softly.

"I ain't upset. You caught me by surprise, which is pretty damn hard to do. Come on."

"Why? I'm just a wild animal. Not worth taking home. I might bite you or something."

I crouch down, gettin' in her face. "Maybe I wanna be bit. Maybe I just want my woman back in my arms where she belongs. Mostly I want you where I can see you, since they refused to let me visit."

"And you didn't tear the infirmary down?"

I laugh a little. "I was warned that if I did, I'd be thrown in the cells for a month. You know these guys. They can't be without a strict boss or they'd run around like chickens with their heads cut off."

For the second damn time tonight, she pounces on me. I land on my back and her lips crash against mine. I wrap my arms around her, crushin' her against my body. She's tremblin' and somethin' wet hits my cheek. Tears? She's never cried on me before, only when I've caught her when she's alone. I bury my hand in her sapphire hair and pull her head up. "Let's go home, Wolf. I could use a bath and you could too. You smell like the infirmary. Disinfectant is a real turn off. I'm worried you'll burn a hole in my skin."

"Sorry I stink."

I roll so she's under me. "I'll wash you up real good. You don't stink, you just don't smell like my wolf."

"You can smell me?" she seems a little surprised.

"I've always had a good nose. Not as good as yours, of course. Yes, I can smell you. I love how you smell normally." I say before kissin' her. "Blood and honeysuckle. It's a heady combination." She smiles at me. "There's my woman. You look fit to marry now, with a smile on your face."

"Oh, shut up. I already said yes." she giggles.

I kiss her again. "Let's go take a bath." I get on my feet and lift her into my arms. "This hospital gown ain't that sexy either. What were you thinkin', wearin' it outta there?" I tease.

"Oh, you know, just trying to make a fashion statement. It's pretty breezy in the back." she giggles again.

"Breezy, huh? Well now, we can't have that. I should be the only one seein' your skin."

"Oh, so you want me to wrap myself up in a blanket and run around, huh?"

"No. I meant you're my woman and I don't want other men lookin' at your skin. I get jealous because I know they're thinkin' about you naked and what they can do with your body."

"But you're the only man I want doing anything to my body....by the way, Shunsui is at the gate. Along with the squad four idiots that were chasing me."

"That damn cock blocker!" I set her down on her feet. "Go home, Wolf. I'll be there in a minute."

She kisses me. Soft and gentle. It's different from usual but I kinda like it. Then she turns and I see what she means by breezy. Fuck me. Her ass looks damn good, especially with those damn mile long legs leadin' up to it.

"Allow me to mop up the drool, Captain." Yumichika teases. "We have guests. You go deal with that. I'll go sit with her and make sure she's ok."

"Don't let her leave." I order.

"Oh, that lovely way she's walking, not a care in the world that that delectable backside is on display for the entire world to see, I highly doubt she's going anywhere at all." He laughs. "Don't worry. I see that look. I won't touch her other than to tame that hair."

"You better not."

***Harmona POV***

I hear the yelling outside from the area of the barracks gate and laugh. He's madder than a wet hornet. Yumichika laughs too as he follows me onto the porch. "I'd hate to be those idiots."

"Same."

"Let's get your hair fixed and I've hidden those lingerie items we bought last week. Let's get you in one. You have no idea just how irritating he's been."

"What do you mean?"

"Short tempered, moody, drinking more than usual and grouchy. My dear girl, the man loves you. There's no hiding it. He even said he just wanted you home."

"Well, I'm home now. Here to stay too...as long as he'll let me."

"Oh, he'll let you stay as long as you live. Trust me. I've never seen him care for another person like he cares for you. It's...heart warming. Now, go sit. Hair first. Then sexy outfit."

I giggle. "Alright. You're the boss for now."

"Indeed, I am!" he says, giving me a mischievous wink before sashaying to the bathroom. I can't stop laughing.

****Kenpachi POV****

"She needs to come back to the infirmary. Now, Kenpachi!" Isane yells at me.

"Not happenin'. Obviously she doesn't wanna be there." I say, crossin' my arms. "You want her, fight me."

"Zaraki, it's for her own good. Don't you see that?" Shunsui sighs.

"No. I don't. Tell me somethin, Isane. Is your therapy doin' any good?"

"Well, no...she refuses to talk and stopped eating." she admits softly.

"So what good is bein' in there doin?"

"She just needs to be separated from you for longer than a week! She'd be fine if not for you!"

"No. You shut your fuckin' mouth right there, woman. She'd be fine if not for her mom lettin' her get abused all her fuckin' life. She'd be fine if you and central forty six would leave her the hell alone. I got her to come outta her wolf. I'm gettin' her to talk to me about what happened. She's fine in my care!" I roar. "She's marryin' me by her own choice. You're still mad I killed your damn captain and are lookin' for revenge in your own fuckin' way. I'm not as damn stupid as I act! I told you. Hate me. Let it build up then come and kill me, Isane. But you're not fuckin' with her anymore. She's my woman and I'm not lettin' her outta my sight again."

Silence. The group of peons stare at me. I won't budge. Not one goddamn bit. Shunsui finally smiles. "Well, that's all the convincing I need that you're serious about her. I've seen that look before. You've changed my mind, old friend. I'm going home for some sake. Isane, why don't you join me?"

"I, uh...yes. I'm sorry." the woman says softly, before hangin' her head.

"Zaraki...go take care of my kid, ok?"

"Tch. Like I need encouragement." I growl. I stay right where I am though until they leave. I wait until they're all the way out of sight before turnin' and closin' the gate behind me. Goddamn assholes, tryin' to take my mate from me....wait a minute. Mate? Where the fuck did that come from? Nozarashi laughs in my head but says nothin'. Son of a bitch. This soul chain. That must be why I'm thinkin' in wolf terms....oh well. Not like it's a big damn deal.

"See you later, Wolf." Yumichika calls over his shoulder as he leaves my house.

"She ok?"

"Oh, she's fine. I think you may want to hurry home though. She's rather impatient to have some alone time with you, sir." he says, winkin' at me. I suppress a growl. Damn idiot.

I climb the stairs to the porch and open the door.

"Welcome home, Kenpachi. I'm glad you didn't keep me waiting too long."

I look up and the table and my heart instantly starts beatin' faster. This woman is a fuckin' devil...guess I'll go to hell happy though.


	16. Chapter 16

I'm laying on the table, my hands behind my head and my legs spread open for him. I laugh seeing his expression. Yumichika had picked nicely, I think. A neon green bra which barely covers my nipples with a few well placed large rhinestones and a g-string with large rhinestones to hide my pussy. I kept myself trimmed before but...Yumichika went haywire down there with some sort of hair removing lotion. Zaraki's staring, wide eyed...and tented. This makes me giggle, which snaps him out of it.

"Well now, are you dressin' up for me, Wolf?"

I nod. "I missed you."

He steps closer and leans over me, placing his hands beside my head. "And what exactly are you wantin' me to do with this skimpy little outfit here? You can't go out wearin' it. Hell, I don't think I'd be able to pull outta you long enough for you to try. That what you wanted?"

I nod again.

"You expectin' me to fuck you here? On the table?"

"I don't care where, just do it!" I groan. 

"Impatient, are you?" He stands up and slowly runs his hand from my knee to my thigh, stopping at the edge of the rhinestones. "What did you do? You're so wet, Wolf." he purrs, right before smacking my thigh teasingly.

"Yumichika-"

"Don't say anythin' else. I got an idea. I'll kick his ass tomorrow for touchin' you, even for groomin'."

"He didn't touch, just explained to me what to do. I was in the bathroom and following directions through the door. Only time he touched me was to brush my hair."

"Good." He says, easing his hand under the rhinestones. He lets out an appreciative moan as he pets me softly. "No woman has ever done this before for me. You know I don't care about hair down there. Never stopped me from enjoyin' you before."

I laugh softly. "It was Yumichika's idea. He said it would be better if there was no hair to distract from the rhinestones. I'm not sure if I'll keep it this wa-" I'm cut off as he slides a finger inside me, making me moan.

"Did you miss me?"

"Yes!"

Another finger is added, stroking me in a home here motion. I'm soon writhing, panting for breath...yearning for him. "Still gunna marry me?"

"Fuck yes!" I shout, unable to stop myself.

A third finger and I'm fighting hard. "Do you love me?"

"Yes, Kenpachi!" I scream, my orgasm crashing over me violently.

"That's my woman." he growls before pulling me to the end of the table. I watch him pull his hakama down, freeing his erection for me. He pulls the g-string off in a hurry before sinking inside me slow, entering me inch by inch. "I missed you too, Wolf. Not just this but I can't fuckin' sleep without you in my arms. This past week was hell. Let me make it better."

"Please." I whimper as he pulls back then enters me again.

I don't expect the violence. His movements inside me become hard, his testicles making noise as they slap against my ass with each thrust. He's holding my legs apart, his hands gripping my thighs tightly. My back arches and I tease him by playing with my nipples. It's teasing me too. His hand lifts and his thumb finds my clit, stroking it. Suddenly he stops and pulls me into his arms before carrying me to bed. He's back inside me in seconds, his mouth devouring my nipples as he fucks me.

"Kenpachi...I'm gunna-"

His mouth moves to mine and silences me as the pleasure overwhelms my system again, pulling him with me. He tries to pull away but I refuse to let him, my arms wrapping around him to hold him still. "Don't go."

He looks at me. "Go? Where the hell do you think I'm goin'? Other than to run a bath, I'm not lettin' you outta my sight again. You get in too much trouble without me."

"Marry me."

"Did you forget we set a date already?"

I shake my head. "Sooner. The sooner the better. Please."

"Wolf, what's goin' on? Before now you weren't worried about gettin' married fast."

"I just...I don't want to be separated from you again. I was so scared and they wouldn't listen to me."

"Scared?"

I nod. "They wouldn't tell me why I wasn't allowed to have visitors or why they were keeping me away from you. I was so scared they were going to never let me see you again."

"I won't let em. Now, can we go get a bath? You still smell like that damn infirmary."

"Sounds good to me."

****Kenpachi POV****

Harmona slept better last night than she usually does. She told me she hadn't slept this past week at all, too afraid to shut her eyes. Why in the hell was she so afraid? She won't tell me anythin' other than she was terrified she'd never see me again. Did someone put that in her head? Or did something? Her demon is still below the surface, tormentin' her I'm sure. But she did a lot of sweatin' and shiverin' in her sleep last night. Not cold shiver, but fear shiver. What in the fuckin' hell did they do to her?

It's three in the afternoon and she's still sleepin'. The men have noticed but don't comment on it, other than dirty jokes. Yeah, so I fucked her a couple times last night. Not like it's different from any other night, well, minus the bein' away from her for a week. That wasn't unusual when she was a wolf but since she came out, she's never been far from me. It's a runnin' joke in the Seireitei that she's my pet in more ways than one. I wouldn't call her a pet. If she was a pet, she'd be one that bites and scratches and carries on like an idiot unless she's bein' fed. The thought brings a smile to my face. Still, I suppose I should wake her. She hasn't eaten since fuck knows when.

My heart stops as her scream reaches my ears. The men hear it too. "Captain, what's going on!?" Ikkaku shouts.

"Nothin'. She's got a bad nightmare problem. I got her." I answer before turnin' on my heel and runnin' for her. When I get to the house, she's already on the porch, shiverin' and covered in sweat. I crouch down and tilt her chin up. Shes scratched the shit outta her face, especially around her eyes. "Hey, the hell'd you do you your face?"

"I'm sorry."

"Wolf?"

"Please don't hate me."

"The hell're you talkin' about?" Instead of answerin' she starts cryin'. "Hey! Quit fuckin' cryin' and tell me what the fuck you're talkin' about!"

Wait a minute...her eyes are shut. Is she still fuckin' sleepin'? I shake her and her eyes fly open. She looks confused. "Where am I?"

"Sleep walkin' apparently. You screamed loud enough the entire barracks heard it. And your face is fucked up."

"Oh. It was a bad one. I'm sorry."

"Quit apologizin'. What was it, Wolf?"

"It was a nightmare about you, actually." she mumbles.

"What about me?"

"I lost control of myself during battle....I killed you. Oh Kenpachi, your body wasn't even recognizable when I was done. When I came back to myself all that was left was your skull." she sobs, throwin' her arms around me.

"Captain...is she alright?" Yumichika asks, walkin' up behind me. I feel several others with him.

"It was a bad one. She'll be alright." I reply.

"Is there anything we can do for her?"

"No. Just bring her dinner here. Isane said she stopped eatin' the list week so I don't know when the last time she ate was. I'm gunna put her back inside. Think she needs quiet. Obviously this shit fucked her up worse than she already was." I lift her as I finish talkin'.

"Sir...is there anything she likes in particular that might cheer her up?" That damn weasel Rydin asks. He's on kitchen duty today. I got a bad feelin' about him.

"No fish or natto. I know she likes red bean mochi. She seems to like beef more than anythin' else as far as meat goes. And mangos."

"We'll throw something together for her." I hear the men walk off. "Yumichika."

"Sir?"

"Keep an eye on Rydin. Somethin' in my gut says he's not as nice as he claims to be."

"Will do."

***Harmona POV***

Zaraki sits me on the table and tilts my head up. "It was just a bad dream. You gotta learn to quit lettin' that damn thing fuck with your head."

"I know. I just don't know how."

"Stay right there. Is Okami healin' your face?"

"Yeah...I owe you a new pillow. Yours is all bloody."

"Tch. Like I care about blood stains."

I smile a little and shiver as the memory of his skull, completely free of skin or hair, a mad grin and his eye patch still there, pops into my mind unbidden. Zaraki's back is to me as he throws a hell butterfly out the door. I can't stand the panic. What's happening to me? I've never panicked like this before. What's wrong with me!? The smell of blood draws my attention to my thighs. I've dug my nails in without even realizing it. I put my hands down beside me on the table where they can't do too much damage. Zaraki turns and immediately zeros in on my legs. "Why the hell do you do that?"

"It's a reflex. I don't know but when I'm panicking it just happens." I sigh.

"Panickin' about what?"

"I just can't get it out of my head...I think...I should leave. You'll be safer away from me. Nobody gives a shit what happens to me so it's not like anyone will notice I'm gone."

He stares at me before he gets a dark frown on his face. "Over my dead body, you can leave." he snarls.

"But-"

"No buts. I'm not letting you leave me. I fuckin' care about you and I will notice you're gone. This last week wasn't just hell on you. Even the men were mopin' around. So shut the fuck up about nobody cares. So you had a fuckin' nightmare about killin' me. Most people would call that a wet dream. You won't kill me. Okami won't let you, he said."

"He talked to you?"

"That day of our spar. He came out and spoke to me, Isane and Shunsui. Shunsui should be here any minute. We're goin' to Karakura Town. Today."

"What? Why?"

"Kisuke Urakara. That demon is leavin'."

"But...what if I get weak when he leaves? What if I'm not strong enough to fight you anymore? You don't want a weak woman! I don't want to be weak."

"You're weak for relyin' on him."

It's like a slap in the face. That stings but he's right. It was a mistake to tie myself to him. He deserves better.

"You get that demon out and I train you once he is. You're strong, Wolf, but he's a fuckin' weakness. Especially since you think you have to have him to be able to fight. That's him plantin' shit in your head. Just like your face tells me you're pummelin' yourself up inside thinkin' I'd be better off with some other woman. Not gunna happen. And if you're thinkin' of runnin' off like a fuckin' coward like Okami warned me you've been thinkin' about doin', don't. I'll hunt your ass down and bring you back here. I'll even chain you to the wall."

"I might enjoy that." I spit, irritated at how easily he's reading me.

"Don't tempt me. I'll chain you up to my bed, woman, and never let you leave."

"Wouldn't I get a bathroom break even?"

"I'll leave it long enough for you to go in the bathroom."

"You're weird." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Roll em again, brat. I dare you."

"I'd rather roll you. Into the pond."

"In your dreams."

A soft knock on the door alerts us to Shunsui arriving. Zaraki opens the door and Shunsui blushes. "Oh hell! I interrupted something! I'll come back-"

"No, she just sleeps naked. Shut up and get in here." Zaraki growls before turning and grabbing his robe off the bedroom door and bringing it to me. I shrug it on before grabbing his hand. I just need to feel his skin against mine.

"Harmona, honey, what's going on? There's dried blood on your face." Shunsui asks softly before sitting in a chair.

"I...had a bad dream. Swee, I need to get him out. I'm not ok. I've been lying to everyone that I am but I'm not. Each day brings me closer and closer to a complete break down. Kenpachi is the only thing keeping me from breaking."

"Thank you for being honest. I know it's hard for you to talk to anyone after what happened but I'm glad you're still willing to try." he says, grabbing my other hand and petting it gently. "When do you want to leave?"

"We're goin' today." Zaraki answers.

"We? As in you and her? You know I can't send you, Zaraki. You're needed here."

"I'm not lettin' her outta my sight again, Shunsui. My trust for you and Isane is pretty damn low right now. I know you thought you were doin' the best thing for her but it's made it worse."

"She's been back less than twenty four hours. How do you know?"

"Gut instinct. She dreamed of killin' me and it scared her so fuckin' bad the entire squad heard her scream. She scratched the shit outta her eyes in her sleep and started sleep walkin'. I'm not lettin' her go alone and not without me. If you try that shit, then she stays and you bring Kisuke Urahara here. I ain't budgin' on this."

"I can't send you and she has to go there. That's final. I will allow you to send one or two people lower than lieutenant class with her though."

"You're fuckin' killin' me!"

"Kenpachi...please. I can't stand this anymore. I don't want to be away from you but I can't deal with this demon inside me any longer. He's tearing me down, piece by piece. I'm scared to death! I...I'm hurting myself to try to keep my pinkie hold on what little sanity I have left! I don't want to die but if it comes down to it and that's the only option, I'll slit my own throat to keep you safe." I yell, my temper lost finally. "I want to be free. That's all I ever wanted, whether it's death or the demon is gone. There's no other option. I'm on the edge of a blade here."

The men stare at me and I can't stand it. I head to the bedroom and grab a bag, packing a spare shihakushou and a few sets of my normal undergarments. I wipe my eyes furiously. No more tears, Wolf. They're good for nothing. Tears make you weak. Be strong. Be someone your mate can be proud of. I hang his robe back up after putting a shihakushou on. I don't want to go but I have to. I have to get free.

"I'm taking Yumichika. And I want to take Rydin too. I want to figure out what he's up to. Like you said earlier, Kenpachi, he gives me a bad feeling in my gut. And you don't need to worry so much. Ichigo is still in Karakura Town, remember? I'll be safe. Not that I really need a guard or anything." I say confidently.

Zaraki sighs. "Fine. But you use that damn soul pager and contact me daily. Understand?"

"Yes, sir. Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Shunsui nods. "Alright. Harmona, go get the two men you're taking with you. I'll go prepare the Senkaimon and notify Kisuke of your arrival. If anything happens and you need help, send word. We'll be there as fast as we can."

"Don't worry, Swee. I'm fine. Nothing will happen."

Shunsui leaves and Zaraki frowns. I put my bag down and hug him. "Don't worry. I trust Yumichika and Rydin is weaker than Yumichika so if he causes a problem, I'll stop him. I promise. I'll contact you as often as you want."

"I don't like this. But I trust your judgement. Ichigo will be brought in the loop and if you need help, don't hesitate to go to him. He's a good kid."

I smile a little and kiss his chest, finally getting him to wrap his arms around me. "I promise I won't kill anyone."

"Yeah, don't do that. Then you'll be put back here in the Muken."

"I promise to keep my clothes on too."

"You're not helpin'."

I decide to help him the only way I know how. He's not complaining...

I stand before the gate with Yumichika and Rydin. It's been a very long time since I've been through this gate. "That's a big gate." Rydin says, his brown eyes wide. He's cropped his red hair into a buzz cut to look more intimidating. Doesn't seem to work, really.

"Ready?" Shunsui calls.

"Yes, sir!"

The doors open and, without a backward glance, I run through. Yumichika stays next to me. Rydin a little further behind. I hate the Dangai. It's a weird, slimy place.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's gone. Good in the sense she's doin' what needs done. Bad in the sense the little brat didn't say goodbye. That kinda stings a little until I think about it. She probably didn't say goodbye because she'd already said goodbye at home. Several times. I can still smell her on me. Plus, knowin' her, if she'd looked back, she never woulda left.

I'd given Yumichika strict instructions about that damn Rydin. I don't like the maggot. Somethin' about him makes my gut churn. She better stay safe.

****Harmona POV****

"My goodness. Shunsui said you would be arriving, but he didn't say anything about how beautiful you are. I'm Kisuke Urahara. I already know Yumichika. So you are?" the blond haired, hat and clogs wearing man asks.

"Harmona Mori." I say.

"Rydin Harturo." Rydin says, sounding displeased about something.

"Well, come on in here and get situated. Harmona, would you like to rest or jump right into trying to remove your parasite."

"I need it out of me. The sooner the better. However...you realize he's chained into my soul. This will be difficult."

The man gives me a serious look. "Don't you worry. We'll figure something out."

I find that I trust his words. We follow him inside and are shown rooms. Yumichika and Rydin are put together. I'm put in with some chick named Yoruichi. This room smells like a cat for some reason but I don't see any of the blasted things. Just the tan skinned beauty meditating on her bed. Her hair is black with a purple undertone and it's worn in a high pony tail.

"Yoruichi, your room mate has arrived." Kisuke says brightly. "Two beautiful women in a room alone. What I wouldn't give to install cameras."

"Do it and I'm sure her lover will come to kill you. Isn't that right, Wolfie-chan?" Yoruichi says, opening her eyes and winking at me.

"Most likely. He's pretty possessive." I smile.

"And just who is your lover?" Kisuke asks, genuinely puzzled.

"Captain Kenpachi Zaraki."

"Holy shit! Are you serious! Ah! Many apologies! No cameras!" he says, backing away quickly. "Anyway, get settled in and when you're ready, come to the underground training room. Yoruichi can show you the way."

"No worries. I've got her." the woman says.

"So...where's the cat?" I ask after he disappears.

"What cat?"

"I smell cat."

"Oh. You smell me, probably. I can shape shift into a cat. It's a family trait."

I nod. "Oh, ok. Well, I change into a wolf so least we have a little in common."

****Underground Training Area****

"You don't have shikai but you have bankai!?"

I shrug. "Ichigo doesn't have a shikai either, from what I hear."

The orange haired boy looks up at my from his perch on a rock. "Yeah, my sword is always unleashed. I can't really control my reiatsu still." he says, smiling a little. "Nothing wrong with that. However, you have something to make up for that, from what Shunsui told me."

"My wolf form. I thought it was my shikai at first but Okami told me it's not. Something about it's in my blood, whatever that means."

"It means you're a werewolf." Kisuke says, laughing in a creepy manner. Yoruichi hits him.

"Knock it off, you idiot. Seriously though, Wolf, you are a werewolf but not pure blooded. Somehow your blood got diluted enough so you're not all furry like the previous captain of squad seven, Sajin Komamura."

"He's nothing but a raging beast in a cage in their barracks from what I hear." Rydin snorts. "No wolf could be a captain."

"He was though. Something happened during the war and he lost his humanity. We still don't know why but that's why Tetsuzaimon Iba was promoted." Kisuke says.

I frown. "What does any of this have to do with getting this demon out of me?"

"Well, we need to exhaust you to draw him out, to put it simply."

"That won't take long. I didn't eat dinner and haven't eaten in about five days. I don't take well to being confined." I shrug. They all stare at me. "I'm half feral. Probably why Captain Zaraki likes me. I'm not tame like the other bimbos running around the Seireitei."

"Ke-Ke-Kenpachi!? You're with Kenpachi!?" Ichigo squeals.

"We're getting married soon, in fact. What's the big deal?"

"Oh, little Ichigo is afraid of our Captain, though they're friends. Apparently our captains power their first fight and only fight scared him to pieces." Yumichika laughs.

"You weren't there! The guys a monster!"

I grin. "Especially in the sheets."

The boys face turns cherry red. "I don't want to picture him naked!"

I giggle. "I do. It's what gets me through the day usually until I can take him home and put my dirty mind to use."

I can see the steam out of Ichigo's ears and I fall over laughing. Yumichika smiles. "You'll have to excuse her. She really is half feral. Captain Zaraki is about the only one she really trusts with anything so them being together is natural."

"Dirty minded hussie." He grumbles.

"Oh, she'll fit in perfect around here." Kisuke teases, wafting his fan at Ichigo.

My laughter stops finally. "So...uhm...you know, I can bring him out when I'm not exhausted, right?"

"Really? Then please, proceed." Yoruichi says with determination.

I get to my feet and sigh. "Stay back. He's more violent than I am."

They clear the area, hiding behind boulders. I calmly sit down. "Okami, let him out." I order quietly.


	17. Chapter 17

"You foolish girl. Summon me to try to be rid of me, hmm? You're weak and pathetic, like a baby. Why that creature loves you I don't know. You're not worth love. Certainly not worth tying to permanently." My demon hisses in my ear before clapping his teeth together threateningly. "You'll never be free. You will die before you're free, girl. I will make sure of it."

"Well now, that's not very nice." Kisuke says, walking forward. Something about his cane is threatening. A hidden menace from it permeates the air. Killing intent at it's finest.

The demon stands and leers down at Kisuke. "Who are you, little ant?"

"Kisuke Urahara. Jack of all trades, candy shop owner and former captain of squad twelve. And you are?"

"I have no name but I am a demon of war. I will crush you like the bug you are."

"Oh, I don't think so. I'm not here to fight with you. I'm here to speak to you."

"Speaking is for idiots."

"I happen to agree, Kisuke." I say quietly, earning me a backhand.

"Silence, child. I will deal with you in a moment."

"Harmona, come with me. Let's leave the boys down here to get acquainted." Yoruichi says softly, sneaking up beside me.

I follow her back upstairs and she sits at a little dining table with me. "It'll be ok. Kisuke is a lot stronger and more capable that he looks. Don't worry." she says gently.

"I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about getting home as soon as possible. I...don't feel safe away from Captain Zaraki." I admit softly.

"Why don't you call him and let him know you arrived safely."

I nod and pull out the soul pager they'd given me before my departure from the soul society. I smile a little. Zaraki had let me take a picture with it and I'd set it as the background screen. It was just him with those abs bared for the world to see, letting me take a picture. I quickly find his number, one of the only four in there and call it.

"Bout time you called, woman. I was gettin' worried you fell asleep in the Dangai." his voice purrs in my ear.

"You wish." I tease.

"Not really, no. I'd have to waste time searchin' for you in that weird place. Course, that might be fun too."

"You're ridiculous."

"Everythin'...what the fuck happened to your face already?!" he growls.

"Uhm...Kisuke is playing with my demon in his training room downstairs and my demon hit me because...well, he's an asshole." I say, shifting my hair over my cheek. "I'm fine. I promise."

"Just be careful, alright. I finally found the woman of my dreams and I don't wanna lose you."

My heart melts a little but I hide it. "Oh well, excuse me. I won't come back since you found some hoity-toity princess to marry...wait a minute, you're not marrying Byakuya Kuchikia are you?" I tease.

"Oh fuck you, you goddamn fuckin' brat! You know I mean you."

I laugh a little. "Yeah, I know. I miss you already."

"Miss you too. Hurry home, Wolf."

"I will. I love you."

He smiles. "Love you too. Go beat em up, mutt."

"Go beat up the men, grouch."

"Call me in the mornin'."

"Will do. I promise."

He clicks off and I sigh, instantly sad again. Yoruichi notices. "You really love the big brute, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm just so homesick without him. Wherever he is is home to me."

She laughs softly. "Never thought I'd see the day when he would find someone to love him for himself, not just his captain's haori."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, about five years after he became a captain, a long time before he met Ichigo, he had a girl. She claimed she loved him a lot and planned to marry him...then she got pregnant their first time doing anything and....let's just say he's never gotten over what happened. She left him and the baby was never born, though it's never certain whether it was intentional or something happened."

"He never said anything other than he doesn't want kids."

"Well, he probably means it, not just because of that though. It's hard to be a captain with kids running around under foot. You might find out some day."

My head shakes. "No, I doubt I will. He's adamant he doesn't want kids and I have Okami tell me when I'm in my fertile days of the month. I love kids but...maybe it's for the best that we don't have any. I'd be a bad mom, probably."

"Oh, I doubt that very seriously. You'd be fine."

"Well, I won't ever know. Which is fine with me."

She stares at me keenly. "Well, let's go see what Tessai has in store for dinner. I hear your belly growling."

I smile at her. "Sounds like a plan."

****Kenpachi POV****

It's been three days without her. This is drivin' me fuckin' nuts. She called me four times yesterday, the last one while everyone was out shoppin' for groceries, leavin' her alone. She'd teased me over the damn connection and I've stayed hot and bothered since. Her little moans of my name, her pantin' breaths in my ear...fuck. She better come home soon.

"Distracted today, aren't you?" Toshiro asks irritably.

"Wanna fight about it?" I growl.

"No. But it would be nice if you would answer where your woman is so we can conclude this meeting."

"She's in Karakura Town with Urahara."

"Why is she there? Karakura Town is in my squad's jurisdiction?" Rukia asks curiously.

"She's got somethin' she needs his help with."

"And that is?" her damn brother asks.

"When she was a child, Yamamoto put a demon inside her to control her power, just like my eye patch controls mine. Back there, there wasn't a Department of Research and Development."

They get quiet. "And how would removing this demon help her?" Mayuri asks. "If the old man felt the need to suppress her power, perhaps there's a reason for that. This explains the black reiatsu I spoke you you about, doesn't it, Zaraki?"

"I hate to agree with him but maybe he's right. She's lived with it this long. Why remove it now?" Soi Fon spits.

"You ever get feelin's in your head tellin' you you're a bad person? She is constantly bein' attacked by it. She can't even sleep without the damn thing attackin' her. It's not just mental abuse but it wounds her body. I can't watch her suffer and refuse to do anythin' about it."

"So you're saying it damages her physically and mentally? Why in the hell would Yamamoto do something like that?" Iba growls.

"She said she was told that he wanted her to become the Seireitei's greatest weapon against the Quincies two hundred years ago. He used her own mom against her too. She's never had someone to love or care about her before. This is all new. That demon doesn't like it either." Shunsui sighs. "Zaraki...how long will it take, did she have a clue when you spoke to her last?"

I shake my head. "No. Everythin' they try will end up killin' her. It's embedded in her soul completely." I growl.

"Oh, that's a simple fix." Mayuri laughs. "Destroy the demon and chain her soul to someone else."

"That's the problem though. She's already created a soul chain between me and her."

"Not like this though. That is a one way chain. This will be two ways."

I frown, not exactly gettin' it. "The hell do you mean?"

"I mean that if you, for example, allow your soul to be chained to hers, the chain will go both ways. Her life will be spared. However, should you or her die, the other one will too. A perfectly fair trade, I think."

"What!? No! Zaraki, no. That's an order." Shunsui yells.

"Why not? You want your kid to die?" I say, rather meanly.

****Harmona POV****

I spit out the blood in my mouth. Another failed attempt that did more harm than good. Yoruichi holds my hair back. "I think you should rest a few days. You're exhausted and this one is the worst reaction yet. I'm afraid if we don't give your body a rest it's going to give out."

"As much as I hate to say it, I think you're right. I feel like shit." I groan.

"Tell you what, why don't you go lay down and call Kenpachi. You always seem to perk up a bit when you hear his voice."

"Ok. I haven't called him yet today so that's not a bad idea. I'm sorry I'm such a pain. I didn't realize how hard this was going to be."

"No, don't worry about it. Kisuke knew the challenge before he took it on. He'll figure it out."

"I believe you."

She pats my back gently. "Go on. Go call your man."

I stumble my way back to our room and pull out my soul pager. Three missed calls from Zaraki and one from Shunsui. I dial Zaraki's number.

"You better have a good explanation for not answerin' calls, Wolf." he snaps irritably.

"Does being in the middle of puking count?"

"You sick?"

I shake my head, noticing his frown on the screen. "No. Another failed attempt. We're not getting any closer. I miss you. I'm homesick. I wanna come home but I can't." I whimper.

"It'll be over soon. The lab freak has an idea. He was gunna relay the message to Kisuke...Wolf, you're awful pale."

"I'm ok...I lost a lot of blood today, that's all. Okami is healing what he can, though it's slow. He's exhausted just like I am." I smile for him.

"Want me to sneak myself over there?"

"No. As much as I want to see you, you're needed there."

"What about Rydin?"

"He's been his usual friendly self although he keeps trying to run Tessai out of the kitchen. Tessai shares your opinion. Something is going on."

"Do me a favor and stay close to Yumichika. I got a bad feelin'."

"I'll be fine. I promise."

"You better be."

"Are you threatening me?"

"With the hardest fuckin' spankin' you've ever got, woman." he laughs.

"Oooh, kinky." I tease.

"Shunsui just walked in the barracks. Wanna talk to him?"

"No. Just tell him you caught me finally. I'll call you back before I go to bed."

"Take a nap, panda face."

"Bite me."

"I'll bite you all you want when I see you next."

"Deal."

He clicks off and I sigh. I really do feel terrible. I close my eyes and let sleep come over me. My belly hurts so bad it's not funny. I hate this...

"Kisuke, her fever is out of control! Ichigo, get Orihime here now!" Yumichika screams above my head. "Wolf, darling, open your eyes! Come on!"

"I have captured your squad mate and summoned the punishment force to come collect him." Tessai says. "I believe I know what poison he put in her food this morning while I came to ask Kisuke a question. This is very bad. The antidote takes twelve hours and the poison itself can kill in twenty four. It's already been ten hours since she ingested it so it will be close but I am doing everything I can."

"Wolf, come on! Wake up!"

I fade again. I'm so cold. The darkness without Zaraki is terrifying...

***Kenpachi POV***

Ichigo meets me at the door to the hospital. "Humans can't see you, so I thought I'd come greet you. Follow me."

I'm silent as I follow him through the halls. Then I notice that Quincy boy comin' out of a room. He stops in his tracks, seeming to wait. "Captain Zaraki. Ichigo. She's...sleeping, if you can call it that. Tessai gave her the antidote about twenty minutes ago. Her breathing is a little better but the fever isn't responding yet. You can go see her, if you'd like. Try not to wake her though. She needs as much rest as she can get so the antidote will work faster."

"Thanks, Uryu. I owe you one."

"Yes, you do. Orihime is in there with her to heal some of the damage. She has an impressive healing rate too, so...I think her prognosis is fair for now. Please, go sit. Talk to her, Captain Zaraki. She can hear you."

I follow Ichigo into the room and I stop. Orihime's yellow dome is over my woman but she's also hooked up to some sort of oxygen mask, IVs and a heart monitor. She looks so weak and frail. I sit in a chair next to Orihime and pat the girls head. "Thanks for takin' care of my woman."

"Oh, it's no trouble, Kenny. She's doing really good, I think." the girl says, smilin' softly and pattin' my knee.

"What the hell happened?" I ask.

"Tessai was cooking breakfast yesterday and Rydin was helping him. The only thing we can figure is Tessai came out of the kitchen to ask Kisuke a question about her training. During that time Rydin poisoned her food. She didn't say anything about being sick before Kisuke tried another way to remove the demon. She skipped lunch, claiming the experiment made her nauseous. Yoruichi found her in the bathroom a little later, throwing up. She urged her to go lay down. She called you, we know that....twenty minutes later Tessai came to check on her and noticed she was sweating a lot and when he rolled her over there was bloody foam coming from her mouth so he knew something was wrong. Yumichika tried to wake her up but had no luck. We brought her here, since she was in her gigai."

"Where's that bastard now?"

"Soi Fon came directly and took him back for judgement."

I stare at Harmona, willin' her to open her eyes. Orihime notices and pats my knee again. "Don't worry, Kenny. She's a strong woman. She's healing herself from the inside while I'm lending my help to her. She'll be ok."

"Where's Kisuke?" I ask quietly.

"At the shop. Are you gunna kill him?"

"No. The damn blue haired asshole has an idea for how to get this demon out of her I want to run by him."

"Oh, ok. I gotta say, she's a strong woman to house a monster like that inside her for so long. And...well, we can tell she loves you, Kenpachi. Every time your name is mentioned she perks up a little and even smiles when she's exhausted." Ichigo laughs softly.

The dome comes down. "I've healed what I can. I can't heal her anymore. She's starting to block me."

"Don't worry about it. She's ok now if she's blockin' you. Thanks for the help." I say.

"Come on, Orihime. Let's go take a breather. Maybe get something to eat."

The kids leave and I scoot closer to Harmona, grabbin' her hand. "Come on, Wolf. Come back to me."

****Harmona POV****

Okami bites me again. "Wake up, you silly girl! Open your eyes for your mate!" he snarls.

"So sleepy, Okami...lemme sleep a little longer." I say softly.

"You've slept long enough! You've been strapped in this bed for days now! Open your eyes and get up! Now or I shall really bite you!"

"You're so mean. I need my beauty sleep or I won't wake up pretty for once...well, nevermind. I'm never pretty."

"You idiotic girl! Wake up!"

I crack my eyes open with a groan. 

Zaraki is right there, right next to me. "Hey, bone head, bout time you woke up. You got paperwork to do."

"To hell with your stupid paperwork!" I snap before throwing myself out of the bed and into his lap, making the machines behind me go haywire. The nurses come running but Ichigo stops them, letting them know he's taking care of it and to get Dr. Ishida here. I'm too busy kissing Zaraki to care.

"Well...uhm....if she's feeling good enough to do that, she can go home." someone laughs awkwardly behind me. Zaraki grabs me as I turn, snarling. The black haired, glasses wearing young man in front of me is a fucking Quincy.

"Easy! Wolf, I know you smell he's a Quincy but he's the one who helped us in the last war. He's ok." Zaraki grumbles.

I glare irritably. "I don't trust your judgement but whatever. I'm too tired to tear him up anyway."

The boy coughs. "I'll discharge her. I would recommend she get at least a couple more days of rest, Captain Zaraki, so that she's not worn out."

He and Ichigo leave the room and I get to my feet. "Stupid fucking Quincy. Doesn't know what the hell he's talking about." I hiss and start removing the IVs from my arms.

"Relax, you crazy ass woman." Zaraki growls.

"Where in the hell is that goddamn asshole that poisoned me? I'm gunna kill him." I say as the last needle is pulled.

"He's in the Seireitei. Shunsui doesn't know I'm here. He thinks I'm out on a mission in the Rukongai. I took care of it right before Yumichika got the message to me and I came here."

"I think I know why he did it. Rydin grew up around Mori's old family home. I bet you anything he knows the fucker. I also bet you he was given an order from his 'friend' to kill me. Mori should know though I'm not that fucking easy to kill."

"We'll find out."

I sit back down in his lap and kiss him again. "Can we go home now?"

"Not yet. Kisuke's first. Then home, whether this last thing works or not."

I groan. "You suck."

"Oh, I will be suckin' on you pretty damn soon, woman. I need to remind you why you can't die."

"Oh, and why would that be?"

"Because I fuckin' said so. I'm your alpha, right? So if I say you can't die, that means you won't die. Understand?"

"Understood."

***Kenpachi POV***

After much bitchin' and moanin' by the hospital, we're finally back at Kisuke's. And she's puttin' food away like there's no tomorrow. Somethin' dawns on me though. "Hey, Wolf?"

"Hmm?"

"That poison...did you not smell it or somethin'? And how did he manage to find a poison that would hurt you? Mayuri has tried several times and never been successful."

"I didn't smell it. That, plus my body is weird. All poisons bother me but higher dosages are more lethal...that one was given at a dose high enough to kill a flock of elephants."

"So...how did it not kill you?" Yumichika asks.

"It did. Twice. Okami had to restart my heart a couple times. That's why Orihime's powers were so useful. She healed the minor damage while Okami focused on the major. I'm all better now."

I drop my chopsticks. No one had told me this. I glare at Kisuke who looks scared. "Now, Captain Zaraki, please don't get angry. We didn't want to send you into a rage is why we didn't tell you."

"Rage? I wouldn't have raged. I'm furious now though so maybe I should."

Harmona sets her hand on my thigh. "No. I'm alright. No harm done."

I'm still furious but she seems ok so I let it drop. "Mayuri had an idea for this demon problem."

"Which was?" Kisuke asks.

"It's chained into her soul, right? He said the only way to remove it without killing her is to tear it out by force and make a soul chain to connect her to someone else. It comes with a price though. If she dies, the person she's tied to will die too."

"No. I refuse. I'm not worth the hassle or dying for." she snarls.

"Not your choice, Wolf."

"How is it not my choice!? It's my body and my soul you're fucking with. I said no!"

"You wanna be weak and reliant on that damn thing the rest of your life? Fine. Whatever. Don't come cryin' to me about your fuckin' nightmare problem anymore."

She looks like I've slapped her in the face for a moment before her head bows. "I'm sorry." she mumbles before gettin' to her feet.

"Geeze, Kenpachi. Could you be any more of a jerk to her?" Ichigo says.

"She'll be fine. Bein' half feral and the abuse she went through makes her be stupid sometimes. She'll live." I growl.

***Harmona POV***

I'm stupid. First I'm a pain in the ass, now I'm stupid. Why in the hell does he want to marry me then? I'm obviously not a good fit. He deserves so much better than me. I sneak out of the window in the room Yoruichi and I share. I'm going for a walk. I need to cool my mind.

My soul pager starts alarming. It's been ten minutes. I'm going to ignore it. I feel something following me. One sniff tells me it's a Hollow. Ah, fate seems to shine on me tonight. I need a way to calm down so a fight would be wonderful.

"You smell good. You'll make a good snack, soul reaper." a voice says behind me after I walk a little further.

"Bring it, you fucking creep." I sneer, not bothering to look behind me as I walk out into the sand. I've walked out of town, onto a beach, which is deserted luckily. Considering it's still a little chilly, I'm not surprised. I turn finally and let my rage boil to the surface. I'm gunna tear shit up.

****Kenpachi POV****

"She's gone!" Yoruichi says, comin' back from checkin' on Harmona.

"What do you mean?" Kisuke asks.

"Gone. As in vanished. She left."

I close my eyes and smirk. "She'll be back. She likes to walk it off when I make her mad."

"You know, maybe you should quit being a jerk and see things from her point of view. She's obviously worried that if she messes up, the person she's tied to will die." Ichigo sighs.

"Or...wait a minute. I've got it! Kisuke, do you remember the research that was done before we were banished? Before the soul candies were finished?" Tessai yells.

"What about it? It was shut down because of the effects it had."

"What effects?" I ask.

"Well, in the early experiments, two reapers were tied together via soul chain like Mayuri suggested. However, it was a different method. A now forbidden technique. One could be on the brink of death but as long as the partner survived, they would never die, no matter what shape the partner is in. The bigger draw back though, is the wounds given to one would be felt by the other. The wounds weren't shared, but the agony was."

I think for a few minutes. "She's already used to that. When her demon is injured, she not only feels it but the wound transfers to her too."

Everyone gets silent suddenly. I notice goosebumps on all of em. Ichigo coughs. "If that's her...holy cow. No wonder she can stay toe to toe with you."

"What?"

"She's fighting. There's a pretty strong Hollow. The order to destroy came through just now." Yumichika says, lookin' at his soul pager.

"Should we go help?"

"Tch. You'll just be in her way. Plus we fight alone in squad eleven. However, if you want a good show, we can go watch." I smirk.

"Oh yes. You'll enjoy the show just stay back. She's so beautiful but she's so...messy when she fights. Blood and gore everywhere." Yumichika laughs.

***Harmona POV***

I'm laughing madly. This is just what I needed. The Hollow isn't enjoying this as much though. I've already cut off one of it's arms and half of it's right foot. I have to keep an eye on it's tail though. That scorpion like stinger looks threatening and I have no wish to return to that damn hospital ran by that filthy Quincy.

"Hey, you hoggin' the party?" Zaraki teases as he and the others come in sight.

"Not my fault it chose me, idiot." I snap, dodging the tail and slashing it in the side. It roars and punches me, sending me into a roll. I end up on my hands and knees when the roll stops, spitting the sand from my mouth. "Go away. I'm pissed off enough without you being here."

"Yeah, I can tell. Little thing like this is usually no problem for you, Wolf. Quit lettin' your mind distract you and finish it. I'd rather watch you do somethin' else."

I grin. "Like what?"

"Like fuck me."

"Oh, you call me stupid and expect me to fuck you, huh? No way. Go chase after Ichigo. He might be more accommodating." I grunt as I stab the Hollow in the gut, tearing my sword further toward its chest. It screams in rage and pain. I land the killing blow almost instantly. I turn my back on the thing and as it begins dissolving, that fucking stinger comes forth and hits me in the back. It stings but I don't worry about it too much. Okami will heal it.

Zaraki eyes me for a minute before smiling. "Feel better?"

"A little...uhm....ok that's odd." I mumble, my words slurring a little as I shake my head.

"Wolf?"

I shake my head some more. The ground is moving beneath my feet. I look up at Zaraki and jump back. His face is melting...literally melting. They all are. I know it's a hallucination but it's so real. "Stay back." I warn as Kisuke gets closer. He reaches for me and suddenly his chest explodes, insects crawling out and swarming toward me. I let out a terrified scream and turn on my heel. Even with the ground seeming to move, I run for it.

***Kenpachi POV***

I've only heard that woman scream like that when she's completely terrified. She's seein' shit. Whatever was in that damn stinger is fuckin' her up. "Give her space. You got some kind of tranquilizer?"

"Yes. I can run and get it." Tessai says before runnin' for it.

"Yoruichi, keep an eye on her. She's hallucinatin'." I say.

"Does that happen often?" the woman asks.

"That thing stung her. Whatever was in the stinger is fuckin' with her brain."

"Alright. I'll see if I can herd her back this way."

***Harmona POV***

I fucking hate bugs! I shift into my wolf form, trying to see if the hallucinations stop. They don't, unfortunately.

"Stop! Wait, Harmona!" a male voice says behind me, one I haven't heard. "It's alright! Just wait!"

I slow down but don't stop. A black cat wanders up to me and rubs against my side. "Come back. The venom in that stinger is making you hallucinate. It's alright."

I snarl and try to bite the cat but it dodges. I stare at it, watching as it's fur starts falling off. That's it. It seems to see something change and takes off running. I'm hot on its heels, trying to bite it. I'll fucking kill this hallucination. Cats don't bother me. Bugs do.

***Kenpachi POV***

Well, this'll be fun. Just like old times. As the furballs fly by, I tackle the wolf and pin her down. "Stop it, you damn heathen."

She snarls and bucks under me, tryin' to get me off her back but it ain't workin' so far. Yoruichi comes back toward us and claws Harmona across the nose. "You insolent moron! Shut up and sit quiet!"

Harmona's yelp of pain irritates me. A damn cat scratch shouldn't be makin' her make such a damn noise. As she turns her head though, I see why she yelped. "Damn, Yoruichi. You didn't have to shred her nose." I grumble. There's deep wounds, pouring blood down her face. She goes limp suddenly, her eyes closin'.

"Sorry it took so long. I'm not as young as I used to be." Tessai says. "That tranquilizer is good for four hours. Hopefully the venom will have worn off by then."

I shift off of her and get her up on my shoulders like a fuckin' lamb for slaughter. "Can we go now?"

"She's gunna freak out when she wakes up probably. Actually....Kenpachi, we could do this chain thing while she's asleep. It'll be the only way to do it."

"I'm not doin' anythin' to her without her permission. I don't need her hatin' me." I growl.

"Well...you'll have to talk her into it. It's the only way to get that thing out of her."

I don't wanna talk about anythin'. I just want to get her home and in bed. Guess I don't have a choice. But for now, I'll let her rest.


	18. Chapter 18

I groan when I wake, though I feel great. Maybe I got a good night's sleep for once. Zaraki is laying beside me, his arm holding me tightly to his body. I remeber the hallucinations but everything is blurry after that. As I look around I realize we are back at Kisuke's store. How did that happen?

"Go back to sleep, Wolf." He growls, not bothering to open his eyes.

I snuggle closer to him. "Can we go home now? Nothing is working down here anyway."

"Kisuke has another idea but it's the last shot we got. Shut up and sleep."

"I don't want to. I want to go home and cuddle."

He finally cracks his eye open. "Woman, go back to sleep or it'll get ugly. We can go home later."

I growl and bite his chest. He swats my ass. I decide to squirm out of his hold and meet the eyes of Yoruichi. "Feeling better?"

"Much. My nose hurts though."

"Sorry about that. I thought scratching you might get tour attention enough to listen and calm down."

My look of confusion makes her laugh. "You really were a cat?"

"Yep. You have your wolf, I have my cat."

"Women. You talk too much." Zaraki grumbles before rolling onto his belly and pulling the pillow over his head. I decide now is a great time to really piss him off. I wiggle my ass in the air before pouncing on him. He grunts as my weight lands on his back. I seal my body to his and nip his ear.

"Never turn your back on an enemy, Captain."

"If you were my enemy, I would have killed you already." He growls.

"You're welcome to try." I tease him.

"Tch. Try? You know I can."

"Yeah, but you won't. You'd miss me."

"That's what you think."

"Fine then. Go marry some other stupid idiot." I snap before getting to my feet and leaving the room. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with him....of course I wonder why he puts up with me too. We both obviously have issues with love. I feel I'm not worthy of it. I think he is just attached to me because I'm the only woman who can go toe to toe with him.

Yumichika glances up from the table. "Morning."

"Morning, Yumi."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really. My stomach isnt feeling very good. Probably that venom working itself out still."

He gives me a knowing look. "You're still angry. Wolf, you need to be rid of the demon. You are slowly losing who you are behind the fear and doubt it puts in your mind."

"I'm not worth dying for though."

"Kisuke has another idea. Why not try it?"

"I want to go home. I need time to think about it."

He frowns. "Fine."

I walk outside into the back lot of the shop. "Open." I say, stabbing Okami into the air. A Senkaimon opens for me. I hear Zaraki yell an order but I disregard it. I'm going home...

Shunsui is on the other side of the gate when I emerge finally. He looks tired. "Why are you alone, kiddo?"

"I was impatient to be home."

"You are supposed to be resting."

"I can rest when I'm dead."

"That's not funny."

I step nose to nose with him for a moment before hugging him. "I'm sorry."

"Come on. Let's get you home." He says softly, patting my back gently. When I release him he turns and we walk in silence back to the barracks. "Harmona, I want you to know I'm sorry for not letting Zaraki come with you. I never thought your life was in danger."

"My life is always in danger. It's ok. I'm fine. Just tired."

"Go rest. I'll send Zaraki here when they get through the gate."

"Thanks, Swee."

****Kenpachi POV****

That goddamn cheeky ass woman. I know she heard me order her to stay. I'm gunna smack that ass til it's black and blue. Yumichika gets through the gate before I do. The men point to my house and I storm there, slammin' the door open.

She's layin' naked in bed, sound asleep. My rage cools a little. At least she's restin'. The dark circles under her eyes worry me a little. I turn to leave, comin' face to face with her demon.

"Fight me. I will kill her if you don't." It hisses.

"Gladly." I snarl. "The wounds don't go to her. Thats the deal."

"I make no deals, boy. Fight me or she dies. I will not parlay further."

"Fine."

"You know nothing of the bitch you claim to love."

"I know enough."

"If you knew you wouldn't risk her life....or perhaps you would."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You'll figure it out."

I brush past him and head for the trainin' ground. Fuck this bastard and his damn riddles.

***Harmona POV***

I feel Zaraki's reiatsu. He's in battle with a strong opponent...shit! I check myself for wounds and find none. He's going to die! I can't allow it. I throw a shihakushou on and run outside. The training grounds. The sound of battle is loud, almost like a thunder storm on the ground. The sheer power of reiatsu from my demon and Zaraki stops me in my tracks at the gate. My heart is pounding in my chest, adrenaline coursing through me.

Blood coats the training ground. Zaraki is heavily wounded but so is the demon. I have to stop this! The demon hisses as it notices me. Zaraki strikes a blow and I scream as it's transferred to me, the flesh in my thigh flayed from the bone. The demon counter strikes, his hand piercing Zaraki's chest, barely missing his heart. No! I stumble forward, dragging my leg. Before the next blow can fall on either of them, I jump in the middle. "Stop it!"

"Move, Wolf." Zaraki orders irritably.

"No!"

"Yes, move. Let him kill us, since you want to die so badly, child." the demon hisses.

"Just stop. Please." I beg.

Zaraki shoves me out of the way as the demon strikes again, hitting him in the stomach. He grunts but refuses to go down. Not until I steal Nozarashi from his hands and put it to my throat. "Stop or I will stop it for you." I snarl.

The demon hisses angrily. "Fine, little bitch. Wait until he finds out."

"Finds what out?" I ask in confusion.

"You'll see soon. Then your heart will be torn asunder and I will take over for good." he snarls before disappearing.

"The fuck do you think you're doin', Wolf?" Zaraki snarls at me.

"I can't lose you." I whimper.

"I'm not yours to lose!"

I hand his sword back. "Yeah, I know." I sigh. "You never were and you never will be. Battle is your only love." I bow to him before dragging myself back home. Fuck this hurts. I peel my hakama off, biting my cheek the entire time. The flesh is literally hanging by a thread. Looking at it makes me feel ill but I need to stop the blood loss.

"The hell is your fuckin' problem today!?" Zaraki shouts, slamming the door behind him. "You ignored my order to wait earlier now you're jumpin' in the middle of my fuckin' fight. I outta wring your scrawny fuckin' neck!"

"Then do it. Not like you care anyway whether I live or die. You said it yourself. You're not mine. Therefore, I'm not yours either. I'm just your sperm deposit, nothing more. Excuse me for caring." I snap, getting to my feet. I wobble as I head for the kitchen. No wonder he keeps all these med kits in the house. Between me and him, we go through more than enough of them. My leg tries to give out on my way back to the table but I refuse to let it until I'm back by a chair. I grab the disinfectant and suture needle. This is going to hurt like a bitch.

Zaraki grabs my hand. "Stop."

"Why? You really do want me dead, huh? Ok, I'll bleed to death. No skin off my back."

His mouth slams into mine, his hands holding my head still for a few moments. "Stop it. You've had your damn panties in a knot since you heard what Mayuri suggested. I'm not yours to lose because you won't let me be, Wolf. I want you to be free but I can't help you if you won't let me, you hateful brat."

"You don't want to be mine, Kenpachi. You only love battle." I sigh.

"No. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me, you damn bitch." he snarls.

"You just want me so you have someone to fuck."

"Bullshit."

"Why do you want me so bad!? I'm nothing but a stupid pain in your ass!"

"Because I love you, numb skull. You're gettin' paler. Shut up and let me stitch it."

He doesn't give me time to argue, simply dumping the disinfectant on my leg. I throw my head back. The shit burns so bad! Fuck! As he starts stitching, the pain only gets worse, a sharp throbbing endless pain broken only but the stabbing of the needle. It takes him a few minutes but he finally finishes with me. I tackle him, my lips laying claim to his. My reiatsu raises a little, making him grunt as it infuses his wounds.

***Kenpachi POV***

I feel her everywhere inside my body. It feels good but holy shit does it hurt as my wounds close. Her kiss is distractin' me, my fury at her jumpin' in the middle of my fight slowly coolin'. After a few minutes she pulls up for air and I feel her power leavin' my body. "The hell did you do to me, woman?"

"Healed you. I can't have you dying on me, even if you do hate me, Captain. I love you too much." she sighs tiredly.

"I don't hate you. If I hated you, I'd kill you."

"You just haven't realized it yet."

"Woman, I'm gunna beat that ass clear off of you if you don't stop it. I'm marryin' your sorry ass because I love you. What more do you want?"

"Nothing. Well, maybe some food. I'm hungry now."

"What if I don't want to feed you?"

"Then I guess I'll go back to bed." I grab her before she can get to her feet and kiss her again. What her demon says is botherin' me. What is she hidin'? She seemed confused when he said it too though so maybe she's not hidin' anythin' on purpose. It's buggin' the shit outta me. She pulls away finally and gets to her feet. "I'm starving."

"Tranquilizer out of your system?"

"Mmhm. I'm not too sleepy anymore. Just really hungry."

I smirk. "What do I get if I feed you?"

"Bitten." she teases.

"Really? You'll bite the hand that feeds you, huh?"

"You should know that better than anyone."

"What?"

"That first time I ate out of your hand. You ran out of mango and I bit you for it."

"Oh, yeah. I remember."

"Feed me!"

"Rather feed a different hole."

"Maybe if you feed me!"

I laugh. "Fine, furball."

***Harmona POV***

I'm sitting in Zaraki's lap while he watches the rookies train. I watch too, looking for any weakness. Some of the men eye me warily. I don't like that. I'm a little paranoid. What if there are others like Rydin that are out to kill me? What if Mori put them up to it? I really don't want anything else to happen. I hate hospitals and doctors after the Isane incident. I've already told Zaraki that unless he cooks or I cook, I won't be eating anymore. To my surprise, he had agreed. He seems deep in thought a lot today and has been since the fight earlier. He wasn't even really paying attention when I'd made a pass at him earlier. He never misses those.

His hands creep to my thighs and squeeze teasingly. I shift in his lap a little. Is he trying to make me want him? In front of the men? His hand shifts up to my belly and he rubs gently. He's gone mad. Completely mad. "I'm not a wolf right now. I don't need my belly rubbed." I say softly.

"Is that so? Maybe I should rub somewhere else." he replies.

"In front of the men?"

"They know you're mine. And how many times have you snuck up on them to watch?"

"I didn't watch on purpose. I was...curious."

"Now you're not, hmm?"

"Why would I be? You've taught me everything I need to know about sex." 

"I didn't teach you shit."

"You taught me how good it feels. And how to please you."

"You still haven't learned one thing though."

"What's that?"

"How to realize I fuckin' love you for more than your body. That shit you said earlier pissed me off."

"Huh?"

"You said you were nothin' but my personal cum dumpster. That pissed me off. You're better than that."

"Not by much. Just because you love me doesn't mean I'm anything more or less than that." I sigh.

"You're so fucked up in the head you don't believe anyone about anythin', do you?"

"Violence and harsh words were what I grew up on. It's all I hear now in my head, all day every day. Shunsui and Jushiro did what they could but what's two people against the entire squad eleven and squad one back then?"

He covers my ears before shouting. "Men! Loud and clear, tell Wolf how you feel about her. She'll be able to smell it if you lie. This shit with Rydin has her really questioning her safety here."

The men stop and stare at me for a moment before shouting as loud as possible when Zaraki moves his hands. "She's our wolf! Our mascot! Our sister! If anyone tries to harm her, we will kill them! We love her!"

I smell no lies so I give Zaraki a look of confusion. He startles me by picking me up and throwing me at the men. They catch me and take turns patting my head or hugging me. I hate being touched still but...they aren't hurting me. I wiggle my way out of the swarm as the panic starts to flood my system. I need air so I run outside the dojo to my tree.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Did we do something wrong, Captain?" Arimaki asks.

"Nothin'. She needs to get over her damn fear of bein' touched. Yumichika noticed she needs trainin' and it's gunna require someone besides me to touch her. She leaves herself wide open half the time durin' a fight. She relies on her instincts too much and that's why she gets hit most of the time. She's rusty from bein' a wolf so long."

"Oh...well, sir, uhm...how do we help without getting beat up? Every time someone touches her when she's not expecting it she gets a little punch happy."

"I'm thinkin' about it. Gimme some time."

The men nod and get back to trainin'. I get to my feet and go in search of my woman. As I figured, she's under her damn tree. This seems to be the only place she feels safe for some reason. Makes no damn sense to me. She's right out in the open. Maybe she just thinks because her mom helped her plant the damn thing that in some way her mom is still there lookin' after her. "Hey, scaredy cat. The hell you run for?"

"I don't like the touching. I never will. It's different with you because you aren't shy about hurting me."

"You still don't trust me though." I point out, leanin' back against the tree. She scoots herself over and lays her head against my leg.

"I'm trying, Kenpachi. I've got two hundred years worth of baggage to try to dig through. Two and a half months isn't really enough time."

"Urahara's idea made more sense than Mayuri's. Shut up and listen. He'll replace the demon's chain in your soul with one tyin' you to someone else. If that person dies and you still live at the time of death, they won't die. Same if you die and that person is still alive. It's a chain that'll be permanent though."

"It's not fair though...I can't die anyway so it's no trade off for me. And why give yet another person a way to hurt me?"

"What if I volunteer?"

"Kenpachi...you can't be serious."

"As a fuckin' heart attack. You're my woman and I refuse to allow you to continue to be weakened by that thing. You got a damn goal to kill that asshole that raised you. You'll never do it with that damn thing in there fuckin' with your brain and fillin' it with bullshit."

"But...won't that put you at risk? You know how I fight. I'm always letting myself get hurt."

"I'll be trainin' you from now on and the men are gunna help. You're rusty from bein' a wolf. I've looked at your records. I know you can do better than you do now."

"I'm not rusty...I let myself get hurt. Pain is like a drug to me."

"Well then, this'll keep you from bein' so damn addicted to it durin' battle then, won't it?"

She frowns. "Does that mean you won't spank me anymore?"

"What?"

"I said, does that mean you won't spank me anymore."

"Hell no. Battle is different from sex."

"Well, not really. Sex is a different kind of battle though." she giggles.

I smirk. "Glad we agree. Now when-"

"I want to have the wedding before January. Please. My gut is telling me to do it sooner."

"Fine by me."

"How about in June?"

"May. June's irritatin'."

"That gives me about five weeks. I think that's enough time."

"Go tell Shunsui. Take Yumichika with you. He looks far too bored over there doin' paperwork."

Another giggle. "Yes, sir."

I hand her some money. "Go shoppin' for anythin' you need for the weddin'. If you need more, ask Yumichika and I'll pay him back."

She hops to her feet and kisses me. "I love you. I'll come back as soon as I can. I don't need much really, just a few small things."

I wrap my arms around her and give her a rough kiss, stealin' all her air before turnin' her around and smackin' her ass. "Go on. And stay outta trouble."

"Yes, sir!"

My eye doesn't leave her as she gathers Yumichika and they head out. She trusts him. Maybe because he's one of the only ones not houndin' her about datin' him or because he's got that sarcastic fuckin' humor that she enjoys usin' on me sometimes. I don't know and I don't reckon it matters. I know he isn't gunna let anyone hurt her. He knows if he does, his head is gunna roll. I know she can take care of herself but I don't think she wants to sometimes. I think, deep down, my woman wants to die. I won't let her. She needs a chance to see how good the world can be.

***Harmona POV***

I go to Shunsui first, Yumichika in tow. He's in his office...with that damn Kuchiki bone head. I burst in anyways. "Swee, need to talk to you!"

"You're supposed to be resting! Go lay down somewhere!" he barks.

I decide to be cheeky and hop up on his desk, laying down. "I'm laying down. Happy?"

Shunsui covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. Byakuya looks at me with disgust but says nothing. Shunsui sighs and glares at me. "You, young lady, can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"Yep, I know. I learned it from the best way back when I was a kid." I dig at him. His smile lets me know he's not really mad.

"What do you want? I'm a busy man and you're being rude to Captain Kuchiki."

"Eh, the princess can wait for five minutes. I'm moving the wedding date from January to May. My instincts are telling me I need to do it before January. I don't know why."

"Why do you do this to me? Is Kenpachi aware of this?"

"Why do you think I'm here? Of course he knows."

"You really intend to marry such a brutish man?" Byakuya asks.

"He's my brutish man and I wouldn't love anyone else so yes." I growl.

"Don't get her started, Byakuya. Please. What day, brat?"

"The twenty first. Ok?"

He writes it on his calendar. "No more date changes. Fine. Get out of my hair! I've got important stuff to be doing."

I roll off the desk and, just to be cheeky, scatter his papers like old times. He and Kuchiki both yell at my impertinence so I run for it, laughing madly. I hear something about me being a bigger Yachiru and smile. Zaraki would be proud.

Yumichika eyes me. "You ok?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm fine. Just...something in my gut tells me I need to do this. Instinct or something."

He nods. "You have your dress. The venue is already picked because it's where all high ranking officials get married. So...what else do you lack?"

"Flowers, invitations and jewelry if I decide to wear any."

"The flowers are taken care of. Captain Zaraki arranged that already."

This shocks me. "Really? He did?"

"All but your bouquet, yes."

"I'm impressed."

"So, let's go get that taken care of. I'll help with invitations. I know how you hate paperwork."

I hesitate before asking him what I really want to. He's known Zaraki a lot longer than I have. "Am I really doing the right thing? Marrying him I mean? I don't want to make him weak."

"You don't know our captain like I do, Wolf. He never does anything he doesn't want to do. Trust me on that. He wants you. I've noticed that since you decided to be a person again two months ago, he's gotten stronger, really. It's scary. He's protective of you too. Have you noticed he won't let you go anywhere without an escort from either myself or Ikkaku? He trusts us with important tasks so to me, that makes you his most cherished item."

"Oh, I'm a possession now, huh?" I tease.

"You know what I mean. You are the person he'd lay his life down for, should the need arise."

"I don't want him to though. No one should have to make that sacrifice."

"You don't see yourself in a very good light, you know. You, my dear, are worth dying for, if only so you can see not everyone is bad."

"If you say so." I shrug.

"Hard headed as ever. Of course, our captain can be too."

I'm thinking. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am worth more than my eyes can see. I stop suddenly. "Yumichika....we have a problem."

"What is it?"

I sniff but the scent is gone already. "Damn it!"

"What?"

"I smelled him, Yumi. I smelled my father."

"Should we go home?"

I shake my head. "No. He's ruined my life enough. I refuse to run anymore. If he attacks, I'll slaughter him like the pig he is."

Yumichika's smirk eases my fears. "That's our Wolf. I'll be right here with you, cheering you on."

I nod, knowing he will be. I feel eyes on my back but refuse to turn. Let him come for me. Let him try to kill me again. I'm not afraid. "Let's go shopping, Yumi."

"Now you're talking."

The feeling of being watched doesn't go away, no matter where we go. Good. I'm right. He's here. Let him see me be happy. Let him try to stop me.

****Kenpachi POV****

I look up as Harmona and Yumichika come back into the barracks. She's smilin' and seemin' to be in a better mood than she has been the past couple of days. That's why I sent her. She takes her responsibilities way too damn serious, except for paperwork. She's a woman made for me, hatin' paperwork just as much as I do. Her smile makes me happy. However, so does the sake I'm drinkin' and the cards I'm winnin'. Ikkaku yells as he loses again, makin' me smirk.

"How are you so good at cards, Cap'n!" he yells.

"It's all there was to do besides killin' people when I was raisin' Yachiru."

"I see."

"Yumichika's back. See if he'll play."

"Sure. Take it you're going after some tail, huh?" he teases.

"For once I wasn't thinkin' about it."

He chuckles. "Something on your mind? Normally when you're free you're fucking her like there's no tomorrow."

"Her demon said somethin' about she's hidin' somethin' from me. She seemed confused though so it's buggin' the shit outta me."

"She's not knocked up, is she?"

"Shouldn't be. Her sword woulda told her not to do anythin'."

"True. You've seen her with kids though. You trust her to tell you?"

"She has been tellin' me when it's a bad time."

"You never know. She might forget one day or something."

"She's not pregnant. Orihime would've known it when she was healin' her from the poison. Plus that poison woulda killed it."

He nods. "You're right. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Maybe it's something she should know about herself but doesn't. Like Mori isn't her dad."

I look at him. "How do you know?"

He rubs his head. "I looked over the file after you left it on your desk. Sir, not only does she not look like him but there was a line that was erased from her background. I took it to Akon and...well Akon confirmed it."

"What'd the line say?"

"She's Ukitake's kid. It was erased so she would never know and so he'd never know."

"That's fuckin' dirty. Thanks for tellin' me though. Shunsui already did but that sinks it."

"Go be with her, sir. Break it to her gently though if you decide to. She seems to take new ideas badly."

"You noticed that too, huh?"

"Hard not to notice."

I nod and walk home. Ikkaku better be wrong. When I walk inside she's already startin' on makin' her dinner. Smells like pork of some sort and rice with veggies. Stir fry maybe. I creep up behind her and lay my chin on her head. "Get everythin' you needed to?"

"Yeah."

"You're tense."

She sighs. "I smelled him while we were out. Mori, I mean."

"You ok?"

She nods. "Yeah. I'm fine. I can't keep running. I have to kill him sooner or later.

"Good. I'm proud of you for realizin' it finally."

"Wedding first, then we'll do this Kisuke's way. You're right and Yumichika pointed it out. The constant fear and doubt really is fucking with me and I can't continue letting myself be hurt. I deserve revenge and peace...well, our version of peace."

"Who're you and what've you done with my wolf?" I tease.

"Some random woman who you're holding hostage." she teases back.

"Hostage, huh? Pretty sure hostages are tied up and helpless usually."

"Oh really now? Is that what you're going to do to me, Captain? Are you going to tie me up and ravage me?"

"You want me to?"

"When do I not?"

"When you're in heat."

She laughs. "That was last week before I left for Kisuke's."

Shit...we fucked the Friday before she left. "When was the last day?"

"Uhm...Thursday I think. Why?"

I sigh in relief. "We fucked last friday and I thought maybe we might've got you knocked up."

She frowns. "I don't think so. Okami would tell me I think but the poison would've purged my system of it if I were."

"That's what I thought too."

"Out of curiosity, what would happen if it ever happened?"

"I'd rather it didn't but if it did...we'll see. I don't know shit about kids."

She nods. "Fair enough."

The thought of how she'd look with her belly swollen with my baby enters my mind again. For some reason my dick gets hard and I feel pride for the image. "Do you ever get random thoughts in your head that you didn't have before you tied yourself to me?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I just get protective of you. I've never been like that with anyone else. It started a couple weeks after we started fuckin'."

"Okami says some of my instincts are rubbing off on you." she says, puttin' the food on plates for us.

"Wolf instincts?"

She nods. "Yeah. Don't worry about them. Yours will never be as strong as mine are so it shouldn't bother you any."

The thought lingers though. What if she is pregnant or does get that way? The very thought makes me want to fuck her until she is. Is this her instinct or my desires? Fuck it, who cares. She's mine. I'll do whatever I have to to keep her with me. I study her as she eats. She's so fuckin' beautiful. How can she not realize that? She'd be a good mom....what the fuck is wrong with me? The hell am I thinkin' about her bein' a mom for? If she gets knocked up she won't be able to handle the hard fuckin' we like or some positions. Hell, she probably wouldn't want sex at all. Still, thought thought of her rounded belly has me hard as a fuckin' rock. What in the hell?


	19. Chapter 19

"Captain Zaraki, progress report for your fiance." Shunsui orders. I roll my eye and sigh.

"She's still havin' nightmares but she seems happy. She's excited for our weddin' but she's sleepin' a lot durin' the day now since she's not sleepin' very well at night."

"I see. How's her mood?"

"She seems happy. Happier than she has been, actually. Less withdrawn. Think she's finally comin' around that people like her. She tends to go out with my lieutenant and third seat sometimes to socialize with friends at least twice a week, sometimes more."

Shunsui smiles. "Good. That's finally some positive news. Have you spoken with her about Mayuri's idea?"

"Yeah. She's hesitant about it. She doesn't want to be anyone's death sentence. I volunteered to be the partner but she still hesitates a little."

"Keep working with her. She's a liability in her current mental state."

"Yeah, no shit."

"You really intend to marry her?" So Fon asks.

"Jealous? You're a little short but pretty enough. If you liked me, you shoulda said somethin'."

"In your dreams, you creep!"

"Oh yeah, you're still after Yoruichi. Guess your door doesn't swing my way. Oh well, you'll find someone eventually, runt."

"Here we go again. Give it a break, both of you. Zaraki, are you sure you want to marry her? You've never shown signs of any sort of attachment to anyone before." Toshiro sighs.

"She's mine. I'll kill anyone that tries to stop it. I love her and that's that. She's doin' this of her own free will."

Everyone stares at me for a minute, which irritates me. Shunsui finally clears his throat. "Alright. You have four weeks until your marriage. How can we help?"

"I need Matsumoto on the day of to help her with her girly shit. Yumichika will be doin' her hair. Otherwise, that's it."

Toshiro frowns but nods. "I'll inform her of it."

"Anything else?" Isane asks.

I frown but shake my head. I'm not gunna say shit til she's married to me. I have suspicions though. Somethin' is wrong with my woman but I don't know how it's possible. "No. Everything else is taken care of. Harmona is efficient when it comes to plannin' things. Honestly, if she had the knack for it, she could be a lieutenant or captain. She's sure as hell strong enough for it."

"Let's pray that day never comes. Last thing we need is another psychopath in high ranks." Mayuri says.

"You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" I snap.

"Alright! Enough. Dismissed. Zaraki, you stay. I have some small details to speak with you about." Shunsui orders.

Man, what a fuckin' drag. I just want to get home and be with her.

***Harmona POV***

I'm snoozing in the dojo when Zaraki returns. The men have been training today, though not loudly. Ikkaku has been careful to keep them away from me, though Yumichika sits close in case of an accident. However, my peace is about to be disturbed. I'm startled awake when Zaraki lifts me and throws me outside. "Dojo ain't for sleepin'!" he yells.

"Yeah, I know. The heat's getting to me, Captain." I mumble tiredly before yawning and getting to my feet. "I'm bored. Let's-"

"No fightin'. You ain't been actin' right for a few days." he growls. He smells...angry? Why is he so angry?

"I guess I'll go do paperwork then."

He nods. "Good. Make yourself useful for once instead of layin' around all the time."

I glare at him but, before I can say anything I decide to turn on my heel and go to the office. What crawled up his ass, I wonder. He hasn't been mad at me for a long time, not since I was still a wolf really. He must've had a problem at the meeting this morning. What a grouch ass. As I sit at his desk and start on the paperwork, I find one that shocks me. It's a transfer request...for me. I read it carefully. His signature isn't on it. It's not clear who is requesting the transfer. This hurts but I take a deep breath. I'll ask him about it later, I decide, setting it aside...

"We need to talk." I growl as Zaraki enters the office after two hours of work on my part.

"What about?" he says.

I hold the paper out to him. He scans it then balls it up and throws it in the trash bin. "That came this mornin'. Mayuri fills one out at least once a month. This time he disguised it to look like I was requestin' it." he grumbles.

"Ok." I say, relieved. My attention goes back to the small stack in front of me.

"You thought I was gettin' rid of you, huh?" he says softly.

"Yes." I admit.

"Why?"

"You were angry at me earlier. What was I supposed to think?"

"I still am."

I look up at him and blink. "For what? What the hell did I do?"

"Lied to me, for starters. Shunsui told me a story earlier after the meetin'. Somethin' he knew you wouldn't tell me."

"There's plenty of those, Ken-"

"Don't say my fuckin' name right now, woman." he snarls with as much venom as he can. "You were engaged before once. That man came the fuck outta the woodwork a couple days ago and demanded your marriage contract be honored."

I stare at him and sigh. "It was arranged by Mori. I thought I'd chased that asshole off. I hated him almost as much as Mori. He was a fucking pervert. Did Shunsui tell you he started on me when I transferred to Yamamoto's squad? When I was ten before my boobs even started budding? I tried to kill him but Yamma stopped me."

He seems to settle a little. "You didn't love him?"

"Why would I? It's not like I liked being groped when he caught me alone. Oh yes, I was such a fucking slut when I was a kid. I ate it up." I snarl savagely.

"Harmona-"

"Don't fucking call me that, you asshole! I've never fucking lied to you about something as big as that. You're the only man I've ever loved and for you sit here and accuse me of loving someone else. I'm not your fucking ex!" I yell.

Now the shroud comes over his face. "Who told you?"

"Yoruichi did. But that's ok. It's fine if you loved that bitch before. But for you to get mad at me when you thought I did that same is not ok. It's not my fault your a fucking man whore that goes around sleeping with anything that's got a pussy." I get to my feet and exit the office. I was fine until he called me by my name. I was calm, though a little upset. To hell with him. He hates me now.

He grabs my arm from behind and I throw a punch, hitting him in the jaw. He doesn't release me, just tightens his grip. "Where you goin'?"

"Out of here since I'm a fucking whore obviously."

The men stop to stare. Zaraki eyes me. "You're not goin' anywhere. I won't allow it til you calm down."

"Fuck you! You may be my captain but you haven't slapped a goddamn chain around my neck yet. You never will now."

"What're you sayin'?"

"I'm saying since you think so lowly of me, who's only had one man inside my body, that maybe you should find someone else to keep your bed warm. Someone a little more to your taste. Someone without all the damage. Obviously, I can't be trusted."

He releases my arm. "No, Wolf." he says quietly.

"Why? It's obvious what you think of me."

He pulls me against his body. "I'm sorry." I take a few deep breaths, my anger at him still boiling but before I can speak, he continues. "I was angry when Shunsui told me there's another man claimin' to have a right to you. As for that bitch she got knocked up after a one night stand. She claimed it was mine and demanded I marry her. Yamamoto forced it. The night before the weddin', Shunsui and I caught her with another man, tellin' him his plan had worked and she'd be set for life with a captain raisin' his son. Mayuri did a blood test on the baby while it was still in her. It wasn't mine. She disappeared soon after and I got a letter a few months later tellin' me she was killed in the Hangin' Dog district."

"So why be so angry with me? Why not ask instead of getting angry first?"

"I was fuckin' furious. I don't wanna see you with another man...especially not now. I'm fuckin' attached to you. I've never felt jealousy before."

I sigh, the tension draining a little. "I'm not her, Kenpachi. I don't have any motive for marrying you other than love. As for the pig, I'll go kill him if it'll make you believe me. I've never loved anyone but you."

"I think you do have another motive." he mumbles.

"What was that?"

"Nothin'."

"You stink of lies." I growl.

"Nothin'. I'm speakin' outta my ass again, that's all."

"Obviously...let go. Now!" I yelp before throwing myself backwards and dashing for home. I barely make it in time before throwing up. That came out of nowhere. Zaraki is behind me suddenly, rubbing my back.

"You sick?"

"I don't know. It just came outta nowhere. I've been pretty stressed lately so maybe it's that." I sigh before flushing and getting to my feet. He grabs me by the back of my shihakuso and my obi before carrying me to bed and tossing me in. 

"You need rest, Wolf."

"I've been sleeping so much, why do I need rest?" I grouch.

"You can try to deny this all you want but we both know you're sick. What else do you need to get ready for the weddin'?"

"Pick up my footwear. Yumichika knows where to get them though, so I guess he could do it. And picking rings. And...cake."

"You stay in bed. I'll take care of that stuff."

I blink. "But-"

"No buts. You wouldn't let me help earlier. You'll do it now."

"I....ok. Maybe you're right. I don't care for chocolate."

"Noted." he says before kissing my forehead. "Sleep, Wolf. I love you and want you healthy. All this stress isn't good for you right now."

"When is stress ever good on anybody?"

He smiles a little. "I'll be back in a while. Sleep."

I get a weird feeling about his urging me to sleep but...maybe he's right. I have been feeling really sluggish the past few days. I close my eyes obediently and, with him petting my head gently, I'm out like a light within' minutes.

***Kenpachi POV***

"You seem lost in thought, Captain." Yumichika says softly as he leads me to the shop they bought shoes from.

"She's actually gunna wear shoes?" I ask to distract him.

"No. Not exactly. Barefoot sandals. She had them custom made. You're not allowed to see them so you wait here a moment, Captain." he says before flittin' inside. He's only gone about five minutes before returnin' with a small box. "Now, what else?"

"Cake and rings."

"Oh, that's easy....but you didn't answer me earlier."

I sigh. "She's sick. That's why she's sleepin' so much lately. She's so stressed out lately it's gettin' to her."

He nods. "I thought so. She's been looking pretty troubled lately. She's mentioned a couple times that she's smelled Mori."

"That's why I won't let her outta the barracks without you, me or Baldy. I know she can kill him but I wanna make sure there's at least one witness that'll be on her side so she won't get in trouble."

He nods. "Fair enough. I don't mind. She's really starting to open up lately."

"She say anythin' strange lately?"

"No. She's been drinking less while we're out though. She's not going to get drunk anymore, it seems. More like she's going out to just be around people. She really trusts Renji, myself and Rangiku. She's warming up to Ikkaku still."

"Good. She needs people she can trust."

Drinkin' less, sleepin' more and now a random case of pukin'. That's fuckin' great. She's not sick. She's got a damn problem. A big one.

***Harmona POV***

I'm sleeping out in the porch hammock when it shifts. Zaraki's scent floods my nose as he curls himself around me. "You smell like cake." I tease.

"Wonder why. I got everythin' picked. No more stress for you." he says softly.

"What flavor?"

"Lemon cake and vanilla icing."

"Mmm, sounds yummy."

He lifts my hand and slides something on my ring finger but pulls it off once he ensures it fits. "Good. I got the right size."

"Can we spar now? I'm bored."

"No. No sparrin' for you til after the weddin', at least. I don't want you covered in bruises."

This doesn't make sense to me. "Okami will heal them."

"No."

I roll over and glare at him. "Why? Bruises will heal."

"Wolf...the sleepin' and pukin' have me worried. I think you're pregnant."

I frown and sigh. "I thought so to, honestly."

"You need to go see Isane."

"I'm not going anywhere near Isane. It's just stress. I'm not pregnant."

"What if you are?"

"Then Okami will help and we'll be fine."

***Kenpachi POV***

"The hell do you mean?"

"I mean that Okami will make sure everything is ok. But I really don't think I am, ok? Please just calm down."

"I'll give it til after the weddin'. If you don't get better by then, I want you to go get tested."

"Fine, you overprotective worry wart."

I bite her shoulder teasingly. "Tryin' to drag me into a fight?"

"Not at all, Captain." Her leg goes over my hip as she presses herself up against me. "You keep biting me and I'll just have to punish you, sir."

"You and what army?"

"You will never see my army, captain....pray that you don't, in fact." she says, turnin' serious for a moment.

I wonder what she means but decide not to ask. Instead I kiss her, teasin' her tongue with mine. She catches me by surprise with her hand, grabbin' me through my hakama. I grab her hand and push it away gently, surfacin' for air. "I can't fuck you in a hammock. Well, I could, but I'm pretty sure we'd end up on the porch and or tangled up in this damn thing."

"Hmm, that would be interesting to see but I'm not really feeling up to fighting off a hammock. I do have some dignity to keep intact, you know." she teases, makin' me smile.

Suddenly, the alarm starts soundin'. "They're singin' our song, Wolf. You up for a fight?"

She looks bright eyed and bushy tailed suddenly. "It's a menos. I've never fought one before. Always wanted to try though."

"Wolf, no! You-"

She's gone in a flash. Damn that woman with her fuckin' shunpo! I throw myself outta the hammock and rally the men. Damn havin' duties as a fuckin' captain!"

***Harmona POV***

I'm standing on the wall that divides the Seireitei from the Rukongai. Four Menos Grande have appeared. This looks fun. Really fun. For the first time in a week, I have a lot of energy. Shunsui is at my side, his hand on my shoulder. "You should be with your squad, kiddo."

"Sorry. I'm excited. I need a challenge."

"I've got eleven on offense. I need you and Zaraki working together on the two to the left, ok? I'll handle the middle and Byakuya is with the team on the right. Normally, I wouldn't send a fourth seat but we all know you're stronger than you let on. You've got bankai, don't you?"

I nod. "I won't use it though. Not even if I'm on the brink of death."

"Harmona, baby, you have to if you need to. Promise me. I can't lose you. You die, Zaraki will go batshit and I'll have to grieve all over again."

I smirk. "We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

His arm drops to my shoulders and he squeezes me in a one armed hug. "Sic em."

I hear Zaraki try to negate that order from behind me but it's not clear even with my hearing so I hop over the wall and charge. Fun! Yes this will be fun!

***Kenpachi POV***

"Shit! Shunsui, she gets hurt it's your fuckin' head that'll roll!" I yell before gettin' through the gate. The men are to form a barrier in case there's any arrancars or anythin' on the ground while we're takin' on the Menos. She shouldn't be out here. I dodge a cero before usin' my shikai. "Drink, Nozarashi!"

As my sword becomes a huge fuckin' cleaver, Wolf drops from a tree beside me. "Ready, slow poke?" she teases, her voice that ugly hissin' noise.

"You shouldn't be out here." I growl.

"Don't you dare spoil my fun, alpha. We need this."

Her demon. Goddamn it. I get ready to say somethin' when she darts forward and sinks her claws into the Menos' robe. What the...she's climbin' the damn thing like a tree. She's gone crazy. It's hand tries to catch her but she latches onto it's finger and tears her way up it's arm. It aims a cero at her but she jumps on its face and howls. Her reiatsu forms a wolf head behind her, black and blue mixing together like a fuckin' tornado. She's goin' apeshit on it's head, clawin' at it until it's mask cracks. I know she'll be ok. She's focused.

I focus on my own opponent, who's taken aim with a cero. Shit. I won't be able to dodge in time. However, I swing Nozarashi down, lettin' the blade reflect the cero back at the damn thing. It doesn't hurt it, though there's some smoke of course. I go on offense, hackin' away at the damn thing. I manage to wound it in several places quickly, forcin' it to it's knees before I bring Nozarashi down on it's head. It screams as it disappears.

I turn and my heart jumps into my throat. It caught her and is aimin' a cero at her point blank. Shit! She laughs though. "Bankai! Devour, Aoi Oni Okami!"

What in the fuckin' hell!? The ground shakes beneath my feet, cracks formin'. The air smells terrible, like rottin' flesh. I watch as her ears and tail come out but suddenly her shihakushou is gone from her legs. Her feet have turned into wolf paws from the calf down. The Menos throws her, screamin' in agony. She didn't...what in the fuck are these goddamn things.

I'm surrounded by half decayed bodies, some closer to skeletons than anythin' else...all with blue hair. One looks at me, it's right eye hangin' on it's cheek. It doesn't attack, just stares me down. They're all over the damn place. Zombies. A howl from a tree a few feet from me and suddenly the things spring forward, climbin' the Menos much like she did. Blood is flyin' everywhere as they literally start eatin' the goddamn thing. It's fuckin' sick but damn am I proud of her. She drops to the ground and my heart stops again but for a different reason. She's completely nude except for tiny little chains criss-crossin' over her body and holding three wolf skulls up. Two coverin' her tits and a bigger one to hide her pussy. She's a little taller in this form, due to how she has to stand on those feet. Okami has remained the same as before, though it glows in her hand.

"Wolf?"

She turns to look at me. Her eyes are void of any color but black. "I won't hurt you." she growls. "This will be over soon." She's not wrong. The Menos screams again before topplin' backwards. The zombies turn into a giant cluster fuck, like ants, crawlin' all over it and eatin' it like a kid eats candy. It takes seconds. There's nothin' left when they're done. Holy fuckin' shit. The zombies return to Harmona's side and she releases the bankai, leanin' herself back against a tree. I walk to her.

"That is your goddamn bankai?" I ask.

"Stage one...I don't mind that one as much. Stage two is the worst." she says, smilin' a little. "Sorry if it scared you. I didn't want to distract you but I was getting tired so thought I should finish it quickly."

"Finish quickly, huh? I don't fuckin' think so." She cracks an eye open and I press my body against hers. "That was the hottest fuckin' thing I've ever seen."

"What was?"

"That blood lust in your eyes. And the chains movin' across your skin. And the skulls touchin' you where I wanna touch you." I grind against her a little. She lets out a soft moan and I capture her mouth with mine.

***Harmona POV***

His kiss lights a fire inside me that was smoldering there before. Every time I use my bankai, I get hot and bothered. Okami never tells me why. Now, luckily, I have someone to take care of it for me. I dig my nails into his back, moaning softly as I begin rubbing myself against him like a cat in heat. It's worse today for some reason...of course, I haven't used my bankai for...at least a hundred years, probably more. His groan of pleasure makes me sink my hand into his hakama, grabbing what's mine, rubbing his hard length to full arousal.

"Kenpachi, I need this inside me. Please! I need you to make me scream. I want you to fill me up until I'm overflowing." I plead.

He yanks my hakama down, followed by his own before lifting me. I wrap my legs around his hips and tear my nails down his back as he slams inside me. My back is against the tree, getting scratched, but who cares? He's grinding against every damn spot inside me that needs his attention. I capture his mouth again, kissing him like the world is going to end in the next minute.

"You two really should find somewhere private to engage in heathen activities." Byakuya's voice cuts in.

"Jealous that I've got a live woman, Kuchiki?" Zaraki growls, refusing to stop moving. He's antagonizing the princess.

"What was that disgusting feeling earlier?" 

Zaraki bites my neck, making me moan loudly. "My bankai!"

"Can you two just stop for two minutes!?"

"Don't stop, Kenpachi! Please don't stop! I'm so...oh god."

"See, Kuchiki? This is the noise a woman makes when you fuck her right. Just in case you forgot." Zaraki teases again before I scream his name loud enough to scare off all the birds in the area. "And this is what happens when she's pleasured right. I get drenched every time."

I glance over and see Byakuya watching with an equal amount of envy and disgust. "More! Please more!" I whimper mindlessly.

"Zaraki, really! Women deserve to have privacy!" the princess snaps coldly.

"I don't want it! I walk around naked half the time! Right there! Kenpachi! Fuck me!"

"Learnin' anythin', Kuchiki? Maybe you should put your mind past that wife of yours and find another one. A wild one that can fill your virgin ears with sweet music like this."

"Shut up!"

Suddenly Zaraki stops moving, locking himself deep inside me. His release burns like lava, making me drench him again. He kisses me gently before pulling out and fixing our uniforms. He turns to Byakuya. "Might wanna close your mouth. You'll attract flies, Kuchiki."

"You are a disgusting heathen, just like your woman." Byakuya hisses.

"You watched so what does that make you, princess? Hmm, what a nice rumor I can start about everyone's favorite captain. Oh, the poor girl's hearts will be crushed when they hear he's nothing more than a voyeur." I tease.

"You say one word and I will kill you."

Zaraki draws his sword, pointing it at the princess. "Dare you to try, boy. I'll gut you like a fish."

"You dare to challenge me?"

"My god this pissing match is making me horny. Mmm, Pachi, please-"

Byakuya runs for it, leaving me laughing so hard I'm crying. Zaraki is laughing as well. "Shit, woman. That was great."

I smile and wrap my arm around his waist. "I love you but you know he's going to give us shit now."

"Who cares. We got a noose danglin' over his head."

"Can we go home now? I'm sleepy again."

"You ate today?"

I shake my head. "No. I slept through breakfast and lunch. It's too early for dinner right now."

His irritated growl lets me know he's not happy as he picks me up. "Eat first. If you are knocked up, you need to eat more, Wolf. It ain't just your body anymore."

"I'm not pregnant!"

"I'm almost positive you are."

He better be wrong...please, let him be wrong.


	20. Chapter 20

I wait for Zaraki to get out of the house before dashing to the bathroom. It's the day of the wedding and I'm sick as a dog right now. There's no denying my condition now. It's not medically confirmed but this is the tenth day in a row I've woke up sick. And food smells funny. I'm fucked. Literally. The three weeks before this weren't so bad other than the exhaustion but I can't pass this off as stress anymore. When my system is finished purging what little bit is left in my belly, I get to the sink and brush my teeth. I just need to get through today.

"You look terrible!" Yumichika screeches upon arriving in the house.

"Nerves." I say.

"Shower! Right now! You look like you're letting birds move in on your head!"

I laugh a little. "Yumi, get a nausea pill from the med kit, will you? My nerves are so bad right now I'm making myself sick."

"We can't have that. Go shower. I'll get you a pill and some orange-"

"No juice! Please. Water. My stomach isn't going to handle any juice." I say, feeling sick at the mere mention of the word.

He eyes me keenly. "It's not just nerves, is it?"

"I don't know. Just keep your mouth shut, please."

He nods. "Fine."

I climb in the shower, letting the warm water relax my tense muscles. I'm still scared of crowds. This is going to be a big test today. From my understanding....the entire Seireitei will be attending. That's thousands of Soul Reapers. Plus Ichigo, Orihime, their son Kazui, Yoruichi, Kisuke and Tessai. I want to curl into a ball and hide but if I cower from this challenge, I will lose all respect I've gotten in this stupid city. I wish my mother was here to see this...the very thought that she's not makes my heart ache. I've claimed for a long time that I hated her but, in reality, I love my mother. Great. Now I'm going to cry like an idiot during the wedding. Stupid fucking hormones!

***Kenpachi POV***

"Cap'n...you sure you're ready for this?" Ikkaku asks as we sit in the meetin' hall designed for mass meetin's for the entire Seireitei. Harmona will love it, I'm sure. Shunsui has gone overboard with the damn orchids. They line the walls, the seats, petals on the floor...she's gunna sneeze her damn head off, probably.

"Yeah. She's mine, with or without marriage but Central forty six is still tryin' to find a way to remove her from my squad. This is the only way to keep her safe. Especially right now." I grumble.

"What's special about now?"

"Gut feelin' somethin's wrong. Don't know what but somethin' is wrong."

"You know, you accuse her of being bad at lying but you're bad at it too, sir." he laughs.

"It ain't my secret to tell."

"People should start pouring in soon. You know, I've heard a lot of women are pissed at Wolf for marrying you."

"If they'd wanted me for more than my dick, they shoulda said somethin'. Wolf ain't with me for that, though she says it's a good bonus."

"Yeah, we know. Much noise as she makes sometimes, you must have a damn club."

"Wouldn't you like to know...how's Nanao by the way?"

"Things are going slow but she's starting to warm up a little. Wolf's been giving me pointers."

I smirk. "You actually trust my woman with relationship advice?"

"Well, y'all are getting married so she must know something about it."

"Tch. I had to fight to get her to say yes."

"She's prefect for you though, Cap'n."

"Yeah, she is. I won't give her up without a fight to the death."

Shunsui walks in, minus the usual pink kimono over his shoulders. "Well now, don't you just look like a man getting ready to go off on a two week honeymoon?" he teases me.

"You better leave us alone for two weeks. We'll be busy relaxin'." I growl.

"Relaxing my ass. We all know what you two will be up to." Ikkaku cackles.

"How you feeling, Zaraki? You ready for this?"

"More than ready. I'm not lettin' you or Central Forty Six take her from me again."

He smiles. "I wouldn't dream of it. You know she just won't quit bitching at me about the infirmary incident. I think I messed up bad with that call."

"Really? You don't say."

"How's she doing? She's been looking a little pale the last couple of days."

"She's nervous as hell. She still hates people and crowds like this make it worse. I wish I had more time to work with her on that but for some reason she said she wanted to get hitched as fast as possible. Maybe she's afraid you'll take her from me again."

"Maybe. You know I was just doing what I thought was best. I know she's got a lot of issues from her childhood. I thought it would help."

"She's got me and that's all she wants."

He nods. "I see that now."

I get to my feet as people start pourin' in. Ikkaku punches my shoulder in a brotherly fashion. "Show time. You got this, Captain."

****Harmona POV****

I don't recognize myself in the mirror. Yumichika and Rangiku have completely transformed me. My hair has been placed into a messy bun on top with tiny, delicate braids dangling down from the sides and back. A violet kanzashi flower is above each ear with three little yellow tails. Rangiku has done an amazing job on my make up. Subtle, but noticeable above my eyes with the blue-grey shadow. My lips are tinted with a light red color and she's dusted my cheeks with pale pink to give me a little color. My ears are adorned with small sapphire tear drops to match the necklace. And glitter. Oh lord the body glitter. Zaraki is going to freak out.

"You're beautiful, Wolf." Yumichika says, smiling proudly as Rangiku finishes tying my kimono shut. "Absolutely stunning."

I lift my foot, smiling at the faint jingle. "Thank you. Both of you."

"It's a full crowd out...holy shit! You clean up nice, Wolfie!" Renji says, sticking his head through the door.

I blush a little. "You think so?"

"Think? What is this word you speak of?" He teases. "Man, Zaraki is gunna be speechless. You're beautiful, sis."

I tilt my head. "Sis?"

He scratches his chin and blushes a little. "I've kinda come to view you as a sister. You've never steered me wrong and you've always helped with Ichika since Zaraki brought you here as a wolf."

I smile. "Alright then, brother. Although how a rooster and a wolf came to be family, I'll never know."

"Who's walking you down the aisle?" Rangiku asks.

I frown. "I...actually hadn't thought of that."

"I will, if you want me to. I don't mind and I know Rukia won't either." Renji offers.

"Nope. Not going to happen. She's my kid so I'll hand her off." Shunsui says, bursting in. He stops dead in his tracks when he looks at me. "Oh, kiddo...I'm so proud of you." he says, tearing up a little.

"Stop! No crying! If you cry, I'll cry then I'll have to beat you up for ruining my make up!" I shout, causing everyone to laugh.

He wraps me in a hug, kissing my cheek softly. "She would be so proud. Both of them would." he whispers. I bite my lip to keep from crying. "You ready for this?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"We'll go get seated. Ichika is already throwing flowers so it's about time for you to get out there, Wolf." Yumichika says. Everyone but Shunsui and I sweeps through the door. I take a deep breath.

"You'll be fine. He's a good man, Harmona. I can tell he loves you more than he loves fighting." Shunsui says gently.

"I know he is. I'm just...a little nervous."

"You'll be fine. I've shortened the ceremony down a bit then we can go to the reception and that's outside so it's not as crowded."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank you!"

"I figured you needed a little break."

"I'm also nervous for another reason."

"What's wrong?"

I look at him then at my feet. "I think...I'm pregnant."

He waits a few minutes before clearing his throat. "Are you serious?"

"I think. I don't want anybody to know. I need to figure out how to tell him. I've been hiding the symptoms as much as possible the past ten days. He had suspected it four weeks ago so I just stopped letting him see."

He sighs. "Kiddo, this is a shock but I'm here if you need help, ok? You'll be fine. I've seen you with Ichika. As for him, don't let him fool you. He's ok with kids."

I nod. "Well...let's get this over with. I feel a little better."

He sticks his head out the door and gives a thumbs up. Suddenly, there's beautiful harp music playing. He turns to me and smiles. "Let's go see his face. I bet he won't be able to take his eyes off you."

"When does he ever?"

"True."

****Kenpachi POV****

The harp starts playin'. Shunsui is nowhere in sight. "The hell is that idiot doin'?"

"He's walking her. How wouldn't let Renji do it." Ikkaku whispers.

"That makes sense."

"Nervous?"

"Mostly because I don't trust Yumichika or Matsumoto. She better not come out lookin' like a clown."

"Look up."

I glance at the door and do a double take...this can't be my Wolf. She's...beyond stunnin'. A few people laugh, seein' my goofy ass grin but I don't care for once. The purple and yellow of her kimono blend with her hair beautifully. She looks like a fuckin' angel...no, a goddess. What the hell did I do to get rewarded in life like this? Wait a minute. I hear reiatsu bells. My eyes travel down to her feet as she gets closer. Cheeky brat put my bells on the yarn coverin' her feet.

As she steps in front of me, I can see the barely concealed fear in her eyes and nod. She's doin' good. She smiles at me nervously. Shunsui is talkin' and I'm not payin' attention until she gets a terrified look on her face. "What?"

"I said, do you take her as your wife for as long as you two shall live?" Shunsui prods gently.

"I do. I'll kill any man that tries to stop me too." I growl.

She relaxes. Good. I can't help it she's distractin'.

"I do." she says softly in answer to Shunsui's question.

"Then I pronounce you husband and wife. Zaraki, her ring please."

I hand him her ring and hear him mumblin somethin' before he hands it back. I put it on her finger. It matches her earrings sort of. It's a simple band made of silver with small sapphires in it alternatin' with a couple amethyst. She hands him my ring and he mumbles the same shit over it before she slips it on my finger. She picked it. It's black with a skull on each side of a sapphire, the mouths lookin' ready to swallow it. I love it.

"You may kiss your bride, Captain Zaraki." Shunsui announces.

She flies into my arms and kisses me like there's no tomorrow. Nearly everyone laughs at her cheekiness. I, however, am irritated. They really expect me not to ravage her right now? Are they fuckin' crazy? However, she pulls away, her eyes dancin' with more life than I think I've ever seen in her. I grab her hand and turn to face the crowd.

***Harmona POV***

He actually did it. I'm still in shock. When he didn't answer at first I admit, I started to panic but...he actually married me. He leads me down the aisle, now lines with the swords of squad 11 in an arch above our heads. When we get outside, he pulls me in for another kiss, a gentle one this time. "You look beautiful, Wolf." he says softly, ignoring the guests milling out behind him.

"Thank you." I say, blushing a little.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Nerves. Its better outside."

"Stay close to me."

"I can smell Mori. He wasn't in the hall but I smell him out here. It's faint."

"Don't worry about it. You know the men won't let anythin' happen to you."

I smile a little. "Can we go now? I'm hungry."

He gives me a look. "Depends. You gunna puke again if you eat?"

"How did you know?"

"Yumichika told me. How long you been hidin' it?"

"Ten days. I didn't want to worry you...I think you were right last month. I think I'm pregnant."

He sighs but nods. "It'll be ok. I ain't leavin' you. I know it's mine."

I hug him tightly. "Duh."

"Come on. Let's go mingle with these commoners."

"Now you sound like that princess voyeur pants."

His laughter rings, causing many people to flee out of his way as we make our way to the reception area in the squad 11 barracks. I've never seen it look so...festive. The men cheer as we enter. Sake is being passed around. I pass mine to Zaraki each time it's handed to me. It doesn't take long for the men to catch on but they don't comment at first.

"Now, who're ready for some food?! I've brought some favorites from the world of the living and have prepared it along with these fine men from squad eleven." Tessai yells.

He's greeted with cheers and whistles. Zaraki is chatting up Shunsui. I'm sitting at a table, between Renji and Ichigo, Ichika nestled in my lap sleeping. She's a red headed ball of energy usually but the excitement has gotten to her, I think. She's only seven. Kazui is asleep in Ichigo's lap too. He's a little younger than Ichika. They've been playing pretty hard while waiting on food.

"So...you and Kenpachi going to be having kids any time soon?" Ichigo asks suddenly.

I cough, having been in the middle of taking a drink of water. "What?"

"You seem to like kids and I think he does too, considering that little pink haired menace he used to have around him all the time."

"Yachiru was...a trip, to say the least. Captain Zaraki misses her though so don't bring her up." Yumichika says from across the table.

"Sorry." Ichigo sighs. "Anyway, so are you going to have kids with him or not? That's actually a really scary thought. He's like...big and scary and so powerful. I'd be afraid he would accidentally hurt the kid or something."

"Nah, not Zaraki. I've seen him with Ichika. It was pretty cute when she was littler. She invited him for a tea party once when she was four and Zaraki showed up on time and everything. He seemed to enjoy himself too, really." Renji chuckles.

"He's a big kid at heart." Yumichika sighs. "However, I don't really think he could handle an actual newborn."

"We'll see, sooner or later." I mumble.

Zaraki walks over finally and Renji scoots over for him to sit. I lay my head on his shoulder but he surprises me by putting his arm around me and letting my head rest on his chest. "The lunk heads borin' you?" he asks.

"No. I'm just finally feeling like this is reality and not a dream."

"If it's a dream, since it's me, it's a nightmare." he chuckles.

"Sometimes nightmares aren't that bad then." I giggle.

Food finally arrives so I shake Ichika. "Wake up, little monkey. It's time to eat."

"I not a monkey, Wolfie." she giggles as I start tickling her sides. She crawls into Zaraki's lap and I see him glance down.

"What'd ya want me for, brat?"

"Cause you're funny, Kenny. I wanna grow up and be in your squad. Have fun all day!" she chirps.

"Get strong and I'll make an exception to the no girls rule." he growls.

I see Renji pale and laugh. Maybe he won't be so bad as a father.

***Kenpachi POV***

She's bein' careful, eatin' the milder foods like rice and steamed vegetables and avoidin' her favorites. While I'm glad to see her eat, she's not eatin' much and it bothers me. I don't comment though. I won't ruin her surprise, if she wants it to be one. She's already drawin' attention by passin' me her sake cups.

"Alright, what gives! You're supposed to be drinking on your wedding day, Wolf!" Arimaki yells. "It's rude to keep passing them off to Captain Zaraki."

"I...uh...can't drink." she mumbles.

"Why not? You've drank with us before. Marriage doesn't change who you are able to drink with!"

"I can't, Maki Maki."

"Captain, let her drink-"

"I'm pregnant, you idiot! I can't drink!" she yells finally. The crowd gets silent and she blushes.

"Are you serious?" Ichigo asks.

"As a heart attack."

"Is that why he married you?!" Ikkaku snaps. The hell is he so mad about?

"No. I married her cause I love her. Wanna fight about it?" I growl.

It's quiet again until Shunsui stands up. "If it's a boy, you name it after me so I can spoil him to death." he laughs.

"In your dreams!" she laughs before drinkin' more water. She's been drinkin' a lot of water today and I think I know why. She fills her belly up with water, she won't want to eat that way she won't get sick. It's a good strategy but I won't allow it past today.

"Seems even bigger congratulations are in order for Captain Zaraki. First he finds something I've been looking for for two hundred years, then marries it and now is breeding with it. Well now, Harmona, you've done pretty well for yourself, haven't ya, you little bitch?" a dark voice says from on top of the barracks wall. "You've got all these men wrapped around your finger when your own mother couldn't even stand you. You know why she left you with me? At a year old, barely even crawling yet, you killed my wife. She was the first of your many kills. You're a blood thirsty monster. But you can't die. That's why Yamamoto took you from me! You can't die! You're a monster!"

"I've been smelling you the past three months, Mori. Did you come here to die, old man?"

Harmona's voice has changed. It's dark, even darker than when her demon takes over.

"No, girl, I came here to slaughter you but since you're knocked up, I'll wait. I want your husband and child to suffer like I've suffered without my wife. See you around."

Before anyone can move, the man is gone. Harmona grabs my hand, holdin' it tight and she starts tremblin'. The sour smell of fear permeates the air around her. "Wolf, it's ok." I say quietly.

"Search parties! Ten, five and eight! Find him and bring him into custody!" Shunsui orders before pullin' her up into his arms. "Harmona, honey, it's ok. We won't let him hurt you. Trust me and Zaraki, ok?"

"I'll kill him myself." she snarls.

"Wolf, stop it! Get a med kit!" Ikkaku yells.

Med kit....that's when I see it. She's turnin and her nails are sunk deep into her hands. She's tryin' to ground herself. "Shunsui, give her here. Hurry." I order. He gives me a stern look but places her in my lap. I push her head against my chest. "He can't hurt you anymore, Wolf. You're stronger than him. You can kick his ass real easy now. Calm down."

She turns her head and buries her nose in my chest before breathin' in deep. "I will tear him limb from limb, Kenpachi. I will do what I did to that doll and eat his disgusting corrupt heart fresh from his chest." she hisses.

"I believe you. Now settle down. You're burnin' me."

She takes another deep breath in...and another and finally she calms herself enough to release her fists. Her blood drips on my haori as I pull her hands away from her dress. "I'm so sorry."

Shunsui starts rubbin' her back gently. "Nothing to be sorry for, kiddo. However, you two need to go ahead and get outta here, ok? Go take your two weeks. Relax. You don't need to be so stressed out. Bad for baby."

"Uhm...Wolfie, would you mind if I heal your hands? It bothers me when people I care about are hurt." Orihime asks shyly.

"Sure." Harmona says, calmer than a sleepin' snake. She turns in my lap and holds her hands out to the girl. The dome appears over her and me both and I hold back a growl. Damn brat knows I don't need these little burns healed. Somethin' is different though. I hear soft thumpin'. Orihime looks excited.

"What the hell's that noise?" I grouch.

"Oh, Kenny! I've never healed a pregnant person before but my Shun Shun Rika tell me that that's the heart beats. There's two!" She giggles excitedly.

"Are you serious!?" Shunsui yells.

The girl nods. "Yes. There's two separate beats. Twins. Congratulations!" Twins? She's havin' twins? Oh sweet fuckin' blood on the goddamn battle field. Fuck me! Harmona goes limp suddenly and Orihime giggles. "I think Wolfie is a little shocked. She'll be ok, Kenny. Don't worry."

"Three weeks. I'm giving you extra because she'll need it. Once Orihime's done, get out of here." Shunsui laughs.

The cheerin' behind me from the squad is deafenin'. I poked her for fun and she took me serious. Too serious. Oh hell be damned! Fuck!


	21. Chapter 21

"Wolf, wake up. C'mon. Quit bein' weak." Zaraki's voice says in my ear. I groan and fly into a sitting position, accidentally smacking skulls with someone. I hear Zaraki's grunt and smile. Oops. "Easy. It's ok."

I stare at him and frown before getting to my feet and bowing to him. "I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"Enough, woman. Nothin' to apologize for. Now, you plannin' on eatin' more or-"

I look at Yumichika and smile. "I want to dance."

He grins back. "Zattsu Otoko?"

"Of course!"

I see Zaraki roll his eye. I've only seen him do this dance one time and he was very drunk with the recruits. I was still a wolf back then but he had ordered me to watch. I've never forgotten the fun and playfulness involved. I haven't seen the look on his face since.

"Men! Zattsu Otoko! Wolf demands it!" Ikkaku orders.

The men of squad 11 get in formation, waiting patiently for Zaraki to get to his feet. He smirks and nods. "Alright. For you, you spoiled damn critter." he says before pulling me into a kiss, which makes everyone cheer. I see Byakuya blush out of the corner of my eye. He must be having flash backs. Zaraki gets in front of the men and waves me forward. "Oh no, woman. You're joinin' in this fun."

Everyone gets silent as the musicians start a rhythm on drums and guitars, plus one flute...

Zaraki spins me around him as the dance ends, dipping me backwards before kissing me roughly then grinning with a devil may care look at the guests. I'm laughing, truly happy for once. The crowd cheers, clapping loudly for us. The musicians start another song and Zaraki pulls me against his body, guiding me in a slow, sweet dance. I lay my head on his chest, my eyes closing as I listen to his strong heartbeat in my ear. Other people join in, though give us plenty of space. I've never felt so...loved. I mean, I still think he's just saying he does, even if he did marry me. Obviously I'm just the only woman that can put up with him but....

No! Stop it, you fucking idiot. He isn't the type of man to marry you if you weren't what he wants! He's not the type to marry at all. Obviously you are his mate. He chose you! He loves you. Stop this stupid doubt! You are what he needs. His other half. No more darkness in your mind! Stop it!

***Kenpachi POV***

I feel her stiffen in my arms then relax again. What the fuck is she beatin' herself up about now? She's always doin' that. Tch. What a pain. She really needs to learn to have fun and quit the negative thoughts about herself. It's gettin' old already. As the dance ends, she kisses my chest gently before pullin' away and goin' for more water. She needs to fuckin' eat. I'm startin' to get pissed at her not eatin'.

***Harmona POV***

I smell Zaraki's anger. It smells like...sulphur. He's rarely like this. What's he angry about? I sigh. "Shunui...I think I'm ready to go. I'm getting tired again."

He smiles at me. "Sure thing. I've had a couple of your squad mates take your bags to your destination before the wedding this morning. You take it easy while you're there, alright? You've got our future in your belly."

I blush deeply and bow to him. "I will. No worries."

He nods and waves Zaraki over. "She's ready, old friend. Keep her safe."

"Like she's safe with me? Tch. You should know by now she's strong enough to keep herself safe but, should she fail, I won't let anythin' happen to her."

"You better not or I'll kick your ass myself, you brute."

They laugh and I roll my eyes. "Can we go now? And where are we going?"

"It's called....a surprise!"

"Shunsui!" I groan irritably.

Zaraki chuckles softly. "Come on, Wolf. Relax. It'll be fun."

I give him a funny look then decide to be cheeky. "You know, I think I'd follow you anywhere. You have a nice ass for me to look at."

He blushes a little and grins. "Shouldn't that be the other way around, woman? Shouldn't I be the one admiring your body?"

"Let's admire eachother's bodies."

"Think you two have done enough of that, obviously." Shunsui chuckles as he gets to his feet and opens a senkaimon for us. "Three weeks, then back to work you come."

Zaraki lifts me into his arms. "Ikkaku, you're in charge while I'm away."

"I got it handled here. Enjoy your trip, sir and have fun."

*******

I'm stunned into silence as we emerge from the Dangai. It's a hot place but...I smell salt water. There's a tropical forest for miles. A beach that stretches as far as my eyes can see. I can smell all sorts of wild life here and hear strange bird calls too. We're not in Japan, I don't think. I turn my head and spy a nice looking cottage. Zaraki heads for it and carries me inside before setting me on my feet. I wander around, smiling.

"Want to talk now or later?" he asks.

I glance over my shoulder at him. "Later. Much later." I say before turning down a hall to the right. I hear him following me as I check the rooms. A bathroom to the left. The right holds an empty room with some weights. Trust Shunsui to know Zaraki will want to work out, no matter that we're on honey moon. Well, I won't lie. I will too. The door at the end of the hall leads to the bedroom. Sakura petals line the bed and floor, giving the room a soft scent.

I feel the gentle pull on my sash and my kimono parts. His calloused hand slides over my stomach slowly, with a touch like a feather, tickling my skin until I'm covered in goose bumps. His hot breath puffs against my neck as he licks along my jugular. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, Wolf. I need to be inside you. Now."

His words strike a fire in my core. Just like watching that dance earlier did. I don't care that I've had him hundreds of times in the past few months. I will always want him. "Not yet, Kenpachi Zaraki....husband. Yumichika and Rangiku left you a present so you will need to be patient or things will get messy."

"Mmm, things are already gettin' messy, Wolf. You have any idea how hard it's been to keep my hands off you today? Obviously you're not shy about fuckin' in front of people but, since there were kids present, I restrained myself." he growls softly before nipping my ear teasingly. "What surprise could they have left? I'm not sure I could handle another one today."

"Are you angry?" I ask softly, bracing myself for the answer.

"No. Accidents happen. I can't say I'm happy but I'm not angry. We'll figure it out as we go."

"Then...why were you angry earlier after our dance?"

"You're not eating. You have two lives aside from yours to worry about now. I'm not goin' to tolerate you skippin' meals anymore." he says.

I nod. "I understand...I just didn't want to ruin the day by being ill."

He sighs. "You, of all people right now, have an excuse to be sick." He licks my neck again. "Show me, Wolf. I need to be inside you now. I need to hear you screamin' my name."

I blush and let the kimono fall to the ground.

***Kenpachi POV***

I step back from her. They've painted her with somethin'. It's different colors...a wolf. I circle around and the same thing is on the front but different colors from the one on her back. And even her pussy and nipples have been painted. "What's this?"

"Wolves." she says smartly.

"I meant what is it made from, you tease."

She giggles. "Lick me."

"Oh, Wolf, you have no fuckin' clue just how much I wanna smack that smart ass of yours." I laugh.

"Please, husband. Lick me." she says, that voice drippin' with as much sex appeal as she can. It works. Damn it, I nearly cum just from hearin' the desire in her voice. I notice a chair like what's in my office in front of a vanity table in the corner. Perfect. I pull it over and she seems to know what I want as she sits facing the back with her legs through the arms.

I get to me knees behind her. This wolf is only painted on her back, facin' the side. Brown, gold and a little red. I put my hands on her thighs, enjoyin' the shiver of pleasure she rewards me with. I start with the brown lines that form the wolfs head between her shoulder blades. "Chocolate. This gives me an idea for later sometime. You know I love chocolate." I growl, my lips brushin' her spine.

"I'm sure I'll enjoy whatever you decide to do." she sighs softly, soundin' high on life.

I smirk and start lickin' the gold lines...it hits me. Each of these flavors have a meanin' to us. "Caramel. Like the kind the men poured on your chest on accident that one day last month. You ran in the office and sat in my lap and begged me to clean it off you. Just like I'm doin' now. Did you enjoy that?"

"Yes! I love it when you're touching me, no matter what you're touching me with." she gasps as I squeeze her thighs tightly, teasin' her.

The red is right above her ass, the wolf's feet and tail. I take my time teasin' her with long slow licks before it's gone. "Cherry, hmm? I enjoyed poppin' yours. I think you enjoyed it too. I don't think my bed ever saw so much action before that night." I chuckle. She gives me a soft moan instead of an answer.

I gently remove the pins in her hair, placin' the kanzashi flowers on the table beside us. Her hair is a little wavy from the braids now. I watch it cascade down her back as I remove the tie for the bun. It stops just below her shoulder blades. Yumichika trimmed it again. Last night it was down to the middle of her back. Oh well, still enough for me to pull. I do just that, pullin' just hard enough so her head lays on my shoulder and her back is arched, thrustin' her tits forward. "Kenpachi...please. I'm so hot for you." she whispers against my neck.

Maybe pregnancy isn't such a bad thing. I've never heard her voice sound so damn hot and needy before. "I need to clean you off first, Wolf. I'm still hungry." I tease her before lifting her up and throwin' her on the bed. She lands on her hands and knees. I make my way over, discardin' my shihakushou on the way. The close I get, the more I can see how wet she is. Her pussy is practically glistenin'. However, there's paint on her lips. It's blue and ends on that thin strip of skin between her holes. Hmm. What kinda food will that be, I wonder? I grab her hips and start lickin'. When I'm done I devour her pussy with long licks against her clit before plungin' my tongue inside her. I pay attention to her g-spot the most, pressin' my tongue against it and wigglin' it.

"Kenpachi!" she cries. I can hear somethin' in her voice. She's gunna break soon. I don't want that so I back away. She groans in displeasure but I ignore that.

"Blueberries. You always manage to find the sweet ones when we're in the Rukongai." I growl. "I have more cleanin' to do, wife, so get on your back and let me feast on your body." I order.

***Harmona POV***

I obey him, laying down in the middle of the bed. My body feels like it's on fire as the special effect of the paint activates with each lick. He sinks down on the bed, kneeling above me. "You're a fine sight, woman. I could stare at you like this all day."

"Staring doesn't get the job done though, Captain." I sigh teasingly.

"That's very true."

His head lowers and he finishes cleaning the blue lines. I resist the urge to touch myself. I need friction so bad right now. "Please, Kenpachi. You're driving me crazy."

He ignores me though shows a little mercy by giving me two of his fingers, stroking me in a similar fashion that he did with his tongue. I can't fight as my back arches. His mouth descends on me again, focusing on my ribs and just under my breasts. This one might confuse him. The line is pink and flavored like cotton candy. He's brought me some from the Rukongai once and I loved it. He'd made fun of me for my facial expression the entire time I was shoving the sugary treat in my mouth but when I accidentally missed a stray bit on my cheek, he'd licked it clean. Things had then dissolved into what we're doing now.

"Cotton candy. You liked it that much, hmm?" he purrs.

"It's one of my fondest memories of you." I gasp as he adds a third finger inside me. He's teasing me, rubbing harder. I can hear the wet noises and it makes me hotter. I'm going to explode soon. However, he stops moving them and removes his hand. It's back in seconds, swatting my pussy playfully. I cry out in pleasure. He resumes cleaning me, licking the final lines, that are orange. He pays special attention to my nipples. The soft tugs of him sucking hurt a little on the tender skin and I'm shocked, feeling the need to fight my orgasm just from him sucking. His tongue slides over the other lines between my breasts, giving me a moment's respite. Then it's it's back on my other nipple. I can't fight it. "Kenpachi!" I moan as my orgasm washes over me. It's not a normal one. It's much milder, but the pleasure still feels so good.

"Mango really turns you on, huh?" he teases.

"I don't know what happened but don't stop. Please." I beg.

"That was the first thing you stuck your nose in my hand and ate without bitin' me. And you begged for more."

"I'd never had it before. It's my favorite fruit." I sigh. With no further preamble, he impales me. I lift my legs, wrapping them around his hips. He's slow and teasing at first, his hands holding either side of my head so he can stare intently into my eyes. Something is off. He's gentle. Zaraki doesn't do gentle. "Stop teasing me." I growl.

"Should I not be gentle? I don't want to hurt them." he says softly.

"Kenpachi, you've been rough before and obviously not hurt them."

He closes his eye and, in that instant I lose my patience. I tear off his eye patch. His reiatsu hits me, caressing my skin. His eyes are glowing. His thrusts become harder in me, hard enough that it feels like my hips will come unglued with one wrong move. My nipples harden painfully. I feel the sensation of being choked slightly and whimper, drawing him to a halt. "Wolf-"

"Don't fucking stop, damn you!" I manage to growl.

He rolls us, which eases the pressure. His hand grabs my hip, guiding my movements, the other resting on my chest above my heart. I'm covered in sweat but shivering. His reiatsu is so strong. I'm drowning as he fucks me. I can't breathe as the pleasure overwhelms me, forcing a scream from my starved lungs. His release burns through me like lava, prolonging mine. I collapse on his chest as he returns his eye patch to his eye.

***Kenpachi POV***

She's withstood my reiatsu durin' battle before. Her reaction to it now worries me a little. Her heart is beatin' way to fast and hard. "Wolf?"

"I'm ok....I wasn't thinking. I should've raised mine to match yours." she says softly.

I roll her beside me onto her back and put my hand back on her chest. It's slowin' down a bit. I trail my hand down and rest it between her hips, still havin' a little trouble believin' she's knocked up. She's so thin. I think she's lost some weight in the past couple weeks. I'm gunna have to keep an eye on her. I know eatin' makes her sick right now but she needs the calories.

"Stop." she says suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"Stop worrying so much. I'm fine."

"I ain't worried."

"Ok, liar. You smell terrible when you lie you know." she laughs.

"Alright, fine. I'm worried cause you've lost some weight."

She sighs. "I'll be ok. Promise."

I rub under her belly button, lost in thought. She catches me by surprise and rolls me over. Her eyes meet mine and the look she has on her face has me hard again. The look in those eyes speaks of a dark hunger that only my body can satisfy. Game on.

***Harmona POV***

I lay panting beneath him, my arms and legs keeping him pinned to me. His head rests on my chest. "Woman, we need a bath and you need food. I haven't heard your belly growl like this since the first time we fought." he says finally.

"Mmm."

"You agreein'?"

"Mmm."

He laughs. "I like that noise better when we're actually fuckin'. You've worn my ass out though."

"Mmm."

He shifts his body away from me and kisses my forehead. "Come on. Surely the great Wolf of Zaraki isn't so weak kneed she can't go run a bath while I go make breakfast."

"Bite me."

You know...that jerk follows directions a little too well...

****Kenpachi POV****

"Welcome home, Captain and Mrs. Zaraki!" the men yell as we get home. Three weeks has gone by fast but I'm glad to be home. While I enjoyed bein' able to fuck her all day every day, I still need fightin'. She's a little mad at me for refusin' to fight her in her condition. Just watchin' her durin' work out sessions, she'd fuck up durin' actual sparrin'. She's tryin' to hide it as best she can but she gets tired so easy now.

"Yumichika, come with me for a minute." I order, headin' for the office. Harmona lets the men surround her and take our bags. They're all chatterin' like a bunch of damn hens. I lead Yumichika into the office and get in his face. "You stay with her as much as possible. Keep her outta trouble. I'm settin' down a rule. She's not to spar with anyone until...after. She can work out, that's fine."

"Yes, sir...I take it this has caused some irritation for her?"

"Tch. You have no damned idea. She's tryin' to hide it but she's exhausted. Take her to squad four now. I'm gunna spar with Ikkaku. I need some entertainment that doesn't involve my dick."

Yumichika blushes and clears his throat. "I really don't need to know." 

I watch him leave and sigh. She's gunna be so damn hard to deal with for the next few months. She's like me. Gets bored easy and then causes havoc. Somethin' is puzzlin' me about her though. No matter how much I'd encouraged her to swim with me, she's refused. She'd stick her feet in the water but even with me holdin' onto her, she's scream at me to put her back on the beach every time I'd tried to get her to swim. It's botherin' me. There's several damn things botherin' me about her now that I've actually had no distractions so I could study her.

****Harmona POV****

I sigh. "I don't wanna go to squad four!" I growl.

"Captain insisted. It won't be so bad. I'll stay with you. I think he's worried. You do look tired." Yumichika says, concern edging his voice.

"I'm not!" I stomp my foot.

"You only stomp your foot when you're tired, so you must be." he laughs.

I sigh. "You're killing me."

******

"Let me take a look at you...hmm....Harmona, your body is exhausted. I know you just came back from your honey moon and I know you didn't get much rest during these past three weeks. If any at all. How's your appetite?" Isane asks as she listens to my heartbeat.

"It's better than it was. Still getting sick every now and again." I sigh.

She nods. "That should stop soon...say, you know, Ichigo and Orihime brought something while you were away and said it'd be something to keep handy for any women who get pregnant but especially for you since you're having twins. They called it an ultrasound and said it can see inside a person sort of like an x-ray but it's not a picture. Do you mind if I test it out on you?"

"Sure. Why not?" I grumble.

"Lay back for me. Untie your obi and I need your hakama down a bit."

She pulls a small screen in front of me and squirts some sort of gel below my belly button, using a wand to spread it around. White fills the screen and she keeps moving the wand a little lower until finally there's a black area with two white...

"Oh, Harmona! They're doing great! You're about thirteen weeks in so you've got a while to go. Ichigo told me that many women in the world of the living that carry more than one baby at a time tend to have them a little too early so we'll need to watch you."

I watch the screen as a tiny little hand flutters, the fingers curling into a fist and back out again. Isane moves the wand and I see tiny feet. Yumichika grabs my hand. "They'll grow, Wolf. With you and Captain Zaraki being so big, they won't be tiny for long. Captain Kotetsu, is there a way to tell what sex they will be?"

"Not yet. Ichigo said try around twenty weeks. So come back in a few weeks...Harmona, are you ok? You look pale."

"Just seeing there's two little people inside me is a little...strange." I reply softly, staring at the screen.

Yumichika kisses my hand. "Don't worry, Wolf. I happen to think this is a good thing. It'll help your mind focus on something aside from your past."

"Maybe."

"Harmona, you need to eat more if you can. If need be instead of three big meals, space them into six smaller ones so you're not getting sick. One baby is bad enough on a woman's body but two means you're going to have mineral deficiencies if you're not careful. Yumichika, since you're here instead of Captain Zaraki I'm assuming he's assigned you to keep an eye on her, right?"

I glare at Yumichika, who's blushing a little. "Yes. He just told me to make sure she's taking care of herself and eating. He's worried because she's lost a little weight these past few weeks."

"You try puking all the time and not losing weight." I snap.

Isane hands me a bottle of pills. "Nausea meds. Take one every morning. They last twenty four hours so you should start feeling better."

"Thank you, Captain Kotetsu." Yumichika says, releasing my hand. I get to my feet and adjust my uniform back where it should be. Isane hands me a picture...the tiny little hand. I smile a little and stick it in my pocket before following Yumichika, my new baby sitter. I'm going to have words with Zaraki. A big ugly fight probably.

****Kenpachi POV****

I'm drinkin' with Ikkaku when suddenly I'm hit by a familiar fist to the jaw. "Damn you!" she yells. "I don't need a babysitter, you overgrown moron!"

"Shut the hell up. Yeah you do." I growl.

"No, I don't!" She continues smackin' me around the head and shoulders.

I yank her down into my lap and use my arms to hold hers down. "Stop it."

"You stop it!"

"Wolf, why the hell can't you understand I'm tryin' you keep you safe and healthy for a few months!?"

"To hell with your safe and healthy!"

I let her go. "What the hell do you want? Permission to get your ass kicked and have a miscarriage?"

"I just want freedom! I don't need a babysitter! I don't need eyes on me all hours of the day!"

"You want freedom you'll have to find it outside my squad. My job, as your captain and especially as your husband, is keepin' you healthy and outta harms way."

She punches me again. "You're a real asshole, Kenpachi." she sighs before wipin' her eyes and walkin' into the office.

"Sir...I hear pregnancy makes women irrational." Ikkaku says softly. An empty sake bottle hits him in the head from inside the office and I hear her shout a few profanities at the baldy.

"She's always irrational." I grunt.

****Harmona POV****

Freedom outside the squad, huh? Fine. I'll play his game. I find the blank transfer request forms and fill one out with my name then carefully forge his signature. He and Ikkaku are talking so I take this time to hand deliver it to Shunsui. Maybe this will teach Zaraki a lesson not to fuck with me...well, no. He'll probably be happy to be rid of my crazy ass. Irrational? I'll show him irrational.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwK21L-zqDM  
> Here is the Zattsu Otoko dance. Please enjoy. This video is not mine but it's the best quality and subtitles I could find.


	22. Chapter 22

"She what!?" I hiss.

"She forged your signature and got herself transferred to squad one. Captain Kyorakou said he'd be by later to talk to you. She's...she's not doing so well." Yumichika says softly.

"It's been six weeks and it's just now been brought to my attention!?" I roar.

"Apparently she was so good at forging your signature that Captain Kyorakou didn't start figuring out that something was wrong until the Captain's meeting this morning when you asked if any progress had been made in finding her. He talked to her after the meeting and she came clean about what she did. His message says he's given her a lecture and Kotetsu has been told to come do an exam on her."

"What fuckin' time?"

"The exam? Two this afternoon."

I look at the clock and rush out the door. I'm beyond pissed. I thought she'd been taken by Mori or somethin'! Goddamn fuckin' sneaky ass bitch!

***Harmona POV***

My door slides open. "Harmona, you awake, kiddo?" Shunsui asks.

"Yeah." I answer softly.

"Uhm...well, Isane is here and so is Kenpachi."

At his name I start sobbing, prompting Shunsui to hurry to my side and hold me. "Shh. I told him what you told me. That it was in a fit of anger and you thought it was a prank. We've gotten all the paperwork filled out and you're back in squad eleven. Can they come see you?"

"No. He hates me now probably. I'm such a terrible person." I whimper.

"Trust me, that man doesn't hate you. If he did, he wouldn't be here and wouldn't take you back in his squad. Come on, kiddo. We really need to get you checked out, ok? Your behavior this past week is making me worry."

"The nightmares are bad again. I smell Mori everywhere I go. Even here." I whisper softly.

"Which is all the more reason you need to be with Kenpachi, baby. He won't let anything happen to you. I can't keep as good an eye on you as he can, since I'm now head captain with extra duties. Please, do this for me, kiddo."

I wipe my eyes and give him a small smile. "Ok, da...Sw-"

He hugs me tight. "Call me dad if you want. It would make me proud. Hell, I'll formally adopt you, if you want."

I start sobbing again. I've always wished Shunsui was my father since that night when I was six. He was always there for me when I needed help or a shield from Mori. Jushiro was too, of course, but with his illness he couldn't be on hand as much as I needed him. "Ok, dad. I think I'll be ok."

****Kenpachi POV****

"Don't be angry, Kenpachi. She was trying to teach you a lesson and it backfired. I don't really think she thought it through before she turned it in." Isane sighs.

"I'm not angry. She told Shunsui she did it because I told her if she wanted space to get it outside of my squad. As usual, she took that as a challenge. I just wish someone woulda fuckin' told me she was here in squad one. Six weeks missin', my men lookin' for her, no sign of her. My mind was in a dark fuckin' place for awhile, thinkin' Mori had her." I growl.

"Alright, you two. Come on. Zaraki...this is going to come as a shock. She's been really sick the past two weeks. Not sleeping and not really eating either. Nanao has been trying to get her to let the medics look at her but she refuses every time. I kinda forced her to agree. I'm worried to death about her, let alone the babies." Shunsui sighs.

I brush by him, ignorin' his words to tell me to calm down. I get in her room and stop dead. She looks worse than when she first came outta her wolf. Her back is to me but I can see it in the way her robe hangs off her shoulders. I swallow what little anger I had and walk closer before wrappin' my arms around her on reflex. She turns and puts her arms around me. My chest is instantly wet. "The hell you cryin' for?" I ask softly.

"I'm sorry." she says.

"Tch. I ain't mad." Her belly is swollen, though not very round yet. Somethin' tickles my gut. I can barely feel it but instinct tells me what it is. I smile a little and kiss the top of her head.

Isane coughs politely. "Can I do my exam? You can stay, Kenpachi. Harmona, I need you to lay down." 

She does as she's told, layin' on her bed. I take her hand as Isane parts her robe. I hold in a curse. Her ribs are stickin' out far enough I could play a goddamn dance on em. Shunsui wasn't kiddin'. I look at her face. Her eyes are surrounded by shadows dark enough that it looks like someone hit her. Her skin is even more pale than it was the last time I saw her.

"Oh, Harmona!" Isane gasps.

She closes her eyes. "The nightmares are bad again....I've been too scared to eat." she says softly.

Shunsui kneels by the head of the bed. "You've got this bad habit of holding things in and not asking for help, sweetheart." he sighs.

I watch Isane squirt some kinda weird gel on Harmona's belly and pull a little computer lookin' thing closer before stickin' a weird lookin' stick on the swollen part of her belly. It's all a weird white then I see a tiny ass foot on the screen. "Is that...?"

Isane smiles. "Yeah. Let me take a look here....Ok, we'll call this one A." she mumbles. I see a face as she shifts the stick around. A tiny face...with Harmona's nose. The lips lift into a smile for a brief instant. "Looks good, guys! Skull looks to be the right size for this point in development. Aww...Harmona, do you want to hear the heart beat?"

"Please!?"

A soft swishin' noise comes outta the little computer. I've never seen my woman smile so big or her eyes widen like this. Her eyes are full of...wonder. Like a kid in a damn candy store. Isane laughs and moves the stick again. I see...legs and..."Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep. This one is most definitely a boy." Isane says, blushin' slightly.

"Good!" Harmona giggles.

"Now, how about the other one?" Shunsui asks.

Isane moves to the other baby and takes some measurements. "This one is looking great too, though a little smaller than your little guy." More swishin' noises, faster than before. "Heart sounds and looks great!" She moves between it's legs and giggles. "Well, that's perfect."

"What? I don't see anythin'."

"Exactly. It's a girl." I can't hide the smile. I can deal with girls. They're easy...boys however, I've never been around a baby boy before. That might be a little difficult. Harmona tightens her grip on my hand. She looks ready to cry all the sudden. Isane cleans her belly off and helps her sit up. "Ok, Harmona, you've lost entirely too much weight. Your body is giving all the nutrients to the babies instead of you from what little bit you are eating. I know you know that." Isane chides her gently.

"Don't worry. I'll handle it." I say before pullin' her up in my arms. Harmona rests her head on my shoulder. "Let's go home."

****Harmona POV****

He doesn't say anything on the way home, though I can tell he's thinking. When he enters the barracks with me the men stop what they're doing and crowd us. "Give her space. Yumichika, she needs food. I don't care what you bring her. Hell, make her a damn steak for all I care." he orders.

"Got it. Welcome home, Wolfie."

Zaraki goes home with me and sets me in the hammock, curling his body around mine. He places a possessive hand on my bump. "Tell me why." he orders softly.

"I was just so mad that day. You just didn't seem to trust me to take care of myself. You wouldn't let me do anything. I just...I was trying to teach you a lesson but it backfired. I forgot you can't feel reiatsu like everyone else. And my demon was...worse than usual. I'm sorry. I should've came and talked to you calmly."

"We both know your temper is a force to be reckoned with." he sighs. "You make me worry like this again, soon as these pups are outta your belly, I'm gunna kick your ass. I thought Mori had you."

"I...wasn't even thinking about that. I'm so sorry."

He starts rubbing my bump softly. "Boy and a girl, huh? That'll be fun."

"You actually want them now?" I ask softly.

"I wasn't happy at first. These past six weeks made me realize I was an ass about it. I'm not made to be a dad. Don't know the first damn thing about it but...I'll try. And at least you know I won't be like Mori. I don't believe in hurtin' a kid unless there's a damn good reason for it."

"If you tried, I'd kill you."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I know. Shunsui would too."

I yawn as he continues rubbing, only stopping every once in awhile when he feels the tiny kicks. I'm so tired I can barely hold my eyes open. As usual, his very presence comforts me. "I'm sorry I'm a pain." I mumble.

"Tch. I knew you would be. Females always are. But I don't give a shit. You're my woman."

"Love you too, ya jerk."

He starts rubbing again and I feel myself sinking into sleep...until the smell of hot beef hits my nose. "Wolfie, you're being spoiled. Not only did we leave it a little raw in the center like you enjoy, but the men put a lot of rice and mochi on your plate. If you don't eat, I will have your husband hold you and I will shove it down your throat." Yumichika says haughtily.

"Oooh, kinky." I giggle.

Zaraki's laughter is loud, as is Yumichika's outraged protest of my dirty minded concoctions. I've missed them. Zaraki helps me sit up so I can eat. And eat I do. Probably more than I should, but I feel safe now. Zaraki watches me, his hand never leaving my belly. So, the big guy has a soft spot after all. Maybe I can use that to my advantage later on. Yumichika grumbles at me the entire time but I finish the meal before handing the plate back. "Better?"

"Much. You have a lot of weight to gain back. It is now my personal mission to make sure you're eating." he grumps before turning and leaving.

I yawn again and lay back against Zaraki's chest. "I think that was the single most stupidest thing I've ever done. Remind me to think before I do things again."

"Hey, Wolf, think before you do stupid shit again." he teases. "You need to sleep. These dark circles worry me."

"Don't suppose you have time for a nap?"

He pulls me down again and goes back to rubbing my bump. "I got time for a nap and you're stuck with me right here. Go to sleep."

I close my eyes obediently. "You don't have to rub my belly all the time."

"Does it bother you?"

"No."

"Then get over it. I wanna rub it."

I giggle. "I think you'd enjoy it more if I rubbed it."

"What...you pervert. Go to sleep. You're in no shape for fuckin' right now."

"Yeah, probably not."

I focus on the sound of his heart and, before I know it, I'm sound asleep.

****Kenpachi POV****

I hold out some dried mango to Harmona. "Come on, prego pants. You're not tired already."

She groans and flops onto her back. "To hell with you. I can't do anymore. My fat belly is in the way."

"Well, twenty sit ups is pretty good, I guess." I chuckle. I know, without her belly bein' full of babies, she could do more, but I ain't gunna push her. She looks damn good right now, honestly. She's got her hakama on but, since she's hot, she's only in a sports bra, so her belly is in full view. She's about eight and a half months along now and looks ready to pop at any time. My earlier imaginin' of her belly bein' swollen with my babies is nothin' compared to this. "You want this?"

She holds her hand out and I help her sit up. "Gimme!" she says, snatchin' the fruit from my other hand. I chuckle and sit beside her, wrappin' my arm around her shoulder. She's covered in sweat but I've been easy on her lately with the work outs. I only do em to keep her for goin' stir crazy, really. Isane had told me durin' her last check up two weeks ago that keepin' Harmona limbered up will also help her body durin' labor. So, stretchin', goin' for walks and a few sit ups or squats here and there when she feels up to it.

"You're doin' good, Wolf. Proud of you." I tell her.

"I just want this to be over. I feel like Omeyeda looks." she grouches.

"Yeah, but you make it sexy."

She blushes and shivers. "Eew. You're not right in the head." I watch her belly as it jiggles. I see a foot, clear as day press right against her belly button and I reach out to tickle it. She grunts as it kicks my finger. "Stop it! It's hard enough to breathe without you encouraging them to abuse me."

I don't listen, of course, and tickle the foot again. "It's funny."

"Not funny when I need to pee again, you jerk."

I chuckle and get to my feet, grabbin' her hand to pull her up. As I do, she gasps in pain suddenly. "Shit!"

I stare at her, waitin' for her to recover. She does but looks pale. "You ok?"

"Yeah. I think. I need to go...oh god. Kenpachi, I think it's time." she gasps again.

I look down and see blood on the floor. I lift her in my arms and get outside. "Ikkaku, get a message to Isane. Now."

"Is it time?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Alright. I got it."

I carry Harmona to the house and get her in the bathroom. She hobbles to the toilet and I help her get her hakama off. They're drenched, as are her panties. Blood is drippin' down her legs. I pull her panties off gently and help her sit. "You want me to run you a bath so you can clean up a bit before I take you to squad four?"

"Pachi...I think I should tell you uhm...I don't think we're going to squad four today. Isane is going to have to come here."

"Why?"

She looks at her feet. "I've been having contractions all day. They're too close together now. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have during our work out."

I stare at her for a minute but bite my tongue. I've known her pain tolerance is high. I didn't know, however, that she'd be so fuckin' hard headed. "Woman, I'm gunna kick your ass."

She groans. "Go ahead and run a bath. Maybe it'll help a little."

As I turn I hear her groan again and I hear her either pissin' or her water breaks completely. I can't tell which but I smell the blood. "Well, this'll be a good story for em when they're older. Mom is too fuckin' hard headed to admit she's in labor so she goes to work out with dad and there you were born, kids." I tease.

"Shut up." she growls.

I turn the water off once the tub is filled half way, then turn to help her in it. She's wipin' herself clean and I growl. "Wolf, it won't matter. You're about to get a helluva lot dirtier."

She nods and I get her in the tub. Before I can stand she grabs my face and kisses me. "I love you. Happy birthday."

"My birthday was yesterday, knucklehead." I say, kissin' her back. "I'm gunna go send a message to get Isane here, ok? I'll be right back."

She nods. "Ok. I'll be ok for a few minutes."

I walk out and get on the porch. The men are waitin', some looking confused, others lookin' anxious. "She ok, Cap'n?" Ikkaku asks.

"Well, yeah and no. I need Isane here. That damn numbskull in there didn't tell me she was in labor all day and it's too late to get her to the infirmary now." I sigh.

"So...wait, she's gunna have the babies now?"

"Well, not right now but soon. I've got her in the bath right now but her water broke completely. She says her contractions are too close together."

"Sir, I'll get a message out. Is there anything else you need us to do?" Yumichika says seriously.

"Not right now, no...well, actually...get a message to Shunsui. He'll wanna know. And Renji, since she unofficially adopted him."

The men nod and scatter. Yumichika speaks a message to a hell moth and sets it loose before turning to me. "Are you holding up alright?"

I nod. "I'm fine. Do me a favor and stay here on the porch. I gotta get back-"

She screams and my stomach drops. I turn and run back to the bathroom. The water is a little bloody and she looks terrified. I drop to my knees beside her. "You're ok. Shh." I say, kissin' her.

"Pachi...I need to push. Okami is trying to help as much as he can but my body is screaming at me to push." she whimpers.

"Then do it. I'm right here with you."

"I need held. I'm so scared." she cries.

I sigh but strip my uniform off, leavin' my boxers on before gettin' in the tub with her and wrappin' my arms around her. "I'm here. Do what you need to do, Wolf. I'll be right here with you."

"I love you."

"Love you too. I've got Yumichika in the door on the porch. Let me hollar at him so he knows what's goin' on." I cover her ears. "Yumichika!"

"Yes, sir?" I hear him yell from the bedroom door.

"She says she needs to push so there's gunna be a lotta screamin'. I'm in the tub with her. If Isane shows up, get her in here."

"Got it!"

I feel Harmona tense and grab my hands tightly. I move them from her ears and put em on her belly and rub. She's seemed to calm down when I do this the past couple weeks. "Ready when you are, Wolf. Do what you gotta do."

"I can't do this!" she cries.

"Yes, you can. You got this, Wolf. You're a stong woman. You can do this." I feel her move her hand from mine and watch her put it between her legs. Her other one tightens on my hand again as another contraction hits. She screams as she pushes and the water gets darker. I don't stop rubbin' her belly, not even when Isane shows up. Thank fuck for small miracles. I have no fuckin' clue what I'm doin'...

***Harmona POV***

I'm exhausted. The cries of my babies let me know they're ok. Isane has me hold them while Zaraki gets out of the tub and dries off. "Harmona, I need to get you moved so I can check for tearing, ok? Would you let me take them to you and Zaraki's room so Hanataro can get them cleaned up ad weighed, please?"

I hold them tighter to me for a moment but a look from Zaraki silences my protest. She takes my daughter first and then my son, carrying them to our room. I hear her tell him that my son was first so his measurements are to come first. Zaraki kneels down to kiss me softly. "I know you're hurtin' pretty bad right now but otherwise, are you alright?"

"I think. I'm just so tired." I sigh, returning his kiss.

"I know. You did good, Wolf. I'm proud of you."

"Alright, Captain. I need you to hold a towel. I'll help her stand then you can carry her into the bedroom for me, ok?" Isane says, giving me a wan smile. Zaraki kisses me again before getting to his feet. He holds a towel at the ready before Isane helps me stand before Zaraki wraps the towel around me and lifts me into his arms. He follows Isane from the bathroom. Yumichika is with Hanataro, keeping an eagle eye on the kids. Zaraki lays me on the bed and kisses me again softly. I feel Isane part my legs gently. "Hanataro, I need some gauze please."

The boy hands it to her shyly, keeping his head turned. She gently cleans me up. "No tears. That's great. How you feeling, sweetie?"

"I'm tired." I mumble.

"Yeah, I bet. Captain Zaraki, she'll need rest and help for a few days. She's going to be really sore. No sex for six weeks at least and I'm demanding she get on birth control!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever." he growls.

"Oh, Captain! She's got your eyes!" Yumichika squeals in a very non-manly manner, making me smile. "They're so pretty!"

I see Zaraki blush a little but he doesn't reply.

"Captain, the boy is six pounds and two ounces. Eighteen inches. Health seems very good. He's screaming the louder of the two." Hanataro laughs softly.

"Good. And the girl?"

"She's small but seems pretty healthy too. Five pounds, ten ounces and....also eighteen inches."

"And a gorgeous head of black hair! Captain, you may be an ugly brute but you sure do make pretty babies." Yumichika gushes.

"Shut the hell up."

"Good. Harmona, you ok?" Isane asks.

I nod. "Wolfie is tired."

Isane stands and nods. "Well, all three of you seem healthy. I'd like to give you all a check up in a week, ok? For now, Hanataro, let's give them some peace and quiet. Congratulations, both of you."

They leave, leaving me with Yumichika and Zaraki. "Captain...congratulations, sir." Yumichika says quietly before sitting beside me on the bed. "Wolf, I'm so proud of you. You're such a strong woman. And so brave." he says, patting my hand gently.

"You're gunna make me cry, Yumi." I sniffle.

"Well now, we wouldn't want that. May I have their names?"

I glance at Zaraki who shakes his head. "I only had one name for a girl and it's taken so it's on you."

"Takeshi for him and....Michiko for her." I say softly.

"Lovely. I'll go speak with our squad." Yumichika says before leaving in a hurry. I listen for a moment before it sounds like the entire barracks roars in excitement.

"Pachi...much as I love being naked, I'd really like to get a pad between my legs before I ruin the bed."

He laughs and kisses me. "Alright, Wolf. I think we could both use a nap."

****Kenpachi POV****

Once I've helped her get cleaned up and situated, I look at the two little...creatures in their bassinets. One is wrapped in lavender colored blankets and I can tell it's my girl because of her black hair. The other is wrapped in blue and he's just starin' at me, quiet as can be. His hair is...a mix it looks like. Black but blue undertones in it. His eyes are blue but not Harmona's blue. They both look so damn puny. It's botherin' me. Tiny things and I don't get along. Apparently he thinks the same thing because he lets out a loud scream.

This is going to take a lotta gettin' used to.


	23. Chapter 23

Small whimpers wake me. My back is cold. I hear him talking softly and roll over, turning the lamp on. He looks less than thrilled, both arms occupied by an infant. I sit up and hold my arms out. He looks a little relieved and comes to sit beside me. "I think they take after you." he says softly.

"What do you mean?"

"They have loud bellies too."

"What do...oh. Uhm....Well, I guess I can try to feed them."

"What the hell do babies eat?" he sticks his finger under Takeshi's lip. "There's no teeth!"

I burst out laughing. "Babies don't have teeth, idiot." I remove my robe and hold my arms out. "Let me have one. Isane told me what to do."

He manages to shift Takeshi into my arms. My little guy is starting to really fuss. I get him situated and blush a little, avoiding eye contact with Zaraki as my son latches onto my breast. There's something strange about how it feels. I'm used to Zaraki sucking on me. This little one is gentle but it's a harder pull. After a few minutes I feel a strange sensation and I know whatever he's doing is stimulating the milk.

"So...guess that means no playin' with your tits for awhile, huh?" Zaraki chuckles.

"Probably not."

I glance over at him and melt. He is gazing at Michiko with a look I've never seen on his face before. Pride but a softness that just lays my fears to rest. Michiko looks at the finger he holds up and grabs it, her tiny hand looking so fragile against his giant hand. She seems content with his finger. "She's so tiny." he says softly.

"Most babies are." I reply, looking down at Takeshi. He's slowing down, it seems. His eyes...they're my mother's. It takes my breath for a moment. A few more moments and he lets go of me and yawns. I rotate him, offering the other breast but he simply refuses. "Trade me."

Zaraki does just that and offers his finger to Takeshi as well, who simply stares at it in irritated fashion before he lets out a scream again. Zaraki looks confused by this. "Why does he do that?"

"It's his war cry." I tease as I finally get Michiko latched onto the breast Takeshi wouldn't take.

"Well, he's a little small to be lettin' out a war cry. Gotta grow a bit."

"You seem to forget who his dad is. I'm pretty sure I hear your war cry a few times a day."

"Yeah, but at least I've grown into my hakama!"

"Physically, yes. Mentally...not so much."

"Brat."

I lay my head on his shoulder. "I love you."

"Love you too....you know I have no damn clue how to change a diaper."

"We'll have to learn together unless you want them running around naked."

"No. You do that more than enough....speakin' of, how you feelin'?"

"Still pretty sore but otherwise I think I'm ok."

He nods. "You did good. Might hafta breed you again sometime. You make pretty pups."

"I will murder you!"

He laughs. "I was just teasin'...they look a lot like you, Wolf."

"They look like you a little too, especially because she has your nose."

Michiko seems to drift into a doze as she unlatches from me. "Think it's time to figure this diaper thing out."

He sets Takeshi in my lap before getting up and retrieving the cloths for diapers and a few safety pins that Ichigo and Orihime had delivered a couple weeks ago. He also brings me a pack of wipes. I set Michiko beside me, since Takeshi is already in position, and unbind his blanket. I study how his diaper is on and mimic the fold pattern before getting him changed and folded back into his blanket. He coos at me softly before closing his eyes. Zaraki swoops in, picking him up and carrying him back to his little cradle to sleep. I get Michiko changed quickly and efficiently, wrapping her back up. She, however, doesn't seem to care for this arrangement. She starts whimpering. Once again, Zaraki swoops in like a damn vulture. However...she settles down immediately. He begins singing to her, softly and I have to wipe my eye. He's...not that bad of a dad. I watch him lay her in her cradle too before coming back and laying down beside me, turning the lamp off. I snuggle down beside him and he rubs my now ruined belly. I frown but don't fuss at him.

"Stop." he says suddenly.

"What?"

"I know what you're thinkin'. You're still beautiful. This belly is where my children have lived for the past few months. The fat will come off eventually. I don't care. You'll always be beautiful to me, Wolf."

"You're gunna make me cry." I whimper.

"Then cry. Roll over." I get on my back and he kisses me gently before reaching down and massaging between my hips. It hurts a little but feels kinda good too. After a few minutes he moves himself a little and kisses my belly gently in several places. I start crying and can't stop. His lips come to my face and kiss away the tears. "You're my woman. Now, go to sleep. You need rest, Wolf."

For such a big, manly man to show me such softness...I decide it's time to let my demon go. He's wrong about me. Wrong about Zaraki. I need peace.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch over Wolf and the kids as she lets them chase her around the dojo. It's kinda cute. They're slowly pickin' up this crawlin' stuff. It helps that Harmona is in her wolf so they can see how to move their limbs better. Michiko face plants suddenly and I can't stop myself. I pick her up and check for damage. Other than big crocodile tears, she's ok. She gives me a big grin. "Yeah, that's my strong girl." I say.

"You know, Captain, you look absolutely smitten with that kid." Ikkaku teases, walkin' in through the door. Takeshi crawls right to him and pulls himself up usin' his hakama. "Hey, runt."

Harmona growls at Ikkaku but simply uses her teeth to pick Takeshi up and remove him from Ikkaku. She's been pretty irritated with Baldy lately and won't tell me why. He frowns and gets ready to snap at her but one low, threatenin' growl from her shuts him down.

"Dadadadadadada!" Michiko squeals at me, wigglin'. I set her down and she takes off after her brother.

Harmona shifts and stands beside me, keepin' an eye on the kids. She's lookin' back to her pre-pregnancy self, for the most part. Skinny as hell but her tits grew a little from feedin' the heathens. The weight had come off within' a month, her bein' to stubborn to wait for medical clearance to start workin' out again. I'd been lucky she'd waited a week even. It's been eight months since they were born and she's changed a lot. Overprotective, dark...just different. Like I see a determination she didn't have before. It's unnerving sometimes.

"Sir, sorry to bother you...and Wolf. We've got a message from Head Captain Kyorakou that he needs her for a meeting." Ikkaku says, starin' straight at her.

I brace myself. She surprises me however. "I'll go. If they get hungry before I get back, Captain, they seem to like rice with a little sugar added in. And tiny pieces of fruit."

"I know." I say. "Don't worry. They'll be fine. I ain't gunna kill em."

She glares at me, liftin' her lip in a snarl. "If I find even one hair on their heads harmed, you will be the one to die." she snaps before marchin' out the door.

"Cap'n, is everything ok? Things have been tense for a month now." Ikkaku asks.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with her. She won't talk to me anymore...hell, maybe it's just stress. She's been holdin' somethin' in for awhile now. It's eatin' her up inside, whatever it is." I sigh. Takeshi grabs my hakama and pulls himself up before reachin' for me. I lift him and he yawns before snugglin' into my chest....right before screamin' at me. "Yeah yeah, war cry later."

Michiko grabs my leg. "Dadadadada!"

"What?"

She lifts her arms and I grab her too. They proceed to get in a screamin' match with eachother before settlin' down in my arms and yawnin'.

"Go take care of them. Yumichika is free if you want him to sit with them. You look like you need a spar."

"Yeah, that'd be good."

What would also be good is if my damn wife would fuck me. She's so busy with the kids lately she just goes to sleep as soon as they're out. I try to help as much as I can but she doesn't handle it well. It's like she's tryin' to prove she's capable of bein' a parent. She's more than capable, but she's just so overprotective of them it makes me angry at her frequently. Somethin's gotta give.

****Harmona POV****

"Hey, kiddo. How're things at home?" Shunsui asks as I walk into his office.

"I don't have time for idle chatter." I say flatly.

He blinks at me. "Yeah, I'm sure. However, that's exactly what you need. Harmona, sweetheart, you're a great mom but you're pushing everyone away lately."

"And? I don't mind. My kids are my focus right now and that's that."

"Which is how it should be but you also need to relax. Honey, you're so serious. What are you afraid of?"

"Failing them. That should be obvious."

"You won't. But you are failing your husband. I've never seen him look so miserable."

That stings but I know. "I'm pushing him away for a reason. I'm not ok, dad. At all."

This stirs his attention. "What's wrong?"

"The demon. I can't even get a full night's rest. I can't let him see me like this, so I push him away. When I wake in the night, unless the twins are awake, I go outside to the Rukongai and fight with the demon. I have no choice."

"What about the suggestion we made earlier? Harmona, trust in your abilities and Zaraki's. You won't be a death sentence for anyone."

I take a breath and sigh. "Fine. But I don't trust Mayuri. I want Kisuke to do it."

He nods. "I'll make arrangements with him. Now...I want you to let me or Renji babysit the twins for a couple hours today."

I frown. "Why?"

"So you can start healing the rift between you and your husband."

"But-"

"No buts. You know they are safe with us. We'd sooner die than let anything happen to them."

I think about it for a minute before nodding. "Alright. Fine. You come back with me and get them. Much as I love Renji, he's an idiot."

*************

Zaraki and Ikkaku are in the dojo. Where are the kids? Yumichika has Takeshi...I sniff and run. Michiko is in the dojo. I hear Shunsui following me. I get into the dojo just in time to see Michiko making a bee line for her father, who's sparring with Ikkaku. He sees her though and stops. Ikkaku, however, doesn't. I get between them just in time, his sword piercing my shoulder. Michiko stares at the blood dripping from the blade and screams. I grab the blade and shove it away, keeping Michiko in my other arm as I rise to my feet. "Baldy, I'm gunna kick your ass." I hiss, barely controlling my temper.

"Harmona, give her to me." Zaraki orders.

I glare at him before turning and handing her to Shunsui. "Take them and go, dad. Things are about to get ugly."

"Sure. Don't kill them." Shunsui sighs before turning and leaving. I hear him singing softly to comfort Michiko's frightened screams. I turn back around and draw Okami.

"Wolf, I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry." Ikkaku says.

"Your not paying attention could've cost my child her life, you ignorant prick." I snarl. "And you, Kenpachi, you saw her. Why didn't you say something to the fucking idiot!?"

"I froze." he replies softly.

"Not good enough!" I scream before attacking both of them.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's got us both on defense. She's furious and I don't blame her. I don't know why the hell I froze earlier. I've never froze durin' battle before. I catch her blade with my side but it's gone in an instant. I hear Ikkaku scream in pain before he falls. She's back on me instantly, our swords clashin' in a shower of sparks....

I'm backed into a corner. Fuck. She'd told me before that losin' her temper durin' battle is a bad thing but I didn't realize how bad. I've cut her to ribbons and she's still on the offense. So this is what a berserker is. I need to distract her somehow before she kills me. I'm losin' too much blood. She nicked my liver. Fuck it hurts. She comes closer and I do the only thing I can think of. I throw Nozarashi to the ground. Her attention is on the blade so I tackle her. Okami clatters to the ground. "Alright, Wolf! Enough!" I growl. She's not healin' herself, her focus being solely on me. She curls her lip up and snarls...shit. Her teeth are changin'. Wait. That means.

"Shit!" I grunt as her claws come down, tearin' into my back. My blood splatters her face when she removes them. I react quickly and pin her wrists with my hands. She opens her mouth to let out a scream of rage but a drop of my blood falls on her tongue and almost instantly the change on her face makes me relax. That enraged fire in her eyes is gone finally and she relaxes. "Done?" I ask.

She doesn't answer, just stares at me keenly for a moment before her head darts up, her mouth capturin' mine. I hadn't noticed the men comin' in the dojo but the cheerin' and whistlin' is distractin' for a minute. Her kiss gets more demandin', urgently tryin' to convey some message to me. I finally respond to her, my tongue invadin' her mouth, makin' her moan softly. She releases her reiatsu finally. I feel it floodin' my system as my wounds start healin'. I groan as my side heals, the pain in my liver fadin' slowly. I pull away from her and get to my feet. "You done?"

"Yes. I think you got the message." she sighs before closin' her eyes. The rest of the tension drains from her body. "That was a good fight."

That fuckin' brat. "You just needed a fight?"

"No, I needed to beat your ass until you understand that our children's safety is my top priority."

"You suck at lyin'."

She sighs. "Fine, I killed two birds with one stone. I needed a fight too."

"You know you only gotta ask, brat." I chuckle. "What'd Shunsui want?"

"To tell me I'm being a bitch lately."

"Well, I must agree. You're over protective, nit picky, being a perfectionist and generally no fun to be around anymore." Yumichika chirps.

She gets to her feet. "Sorry." she says as she walks out of the dojo.

"Go after her, sir. She has something to tell you, I think, judging by what little bit Captain Kyorakou told me earlier. He also told me to inform you that the twins will be in his care until you two work things out."

"Perfect."

***Harmona POV***

I'm in the house, wishing for a drink, but since I'm still feeding the twins, I can't. This sucks. I sit at the table and drink some mango juice instead. Zaraki comes in finally and sits beside me. "Can we talk now or are you gunna push me away some more?"

"I'm not ok. It's getting worse. I can't sleep. Eating bothers me...I want to...Kenpachi, I want to take Kisuke's suggestion, if I haven't pushed you too far. I'm sorry I've pushed everyone away. I thought I could handle it alone but each day I'm breaking more and more. The kids are the only thing keeping me from snapping completely. I'm weak now." I blurt out before he can say anything.

"That what you need to tell me?"

"That and I'm sorry. You deserve better."

He sighs. "And here I was preparin' myself for you to say you're leavin' me. I like this conversation a lot better."

I stare at him before clambering into his lap. "I could never leave you, Pachi. I'm sorry."

His arms fold around me, his hand pushing my ear to his chest. "This heart will never want anyone else, Harmona. No matter what. If you'd said you wanted to leave, I'd have made you fight me for your freedom. You're mine. End of story. No matter how much you push me away, you will never be free of me. You gotta learn to trust me completely."

I realize that he's right. I don't trust him completely. "Teach me, Kenpachi. Teach me how to not be afraid."

I don't expect him to move so fast, pinning my back on the table with his hand on my throat. I can't breathe! The fear is flooding my mind. If I had a full bladder, I'm pretty sure I'd be pissing myself. He eyes me. "Do you have somethin' you live for, Wolf? Or are you gunna let me suffocate you?"

****Kenpachi POV****

She's lettin' her fear overwhelm her. I can smell it, the sour disgusting scent of pure terror. It's like lemons that've been left to rot in the summer heat on top of a pile of fish. She's not fightin' me. In fact, her eyes seem dull. She's not here. "Come on, Wolf. Don't shut down or you'll die."

****Harmona POV - Flashback****

I can't breathe. I struggle against daddy's hold but I'm so weak. So useless. I try to take a breath and end up with nothing but water in my mouth, flooding my throat. I struggle a few minutes longer before stopping. I don't care anymore. Let him kill me. My life is worthless. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares for me. Let me die in this disgusting pond water. Least maybe the fish will be fed for awhile...

***Kenpachi POV***

Shit! She's givin' up. I release my hand but she doesn't breathe. Goddamn it! I thought for sure her survival instinct would have made her fight...wait...that's why. Even now she wants to die. I won't allow it. I pinch her nose shut and put my mouth over hers, forcin' air in her lungs. She ain't dyin' til I fuckin' say she can! "Harmona! Breathe, damn you!"

****Harmona POV - Flashback****

"Breathe, damn you! Don't you die on me!" Shunsui yells.

"Leave her lay, Kyorakou. She's too fucking weak to fight so she's useless."

A hard thump on my back makes me sob, water pouring from my mouth. "That'a girl! Breathe!"

"I'll just kill her again."

"Shut the fuck up! She's not under your care anymore! Leave her the hell alone!"

"Make me!"

"Enough! Mori, you are not to harm this child again. You will spend a one month period on the Nest for your intolerable behavior." Yamamoto's angry roar sounds.

I crack my eye open and see Shunsui's face close to mine. He's holding me against his chest. "Swee?" my voice is barely more than a whisper.

"Shh. Don't talk, baby."

"Let me die...please. I don't want to live anymore."

"No! Don't you say that!"

"Please."

He holds me tighter. "I can't. I can't let you die, kiddo."

******

I open my eyes and hear Zaraki's relieved breath. My vision clears and he's above me, his hand stroking my forehead, smoothing my hair back. "Warn me next time you intend to kill me, please." I tease softly.

"I thought you'd fight me."

"I...had a flashback and froze."

He pulls me into his arms. "Tell me, Wolf. I can't teach you not to be afraid when you hide everythin' from me. I don't know what'll trigger you to panic and freeze like that."

"Mori held me under the water in the squad one pond once. Exactly the way you held me. I was ten...I nearly drowned. Shunsui saved me, of course....I wanted to die but he wouldn't let me, just like Okami won't."

"You still wanna die, don't you?" he asks.

I hesitate. "Yes...I'm worn down, Kenpachi. This demon is sunk into my mind so bad that I don't have faith in anything anymore. I'm so tired. I just want to be left in peace. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die all the time but right now, in this particular moment, I wish I was."

****Kenpachi POV****

To hear her admit it is a kick in the teeth. She's suffered so long. I have to do somethin' but what? Hearin' the pain in her voice makes my heart bleed. I can't lose her though. I can't raise the twins on my own and I sure as hell don't want any other woman in my bed. "I'll make you a deal...let's get this demon out of you and you go kill Mori...if you still wanna die after that...I'll help you."

"I...can't die, Kenpachi. Okami won't allow it plus you ordered me not to. Your orders are absolute when you say them right."

"What the fuck do you mean, you can't die?"

She lifts her head, lookin' me straight in the eye. "Uhm...my zombies are the impersonations of the amount of brushes with death I've had. A lot of them are my attempts at suicide when I was younger. I literally can't die."

"There's hundreds of the damn things!"

"I know. They've been collecting since Okami first came to me."

My eye widens. I've got some hope then. She can't die so she's stuck with me. Good. I'll continue workin' with her then. I will fix her. "And the thing about the orders?"

She blushes. "When you say it with force and meaning, I can't disobey you, no matter what I want to do. Alpha means boss to a wolf. You could order me to slit my throat and, if you say it right, I will do it, no questions asked. My life is literally in your hands."

"So if I were to order you to go kill Mori right now?"

"I'd not stop until he's dead no matter what. But there's a catch. If you order something I'm not able to do, like, for example, if you order me to go swim, it'll drive me crazy."

"Why?"

She blushes. "I...never learned to swim. I can do it in my wolf form but not as a person. I'm terrified of deep water."

"That's why you wouldn't swim with me on the honey moon?"

She nods. "Yeah."

"The hell didn't you say so? I could teach you."

"No, thank you. If I was meant to swim, I'd be a fish."

I can't hold in the laugh. Hard headed brat....wait a minute. "Hey, so I can order you to do whatever I want, huh?"

"Yes but if you don't say it right, I can choose not to listen."

"You know, that kiss earlier in the dojo was the first one in three months. You haven't fucked me in longer than that."

"And?"

"Fuck me, Wolf."

"No....I want to try something. Please."

"Tell me."

"I still hate being touched gentle...help me fix it."

"I can do that." Oh I have the perfect way to do that. She'll be putty in my hands.


	24. Chapter 24

"You're planning something, aren't you?"

I grin and kiss her, pulling her body tight against mine before liftin' her and headin' for the bedroom. She hates bein' touched gentle, even by me still. So, I'm gunna torment her for awhile. She's gunna learn to associate my touch with pleasure. "You still takin' the stupid pill Isane gave you?" I ask before layin' her down.

"Uhm...I can't remember if I took it today or not." she admits softly.

Good. I had thoroughly enjoyed her belly bein' swollen because that was the only time she'd let me touch her gently. She'd looked like a damn watermelon and waddled like a duck, but she still made it look damn sexy. However, right now, I just want laid. She hasn't fucked me since the twins were about two months old, bein' too tired at the end of each day to try. I kiss her roughly, my teeth nippin' her lip as my tongue takes possession of her mouth. I find her slit through the thin material of her hakama and tease her, my finger rubbin' a slow circle around her clit. She tries to pull away from me but I refuse to allow it, my free hand grabbin' the back of her head and holdin' her in place. She's pantin' for breath soon so I let her free. She groans, makin' me smirk. "What's wrong, Wolf? You want more?"

"Please!"

"You sure?"

"Well, I won't beg, if that's what you want."

"Hmm, a challenge,huh? I'll make you beg."

"Dare you."

****Harmona POV****

He makes quick work of stripping me out of my uniform, leaving me naked except for my bra. He's smart to leave that on, as I'm leaking a lot today. However, I don't expect him to grab my hands and force them up to the headboard of our bed. He ties them up using my obi, tying it so tight I can't move. "What are you doing?"

"Leavin' you no option but to trust me." he replies simply.

"But-"

He cuts me off with a kiss again. "No buts."

I watch him as he backs away and removes his uniform. I watch the way his muscles roll beneath his skin as he moves. He's like a well oiled machine. When he turns back to me, he has my favorite grin on his face. The one that scares the shit out of me because I know he's calculating his moves but it's so fucking hot. He spreads my legs apart before taking his obi and tying them in a similar fashion as he did my hands. Shit! I'm helpless. It's not fun anymore. "Kenpachi, don't. I'm scared." I whimper.

"And? You told me to help you break it. So shut the fuck up and enjoy this." he orders.

He starts at my feet, nipping my toes one at a time. I flinch, not from pain, but it's an odd feeling. His lips travel to my calves, placing gentle, butterfly kisses. Oh fuck. He's being gentle. I don't do gentle. Gentle is bad! But...it feels so good. As he gets to my knees, I'm startled to realize it tickles. I struggle as he continues placing kisses behind my knees. He's laughing because I'm laughing and trying like hell to get loose. When he finally lifts his head, he has a strange grin on his face. "I'm going to use that against you, you know." he teases.

"Kenpachi, no more. Please."

"You're gunna do this my way, Wolf. Have I hurt you yet?"

"No."

"Then enjoy it."

He starts kissing my thighs. My heart is racing, beating a hard cadence against my chest. It's a heady mixture of fear and anticipation. He gives a low growl before burying his face between my legs. That devil's tongue teases my clit for a few moments before plundering my pussy. I can't breathe! I struggle against the bindings but to no avail. He knew what he was doing when he tied them. His hands travel down my torso, like a feathers touch, making me shiver.

****Kenpachi POV****

I shake my head a little, draggin' a moan outta her. She's tryin' to struggle but I know damn good and well how to tie a woman up. I've done this before with one partner, the only woman to ever want to try to tie me up. She'd been the one tied up, beggin' for mercy. Mercy I refused to show. I continue caressin' Harmona, enjoyin' the shivers that run through her body. She's whimperin', but refusin' to beg. Oh well. More time for me to work on her. The way I've got her legs tied, she's tryin' to close her knees but can't. I continue teasin' her clit with my tongue before divin' back inside her. She's so damn wet my cheeks are gettin' wet too.

"Kenpachi!"

"You gunna beg?"

"No!"

I smirk. She's tremblin', fightin' hard. She wants to cum for me, but is playin' hard to get. I decide to play her game and move up her body further, kissin every inch of skin I can. She bucks her hips underneath me, tryin' to dislodge me but I refuse. You know, I wonder why the twins seem to want to suck on her so much. I decide to try for myself and unhook the clasp on her bra. She stiffens. "No!"

"Yes."

She blushes, her face turnin' as red as her eyes in her wolf form. I pull her bra down and kiss along the underside of her tits. They're so damn warm. I latch onto her left one finally and suck gently. Almost immediately I get a mouthful of milk. No wonder the kids like it. It's sweet, but not ridiculously so. It's kinda fatty too. No wonder they're growin' so good. I take another pull on her and she bucks her hips again. "Kenpachi!"

"What?"

"Please! I want you."

"Only want, huh? I think we can do better than that."

I continue tormentin' her tits, lavishin' each one with my tongue and suckin' gently. I run my hand between her legs and slide my fingers inside, enjoyin' the moan she makes. I'm so damn hard it hurts. It's been too damn long since I've had her to myself. She whimpers, still strugglin'. She likes havin' a little control but I won't let her have it this time. No, she's at my mercy. It's not long before she's pantin' and moanin' softly. A few more minutes and I feel her tighten herself on my fingers. "Kenpachi, please! I need you! Please!"

"Was that so hard?" I tease as I remove my hand. I slide my cock inside her and it's like the first time all over again. She clenches on me, gaspin' for air each time I push forward. She feels so damn good I can't hold back long. So much for gentle. I can't do it right now. "Did you miss this, Wolf? Huh? Damn, you feel so fuckin' good!" I growl, sinkin' in til I can't go anymore.

"Oh god! Kenpachi! Fuck me!" she screams, strugglin' hard against the ties. Her squirmin' feels even better. I go at her as hard as I can now, enjoyin' her pleasured screams. I'm soakin' wet suddenly, her inner muscles milkin' me as her pussy floods itself. I kiss her, takin' every whimper and moan into me like a breath of fresh air. When I pull away she whines. "Please, give it to me, Kenpachi."

"You want my cum, huh? What if you get knocked up again?"

"I don't care. You feel so good...I'm not in heat anyway."

She doesn't have to ask me twice. I work her up again, poundin' into her like a hammer on a nail until we both cum. But I refuse to stop. Not a fuckin' chance....

****Harmona POV****

A knock on the door wakes me. Yumichika sticks his head in but turns so he's not facing us. "The twins are home and crying pretty hard. Shunsui said they ate but...well, I'm sure they're ready for mom." he says.

"I'll get em, Wolf. You stay." Zaraki orders, yawning. He turns, putting his feet on the floor. His back is torn open. When he'd untied me, I couldn't reign in my passion. I'd needed him so bad. I'm startled to see Yumichika bring him his boxers.

"I figure you need those, sir. You're intimidating enough without scaring the men with that monster." he teases.

Zaraki stands and pulls them on. "Tch. Like I give a rats ass. Least they'll know they can never be better than me."

Yumichika eyes me before turning. "Your hair is a mess, Wolf. I'll fix it later."

Zaraki follows Yumichika out. I can hear Shunsui out on the porch and quite a few dirty jokes being passed. The twins decide to take matters into their own hands and crawl in the door. Huge smiles light their faces upon seeing me. They are so beautiful. I gather them into my arms and immediately they begin trying to root on my chest. Guess it's feeding time. I settle back on the bed and get them situated under my arms to feed. This has become harder as they've gotten older but it works. I lay my head back against the wall behind me.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Close the door." Shunsui orders quietly. I close it.

"Kenpachi, did she tell you what she told me?"

"About wantin' Kisuke Urakara to do the soul chain thing?"

"Yeah. Good. I'm worried about her. She's really not ok. This demon and Mori really have her worn down. I need you to stay close to her, ok? I was followed here. I couldn't quite catch them but I think they were going to come after the kids."

I ball my fists. "Let em try. We'll take them with us to Kisuke's."

He nods. "When do you want to go?"

"As soon as possible, I think. She needs rid of this bastard."

"Alright. I'll make arrangements....did you two get straightened out?"

"Yeah but I did somethin' really fuckin' stupid. She told me to help her get rid of her fear. I did the only thing I could think of and choked her. I thought for sure she'd fight me. Survival instinct. She didn't. She gave up. She stopped breathin'. Shunsui...she told me that Okami won't let her die. She's tried to kill herself before and he just won't let her. She wants to die."

He looks furious for a minute then sighs. "She tried many times after Mori drowned her when she was ten. Slit her wrists, drank poison, you name it. She tried it. We always wondered how she survived each time, even though her heart stopped a few times. Now I guess I know."

"She said her demon has worn her down a lot lately. She just wants to die because she's tired."

"Keep an eye on her. Build her up as best you can. She's had a lot of trauma in her life. That's why I didn't want her marrying you, honestly. You just aren't the most caring person in the world...well, you weren't anyway. She's changed you a little. For the better, I think."

I nod. "I won't let her go without a fuckin' fight. She's mine, Shunsui. I can't let her die. Not like her mom."

"You loved Retsu, didn't you?"

"In a way. Not like I love Harmona though. It was more a love like you and Jushiro had for eachother."

"I believe kids nowadays call it a bromance."

"Well, whatever. We're fixin' things. I think once we get this demon out, she'll finally shed a lot of that negative thought process."

"Good. Don't do what you did again. If you hurt my kid, I'll fight you to the death, Kenpachi." he says, his voice gettin' dark and serious.

"I won't. I want her to live, not die. For now, she needs some rest."

"I'm sure. Catch you later, Kenpachi."

"See ya."

I turn and go back in the house. I gotta stop in the door and smile a little. The twins are layin' with her, cuddled up under her arms, sound asleep. She is too. She's smilin' a little too. I decide to climb in bed with them, but I shift Michiko to the other side of Harmona, rollin' my woman to her side so I can hold her. She shifts her arms to hold the kids instinctively. I kiss the side of her head before goin' to sleep.

****Harmona POV- Inner World****

"I can smell him. The creature you want to kill but are too afraid to. I smell him even now." my demon hisses.

"Help me!" I order.

He stares at me. "For two hundred years you have fought with me, but not as a comrade. Now you expect me to help you?"

"I have to kill him. Help me with this."

He snaps his teeth together inches from my face. "Why should I? Tormenting you is much more fun."

"You and my husband both hate cowardice. I've been a coward too long, allowing you to fuck me up with those flashbacks. I'm ready to fight. To kill."

He stares at me intently. "And will you let them set me free if I help you?"

"Do you want to be free?"

"Yes."

"Then as soon as you help me kill him, I'll make sure you're set free."

His laughter brings chills to my spine. "Then we shall kill."

I hold my hand out to him. "Truce until we slaughter him?"

He grabs my hand with his claws, piercing my flesh as he sinks them in. It burns. "Truce."

***Awake***

"Wolf! Open your fuckin' eyes, damn it!" Zaraki yells in my ear. I open one and he glares at me. "The fuck did you just do?"

"Huh?"

He holds my arm up. There's a horrible rash there...wait, it's not a rash. It's a tattoo, burned into my skin. The kanji for "deal accepted". Zaraki looks pissed. Beyond pissed. "I...offered my demon a deal."

"What kind of fuckin' deal!?"

"He helps me kill Mori then we go see Kisuke and set him free. I don't have the courage to face Mori alone. I'm still the child I was, terrified of that man and his sword."

"So you're bein' a coward and lettin' the fuckin' thing do your job for you?"

Ouch. That hurts. "No. I'm letting him stay with me to help me hunt him down and then keep me focused enough to kill him."

"I don't see much difference."

"Then divorce me since I can't do anything right apparently!"

"It's fuckin' temptin'!"

I stare at him and, seeing nothing but anger in his eyes, I wilt. I won't cry. I won't. I bury my emotions deep inside for the first time in my life before getting out of bed and pulling my shihakushou on and going outside. Ikkaku and Yumichika are playing with the twins, rolling a ball back and forth between them. "Hey, Wolf!" Ikkaku greets me. I don't bother to respond, simply walk out of the barracks. I'm doing something crazy but, if I don't do it, I can't get past the fear. Zaraki will hate me, sure, but then again, it sounds like he already does. It's my fault. Everything is...

"Well now, this is an unexpected visit. What is it you want?"

"I need you to remove my memories from two hundred years ago. Everything."

"That will mess with your memories of current day, you know."

"Then is there a way to get rid of emotions? Like fear for instance?"

"Why certainly. I'm surprised you haven't thought to ask me that before now. That's child's play. However, if you want me to do this for you, you must let me experiment on you as well."

"What kind of experiments?"

"Oh, nothing sexually related. I shall harvest blood, bone, reiatsu, skin, hair. Expose you to poisons and drugs. However, I shall need a week. My sources tell me you are still feeding your twins."

"I plan to stop on their birthday next month."

"Hmm...very well then. We shall do it then."

For the second time today, I make a deal with a demon. Zaraki will possibly kill me but it's worth it. Beyond worth it.

****Kenpachi POV****

I frown as Harmona walks into the mess hall and sits on the other side of Takeshi, takin' over his feedin' from Yumichika. "Where've you been?"

"I was angry so I went for a walk." she shrugs.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Where?"

"To squad twelve if you must know. I had some questions about this stupid tattoo and had Mayuri look at it."

"You actually trusted him?"

"Not really, no, but who else do we know that can get it figured out?"

"Isane."

"Uhm...no. I trust her only a tiny bit."

"Well, what'd the freak say?"

"It's a burn mark. The flesh is literally burned. It may or may not go away. His suggestion is to wait and see."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not much. More irritating than anything."

I frown. I got a gut feelin' she's lyin' about somethin'. "You sure you're tellin' me everythin'?"

"Yes. Go ask him if you don't believe me. I know you want rid of me so maybe pay him a bit to kill me."

"You wanna fight? Is that it? You're bein' a fuckin' pain."

"When am I not? You hate me so whatever. I've got better things to do than continue worrying about things I can't fix. You want me gone so bad, file the papers."

"I don't hate you."

"I smell a lie."

"Enough! What in the hell has gotten into you two today!?" Ikkaku yells.

I take a deep breath. "Nothing. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Somethin' is wrong. Very wrong. She's hidin' somethin'.

***********

"I'm taking the twins to the meeting. Nanao is having a movie night and invited any kids in the Seireitei to attend. Ichika is going, as is Nemu." Ikkaku says.

"Fine. Just don't keep em out too late, alright? Last thing I need is for Wolf to freak out." I grumble before takin' a long drink of sake.

"I won't. It'll be after dark obviously...is everything alright between you and Wolf?"

"I don't know and don't care. She makes her own damn decisions. Let her deal with the consequences. Not my damn problem."

"Easy! Ok. I'll leave you to it. I'll tell the men to stay out of the office today."

"Good idea."

I continue my drinkin', my thoughts clouded with a sick feelin' that she's done somethin' terrible. I don't trust Mayuri. Not one damn bit...

I wake up bein' kicked in the hip. "Come on. You smell terrible."

"Go away."

"Ok. I'll go on back to the Rukongai. See you later."

I grab her leg and yank it out from under her before pinnin' her under me. "You're not goin' anywhere!" I roar.

"It's called sarcasm. You're drunk. Go home."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

She manages to roll us and sits on me. "Kenpachi, love, light of my life...let's go home. I know Ikkaku took the kids for the movie thing tonight. Yumichika told me. Please. Come home with me."

"Why? So you can make a fool outta me?"

"What're you talking about?"

"You're so fuckin' beautiful. A woman like you doesn't go for a man like me. You're just with me because you don't have anywhere else to go. Everyone else is afraid of you."

"Kenpachi, I'm with you because I love you even though you hate me."

"I don't hate you, you idiot. I love you. I love you so fuckin' much it hurts! That shit about divorcin' you earlier hurt me. Why did you have to hurt me?"

"I thought you were mad at me so I was trying to.

"Why?"

"Because. Come on. Let's go home."

"Don't wanna."

"Kenpachi, come on."

"Fuck it. I'm stayin' here."

****Harmona POV****

He is plastered. I could smell him before I even set foot on the office porch. What a moron. I sigh and try to get to my feet but he grabs my hair and yanks my head down to kiss me. His breath is so laden with alcohol I feel dizzy. His hands start groping me, forcing their way into my kosode. "You're my woman. You can't leave me. Not unless you kill me."

"I'm not going anywhere except home. Come on."

I try to get up again but he grabs my hair again. "You're not leavin' me!" he roars.

"Kenpachi! Shut up and listen, you drunk moron! I'm going home. Come with me."

He blinks a couple times then gets very drunk, lopsided grin. "That's my wife. You're so sexy. Come here. Let's make a couple more babies. I like your when your belly is round. You let me touch you when it's round. And seein' you waddle like a duck is funny. You're like an angry little duck. Quack quack."

"Quack quack, huh?" I growl right before socking him in the temple. The light fades from his eyes as he loses consciousness. That's never worked before so he must be really drunk. "How's that for a duck?"

I head home alone. I'll let him sleep the alcohol off.

"Well now, you're never alone, bitch. Where's that man of yours?"

I turn on my heel and stand face to face with Mori. His brown eyes are filled with pure loathing. Just like old times. "In the office." I answer, cursing at the slight tremble in my voice.

"Oh yeah? Well, that's too bad for him. I can't find your damn brats so guess I'm just gunna take you."

"Wha-"

Something stings me in the neck from the side and my world goes dark. Maybe punching my husband and knocking him out was a bad idea.


	25. Chapter 25

"Captain? Are you here? What the...Captain!"

I groan and open my eyes. "What the hell are you yellin' for, Baldy!?"

"Sir, Wolf's missing. I took the kids home and she's not there. I can't feel her reiatsu either."

I sit up quickly, the last bit of drunkenness leavin' me in a heartbeat. "Find her. I don't fuckin' care if you gotta tear the entire Seireitei down! Find her!"

He darts out and starts issuin' orders. No! Goddamn it no! She left me? She really fuckin' left me? A million thoughts race through my head but they all return to earlier. I'd told her I was tempted to divorce her. Why the fuck did I say that? Sure, I was angry but why would I lie like that? I've never once thought of leavin' her. What the fuck have I....wait a minute. She would never leave the kids! No way. Not as overprotective as she is.

"Captain, this was stuck to the inside of the door in your quarters." Yumichika says, handin' me a note. I scan it quickly and ball it up. "Sir?"

"Whoever has her is tryin' to convince me she left willingly. They even forged that note. Wolf would never write a damn note. She'd yell at me and leave. She hates paperwork."

"So...are you saying she was somehow kidnapped right out of our barracks?"

"Exactly."

****Harmona POV****

A hit to my jaw has me awake, spitting blood from my split lip. Mori wipes it from his face before hitting me again. "Spit on me, will you?"

"What the fuck do you want, Mori?" I snarl.

"What? No greeting for your father?"

"You're not my father. DNA tests proved it."

"Amazing how technology advances in two hundred years. You're right. I'm not your father. Good thing too or this might prove difficult. You see, I'm a loyal man to my family. A family you tore apart, you fucking bitch."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

Another hit, this time to my cheek, shattering the bone. "Let me refresh your memory. You were a year old or close to. You and your mother were walking out in the Rukongai. My wife and I met you both there. It was a pleasant conversation. Then my wife took you to a nearby stream. You came back, she didn't." At this point his voice cracks. "Your mom couldn't save her! You killed my wife. You were covered in her blood and still smiling! My wife, who would've given her life to save yours!" He hits my chest, breaking my collar bone.

"And how many times have you killed me? How many times has my heart stopped beating due to your abuse!? I don't remember killing your wife!" I scream.

He grabs my hair and yanks my head up, forcing my good eye to stare at him. "I don't care if you remember it! You killed her! I hate you! I'm gunna kill you too, you fucking bitch!"

He draws his sword. "Slither, Shiroi Yurihebi!"

"No!" I scream.

"Let's see if you can dodge death this time." he cackles before bringing the blade across my face. I scream as the toxic green poison that flows from the blade slowly begins eating my flesh. This is hell. I pray to Okami for death as I'm struck and stabbed more than fifty times. The last thing I see is his sword slicing my eyes, blinding me. My scream is ear shattering. I taste the blood from my throat.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Fuck! Mori's got her!" I yell as Shunsui runs into the barracks. Soi Fon is with him along with her stealth force.

"How do you-"

"I can feel it. She tied a soul chain to me. I've been able to feel her pain since a month after she did it. If I'm not there with her when she's injured, I feel every wound. Fuck!" I nearly vomit. It feels like my body is on fire. I grab Shunsui's shoulder. "Find her!" I beg, for the second time in my life.

"Captain Fon, there's reports of screaming in district seventy seven...Near the Mori family estate." one of her damn ninja's reports suddenly.

I glare at the man. "Lead me there. Now!"

"Zaraki, you need to stay here." Shunsui says quietly.

"No! I'm not stayin'! She's my goddamn wife! I need to be there!"

"No, you don't. If she seized up...you don't want to see this, Kenpachi. Please."

I grab him by the front of his haori. "I'm goin'. That's final!" I roar at him.

"Then let's go. Nanao, have squad four ready and prepped for surgery in case we need it....also get word to Ichigo and Orihime. We'll need her, I'm sure of it."

"Yes, Head Captain." she says. Before she turns, she pats my shoulder. "I hope you find her in time. She's a good woman."

I hope so too. This pain I feel is horrible. I'm sure a weaker person would've given in already and died. But she won't....well, can't rather.

****Harmona POV****

I can't scream anymore. He's cut me deeply, my bones showing in several places. I've vomited several times, this last time nothing more than blood. I can barely see. Okami has managed to heal a little bit of my vision but must focus on the worst of the damage. My intestines aren't inside my body. He's nearly severed my leg...I can't even feel my legs. He's damaged my spine...I can't panic. I've faced my fears too late. I can only hope someone will find me soon. Then I'll heal and take him down...I fade out as he cuts me again, my blood splattering the ground beneath the beam I'm hung from.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Wait, Kenpachi. Wait a minute. If you go in there you might startle him into hurting her worse!" Shunsui hisses at me.

"Captain Kyorakou, my men are ready to move in." Soi Fon says.

"Do it."

***Harmona POV***

"They found you quick, bitch. Too bad. I was having so much fun. My aren't you pretty? Zaraki will really enjoy looking at you now, won't he? And those babies will scream in fear of you. Just wait. I'll come back and finish the job later." Mori whispers in my ear before disappearing through a door.

"Oh my...get word out there. Keep Captain Zaraki out of here!" someone shouts as they run in from behind me. Their form is blurry but it looks like the uniform of the stealth force. The man walks closer to me. "Ma'am, are you still alive?"

"Barely." I whisper, my voice having left a long time ago.

"I...I'll stay with you. Til the medics come." he says.

"Down."

"I can't move you, ma'am. You're really messed up."

"Hurts."

"I know. I can't imagine how bad it hurts. Please, just be patient."

"Pachi."

"I can't bring him in here to see you like this. He'll go apeshit!"

"Please." I feel tears flow down my face, making the cuts to my face sting worse.

"I-"

"Let Zaraki in here. She's obviously going to die soon. She needs to be comforted. Poor woman." someone else says.

"Fine."

***Kenpachi POV***

Seein' Soi Fon's men pour out pukin' their guts up makes me have bad feelin's. How fucked up is she? Shunsui covers his face, his shoulders tremblin'. He knows. He knows just how bad this'll be. He's seen the horror before.

"It's clear. Mori escaped...She's really bad off." one of the men under Soi Fon states softly.

"How bad?" she asks.

"Uhm...he's blinded her by cutting her eyes. Her guts aren't in her body. There's no inch of skin left unmarred, almost like acid was poured on her. Some parts there's only bones showing. One leg nearly severed. Broken spine, nose and eye socket. Multiple stab wounds."

"Is she alive?"

The man nods slowly. "Yes. And awake. She spoke a couple words to us but her voice seems pretty much gone. She wants Captain Zaraki."

"Zaraki, stay out here. You don't want this image to fuck up your head." Shunsui orders.

"Fuck you." I snarl before stormin' forward. The smell of blood and puke is heavy in the air. I move forward until I'm in front of her. I can't tell if she can see me or not, but the eye that isn't swollen shut stares in my direction.

"Late." she says, smilin' a little. She's dyin' and wants to be a smart ass.

I move forward and tilt her chin up a little. "I'm sorry."

"Down?"

I untie the ropes from her arms, catchin' her as she falls, not givin' a fuck about the blood pourin out on me. I sit with her in my arms, gently rockin' back and forth. "Don't die on me." I order.

"Stubborn." she smiles.

"Yeah, you're stubborn alright. Is Okami healing you?"

"Help."

"He needs help?"

She nods a little. 

"Ok. We'll get it figured out."

"Hungry."

"Wolf, your guts are hangin' out on display. No offence but I never wanted to see your insides. That's too personal."

"Wimp."

I kiss her forehead gently. She winces. "Wolf, Shunsui sent a message for Orihime and Ichigo to come. He knew you'd be in bad shape. Just hold on for me."

"Can't die."

"I know you can't. Don't even think about it."

"Love....you." she sighs before her eye closes.

"Wolf? Hey! Don't you fuckin' die!"

When I get no answer, I automatically check for a pulse...There's no pulse! I hold her tighter against my body. "Wolf, don't you dare leave me. You told me you can't die. Don't make yourself a liar."

"Captain Zaraki, Captain Kotetsu is here." someone says beside me.

"Get her in here." I order.

*************

"She's....I don't know what she is but her heart is stopped and has been for awhile now, Kenpachi. However...she's healing." Isane says after forty minutes. Sweat pours from her brow. She's strugglin'.

"She will survive, alpha. This is the worst I've ever seen her and I'm not quite sure I can heal her completely but...I can make her live." Okami says as he appears beside me. "The human girl would be best for fixing her spine. Everything else I can heal."

"Did she try to fight?" I ask quietly.

"He drugged her. Someone is helping him."

I nod. "Figures. Coward like him never deserved to be captain of the eleventh."

The wolf chuckles. "No, he didn't. It was pure dumb luck. He challenged the fourth to fight while they were drunk. The fourth stumbled and landed face first on Mori's sword. It was five years after this that Harmona was put in his care."

"I still don't understand why. I can think of other people that could've trained her to be a ruthless killer without fuckin' her up like she is."

"Yamamoto was forced. She killed Mori's wife."

"How!?" Isane asks.

"The wife took her to a river while Mori and Unohana were speaking. Nobody saw what happened and Harmona doesn't remember but...she had her first change into a wolf. She panicked as only a one year old child can and accidentally killed the woman. I've told you before, the wolf isn't her shikai. I've never taught her her shikai because she doesn't need it with that wolf."

"How did she get to be a werewolf with her parents being normal souls?" I ask.

"Well, science isn't my strong point. However, it's my understanding that during her development in her mother's womb, Unohana allowed Mayuri to inject the blood of a werewolf into the baby. That's why Mayuri was in the Nest until Kisuke Urahara made the Department of Research. It's also why Mayuri has a keen interest in her. She was his first test subject for what Nemuri is now."

I think about it and it makes perfect fuckin' sense. He'd known the minute he saw her who she was! That explains how he knew she wasn't fully feral. And how he'd known she was immune to poison! That sneaky fuckin' son of a bitch!

"You should move her now. The infirmary would be good. She needs quiet."

"Are you sure she's going to survive? I mean this long with no pulse she'd have brain damage and who knows what else." Isane says.

"She will be fine. Do as I say, little woman." Okami snarls.

I smirk and get to my feet, liftin' Harmona with me. "Isane, I need somethin' to cover her with. I think Shunsui will freak out if he sees the extent of the damage."

Isane nods. "I'm a medic and it's freaking me out.However....here, just use my haori. I don't mind." she says, shruggin' it off before layin' it over Harmona's body. "Should I cover her face too?"

"No. We don't wanna freak him out too much."

I think freakin' out is a fuckin' understatement. That man goes to pieces when I carry her out. Of course, inside, I'm goin' to pieces too. The only thing keepin' me sane is Okami. If she was dead, he wouldn't be here. However, that goddamn demon didn't do what he agreed to. Lyin' son of a bitch...

****Harmona POV****

"I've restored her. There should be no lasting effects from this but if there is, I'll keep working. Right now, I really need something to eat though, please." Orihime's gentle voice reaches my ears.

"Wait...Captain, her pulse! It's back!" someone else yells excitedly. A faint beeping fills my ears. Damn it's annoying. Must be in the infirmary.

A feel a hand in mine. A very familiar calloused hand. "Can she hear me, Okami?"

"Considering she's annoyed by that beeping, I'm sure she can." Okami laughs. He came out? Why?

I feel hot breath on my ear. "Since I know you can hear me, Wolf, I'll only say this one time. No divorce. Ever. You're my woman and nothin' you do will change that. I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you last night."

I can't get my body to respond. I'm exhausted. I know I can do it but I just can't get my body to do what I need it to. I do manage to squeeze his hand a little, a gesture that I hope he understands as agreement. I wouldn't allow him to divorce me anyway. I'm addicted to the joy he brings me and, of course, the pleasure too. I love him. Leaving him or him leaving me isn't an option. I'll kill us both first...

****Kenpachi POV****

I feel her hand move a little. I wouldn't call it a squeeze but I think she's tryin'. "Well, her hand moves."

"Oh good! That's a good sign!" Isane says, lettin' out a relieved sigh. "I'll let Captain Kyorakou know she's back. I'm worried about him. Orihime, come with me to the cafeteria and we'll get you something to eat."

The girls leave and Okami yawns before curlin' himself up in a corner. "She will wake. Give her time, alpha. She's fallen asleep just now so speaking to her would be useless."

I kiss her forehead. The wounds have disappeared and she's back to how she was before. Okami, I know, is still healin' the injuries inside. I wonder if she'll be blind. Orihime had healed her eyes and said she shouldn't be but there's always a chance. I don't want her to be blind. That would fuck her up. She relies on her eyes so much lately. Course, with the twins, she has to...

"Let him sleep, Isane. In fact, I don't want her left alone since Mori wasn't captured. Same with the kids."

"She's healing wonderfully. Okami really is pretty handy." 

I crack my eye open. "Can you two birds be any more annoyin'?"

"Oh, sorry. We were trying to be quiet. Would you like something to eat, Kenpachi? I'd be happy to bring you something. Yumichika and Hanataro are keeping the twins occupied in the play room so don't worry about them." Isane says, leanin' down and brushin' my hair outta my face.

"Will you stop it? Damn, you're like a mother hen, woman." I grumble. In all honesty, I just don't like any woman touchin' me anymore. Only Harmona's touch feels right on my skin. I sit up and yawn. I've got a kink in my back from leanin' over the bed for who knows how long. "Yeah, some grub would be great. Thanks."

She nods and hurries off. Shunsui sits in a chair on the other side of the bed. I notice Okami is gone. Wonder where he went. Shunsui takes her hand and rubs it between his gently. He's not payin' me a bit of mind when he starts singin' to her. I can see the worry on his face, the look in his eye speaking of a long known ritual between the two of them. I suppose it must be. Damn that Mori.

****Harmona POV****

I hear Shunsui singing a familiar song. One so familiar it brings a tear to my eye. I open my eyes and immediately start sobbing. Zaraki, and I know it's him because of the smell, pulls me into his arms. "You're ok."

"I know I'm ok!" I yell angrily.

"Then why are you cryin'? And stop yellin'."

"I can see. I was so scared once he blinded me that I'd never see again. I'd never see our kids grow up or see your grouchy face or that stupid grin of yours that makes me happy."

"Aww, Harmona, honey. Don't cry. You're not blind and you can see all that, especially his ugly mug, whenever you want." Shunsui laughs.

"Shut up! He's not ugly. He's the most handsome man I've ever seen!" I yell.

"Stop yellin'!" Zaraki growls. I kiss him, my mind still not quite registering the fact that I'm not dreaming. He pulls away after a moment and looks me in the eyes. "Wiggle your toes for me."

I give him a puzzled look then remember my spine was damaged. I look at my feet. "I'm a little scared. What if they don't work?"

"Won't know until you try." Shunsui says gently.

I decide to forget wiggling my toes. Instead I shift myself to the edge of the bed. Zaraki watches me. I hear Shunsui make a noise of protest but I refuse to listen. I set my feet on the floor. "Well, I can feel it's cold. Maybe that's a good sign." I sigh in relief. I take the plunge and stand. They feel a little weak but my legs support me. I take a shaky step forward, then another. I manage to get to the door before they try to give out and, as usual, Zaraki is there to catch me.

"Ok, so they'll need some work. I suppose that's natural." Shunsui says, sounding relieved.

"I'm starving. Might be another problem." I mumble, burying my nose in Zaraki's chest.

"We'll get you fed. Don't worry."

"Where are the twins?"

"Yumichika has them in the play room here. Don't worry."

I nod. "Can we go home now?"

Isane walks in and sets food on a tray. "Kindly put her down, please. As for going home, that should be alright once I see that you can hold down food. That wound was terrible."

"You seem relaxed." I say, not really trusting her.

"Okami and Orihime healed you. I trust them."

Zaraki sits me back on the bed. "Eat, Wolf. Then we can take the kids home."

I glance at the plate and there's more than I can possibly eat. I notice two sets of chopsticks. "You eat too. Isane, how did you know I was awake?"

"Okami came and told me. He's a very handy zanpakutou spirit." she laughs.

"Yeah, he is." Isane leaves and I knock the chopsticks from Zaraki's hand.

"The hell?" he growls.

"She just told me a fucking lie. That's not Isane. Go get the kids. Now!"

He's gone in a flash, leaving me with Shunsui. He sends a hell moth to sound the alarm. "Good catch, Harmona."

***Kenpachi POV***

"Oh, hello, Captain! How's Wolf?" Yumichika asks brightly when I walk in the damn playground.

"Fine but we got a problem. Come on." I say, pickin' Michiko up. Yumichika's face falls into a serious one and he grabs Takeshi. I lead them back to her room and the kids go ballistic, lettin' out happy screams and reachin' for her. Once they're in her arms, I march into the hall and stand guard.

How in the fuck can someone mimic someone else's form...unless...no. Aizen sure as fuck can't be out of the Muken. Can he? Or is this another fuckin' trick? And why now?


	26. Chapter 26

"We've found Captain Kotetsu. She's been drugged with something but appears to be alright. It happened in the hall on her way back here." Hanatarou says nervously.

"Has there been a lot of foot traffic in the hall?" I ask.

"No, just her and the two medics that found her. The Stealth Force hasn't arrived yet."

I get out of bed. "Don't need them. I'll tell you who did this. I don't think it was Mori. He doesn't have the ability to make himself look like other people."

"Harmona, lay down. You just came back from the brink of death." Shunsui orders quietly.

"I'm going to go take a sniff. You can come with me, if you like."

"Wolf...do me a damn favor, will ya? Put some fuckin' clothes on!" Zaraki growls from behind me.

I twist myself around and smirk. The hospital robe has come untied and he's getting a nice view of my ass. Shunsui laughs as he hands me my uniform before turning so I can dress. I can't tease Zaraki like I want to but maybe that's not a bad thing. I'm not quite sure he's ready for that. I lift the kids, one in each arm, before making my way out the door. I'm slow about it as my legs are still unsteady. I don't want to drop my cargo. However, as I brush by Zaraki, he steals them from me. "You're makin' me nervous."

"Worry wart." I stick my tongue out at him before turning back down the hall. Hanatarou follows me for a moment before pointing down a different hall to the right. I turn and head that way, sniffing as I go. I circle the spot once I find it. "Tch. You sorry, pedophile son of a bitch. That's why you want my kids." I grumble.

"What?"

"The fiance Mori arranged for me when I was ten. This is him. Yoshirio Kotaku."

"Did his sword have that ability?" Shunsui asks.

"I don't know. I never saw him use his shikai. I highly doubt he had a bankai."

"It'll be in his record."

I nod. "Yeah, I'd say so. That's Mori's helper. That's who drugged me."

"Now that you know for sure, what do you plan to do?" Zaraki asks.

I smirk. "What wolves always do. Hunt and kill."

"Harmona, you can't!" Shunsui snaps.

"Why?"

"Because I can't-"

I put my finger against his lips. "Trust me, Dad. He's a coward. Worse than Mori. He came in one time during Mori's torture and got sick. He refused to come back. I've never been afraid of him so I won't freeze up."

"Are you sure?"

"My children's safety is at stake. I'm positive. However, I'm starving right now so I'm going back home to eat. Kenpachi, come with me. Dad, I'm trusting you with the kids. It won't take me long to find him. He's the only man I know who drinks his particular brand of sake and he always reeks of it. I'll have him dead by the end of today." I say before turning on my heel and heading out of the infirmary. I have a purpose now. One that has my demon excited for the coming bloodbath.

***Kenpachi POV***

I've never seen this amount of determination from her. It's strange. A year ago, when she came outta her wolf, I never woulda believed she'd ever look like this. In a way, it's unnerving. "I'm comin' with you. So if they arrest you, they know you're under orders."

"No. He'll know he's being hunted if he sees you. Send Ikkaku with me."

"You and Ikkaku haven't been gettin' along lately."

"He's mad at me. For the kids. He thinks us having kids is bad because it's distracting you from being...you."

"Tch. Figured it was somethin' stupid. You sure you trust him?"

"Ikkaku wouldn't do anything to piss you off at him. He respects you too much. And we're hardly ever together without Yumichika. It'll throw the bastard off."

I nod. "Alright. I trust ya. Don't go too crazy."

She raises an eyebrow. "Me? Crazy? I think you have me confused with someone else."

I watch her as she finishes eatin'. "No, you're the crazy woman I married and spawned with. There's no damn confusion there."

She smirks and kisses me. "Of course not. I'll be back when it's over."

My eye follows her as she leaves the house. She's got this. No doubt in my mind.

***Harmona POV***

I watch the man twenty feet in front of me, following him through the crowded streets of the market district. He stops to eye a couple small children, younger than Ichika but older than my twins. I lift my lip in disgust. Should he move toward them, I won't hold back. Ikkaku is on the roof tops above me, so he won't be in the way. I get a little closer to them.

"Would you like to see something? I bet your parents won't mind." He says to the girl. She looks afraid.

My reiatsu flares wildly as I take my wolf form. He bolts and I take off after him. People move out of the way in a hurry, warned off by my very furious snarling. I let him get out of the marker district before lunging and knocking his legs out from under him.

"Don't kill me! I beg you! I wanted nothing to do with your torture!" He screams in fear. Fucking rabbit.

I stand over him for a mere second before ripping his throat out. I spit the flesh out quickly. His taste is just as disgusting as he is. This was too easy. I know I should have tortured him a little more but I wanted it done quickly.

"Halt. You stay right there, wife of Zaraki. You are under arrest." Princess Kuchiki's voice says behind me.

"Captain Kuchiki, shes under orders from Captain Zaraki. This man hurt Captain Kotetsu this morning." Ikkaku says, hopping down beside me. I shift and fold my arms over my chest.

"I fail to see how she could identify him on her own."

"Same way I can identify you. Every person has a unique scent. You, for instance, smell like sakura blossoms, sandalwood and incense. Zaraki smells like blood, oak and steel. I am more wolf than person, if you remember." I growl.

"That would never hold up in front of central forty six."

"Ask our head captain. He witnessed the order to seek and destroy. I'm going to his office now to collect my twins." I say before turning on my heel and heading out. Ikkaku follows, surprisingly.

"You didnt fuck him up as bad as I figured you would." He says quietly.

"Other than him being a pedophile, I have no reason to hate him. No need to destroy a corpse with no reason. Mori, however, will suffer a lot more."

"You sure? You've been afraid of him until now."

"I have a plan now."

"Run it by me."

"No. Because then you will point out its flaws and I'll get depressed again. It'll work as long as I believe in myself ."

He nods. "You better make sure it works. You didn't see him when they brought you back. Or when the torture was going on. It was not only pathetic but he tried so damn hard to hide it. He was worried."

"I was drugged. Not like I wanted it to happen."

"I think, deep down, you did."

I stop in my tracks, causing Princess Kuchiki to bump into me. "Why?"

"Because you think you deserve it. That you're not worth the life you have. I think, deep down, you wanted to die because you think you're alone, no matter who tells you any different. You don't trust anyone's words, not even Captain Zaraki's. You think you're not worthy of the love of friendship you've been shown."

"I-"

"Convince me I'm wrong, Wolf. Lie to my face and tell me that's not what happened."

I take a deep breath before sighing. "I can't."

Ikkaku turns and begins walking again, leaving me and Kuchiki to follow. My deal with Mayuri will be the only way to deal with him. Once he's dead, things will get better. They have to.

****Kenpachi POV****

"She did it in broad daylight!"

"No! Not our wolf."

"How many blue wolves do you see running around, numb skull!"

"She had a good reason, probably. She never kills without a reason."

"Yeah, but still. And from what I hear Lieutenant Madarame and Captain Kuchiki are with her right now. This is bad."

"Captain...we have a problem, sir." Yumichika says softly. I look up from where I'm sittin' drinkin' sake.

"What?"

"Wolf. She killed a man."

"I ordered her to. She'll be fine. Ikkaku went with her as a witness to my order. Just in case somethin' like this happened. She'll be fine."

"It doesn't matter how many times you say that she'll be fine, sir."

"Shunsui ordered it too. She'll be fine."

"Now you're just doing that to annoy me."

"Maybe. How'd trainin' go?"

"Oh, one got hurt and sent to the infirmary. The other twelve are fine, though they did panic at first. It was sort of boring, really."

I smirk. Prissy man may act like he's better than us but he's just like us. "Come drink with me. I'm bored."

He smirks and sashays over, ploppin' down in the chair across from my desk. "Thank you, sir."

"Quit worryin'. She's fine."

****Harmona POV****

"Thank you, Lieutenant Madarame and Captain Kuchiki. Yes, she was under orders from both her captain and myself. That man injured squad four captain Kotetsu this morning and tried to drug her and Zaraki both. As you know, she's the best tracker we've got in the Gotei Thirteen so I gave a seek and destroy order." Shunsui says.

"Very well. I shall take my leave then." Kuchiki says before bowing out. Ikkaku, however, stays with me.

"Harmona, are you ok mentally?" Shunsui asks quietly.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Like I told Baldy here earlier, I had no reason to be afraid of Kotaku. That's why I didn't go hay wire with the killing." I shrug.

"Alright. Twins are sleeping right now. I'll bring them home later, ok?"

I smile. "Thanks. I appreciate you not waking them. They're difficult when they have their nap interrupted."

"No problem. They're my grandkids so I'm happy to spend time with them."

"I'm headed home then. Probably to take a nap. I'm still pretty tired."

"Sounds like a plan. See you later, kiddo."

I turn and Ikkaku follows me silently. He's like a shadow today. It's really out of character for him. "Wolf?"

"Yeah?"

"You need to get your head on straight. You being afraid of him makes you weak and therefore weakens Zaraki by having to worry about you all the time."

"I know. I'm...working on it. It won't be much longer, I don't think."

"Hurry it up. There's no place for weak cowards in out squad."

I nod. "I got it."

"Good."

We walk silently the rest of the way home. Apparently, my killing earlier has reached every corner of the Seireitei, judging by the stares I receive and the hushed voices. Good. What's not good is the smell of fear. If someone runs, I'm going to have to chase.

***Kenpachi POV***

Yumichika is jabberin' about random shit again, as usual. Askin' him to drink with me was a fuckin' mistake. He's doin' more drinkin' than talkin'. "Feather head! You're too damn-"

I'm tackled from behind. That goddamn woman is gunna get her ass beat for it one of these days. I land on my back and she sits on my belly. However, seein' the smile on her face, it calms me down a bit. "Done?"

"He's dead. I didn't torture him like I should have but I never hated him like Mori. He didn't scare me like Mori does."

"And Kuchiki?"

"Happened to witness it. Shunsui stuck up for me too so hopefully nothing will happen, as I was under orders." she shrugs.

"And Ikkaku?"

"He stayed with me. I think we made nice again. Sort of."

"Good. Figured you'd bring the kids home with you."

"Shunsui said they were sleeping so he'd bring them by later."

I nod. "Naptime?"

She smirks. "Sure. Naptime." She says it in a way I know damn good and well we won't be takin' a nap...

She lays beside me, a satisfied smile on her face as she kisses the palm of my hand. "I love you."

"Sleep, Wolf. You'll need it before the kids come home. And you should be proud. You wore my ass out too."

"You know you could say it. I won't tell anyone."

"Love you too. Now sleep."

I listen as her breathin' slowly changes into deep, steady breaths. I always try to wait on her to go to sleep before I go, for the simple fact that I know she's relaxed. She took care of one problem. Now, wonder how long it'll be before she takes care of Mori. I ain't gunna hold my breath. She'll never do it. I know her too well. She's too afraid of him still. Even more so now, I'll bet. I'll have to kill him. It'll be too easy and I'll be bored but he's gotta die.

****Harmona POV****

I'm startled awake by a low moan right in my ear. It'd be one thing if it was a pleasure one but this sounds different. Almost like fear. I roll in his arms, only making him hold me tighter. "No, Wolf. Don't you dare fuckin' die on me!" he yells.

Seeing me like that scared him? I'm positive he's seen worse, probably caused worse too, knowing him. However, I decide to kiss him gently. "I'm safe, Kenpachi. Not dying today."

His eye cracks open and he stares at me in confusion for a moment. "Wolf?"

"Yeah, I'm here. You poor thing."

He wipes his hand over his face. "Your fuckin' nightmares are rubbin' off on me, brat."

"Sorry." I kiss him again.

"You two finally woke up, I see." Shunsui chuckles from the door. I hear my kids' happy squeals and am suddenly pounced on by them. Zaraki buries his head under the blanket. "They ate about half an hour ago. I gave them some mango pieces out of the fridge. We've been here about an hour waiting for you two to wake up."

"Sorry." I laugh.

"Oh, no trouble. You look better than you did earlier. I'll see you two later."

I watch the twins pummel their father for awhile before I join in the fun. Sometimes I really do think that being a kid is more fun...well, for most kids anyway.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Cabbage leaves? Really?" I say, my nose wrinklin'.

"That's what Orihime said will help dry me up. They're a year old, they have teeth, I'm done." Harmona growls.

"Why not keep goin'? With me. I like how you taste."

"You pervert!"

I smirk. "Thanks for the birthday party last night. That was fun."

Now I get a smile. "You're welcome, old man."

I kiss her roughly. "You're older than me."

"Don't look like it though, Captain."

I smack her ass, enjoyin' the pleased moan she gives me. "Hush, woman."

"Oh...uhm, I probably should've mentioned this before now but I'll be gone for a week. Don't worry. I plan to train with Okami but I need a lot of space and no distractions. I should be back by next Friday."

"And the kids?"

"Will be here with you and Yumichika has been ordered to help under pain of me shaving his head and stealing his feathers. You know Swee will help you too. And Renji."

"You're killin' me. Why can't you train here?"

"Because you're here to distract me. I just...need quiet and calm, Okami says. I'll be fine."

I get a feelin' in my gut she's lyin' to me but somethin' tells me to leave it. "Is this the only way you'll get strong enough to kill him?"

"Yes. I promise to come back as soon as I can."

"You better. Or I'll hunt you down and drag you back here by your hair and chain you to the bed."

"Ooooh, sounds kinky." she giggles.

"Don't start."

She kisses me softly. "One week. Then I'll come back. I promise." is all she says before she disappears out the door.

I stare at the twins, who give me accusin' looks. "What? It was her idea."

And, as usual, Takeshi gives me his war cry before pullin' himself up on my hakama and demandin' to be held. Michiko just starts crawlin' off. She's always been more like her mom. Independant little shit, though she does have moments sometimes when she prefers bein' held.

****Harmona POV****

I hate lying to him but this is the only way. I'm a coward and can't face my fear. I have to rely on Mayuri to help me...no matter the cost. As I enter the gate of squad 12, Nemuri greets me. "Hello, Mrs. Zaraki!" she yells, as only a child can do.

"Nemuri. How are you, sweety?" I ask, crouching down to get eye level with her.

"I'm ok. Master Mayuri is inside. He's expecting you. He told me to wait out here and lead you to the lab he's going to be working with you in." she says, her tone a little quieter now.

"Alright. Show me the way." I smile at her, holding my hand out. She seems surprised by the gesture but takes my hand and leads me into the bowels of the research department. It takes us only minutes, though it seems longer due to the dark corridors. When we reach a door, she inputs the code, which I memorize just in case, before guiding me inside.

"Ah, so you did decide to follow through with our agreement. Very good. I promise you one week. I should have all the things I need to study after the week is over." Mayuri says, sneering in a way only he can.

"Just remember, you damage me too bad, Zaraki will slaughter you and destroy your labs." I sigh.

"Duly noted. I have no need to harm you, really. I've been using spy bacteria implanted in your body to study you for the most part. However, that doesn't give me all the answers I need. So, we shall run the tests I asked for. Liquids first, if you please." he says, handing me a cup and turning me to a room off this one. "In you go. Fill it to the line, if you can."

I roll my eyes but decide to follow through with his order. This week won't be fun.


	27. Chapter 27

"Oh hell. You smell like Kuchiki does!" I grouch at Takeshi as I lay him out on the table in my room. Sure enough, he's taken a big shit. "This is your mom's job! She better come back soon. These weird ass aches and pains all day are botherin' the shit outta me." I say before cleanin' him up. Michiko doesn't make this much of a damn stink. I'm positive of that. I get him stripped out of his little outfit once he's cleaned up and grab him, headin' for the bath. Michiko is already in here so I plop them both in the water. They both give me a war cry before splashin' water all over me. Damn brats. Oh well, they're my brats.

As I watch them play in the bubbles in their water, I get to thinkin'. This pain I feel is familiar. Right in the crook of my elbows sometimes. Three times a day for the past two days. It's more annoyin' than anythin' but I wish I knew what the hell she was doin'. It almost feels like bein' stabbed by a needle....wait a minute....no. Wolf wouldn't be in squad 12. No way. She hates Mayuri almost as much as I do. Maybe she took a healer with her in case Okami knocks her out or somethin'. That better be what it is.

***Harmona POV***

"I've collected plenty of blood and urine from you. And milk, thank you for offering that. I'm sure it will be most intriguing to see how useful it can be." Mayuri says. "Today, I have a need to collect a sample of your bone and it's marrow. It will hurt. Tremendously. I can only numb your muscles."

"Kenpachi will feel it. I mean, if you need it, go for it, but just be warned he will feel it though the chain I put on him." I shrug.

"Oh, I don't care. You and I both know I dislike your husband." he chuckles.

I hop up on the table where he's indicated and lay on my side. He's been very odd to deal with, really. Almost like he's impressed by me somehow but he clearly doesn't like me much. However, he's been accommodating. Extra meat at meals, letting me walk around naked if I want and tolerant of my attacks on anyone who tries to touch me when I do. He rubs the antiseptic on my leg, the outer part of my thigh to be exact. It makes me look like I have a large oddly rectangular tan, as I'm so pale. He does this for five minutes or so before finally coming at me with a rather long needle. I wince as he pushes it in my leg and pushes the plunger down. It burns. Badly.

****Kenpachi POV****

What the fuck!? Why the hell does my leg burn?! It goes away just as quickly as it came so I shake my head. Somethin' Harmona is doin', no doubt. Startin' to piss me off. I head for the damn infirmary since it's time for my yearly check up. These are a fuckin' pain. Even more so because Retsu ain't the one doin' it anymore. I miss that woman. She was always a good one to talk to even if it did usually end up with us sparrin'.

Right as I get ready to take another step, I'm forced to my knees, lettin' out a roar of pain. This is fuckin' agony! It feels like my fuckin' leg is bein' broken and torn to shreds on the inside. Several people race toward me but I wave them away impatiently. Fuck! Harmona, what the hell are you doin'!?

****Harmona POV****

I scream around the strip of leather Mayuri gave me to bite. Kenpachi isn't going to be happy. Why the hell didn't I take this serious!

"I'm almost finished. Scream however much you must." Mayuri tells me. I'm doing a lot of screaming, tears rolling down my face. I'm going to puke. I just know it. Poor Nemuri is standing with a bucket next to me for just that reason. Her little hand strokes my head, trying to soothe me. One final scream and I hear an ugly snap. "All done. Tell your zanpakutou it's ok to heal you again."

Okami does so with much complaint while Mayuri watches. The pain is soon dull but not gone. Zaraki is going to kill me if he ever finds out.

****Kenpachi POV****

I can finally stand. There's a dull pain. She's broken a leg from the feel of things. What in the fuckin' hell is she doin'!? She's not clumsy so what the hell happened? It dawns on me that she's probably not trainin' with Okami like she said. She's trainin' with the demon. That's the only explanation. Why couldn't she have just said that?

"Captain Zaraki, are you alright, sir?" some stupid idiot asks me.

"Just fuckin' fine. Let's fight to the death." I snarl at em. Everyone runs away...except Kuchiki. He stares for a moment before turnin' and walkin' away calmly. Damn noble bastard. I make my way to the damn infirmary and barge into Isane's office. What I see has me completely stunned. "Yumichika, what the hell are you doin'?"

The feather head stops kissin' Isane and turns to glare at me. "Not one word to Wolf. Isane and I happen to like eachother."

I smirk. "Not a word. Go help Ikkaku with the twins. I got a physical today."

"I'll give you a physical if you are rude to her in any way, Captain."

I stare after him as he leaves before turnin' to stare at Isane. She blushes. "Let's get this over with, Kenpachi. I, uh, have paperwork to do if you men would stop distracting me." she says.

"You have a peacock to do, you mean. Bout time you grew up."

"Shut up."

I ain't gunna let this go. Another noose over another captain's head. It's fuckin' hilarious.

****Harmona POV****

"Our week is completed. I have the samples I need. Now, for what I promised you." Mayuri says before holding out a black collar. "This will shut down all emotion. No love, fear, anger, for example. I would suggest you not put this on until you intend to confront Mori. But, when you do, unless it's cut off, only I can remove it with a key. Do you understand?"

I take it and put it in my pocket. "I understand. Thank you, Captain Kurotsuchi, for your help in this matter."

He blinks. "I don't usually get a thank you for anything I do. I'm sure I'll know when you've completed your revenge. It'll be all the talk of the Seireitei again. However, go home now."

"But it's a day early."

"I've gotten what I need from you. Go home."

I nod and leave. I have a bad feeling about this collar but it's the only way...

I stand watching Zaraki with the kids, a smile on my face as he play wrestles with them. Takeshi seems to be the more timid of the two. Michiko, however, is giving it her all. I think she's got more Zaraki in her than Takeshi got. I decide to jump into the fray. It's good to be home.

****Kenpachi POV****

I finally manage to pin Harmona, though she struggles for a bit. The kids are beatin' my back with their little fists but it's like having a swarm of flies on me. I kiss her roughly, enjoyin' the soft moan she gives me. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the noises she makes for me. However, I figured out she lied to me when Isane took my blood durin' my physical. It was the same pain I was feelin' in my arms off and on those first three days. "We need to talk, Wolf." I growl in her ear before releasin' her and gettin' to my feet. She, of course, ignores me and tussles with the kids for a few minutes before they start yawnin'. It's about their nap time so we get them rounded up and take them home. Once they're settled, she heads for the kitchen and grabs her damn mango juice out of the fridge. I watch how her throat moves as she drinks and have to fight the urge to pin her down and fuck her. She's got no idea just how sexy she is. It drives me nuts.

"So, you want to tell me the truth?" I growl.

She sighs. "I was in the labs with Mayuri. We made a deal a few months ago. I let him run tests on me, he'd help me figure out a way to remove the fear long enough to kill Mori that way my demon has no part in it."

"And?"

"Once I put it on, only he can remove it unless it's cut off." she says, holdin' out a collar for me to inspect.

I frown. "Wolf, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because you would have stopped me."

"Yeah, probably."

"You told me using my demon to do my dirty work is cowardly so I'm doing something else to control my fear. I have to, Kenpachi, or I'll never kill him. I'm terrified of that man. I know it now that I can't face him by myself."

"It's about fuckin' time you admit it. I've known it for awhile but knowin' that you know you're terrified makes it easier."

She steps closer to me. "Are you mad at me?"

Somethin' in her voice makes me pause before I answer. There's a note of genuine worry there. She's actually worried that I'm pissed at her. "No, I ain't mad. Even if you need a little help, least you're not relyin' on that thing to do it for you."

She throws herself into my arms, layin' claim to my mouth. The taste of mango on her lips and tongue, somethin' unique to her, has me needin' to fuck her. Hard. Goddamn temptress. She must feel the same, since she slips her hand into my hakama and massages me. But she hasn't had her pill in almost a week now. I pull my head away. "Wolf, this ain't a good idea unless you wanna get knocked up again. You left your damn pills here." I say softly. I let her stroke me though, enjoyin' the feel of her soft hands on me.

"I don't care, Kenpachi. I've missed you. And we wouldn't be safe even with the pill." she says, her lips brushin' my neck with every word.

"Why not?"

"I'm fertile. You said you like seeing me with a round belly. So make it round again, Kenpachi."

"I can't, Wolf. You need to take care of Mori first. I don't want him to get you while you're pregnant. I can't take that chance."

She nods and steps back. "Yeah, you're right. I wasn't thinking about that."

I kick myself mentally. Why the hell did I say that? Here I have my sexy as hell wife wantin' to fuck me and I'm refusin' her. I got a good reason but still. What a fuckin' pain. "So, how're you gunna do it, Wolf? Mori, I mean."

"Track him. I'm the best tracker in the Gotei Thirteen. Even Swee admitted it. So, not much else for me to do."

"When?"

"When do you want me to?"

"I'm goin' with you. To make sure it's done. I won't interfere." I state calmly.

She hesitates but nods. "Fair enough. I'll need someone to cut this collar off me anyway. Mayuri says it'll make me completely emotionless."

"If that's what needs to be done, so be it. Give yourself a week to rest. What the hell did he do to your leg, by the way."

"He took a bone sample and some marrow."

"That shit fuckin' hurt."

"Sorry. Want me to make it better?"

"I said no, Wolf. Trust me, I want you so fuckin' bad it hurts, but you need to take care of this asshole first."

She smirks. I don't like that smirk. She always gets her damn way with that smirk. She kneels down in front of me and I know her game. Always that fuckin' smirk. Gets me every time.

****Harmona POV****

I take the stupid pill under Zaraki's supervision. He hadn't complained when I'd gotten him off using everything but my pussy and ass the other day, but he still is being a jerk. I need laid. By him, not just his hand or tongue. This is killing me. "I hope you know, when this is all said and done, I'm going to need a couple days alone with you."

"Why?"

"Because I need more than your tongue or your hand. I need fucked. Bad."

He laughs a little. "You think I'm enjoyin' this?"

"Yes, you are, or you wouldn't be holding out on me. Most other women would think you're just tired of them and don't want to fuck anymore or you've found a new bed partner but I know you better than that."

"Damn right you do."

"Please, Kenpachi! You're killing me!" I whine.

"You'll live. You went six weeks after havin' the kids without my dick."

"So? You don't have the excuse of me having just given birth to stop you now!"

"So go kill him then." he shrugs.

"Ok. See you later."

I dart off before he can get to his feet. I know I'm being a brat but...sometimes a girl just has to do drastic things to get what she wants. However, I'm not alone long when he comes running up behind me. "You're not funny."

"You told me to go kill him." I shrug.

"I didn't order it though."

"So? You won't fuck me anymore unless I do, so I might as well."

"That the only reason you're with me?"

"No. But I really enjoy sex with you, Kenpachi. It feels so good and makes me think I'm beautiful."

"You are beautiful. Even if you're damn stupid sometimes and don't wanna believe it. Do you know how many guys make the mistake of fantasizin' about fuckin' you out loud durin' trainin'?"

"And you let them live?"

"Barely. I make sure they know exactly who you belong to."

"Maybe I need a reminder."

He reaches to catch me but I dart out into the Rukongai. I dodge him every time he tries to catch me. He finally gets tired of it and shoulder checks me into a tree. I yelp as the bark cracks my chin open. He pins me with his body, pressing hard against my back. "Don't fuckin' tease me, woman. You're mine. No other man will touch you or I'll kill them." he snarls in my ear.

"I know that. You're awful possessive." I tease him a little more.

"If I fuck you now, you'll get pregnant. Then I'll have to assign a guard to you or keep you by me all day every day. Then that's two more years you can't kill him."

"Or you can fuck me now and then we go kill him within the week."

"No."

"Fuck me now and-"

I'm interrupted by the tree magically being sliced above my head. I know it's not Zaraki, he's still standing behind me. His reiatsu flares though, stopping whatever did the cutting. It's so hot here. So fucking...I can't breathe.

"Zaraki, I don't have a bone to pick with you. Just with her." Mori says.

"Your bone with her is a bone with me, asshole." Zaraki growls before turning and facing off with Mori.

I hear steel clash, over and over. Mori's green reiatsu mixing with Zaraki's yellow. The sheer power is terrifying. I fall to my knees, watching intently.

"Slither, Shiroi Yurihebi!"

"Drink, Nozarashi!"

The power of their shikai is terrifying. The acid is spraying everywhere. A droplet hits me and brings me to my senses. I have to stop this before-

"Fuck! You weak little coward, relyin' on acid to win. You never should've been captain of the eleventh! You're too fuckin' weak!" Zaraki roars, his hand already breaking down.

"Okami! I know you hate me asking but please, keep him alive a while. I...need a few minutes. Please!" I beg him.

"She's a fucking monster, Zaraki!" Mori yells, taking a shallow wound from Zaraki's war cleaver.

"No, you are! What man could hurt a child the way you did to her? Nailin' her shoes to her feet. You're a real fuckin' coward. Only cowards pick on those weaker than them!" Zaraki roars.

I close my eyes, delving inside me. My demon refuses to respond. "Please, wake up. It's time!" I hiss at him.

"It's over, Zaraki!" Mori screams before managing to get past Zaraki's sword and stabbing him in the chest.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream. It'll be a fatal wound. "Okami, heal him. Now!" I scream before slapping the collar around my neck. This is no longer a battle for fun. It is a battle for life. I can't lose. I feel...no fear. No love. Only anger. Mayuri, that fucking bastard. He knows what I am.


	28. Chapter 28

"You can't fight me, bitch. I'll fucking kill you. Slaughter you like the fucking monster you are." Mori snarls, facing me down.

"I'll show you a monster, Mori." I laugh. My reiatsu burns wildly, scorching the ground beneath my feet. "You tried to take my children. Now, you've possibly killed my mate. I was an innocent child when I killed your wife. It was an accident. You, however, will suffer."

"Die!"

We meet in a clash of steel. I ignore the droplets of acid hitting me. I don't feel them. The anger continues building. Mayuri knew I'm a berserker. That's why he made this collar to amplify the fury. This is going to be bad for Mori. He will suffer tremendously at my hands.

***Kenpachi POV***

I'm watchin' her and after she slapped that damn collar on, I don't recognize her. She was afraid until that point. Now all I sense from her is anger, like that day in the dojo. I thought that damn collar was supposed to cut off all her emotions but apparently not. I put a hand to my chest. The wound is healin'. "Okami?"

The wolf appears from behind me. "She will win, Alpha. Her fear is gone. Replaced by rage. Her rage will see it done, but you must live to save her after that. That collar will need removed."

I watch as she grabs Mori and, in a move I've done to her countless times, she uses his wrist to throw him into a tree. He's lookin' pretty banged up already. Course, she does too. "You healin' her too?"

"Yes, of course. Why must you ask stupid questions, alpha?"

"Attitudinal bastard." I tease him.

"Harmona!" Okami yells suddenly, lookin' panicked.

I look over and Mori's stabbed her through the heart...but she's not goin' down. Trees start topplin' as her reiatsu spikes dangerously. A fuckin' mad grin is on her face, one that makes me shiver. Her eyes are still blue but they glow. Blood lust has set in. "Okami, what's happenin'?"

"That collar! It's spiking her rage! She's gone completely berserk and I can't get through to her. Her mind is blocked completely. Even her demon is frightened of her right now."

"Is that so?" I chuckle.

Mori screams in agony as Harmona shoves her hand through his back and rips it right back out. She's got somethin' in her...oh damn. That's gotta hurt. She tosses the kidney she's removed in his face. He looks fuckin' terrified. She pounces on him, tearin' her claws into any unprotected skin she can get to. Small chunks are flyin' along with blood. She's laughin' about it too.

"Alpha...stop her. She's letting me see what she's planning. Little flashes anyway. She's really going to rip his heart out and devour it." Okami says. If possible, I'd say he looks a little green but it's hard to tell under all that blue.

I check my chest and find it's completely healed so I get to my feet. "Any suggestions?"

"Bankai. If you beat her berserker with yours, you will truly be her alpha. Right now, you have only a partial hold on her."

"Are you fuckin' crazy?! I can't kill her!?"

"I won't let either of you die! You are her soul mate and she is yours. She deserves to be happy, you simpleton!" he snaps.

"Okami, I can't!"

He turns on me. "Do it or I kill her myself. Permanently."

"I hope you know what you're doin'. I grumble.

Mori has managed to get some space between them, usin' trees as cover. Coward. "Do not kill him, alpha. She must be the one to kill him. But you must stop her. Now."

She's goin' haywire on anythin' and everythin'. I've teasingly called her crazy before. Now I see what it means. "Swallow, Nozarashi." I say quietly.

I'm on her like white on rice. I'm in control right now, since I wasn't pissed off to start with. She meets me with a furious roar. Her nails on her hands have changed. Those ears and her tail are out too. I roar back at her and swing my cleaver at her. She jumps over it and attacks. I need to cut that damn collar off...wait, why cut it off? I can probably just break the damn thing...

We're both bloody and my temper is risin'. I've gotten no closer to removin' the damn thing. Mori is long gone. She's pantin', her reiatsu fadin' a little. She's runnin' out of energy. She darts forward and I manage to grab her, knockin' her to the ground. I plant a foot between her shoulders and reach for the collar. I catch hold of it right as she pushes herself up a little and rolls. It breaks, sendin' an electric shock up my arm. It fuckin' hurts! Fuckin' scientist freak!

***Harmona POV***

What the hell happened? I remember putting the collar on then everything is blank. There's a lot of blood on me. Did I kill Mori? A furious roar behind me makes me jump and I glance over my shoulder...a red demon stands there, eyeing me hatefully. That scar...I don't have time to puzzle over it as the cleaver comes at me. Shit! This is Zaraki's bankai!?

"Kenpachi!" I scream at him, trying to make him realize who it is he's attacking. He simply keeps swinging that cleaver. I'm going to die! I've used most of my energy somehow and now I don't think I have enough to fight him. I duck as he swings at me again. His reiatsu is overwhelming, more so than that first day of our honeymoon...wait a minute. Maybe I can distract him. It'll be difficult but I have to get between him and his weapon. I dodge another swing and dart behind him, jumping on his back. "Kenpachi, stop it!" I yell in his ear.

He throws himself backwards and pins me to a tree. I lose my grip on him and he turns too fast, slicing though my shihakushou, and a little into my skin. I roll out of the way as the cleaver comes back toward me, shedding the remains of my uniform as I go. He tilts his head in confusion before grabbing my tail and yanking me backwards. I try to kick him but he throws me down on my back, knocking the wind out of me. He crouches between my legs before dropping the cleaver. What in the hell is he doing? He grabs at my panties, tearing them off me before holding them up and sniffing. I blush. He's never done that before. Of course, he's not exactly my Zaraki right now. He glares down at me in confusion, a dark grin on his face. "Kenpachi, please!" I say softly.

He growls at me again before grabbing my legs and flipping me over. I hear him move behind me and my ass is on fire suddenly as he grabs both cheeks, digging his nails in as he lifts my ass in the air. Surely he's not...oh yes. He is. He sniffs my pussy and growls again. I have no warning before his tongue invades me, making me moan loudly. He's more aggressive than usual. Within minutes I'm coming unglued, squirming. He withdraws, only to bite my ass cheek, piercing the skin a little. That doesn't help me. Not at all. I manage to kick him, knocking him off balance. While he's on his back I pounce on him, untying his obi and setting his penis free. He knocks me off with a punch to the shoulder but I get right back on him, turning so my pussy is in his face. This seems to placate him.

His skin here burns hotter than the rest of him. I wonder if I can relieve the heat. I stroke him with my tongue before taking him in my mouth. He grabs my ass again and spreads me. He better not be doing what I think he's doing. Thankfully, he leaves the hole alone. He seems to be inspecting the more interesting one. His fingers swipe at the moisture before plunging inside me without mercy. I moan around his dick, feeling out of control with need. Once again, right when I'm on the edge of orgasm, he removes his fingers. I pause in my movements on him, trying to catch my breath or even some sanity back. His arm curves over my back and his tongue is back inside me. I'm spiraling back out of control. My teeth clench slightly as he uses one of his fingers to invade my ass. He's never done anything to my ass before. It hurts a little. My orgasm crashes over me violently. I hear him growl in an approving way as he continues tormenting me.

"Kenpachi!" I whimper. I need more. I need him to fuck me. I don't think I've ever felt this needy. He throws me off of him suddenly. The air is knocked out of me as I land on my back. I can't move when he storms over to me. He pins me down with his body and reiatsu, plunging his penis inside me with no hesitation. The violence of his movements has me begging before long. "Kenpachi, please! Fuck me! Don't stop!" I don't know if he can understand me but I can't help it. In and out, harder than he's ever been. The wet smacking noise is loud to my ears. I dig my nails into his back, making him snarl at me and bite my neck. His reiatsu rises further, making the hair on my skin rise. I scream his name as I break again, the intensity of it making spots dance in my eyes. His body shudders as he sinks as deep as he can inside me and finds his own release. His bankai drops suddenly and he stares at me in confusion for a moment or two before backing away.

"The fuck happened?" he yells.

"You used your bankai to stop me and broke the collar but the collar did something to piss you off and you tried to kill me. I distracted you the only way I knew how."

"You distracted me or I raped you?" he snarls.

"I distracted-"

He swipes his hand between my legs and holds it up. A mixture of blood and cum coats his fingers. "Lie to me again."

"Kenpachi, I'm not lying. I did it willingly. You were...really rough. It hurt a little but I enjoyed it. If you had raped me don't you think I'd be scared of you right now?"

He's quiet for a moment before punching a tree behind him. "I didn't want to fuck you today! Damn it! What if you're pregnant now!? Mori is still out there!"

"Kenpachi, please calm down. Judging by the amount of blood on me, he won't fuck with me for awhile, if ever again."

He yanks me to my feet before shoving me back against the tree he punched. "I'm fuckin' pissed right now, woman. Either fight me or spread your goddamn legs again."

I kiss him, trying to calm his anger. It seems to only ignite it further as he lifts me and slams me back against the tree before impaling me again. He's furious, hurting me a little, but I don't fight him. I bury my hands in his hair. "Kenpachi, I love you. I....oh god! Right there! Don't stop!" I beg, dropping my hands to his shoulders and pulling myself closer to him.

His nails dig into my thighs as he shudders, the anger finally dying down. His movements become less violent and he kisses me, his tongue dueling mine. Within minutes, I'm calling out his name as I break again. He follows soon after, burying himself inside me as he explodes. I rest my head on his shoulder. "I love you so much, Kenpachi. Please don't be angry with me." I whimper, fighting tears.

"You're bleedin'. That was fuckin' stupid, Wolf. Don't ever distract me when I'm in bankai again." he growls.

"I won't. I'm sorry."

***Kenpachi POV***

Do I believe her? Not one goddamn bit. Fuckin' pain in the ass woman. The smell of her blood is pissin' me off again. I can't fuckin' believe she did such a stupid damn thing. She whimpers a little when I pull out of her. "Can you walk?"

She sets her feet on the ground and takes a few steps. "Yeah but...well, you cut my shihakushou to pieces so I'd have to be a wolf for awhile." She shifts before I can say anythin'. I grab my shihakushou and haori, throwin' them on in a hurry. Harmona is walkin' off a little ways, her nose to the ground.

"Wait on me." I order. She stops and looks back over her shoulder at me. Somethin's wrong with her eyes. "Hey!" I yell right as she lands on her side. Her form shifts again. Damn it. She didn't eat today, I fuckin' bet. I throw my hoari over her and start back toward home. Luckily, I can see the damn wall in the distance or we'd be fucked.

******

Shunsui meets me at the gate. "What the hell happened!?"

"Mori. And Mayuri. He gave her a damn collar that was supposed to reign in the fear so she could beat Mori. It amplified her fuckin' rage and she went berserk. I'm takin' her to squad 4 now...there was an incident and I don't fuckin' believe her."

"Incident? What kind of incident?"

"I used my bankai to cut that collar off and...went crazy. She distracted me to keep me from killin' her and-"

"Did you rape her!?"

"She claims I didn't but...I don't know. I don't remember anythin' after cuttin' that collar. She's bleedin' though."

"So help me if you did I will fucking kill you myself!" he yells, completely unglued.

"I'd let you." I reply quietly. I may be a fuckin' monster but I'm not that monster.

**********

"Well...you didn't rape her but you sure as hell weren't gentle with her either. I've healed the damage with Okami's permission, since he was focusing on her heart. However, the amount of reiatsu you released in your bankai was high, even for her to handle so I'm keeping her overnight and doing a preventative antidote treatment for reiatsu poisoning. Far as the passing out, she's exhausted from her fight so she'll come around eventually." Isane says softly.

"She's probably knocked up." I admit softly. "She told me she was in heat earlier. She was beggin' me to fuck her all day too but I refused."

"That might've caused the episode with your bankai. I gotta say there is a lot of your sperm inside her so it's a high chance."

"So if he didn't rape her what caused the bleeding?" Shunsui snaps.

"Uhm...well, to put it simply, he must be well hung. He irritated her cervix. She'll be ok though." Isane blushes.

Shunsui glares at me and does somethin' he's never done before. My head jerks with the impact of his fist. "I warned you not to hurt her, you prick!"

"I didn't mean to, for once. Only time I hurt her on purpose is when we're sparrin'." I growl, rubbin' my jaw.

"Stop it!" Harmona snarls, sittin' up in bed. "You touch him again you and I will trade fists. He didn't hurt me on purpose. It was my stupid idea so be mad at me, not him." She rips the antidote IV out of her arm and gets to her feet. "I'm going home. I'm not staying here. That's final."

"Harmona! I'm ordering you-"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm not staying. I'm going home. Mori is still out there. My children need me and I don't want to be anywhere that my husband isn't. That's final."

She shifts into her wolf and, without a backward glance, she's gone.

****Harmona POV****

Zaraki grabs my tail before I get too far out of the Squad 4 barracks. I slow down and let him walk beside me. He walks in silence the entire way home. Happy screeches greet us when we get through the gate and Ikkaku comes running with Takeshi on his shoulders. Yumichika bears Michiko on his. "Heard y'all got some action. Did you kill him, Wolf?" Ikkaku asks.

"No, he got away. She took one of his kidneys with her bare hand and threw it in his face though." Zaraki grumbles softly.

"So...why is she a wolf again? You two have a fight?"

Zaraki refuses to answer, brushing by them. I follow him to the house and shift again. He glances over his shoulder at me. "Put some clothes on."

"Make me."

"Wolf, damn it, do what I say for once, will you?"

I step closer to him and wrap my arms around him. "Stop."

"Stop what?"

"You didn't rape me. You didn't hurt me that bad either. Stop being mad. I can smell it and I don't like it. What's done is done. I'm fine."

He stays tense for a few moments before finally relaxing. "I'm still mad. Why in the hell did you do that?"

"I knew you were too strong for me to fight since I hadn't eaten today. I was already running low on energy so...I did the only thing I could to make you quit swinging that damn cleaver around." I kiss his shoulders a couple times, trying to calm him. "I love you. Please don't be angry with me."

He sighs before relaxing fully. "Stop that, damn you. You make it hard to stay mad at you when you're naked."

I smile and continue kissing his shoulders. "You know how to make me stop." I purr, sliding my hands down to caress his abs.

"The hell are you doin' to me, woman?" he growls.

"Nothing that I don't want to do."

"I've still got your blood on me. I need a shower."

"Can I come with you?"

He groans softly making me laugh. "You're killin' me, Wolf."

"I meant to get a shower, idiot....although I wouldn't say no to more sex. I'm addicted to how good you feel inside me."

"Shower. Now." he growls.

I release him and head for the bathroom. He follows me and his hands cup my ass, caressing me gently. I think back to what he did earlier and bite my lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Smart ass. You did something earlier and it made me curious."

His hands stop moving. "What?"

"Well, when you were in your bankai, you...well, you were eating me out and you...have you ever wanted to fuck me in the ass?" I blush, even though he can't see my face.

"I've thought about it a time or two." he admits. "I have a need to claim every part of you, woman."

I nod and get in the shower. He follows quickly and, before he can react, I grab the soap and lather him up starting with his shoulders, slowly massaging and working my way down. I make sure to wash his penis very thoroughly, playing with it of course. I pull him forward into the water, unable to control myself any longer. Once the soap is gone look up at him as I tease him with my tongue. He grabs my hair, pulling a little as I open my mouth and start really teasing him. His hips move a little to match my motions. I moan softly as I lick the tip. He's going to blow soon.

"Stop, Wolf." he orders softly. I do as he's ordered and stand, turning my back to him.

"Fuck me, Kenpachi. However you want. I'm yours."

"Grab your ankles."

Again, I follow his instruction but, to my surprise, instead of taking up my offer of letting him do what he wants, he slides inside my pussy. He grabs my hips and moves me how he wants as he fucks me slowly. He's teasing me. However, he doesn't continue this long. He's fucking me hard and fast now. His name is a prayer on my lips. I fight him as long as I can but eventually, the pleasure wins. He continues for a few moments before I feel the heat of his release inside me. When he's done he pulls me back up by my hair. His lips are on my neck, his hands on my breasts. "Not done, Wolf. Not by a long shot. Since you were so damn determined to get me to fuck you today that you put your life in danger, I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk for a week."

"Even if I'm in heat?"

"To late to worry about that now. I've already filled your pussy three times today. If it happens, it happens."

"Long as you don't sniff me there anymore. That was weird." I giggle.

"Tch. I'll do whatever I want. However, you do have a pretty strong smell today. It's fuckin' intoxicatin'."

"Okami says you've never noticed before because we've never fucked when I've been on my most fertile days."

"Well, now I know how a damn dog feels. I got this urge to keep fuckin' you, over and over until your pussy just can't hold anymore."

My entire body heats up. "Do it. Please!"

He turns the water off and wastes no time carrying me to bed. I've missed this. He makes me feel so loved and wanted....

****Kenpachi POV****

I leave Harmona in bed sleepin' and take the twins outside with me. Her scent has finally died down a little so I can think straight again. She's gotta be pregnant now, as many damn times as I've fucked her the past three days. Hell, we'd only stopped long enough to eat, nap and use the bathroom. It'd been hard to keep her quiet when the kids were home sleepin' but we'd managed. I'm gunna let her sleep as long as she wants today. She'll go back to trainin' tomorrow.

"Dada!" Michiko yells. I look down at her and, before I can move, she pushes herself off her knees and takes off runnin'. She doesn't get far but I have to smile. She's been tryin' to walk for a few months now. Guess she finally decided to run. Takeshi, however, won't try for nothin' He's so damn timid. I set him on his feet and he grabs my hakama with one hand. I take a step and he follows. I guess if he's just afraid to let go, it won't hurt him to keep ahold of me. He'll get it eventually.

"Good morning, Captain Zaraki." some of the men greet me as we enter the mess hall.

The kids terrorize the men, though they don't seem to mind much, feedin' em different things off their plates and just lettin' em crawl in their laps. I keep an eye on them while sittin' with Ikkaku and Yumichika.

"You look....well fucked." Ikkaku teases.

"And?"

"So you two didn't have a fight the other day when she was a wolf?"

"Not exactly. I had to use my bankai and got a little outta hand. She distracted me to keep me from killin' her and ended up with no clothes."

"Are you...oh hell. She survived that?" Yumichika asks.

"I had to take her to squad four. I don't even remember doin' it. She claims it wasn't rape though."

They stare at me for a moment before noddin'. "Well, at least you didn't fuck her up too badly. She seemed pretty ok when she was cooking yesterday. If a little...bruised."

"Tch. She's a wild one. I'm lettin' her sleep today."

"Good idea. How's the nightmare problem?" Ikkaku asks.

I smirk. "Wouldn't know. We haven't slept much."

I laugh when they turn red. Sometimes, it pays to be able to say shit like that.

****Harmona POV****

"I'll kill you, Mori. I know I can do it now." I say, staring at myself in the mirror. I'd felt Zaraki leave with the twins. Now's the best time to go and track him down since everyone is in the mess hall. I'm going to kill him. I don't feel the fear anymore. I CAN do it. I WILL do it.

I don't look back as I leave the barracks. I'll make Zaraki proud of me. He might be angry, of course, but he'll be proud. The hunt is on.


	29. Chapter 29

I track Mori's scent easily enough. To my surprise, he's in the Captain's graveyard. Standing over my mother's grave. I stand and watch him for a few minutes.

"You begged me to forget her killing my wife, Retsu, but I can't. She's a fucking monster. Worse than you before you became the first captain of squad eleven. I can't forgive her." he says quietly, putting his hand on her tombstone. "You'd be proud of her. She's gotten stronger. A lot stronger. "

"Yes, I have gotten stronger. And I am here to fight you to the death. I'm ready now, Mori." I say, coming to stand beside him. "Thank you for leading me here. I never knew where she was buried before."

"You really want to do this here?"

"Not here, no. I don't want to disturb the dead."

"Come on then. I know a clearing in the Rukongai that should serve well enough."

I turn to him. "Mori, I'm sorry for killing your wife. I don't remember it. Okami says it was an accident. I...have werewolf blood in me. I had my first change that day and panicked. Your wife died because of that panic."

He nods. "I won't forgive you."

"I'm not asking for it."

"And I'm not sayin' sorry."

"I wouldn't forgive you if you did."

He laughs a little. "Good. Then may the best fighter win."

****Kenpachi POV****

I can't find her. And she's not in the damn city. Did Mori get her again or is she off walkin' off her issues like normal? I know she goes into the Rukongai to fight her demon sometimes. I'm hopin' that's what she's doing now.

"Captain Zaraki!"

I turn and watch Kuchiki's little sister run to me. "What?"

"You haven't seen Renji around, have you? He was missing from his post this morning, my brother said."

"No...my wife is missin' too."

"Wonder if they ran off somewhere drinking again." she sighs. "I can't feel either one of them though. That worries me."

A pain in my side tells me. "They wouldn't be fightin' for any reason, would they?"

"No. They don't even spar really. Sometimes she comes to talk to him. Never anything deep or meaningful, just...random things when it's easy to see she's bothered by something but isn't ready to talk about it."

"Any reason to suspect they're havin' an affair?"

"What!? No. Him I could see doing that but not her. She's so loyal to you. There's been several times she's been hit on when we've gone out drinking together but she always turns them down flat and says the only man that can keep her satisfied is you and if they don't leave her alone she'll kill them."

Another pain, this time in my arm. "Well, she's fightin' somebody."

"How...oh, wait. That soul chain, right?"

"Yeah. Can be a real pain sometimes. Wonder who...son of a bitch!" I turn and take of runnin'. Rukia follows me.

"What's wrong?"

"Mori!"

****Harmona POV****

My sword glances off his cheek, deflected by his own sword. We've been fighting for a little over ten minutes now. He's hit me twice. I've got him dozens of times. He seems irritated. I'm sure, by now, Zaraki has figured out something's wrong. However, I don't care.

"Let's up the ante, bitch." he spits.

"I don't have a shikai."

"Really? What's that half wolf form then?"

I shrug. "No idea."

"Use it then."

"Whatever you say."

He calls his shikai as I slip into that form. His sword is going to be a bitch to deal with in close range combat, but I can do this. I'm not afraid.

****Kenpachi POV****

Fuck this hurts. She's takin' a lot of damage right now. I can feel the burn of the acid from his blade. My side, back and legs are on fire. Why in the fuck would she take him on alone? Unless...no, can't be. She's no coward towards anythin' but him. Has she finally grown a back bone?

"I...feel her. Sort of. It's far off. District Seventy." Rukia says suddenly.

"Lead me there."

"Sure thing."

I follow her, tryin' to ignore the pain. She can do this if she just stops bein' a rabbit. I know she can.

****Harmona POV****

I tear my claws down Mori's side, one of them glancing off his rib. He retaliates by grabbing my hair and throwing me away from him. I hit with my back to a tree, throwing myself down as he stabs at me. His sword is stuck. This is the perfect time.

"Bankai. Rampage, Aoi Oni Okami!"

"What the fuck!?" he yells, yanking on his sword. Apparently, the acid only works on soft flesh because it's not working on the tree it doesn't seem like. My body shifts into a monster state. I grow to Okami's size, my legs shifting to those of a wolf, but covered completely in fur, unlike my first bankai stage. Another thing that's different is I'm completely naked except for the two skulls over my breasts. There's no chains this time. My skin is partially decomposed on my sides, leaving my ribs open. Large wings erupt from my back, made from bone.

"Are you ready, Mori?" I ask, my voice dark, sounding evil even to my ears.

"What the fuck are you?!" he says, continuing to pull on his sword in vain.

"Your death. Come, let me show you how I've suffered."

****Kenpachi POV****

The screaming is terrible. I can hear it as we get closer and Rukia stops. "Do you think...?"

"That's not Harmona screamin'." I say.

"That's what I thought. We're still a couple miles away. That sound is terrifying."

"Stay here if you're scared, woman."

"No, she's my friend. It's only right that I be there...in case."

I smirk. "Then keep goin'."

We move a bit quicker. The screamin' stops almost as quickly as it started....then I hear it. Her scream, but it's not from pain. This is...the pain of loss. The same scream I let out when I killed Retsu. Has she done it?

****Harmona POV****

He's on the ground, struggling to breathe. "I...need to....tell you something." he coughs.

I drop my bankai, as he's defenseless. His arms are rendered useless, one pulverized by my claws and teeth, the other disconnected at his elbow. His eyes are gone, taken out first thing, to make the game of killing him more fun. I've dismantled him, piece by piece, leaving only his brain and heart alone for now. His innards lay scattered in this clearing, along with one of his feet and an ear. "What? Begging me for mercy?"

"No. Come closer."

I kneel beside him. "What?"

"They haven't told you....who your father is?"

"No. Why-"

"Jushiro....Ukitake. He was....your father."

"What!?"

"This hurts....you fuckin' bitch. Zaraki knows and is....hiding it from you. Finish it. Now." He grabs my kosode. "Kill me! Now!"

I slice Okami across his neck and then into his heart. As the last breath rattles from him, I start crying. I pull his body into my arms and just let the tears fall. As much pain and hurt this man gave me over the years...I still loved him. He was my father without being my father. He taught me to survive, in his own way.

Someone hugs me from behind, but I'm too wound up in my grief to care. "It's ok, Wolf. I'm here, sis." Renji says gently, holding me as I start rocking. "Let it out. You're not alone anymore. You don't have to carry this burden anymore. Let it go."

I give voice to my pain with a scream. Rage, sorrow, pain, all are given voice with my scream. And Renji holds me through it, giving what comfort he can.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Renji!" Rukia yells as we get to the clearnin'. There's blood everywhere...and organs....and chunks of meat.

"Rukia! Sorry I saw her sneak out this morning and I had to keep her safe. I followed her and..."

"Did she do this?" I ask, turnin' to look at him.

"Yeah. All by herself. She...used bankai and that's the scariest thing I've ever seen, bar none."

"I'm confused. If she used bankai why is there a body left?"

He looks at me in confusion. "Huh? Why wouldn't there be? She turned into a weird ass half wolf half zombie thing and tore him to bits."

I look around and smirk. "She did all this carnage, huh?"

He nods. "Yeah but...I think she's in shock. I don't know if you heard that scream but she hasn't made a peep since. She's not responding to anything I say either. She won't let go of his body."

I crouch down on the other side of Mori. She's got a death grip on him and, as I look in her eyes, I don't see my woman. I see nothin' in her eyes. No pain, sadness or anger like there was before. There's nothin'. I reach for her and still no response. I have to pry her arms off of Mori and it's like fightin' with a body in rigor mortis. She's done a damn number on him and he's dead. That's good. However, I don't understand this. "Wolf?" No response. I've only seen shock like this once. I lift her in my arms. "I'll do the report. Renji...thanks."

"For what? I didn't do anything." he says in confusion.

"Just bein' here was enough. I'll see what I can do with her. Leave the body. I'll send some men to clean it up."

"Captain Zaraki...if you need help with the twins, bring them by. I think she's going to need most of your attention for a few hours at least. Ichika loves them so they can sleep over, if need be. We'd be happy to have them." Rukia says gently.

"You sure your brother won't mind?"

"Believe it or not, Captain Kuchiki has a soft spot for little ones like them. He spoils them rotten whenever we babysit and he happens to have a few minutes to check in." Renji chuckles.

"Thanks. Could you do me a favor? Can you grab Shunsui. Tell him it's urgent and she needs him."

"Sure thing." Rukia nods.

I turn without another word and let them guide me home. Harmona says nothin'. If she wasn't breathin', I'd say she was dead. Once we get back into the Seireitei, I head straight home. Ikkaku and Yumichika are waitin' at the gate. "What the hell happened?" Ikkaku asks.

"She killed Mori. She's in a state of shock right now. Renji is gunna take the kids for the night. He was with her when she did it."

"How bad was it?"

"Bad. I need a clean up crew to District Seventy."

"Yes, sir."

I take her home and lay her in bed. "Come on, Wolf. It's ok. Come back to me." I say in her ear.

No response. What in the hell is goin' on in her mind? I don't like this silence....

Shunsui hands me an order when he arrives. "I did everything I could. It's out of my hands."

I read it. "No! Goddamn it! She can't go to the Muken! Shunsui do you have any fuckin' idea what'll happen to her if she's left alone like that? Why the fuck is she bein' punished?"

"Do you have anything that will get her out of this? Her taking revenge for the recent torture wasn't enough, only enough to drop the sentence from fifty years to twenty."

"She's likely pregnant. She's been in heat the past week and we've done nothin' but fuck. She refused to take her pill either. And I ordered her to kill him since he was stalkin' her!"

"That might work. It'll hold them off anyway...how is she?"

"She hasn't said anythin' or moved." I sigh.

I lead him to the bedroom and she's still in the same position. On her right side, her arms holdin' a pillow against her chest, starin' at the wall. Shunsui brushes by me and lays himself down, jerkin' the pillow out of her hands so she has to look at him. "Hey, kiddo. You gotta snap outta this."

Nothin'. Not even a blink. Shunsui pulls her into his arms. "Harmona, they're going to put you in the Muken, baby. You've gotta pull out of this! Your kids need you!"

Still nothin'. Shunsui starts singin' that song he sang her the other day. Finally, she's cryin'. Shunsui keeps singing, gently rockin' her like he would a child. She's been almost catatonic for hours now. Nothin' I said or did could bring her out of it. I feel a hint of jealousy at him, but he's known her a helluva lot longer than me. When the song finishes she takes a deep, shuddering breath and wraps her arms around him. "You'll always be my dad but he was my daddy. I don't know why killing him hurts so much but it does." she whimpers.

"You loved him even though he hurt you."

She nods her head, chokin' back a sob. "He told me the truth before I finished him. About Jushiro."

"He'd have been so proud of you. He died proud to call you his daughter even though he never was allowed to treat you like his kid."

"I don't understand why this happened. Did I really deserve that as a kid?"

"No. You didn't. Will you be ok now?"

"I think so. I just want to sleep for a little while."

I sit in my usual spot on the bed and Shusui passes her over. "I need to go put another word in with central forty six and try to get this stopped. Are you willing to make a statement that she was under order to kill him for stalking her and the kids?"

"More than willin'. They ain't takin' my wife." I growl.

He nods. "I'll do what I can. Harmona, try to rest. It'll be ok. We're here for you."

He leaves quickly and Harmona curls into a ball like she was before. I pull her against my body and kiss her shoulers. "I'm proud of you, woman."

She starts cryin' again so I do what I can to comfort her by holdin' her tight and kissin' anywhere I can. That's one battle down. Now for that demon. We get rid of him and she might start healin' finally....

I wake up and she's gone. I panic and race out the door, lettin' out a sigh of relief when I see her in the hamock before joinin' her. She pushes herself back against me before grabbin' my arm and holdin' it hostage. "Sorry to make you worry. I couldn't sleep so thought I'd come out here." she says queitly.

"What's goin' on in that head of yours, woman?"

"I just...I'm confused. I hated him with everything in me. I was terrified of him in every cell. But now I'm sad that I killed him. I don't know, maybe it's because he was the last link I had to my past aside from Shunsui but Shunsui doesn't know all the horrors."

"Well, it's time to let it go. You got your revenge and I've never been so damn proud to call you my wife." I say before slidin' my hand down to her belly and rubbin'. She, of course, smacks my hand.

"Stop it! You're making me paranoid!"

"Why? I like you bein' pregnant. You've given me a new kink, woman. I like that belly round."

"If you say it so help me I will murder you!" she hisses.

"What?"

"I do not waddle like a fucking duck!"

I smirk. "Nah, more like a penguin. A beautiful blue penguin. The hell kinda sound does a penguin make?"

"I'm pretty sure they screech or something."

"Not a penguin then. A goose. With a really nice ass."

"I don't shit everywhere!"

"You're so fuckin' picky!"

"Fine. I'm a duck."

"Quack."

She fuckin' elbows me. "Shut up!"

****Harmona POV****

I stand in the central room of the Central 46, my hands behind my back, not at ease.

"Tell us, wife of Captain Zaraki, why should your sentence be refused? You killed a previous captain, thought to be dead for two hundred years, much like yourself, in a manner that was brutal and unnecessarily cruel. We have heard from Head Captain Kyorakou about the stalking but this seems extreme for something as simple as that." one of the men asks.

"Captain Mori...well, I was raised to believe he was my father. However, DNA tests done by Captain Kurotsuchi have proven that was false. In short, Captain Mori abused me until the age of ten. Daily beating from the age of one year, nailing my sandals to my feet, cutting my throat, drowning me, you name it, that man did it. Also, the recent torture that nearly took my life. I acted on the orders of my captain for my own safety and the safety of our two children." I reply confidently.

"Is there any other reason?"

"I have reason to believe that I am pregnant again."

"I see. We have heard many rumors that you and Zaraki enjoy marital relations a little too well." a woman chuckles.

I blush and look at my feet. "Your honors, I really have no excuse for killing him other than needing freedom. My mind has never been right due to the abuse and I acted on it too gleefully, wanting that man to experience my pain. However...even as terrible of a father that he was, I was saddened by his death. It's very confusing to me."

They're silent for a few moments until another man speaks. "I believe she should be excused. Looking over the documents that were provided by Head Captain Kyorakou and knowing that she was under orders from her captain, she did no wrong. However, this will be the last time you may kill anything but a Hollow without escaping the Muken. Do you understand, Harmona Zaraki? You have a history if killing innocent souls spanning back since you went missing two hundred years ago. It will not be tolerated any longer."

"I understand. I won't kill again....well, except maybe animals when I need food on a mission. Is that alright?"

"Animals are fine but nothing else except Hollows."

"I understand."

"You are dismissed. Take care, Wolf of Zaraki. And congratulations, if you are indeed pregnant." another female says, sounding cheerful.

"Thank you." I say before turning and hightailing it out of the room. I don't like it. Not one bit. They know damn good and well I'll kill someone...wait, maybe that's the goal here. They want me to fuck up. I'll show them...

"Hey, she's back!"

"Hey, Wolf! You give em a good bitch fest, did ya!?"

"Captain Zaraki just left for a captain's meeting. Come on over here and tell us what happened!"

I smile at the men and shrug. "I guess they were afraid that if they locked me up, Captain would go nuts and kill them all." I tease.

"Yeah, he probably would...really though, are you ok? You look kinda pale." Maki Maki says.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just...nevermind. It's nothing. Just a big change to get used to, not having to look over my shoulder anymore." I say, rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

"Hey, it's ok. You accomplished more than most of us men do in our lives. Be proud of who you are and how strong you've become. Your very blood lines are enough to be proud of." he says coming a little closer and patting me on the head. "Come on. Let's play some cards."

I nod and swallow back the grief that his words have brought from the pit of my stomach. I want to cry again. I hate crying. Crying is so....weak and lame. "Thanks, Maki Maki. Let's play."

****Kenpachi POV****

It's after dark when I get back to the barracks finally. Stupid meetin' took for ever. Waste of my time. Completely. I pause in the gate, watchin' Harmona on the other side of a huge bonfire in the middle of the barracks. She's hidin' it well, smilin' and jokin' with the men, but her eyes don't share the happiness. She's still fucked up in the head from killin' Mori yesterday. But she's still here so they musta let her off with a warnin'. I get closer and she looks at me finally, givin' me a small smile. I don't like it so I sit next to her and pull her into my lap. She wiggles until she gets comfortable.

"Thanks." she says.

"For what?"

"I just was thinking about how nice it would be to have my husband let me sit on him and cuddle." she teases.

"So, what's the verdict?"

"No Muken unless I kill again. Even if I'm under orders, I'm not allowed to kill anything but a Hollow."

"Fair enough."

She kisses my bicep before layin' her head on me. "I love you."

"You didn't sleep last night. Sleep, Wolf."

"Don't wanna."

I sigh irritably. "Why?"

"I just don't. I just want held and to enjoy this nice fire. I'll sleep later."

"Wolf-"

"Please, Kenpachi...I don't want to sleep right now."

I hear somethin' in her voice and decide to let her be. Fightin' with her right now is a bad idea. Instead, I gently rock her from side to side. It'll work, probably quickly.

"Captain, she's out." Yumichika leans over and says after a few minutes.

"Looks like the kids are too." Arimaki observes. "Do you want some help getting them home, sir?"

"I got her. Far as the kids go, yeah, I could use a little help." I sigh before rollin' onto my knees and gettin' my feet under me. Harmona curls into me, buryin' her nose in my neck since I'm supportin' her ass with my arms. Sometimes, she really is like a kid. I remember holdin' Yachiru like this when she was little. As I get her into the house she whimpers a little but doesn't wake as I get her in bed. Yumichika and Arimaki take the kids to their room across the hall and get them tucked in for the night.

"Night, Captain." Yumichika gives me a nod before leavin'. Arimaki simply waves, closin' the door behind him.

"Pachi...don't leave me. I'm sorry!" she whimpers.

I strip her down, leavin' her panties on for once before I get my uniform off and climb in bed beside her. "I'm not goin' anywhere."

"That's what mommy said too. And Uki. They didn't come back."

"I'm not goin' anywhere." She starts cryin' in her sleep and I pull her against me, kissin' her. "I'm not your parents, Wolf. I'm not goin' anywhere. Not without you."

"It's my fault."

"What is?"

"If I'd stayed here, they'd still be alive. I'm a bad daughter....Okami has to be broken."

"What?"

"To kill me."

No....why is she tellin' me this? Is she suicidal like she was in the past? I won't allow it. I pull her closer to me and shake her a little. She opens an eye. "Hmm? Did I fall asleep?"

"Wolf, tell me you're not suicidal. Right now." I order.

She blinks and sits up. "I'm not. I mean I'm not in a good place mentally but I don't want to die. Not right now anyway. Why?"

"You told me to break Okami to kill you."

"I did? I don't know....wait a minute! I've never told anybody that!"

I'm on her in an instant, pinnin' her arms to the bed and her body with mine. "Tell me the truth."

"No. I'm not suicidal. I promise. I couldn't do that to you or the twins. I don't know why I said that but keep it to yourself. That's the biggest secret I have."

I see no lie in her eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. "I won't say a word."

She smiles at me and, like the cheeky damn brat she is, encourages me into heathen activities for a couple hours. Activities that would make Kuchiki red like a beet. Fuck does it feel good though.


	30. Chapter 30

***Harmona - Dream***

I watch Zaraki with his two flunkies, growling softly any time they look my way. It's been ten months since he brought me to the Seireitei and I'm slowly learning to trust him. However, I hate everyone else. They're all idiots. They try to pet me, I bite them. They try to talk to me and I chase them away. Zaraki thinks it's funny but I'm not doing it for laughs. People annoy me.

"Happy birthday, Captain!" the men yell, bringing a huge brown cake slathered in more brown stuff from the mess hall to where he is sitting on the office porch. Yuck. It looks like mud. As they gather I remain under the cherry tree but turn my back on them. I'm used to not being accepted so why act like I want to be. I listen to the festivities irritably.

Suddenly Zaraki sits in front of my nose, holding out something orange in his hand. I sniff it before turning my head. I've never eaten this before and not really willing to try either. Zaraki chuckles and, before I have time to react, he pries my jaws open and shoves the thing in. It's a little slimy but very sweet. I decide to humor him and chew it before swallowing and laying my head back on my legs. He holds another piece out. "Come on. Your belly is growlin'."

I eye him before gently taking the piece of fruit and eating it. This pattern continues for a few minutes until he runs out of this....whatever it is. "Sorry. No more mango." he chuckles. I bite his hand before getting up and retreating away from him, heading straight for the porch of his house. I climb under it, laying back far enough that nobody can reach me should they try...

I sneak into Zaraki's house. Baldy left the door open when the doctor lady came. "He's got this virus. He's running a high fever and he's in a coma right now. Here, give him two of these every six hours. They're fever meds."

"But how's he s'posed to take them?"

"Oh, they melt on the tongue. Don't worry. Just keep him naked and bundled up in the blankets. I'll come check on him tomorrow morning."

"Thanks...damn, that means I gotta take care of his pet out there. That's gunna suck."

"Why's that?"

"That brute only trusts Zaraki. Won't let anyone else near him."

"Well, just leave him food and water. He'll be ok, I'm sure."

"Yeah, probably."

I hide myself as they get ready to come out of the bedroom. Once they're gone, I go into Zaraki's room. He smells weak and sick right now. I sniff along his chest until finally getting to his neck. My mouth opens, something inside me telling me to kill him while he's down but...I can't. That would be cowardly. I sigh and hop in bed with him, curling up between his legs with my body on his. Perhaps my body heat will help balance him out. Since he's in a coma, I don't suppose it will hurt to...well, nevermind. If I fall asleep and someone sneaks in, my secret will be out...

His skin on mine as he sleeps is making me hot. I want him but he wouldn't want me. He hasn't said anything in the three weeks I've been out of my wolf form. Sure, he lays with me and holds me and his penis stays hard but...that doesn't mean anything. I roll to face him and bury my face in his neck, smiling as he lets out a small snore in his sleep. For some reason, I trust him, instinct telling me to. His arms crush me to his chest suddenly and he mumbles. "Mine."

****Awake****

My eyes open as Zaraki grumbles in his sleep and crushes me to his side. I smile a little and kiss his chest. Only when I'm startled by a smack to my back to I realize Takeshi has snuck into bed with us. He smiles at me when I glance over my shoulder at him before he lowers himself off the end of the bed and toddles back to the nursery. He's been cuddly the past couple weeks. I'm not quite sure why but I don't mind it.

I land on my back as Zaraki rolls over and puts his hand on my belly. "Go test." he orders before kissing me.

"Kenpachi, will you stop? I'm not getting sick in the mornings like I did with the twins so I'm not pregnant." I sigh.

"Isane said that can happen. Go test for me." he grumbles before kissing my cheek and neck.

"I'm not going anywhere if you don't stop, sir." I laugh.

"Dada!" Michiko screams before running through the door and climbing in bed with us. She wedges herself between Zaraki and myself and grabs his arm, holding it captive.

"I think she likes you." I laugh.

Zaraki lifts his arm, Michiko included as she has a death grip on it. "You think?"

I sigh and climb over him, heading for the bathroom. I really don't want to test. I already know it's negative. However, I pee on the strip Kotetsu gave me anyway and wait. As I wait I stare at myself in the mirror over the sink. I look terrible. Dark circles under my eyes giving me the look of a zombie, skin more pale than usual. It's been getting worse the past six weeks after killing Mori. The nightmares are back in full swing, though my demon isn't to blame for once. It's all my mind sinking in that my parents died and it's my fault for not being here. I know it's silly but...my heart hurts so much, knowing I was so close to my father without even realizing he was my father.

I glance at the strip and do a double take before smiling. Well, this will put getting the demon out of me off for a few months. I exit the bathroom and find him alone, the kids screeching playfully in their room. He takes one look at my smile and grins. "Duck again, huh?"

"Oh to hell with your duck fantasies, you weirdo!" I growl before pouncing on him and kissing him. "This is all your fault."

"My fault? Tch. You're the one that can't keep these legs closed against me." he groans softly as he cups the back of my thigh, tracing it upwards and causing me to grind against him. "I'm addicted to your body, woman."

I kiss him gently. "I love you so much, Kenpachi."

"Hey...what's wrong?"

"Hmm?"

"Woman, the past six weeks you've been in a damn daze. Your eyes are lifeless."

"I...I just wish the past was different, that's all. I miss them both. Terribly." I sigh.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me down onto his chest. "I never had parents so I can't say I know how you feel. However, you know you can talk to me. Even if it's weakling, mushy, sappy shit, I'll still listen."

Just for that, I pinch him really hard on his side. This leads us into a wrestling match, which the twins join, thus creating a huge pile of bodies tangled up on the bed. I smell Ikkaku at some point and I'm quite sure I hear the squeak of his finger as he scratches his bald head in confusion.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch the twins chasin' the men. They're playin' pretty good lately. I think maybe in the next year it'll be time to start trainin' them. Harmona is sleepin', again. I don't understand how she can sleep so damn much and still be tired. Isane says it's depression. I think it's that and the pregnancy. She has yet to go see Isane and it's been two weeks since she tested. I rub her belly, since we're in the hammock and she's layin' between my legs, layin' back on my chest. She's already startin' to show a little.

"What is it with you and my belly?" she asks quietly.

"I like it."

"Sorry for nodding off again. I'm just exhausted."

"You need to go see Isane and get a check up."

"Don't wanna."

"Wolf, the baby needs looked at too."

She sighs. "I don't know if I can make it that far. Just walking from the bedroom to the hammock was exhausting."

I frown. "That ain't normal."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"On your feet, woman. I'll go with you."

She groans irritably. "Why are you so worried!?"

"Because you ain't actin' right. You can barely stay awake long enough to eat anymore even. Let's go. On your feet."

She finally rolls out of the hammock and starts walkin'. I follow her to the stairs when she suddenly goes down like a sack of potatoes. I flip her over on her back and check her pulse. It's fast and erractic. What in the hell is goin' on? I lift her in my arms and head for the infirmary. Somethin' is very wrong with her.

*************

I watch Isane do the picture thing she did before with the twins. "Well? What the hell is wrong with her?"

"To put it simply, she's exhausted for good reason. She's not eating enough, her iron levels are super low right now and, to put the icing on the cake, she's pregnant."

"She took a test two weeks ago, so I already-"

"Two weeks? And you didn't think to make her come in? Are you stupid?"

I smirk. "Gettin' mouthy huh?"

She blushes. "Sorry. I've been feeling a little off lately too."

I watch the screen as she moves the wand around. "Well?"

"Nine weeks roughly and...oh shit. Kenpachi, you two really need to quit having sex. Seriously. She's extremely fertile obviously!"

"I figured that but-"

"Three, Kenpachi! There's three!"

"I ain't worried about how many. I'm worried about if they're healthy and why she passed out like that."

"They look normal for nine weeks. How is her appetite?"

"She's not eatin' much. She's barely able to stay awake to eat."

Isane nods and cleans Harmona off before goin' to the cabinets and bringin' me two big bottles of pills. "Vitamins. Two pills, twice a day. They're chewy and taste like fruit. If she doesn't start getting more energy in the next week, she's to come back here and I'm going to keep her here for monitoring. That's final."

I nod. "Fair enough. What about her heart rate?"

"She's dehydrated. That's why I put an IV in. Has she not been drinking either?"

"I wasn't kiddin' when I said she sleeps all the time. Hell, I'm lucky to get her awake for an hour total each day."

"That's not good. Try the vitamins. If that doesn't work then for her own good I need to keep her for a few days to do some tests. For now, just take her home and keep an eye on her. Try to get her awake to eat."

"Pachi, don't go. I don't wanna be alone..." Harmona mumbles.

"Does she always talk in her sleep?" Isane asks.

"Not always. She used to do it a lot more than she does now."

"I see. How's her moods?"

"She told me she's depressed. She feels like her mom and biological dad's deaths are her fault because she wasn't here to help. I keep tellin' her nothin' would've changed even if she'd been here."

"Try to distract her. Find her a hobby or something."

"Her hobby is the same as mine. She likes fightin'."

"Well, not in her condition. Same as before, she can exercise but no sparring."

"I'll figure somethin' out."

****Harmona POV****

I chew the two vitamins and yawn. I'm feeling a little better today than I did yesterday but Zaraki is really starting to worry me. He doesn't even leave me alone to pee anymore after yesterday. He told me Kotetsu said two of these pills twice a day. "I think I'm ready to try to eat." I sigh.

"Good. It's lunch time anyway." Zaraki says, seeming relieved.

"Kenpachi...what's wrong? You've been really weird since yesterday."

"Just worried about you."

"Why won't you tell me what else she said? I know you told her I'm pregnant and she confirmed it most likely."

"She told me to find you a hobby to distract you when you're depressed."

"That's not all. You've been hovering like a hen. What else?"

"Nothin'."

"You stink."

"She said they look good." he shrugs.

"They? So I'm having twins again?"

"No."

"You said they. That means more than one, right?"

He holds up three fingers. I stare at him for a minute. "We'll need another bedroom."

"You think? We could always convert the attic, I guess."

"Attic? We have an attic?"

"Yeah."

I wrinkle my nose. "It's probably covered in spiders and shit."

"Yep, lots of icky nasty bugs." He agrees, teasing me by tickling my arm and making me shiver. "Don't worry, I won't put any on you."

"If you do so help me I will kill you." I growl.

"Why do you hate bugs so damn much?"

I frown, not really wanting to answer before deciding I need to get it out of my head. Renji was right. I need to stop carrying this burden on my own. "When I was two, Mori threw me in an old broom closet in the squad ten barracks. There was all sorts of spiders. Most of them venomous. I was bitten five times before someone heard my screaming and let me out of there....I've been afraid of bugs ever since."

He frowns. "I see. Well, don't worry. I won't make you go help with renovations. In fact, I was thinkin' of sending you on holiday for a couple weeks so you won't be around all the dust and shit that'll get kicked up."

"Holiday to where?"

"Figured you could stay with Kisuke again or maybe Orihime."

"I don't wanna-"

He grabs my cheeks and forces me to lock eyes with him. "Harmona, enough. Nothin' is gunna happen to you again. Mori is dead. You're a strong woman and I know you can take care of yourself. You don't need to be by my side every second of every day."

My temper flares. "Don't call me that!" I snap before jerking my head away, grabbing my plate and going outside. I don't want to leave his side because that's the only place I feel safe. Everywhere else isn't safe. It's also not home to me. He's the one being clingy today. I eat the beef strips in my stir fry first, craving the meat. That's all I've craved for weeks now is meat. Zaraki told me my iron levels were low so probably just that. It's making me a little nervous, really. I won't admit it to Zaraki but lately, all I've felt is blood lust. I need to kill something...I'll sneak out later and go hunting.

Zaraki comes and sits beside me on the porch. "What's your problem?"

"I don't want to go because I don't like sleeping alone in a strange bed that doesn't smell like you, alright? Why can't I go stay with Shunsui? At least then I can still smell you around the city and see you."

"You need a fuckin' vacation, numb skull."

"No, I don't. I don't want one either."

"Why the hell not?"

"Please, don't send me away. It bothers me, alright?"

"Why?"

"I just...you know what? Nevermind. If you want me to go, fine." I sigh, trying to hold back the bad feeling in my gut...

After Zaraki gets the twins in bed and asleep, using yet another bloody tale of his exploits no doubt, he comes back to our room. Before I can make a peep, he pounces on me, kissing me roughly. When he surfaces for air, he grabs my head again. "What the hell is your problem with goin' on vacation, woman?"

"I don't like being without you. I feel safe with you." I sigh. "If you want me to go, I'll go."

He eyes me critically. "What else?"

"Noth-"

"What else, damn it?"

"I'm afraid you'll replace me, alright? Now that I've killed Mori, I don't have any goal in my life, therefore I'm as useless as a paperweight in the ocean."

"Replace you? With what? Some fuckin' whore outta the Rukongai? One of the tiny little mice runnin' around here that can't handle my reiatsu? A slutty broad that just wants a notch in the bedpost?" he snarls. "Do you know how many woman have tried to catch my attention over the years? Too many to count. Do you know how many I actually wanted? One. You, you damn idiot. You're the strongest damn woman I've ever met, aside from your mom. I wasn't a notch in your damn bedpost. You married me, birthed kids for me and now have three more of my demon spawn in your belly. I don't want anyone else."

"But-"

"Shut the hell up, woman. You're pissin' me off." he snaps before rolling with his back to me. I wait until he finally settles in to sleep before sneaking out. He never sleeps with his back to me so I've really pissed him off. I decide now is the time to go take care of the blood lust I'm feeling. My demon laughs. He'll have fun too.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's gone when I wake up to take a piss. She better be walkin' it off. I know I was a little harsh with her earlier but damnit, I don't know what I need to do to prove to that fuckin' moron that I don't want another woman. I decide to check on the kids, since I'm up anyway. They're sleepin' pretty good, though Takeshi's foot twitches a little. Must be dreamin' The kid reminds me of a dog doin' that. Harmona does it in her sleep sometimes. Speakin' of...I'm beginnin' to get worried. Accordin' to the clock, it's two in the mornin'. She shouldn't be out there right now.

****Harmona POV****

"You shouldn't be out here, Mrs. Zaraki." Princess Kuchiki whispers from behind me.

I glare at him over my shoulder then go back to watching the heard of deer in front of me. Kuchiki doesn't leave, though he uses shunpo to climb the tree beside me, perching himself on the limb above me. I finally pick one, an older doe with a limp. Time to take her down. I hunker down, waiting for her to get a little closer. I don't know why Byakuya is out here, considering the time, but I'm not going to worry about it. Maybe he has his own trouble sleeping.

I spring from my hiding spot, giving chase to the doe. She manages to run about two hundred yards before I overtake her, pouncing on her back and breaking it with a bite. I don't leave her suffering long, choosing to break her neck with another bite.

"Why?" Kuchiki asks, seeming perplexed.

I ignore him for a moment as I start gutting the deer, blood flying.

"Does your husband not see you fed?" he asks after I decimate the corpse.

I shift, ignoring the blood on my face as I face him. "Blood lust. Us animals get it sometimes. Why are you even here? You hate me so why spend time here and in the middle of the night?"

He shifts on his feet. "I tend to stay up on nights when I feel as though there will be a problem."

I smirk. "You get nightmares too, huh?"

He doesn't answer, instead asking his own. "Why do you kill so easily?"

"Killing satisfies my need for violence. I don't enjoy it but it's either that or kill more people when I lose control of my demon. I'm not exactly normal."

"I see."

I raise my eyebrow. "So, why follow me?"

"To see what devilry you were up to. I'm glad to be wrong for once, though your need for violence is off setting to me. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't be so barbaric."

I laugh. "Yeah, I get that a lot. But, as Yamamoto told me once, a sword is both beautiful and deadly, beauty has nothing to do with barbarism...course I nearly killed him leading to him saying that." I shrug.

He steps closer and holds a handkerchief out to me. "You're covered in blood. While I know your husband wouldn't mind, I do."

I sigh and clean my face to make him happy. He shakes his head when I try to hand it back. "Thanks...so, now what will you do?"

"You're a berserker, aren't you?

I tilt my head. "What gives you that idea?"

"Blood lust is usually attributed to them. Even your husband has never seemed to have it, though many people would claim he does. I've seen his fights, so I know it's not that. You, however...I've seen your spars with Renji. When blood is drawn, either from you or him, your face changes. It's a predatory look, almost evil."

"I ask you again, what are you going to do now?"

He steps closer to me and I step back, my senses telling me to get away from him. This stops him. "A berserker who's afraid of people. Interesting. Seeing this fear in you, I will do nothing. Had you stood your ground, I would have killed you and dragged your carcass back to the Seireitei for burial since you are a threat. I assume you sensed my intent?"

"I guess you can call it that. However...killing me is no simple task. Read my file sometime. I should get home. I'm sure my husband will be on the hunt for me if he wakes and I'm not home."

"I'll walk with you, if you don't min-"

Panic. I feel it. Something is wrong with him. He's never this nice to me. I shift and run for it, knowing damn good and well he can keep up with me. I've seen him move with shunpo. He's faster though not by much. However, he doesn't follow me.

***Kenpachi POV***

Harmona runs into the barracks like her tail is on fire. The hell is wrong? She bypasses the house and goes to her tree. I get up from the hammock and head that way. By the time I get there she's layin' down, tucked into a tight ball, hyperventilatin'. I don't wanna scare her so I sit next to her and hope she'll calm down.

It takes awhile but finally she relaxes a little and lays her head in my lap. I pull her ear gently. "Come on. Too early for this shit." She shifts and crawls into my lap, layin' her head on my chest. "What happened?"

"I went hunting. I was mad from earlier and just needed to be violent and you won't let me spar so decided that was the next best thing. Princess Kuchiki followed me out there and spoke to me a little afterwards and...something about him triggered me to panic. He was being too nice to me."

"Want me to kick his ass?"

"No. Just....hold me. Please."

"It's a little chilly out here. Let's go home."

I don't give her time to move, instead just roll to my feet and bring her with me. When I get inside the house, I strip her down and put her under the blanket before gettin' naked too. I join her under the blanket and she snuggles up against me. I rub her belly, givin' her time to settle down.

"Kenpachi....Kuchiki knows."

"Knows what?"

"That I'm a berserker. He threatened to kill me until he noticed I was afraid of him."

My hand stops and my temper spikes. "That son of a bitch. I'll deal with him tomorrow. From now on, when you need to go deal with your anger, you take me or Ikkaku."

"But I feel safest with Yumichika when I'm not with you."

"He doesn't have a bankai."

"You knew?"

"Course I knew. I just pretend I don't cause when he finally shows me, it'll be a good battle. Same if you ever show me that damn monster Renji saw."

"Never."

"Sissy."

My hand starts movin' again, rubbin' between her hips. She slowly melts, the tension drainin' from her muscles as she calms down. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You know I'd never cheat on you so quit lettin' that rat inside you try to fuck up your head."

"I know you wouldn't. I honestly don't even know why I said it."

"I love you. Now sleep. I'm sendin' Yumichika with you to Kisuke's at the end of the week. I'll get the attic fixed up to a zoo for the munchkins as quick as I can."

She nods. "Alright."

I kiss her and shift my body closer to her. "Sleep, Wolf. You're safe. I wont let the princess or any spiders get you."

She smacks my thigh with a laugh before finally closin' her eyes. I keep rubbin' until sleep takes over. I don't want to send her at all but I can't have her here tryin' to help and I know damn good and well there's spiders up there.


	31. Chapter 31

"Welcome back, Harmona! Now, you come right in here and rest. Renji and Yumichika, since there's only the two of you this time, you can crash here too, I suppose." Kisuke says before turning and walking back into his store.

"I still don't see why your captain sent you. I've been her best friend slash body guard since last year." Yumichika grumbles.

"My captain just told me to follow her and keep her out of trouble. It's kinda weird lately. He's very concerned with what she's doing and why." Renji sighs.

"He figured something out about me. It worried him. That's all." I shrug, following Kisuke inside.

"Kazui seemed super happy to have new friends to play with." Yumichika chuckles.

"Michiko is gunna beat him up. Just wait. She's more like Zaraki than me. It's kinda scary." I say before sitting down against a wall. Yumichika sits next to me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Wolf, I'm not a pillow." he grumbles.

"No, you're not. Maybe I should've brought Rangiku. She's got a nice set of pillows."

"Are you insane?!"

"Maybe. Who knows?"

"So, have you thought about-"

"Yes, Kisuke. I'm going to let you do the soul chain thingy to get my demon out. However, it'll have to wait a few more months. I'm not taking any risks while I'm pregnant." I sigh.

"Wow, you and Zaraki really do enjoy eachother too much, don't you?" Renji laughs.

"The problem is knowing when it happened." I mumble.

"What do you mean?" Kisuke asks.

"Well....look, this can't get back to Kurotsuchi no matter what."

"No, of course not. Mayuri and I have a business relationship, if that. Nothing else."

"There was an incident a few days before I killed Mori. Mayuri made a collar for me that was supposed to strip all my emotions away until I killed him. It didn't. It amplified the anger into a rage. I lost control, prompting Zaraki to use his bankai to stop me. However, one he pulled the collar off it electrocuted him so he went berserk."

"And?"

"And he tried to kill me but his cleaver only cut my shihakushou off. Once that fell, he...well, let's just say things got a little hot and violent." I blush.

The men stare at me for a moment or two before Kisuke speaks up. "Are you saying you and Zaraki had sex while he was in his bankai?"

"Yeah."

"Oh hell. Mayuri would be all over this kid if he found out."

"There's three."

"Three? Holy shit, sis! Can't you just have one like normal people!?" Renji coughs.

"Apparently...wait a minute." Kisuke says before running off. He comes back with a large book. "Before I was banished, I tried to research on the werewolves in Soul Society. Most of them were very violent and not willing to talk but there were a couple that let me speak with them. I remember one of them saying that their females always bore more than one child at a time. It's genetics, basically. However, since you aren't a werewolf, it shouldn't be like that with you."

"I have werewolf blood, thanks to Mayuri."

"But it's not the same I don't think. Anyway, you're right though. Mayuri would have a field day. There's never been an incident like this. In fact, it was always said that if a captain with bankai had sex while in bankai, the reiatsu would burn the woman from the inside and make her unable to bear children."

I wince. "Great, so I'm weird."

"You say that like you didn't already know it." Yumichika teases.

"Oh, put a cork in it, Yumichika!"

****Kenpachi POV****

Ikkaku and I take a break, havin' cleaned the attic along with some of the rookies. There's more space up here than I realized. Hell, I could have Ikkaku build stairs up here instead of havin' this stupid ladder. That'd be easiest, probably. There's so much room up here, really, I could put a wall up, dividin' it into two rooms, one for boys the other for girls...dependin' on what she has this time. The twin's room downstairs is pretty big but two kids in it is the limit. Up here, I can make the rooms big enough for the kids to play in but also have room for their toys.

"Captain!"

I glance at Ikkaku. "What?"

"Your soul pager, sir. It's been ringing. Lost in thought?"

"Figurin' space out."

"I've got it all worked out. Don't worry. Talk to Wolf." he says before gettin' back to his feet.

I answer the next ring. "You get there safe?"

"Of course I did. What did you expect, me to go off on a rampage and slaughter the cleaner or something?" she teases.

"Wouldn't put it past you."

"Hey!"

I laugh at her. "How're you feelin' today?"

"Tired still but I think the vitamins are helping a bit. Kisuke is making a big deal out of something I said so he's off on a science tangent. I can't understand half of what he's saying. Yumichika and Renji are down in the training room sparring."

"I didn't ask about everyone else. I asked how you were."

"Homesick."

"Does it bother you to be away from me that damn bad?"

"No. Guess not. I gotta go. I'll call you later."

She clicks off before I can try to stop her. I sigh and get back to work. Women are such a pain sometimes. She'll be ok. Although, if I'm bein' honest I miss her too. "Ikkaku, let's get a wall up runnin' lengthwise today."

"You got it! You hear him, men!"

****Harmona POV****

I watch Renji and Yumichika. I haven't called and have refused to answer calls from Zaraki, forcing him to call Yumichika instead. I'm being weak by admitting I miss him so I refuse to speak to him unless it's in person. I'm not weak. Yumichika is getting irritated with what he calls my childishness but I won't talk about my emotions anymore. Emotions are a weakness.

My soul pager pings again but it's an alert this time, not a call. I look at it and dart up the stairs. There's a Hollow close to the center of Karakura town....

I make it in time and the squad thirteen idiot who's on his month long guardianship of this town is in a heap off to the side. I shake him and he groans but doesn't wake. Pathetic. The Hollow roars and chases the soul of a young girl, probably a teenager. Piece of cake. I charge forward and slice through it's mask easily as it lunges for the soul. As it disappears, I turn to her, eyeing the small bit of chain hanging from her chest.

"Thank you! I was so scared!" she whimpers.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Kai. I don't know whats wrong. Nobody can see or speak to me, except you and that cute guy that got beat up earlier."

"You're dead, that's why. Most people can't see or hear souls. Just soul reapers and rarely humans with strong souls themselves."

"Soul reapers? They're real?"

"I am one. So is that guy you called cute over there."

"Oh...what're you-"

"I'm going to send you on to the other side, kid. The more time you spend here, the more likely you are to become like that monster. That's what happens to souls that don't move on. They turn into Hollows."

"I don't want to go! I don't want to go to Hell."

"Hell? Why would you go there?"

"My parents always said that's where I belong!" she cries.

I frown. "Kai, you're not going to Hell. I promise. You're going to the Soul Society. There's lots of other souls there and it's lots better than around here. No bills to pay, you don't have to worry about being hungry. Trust me."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not at all. Just close your eyes."

She does as I've asked and I put the end of Okami's hilt on her forehead, causing a stamp to glow before she disappears. I turn my attention to the squad 13 idiot. He's got a nasty goose egg on his head. "Oi, wake up." I say, kicking him in the hip.

"Ow!" he grunts. He opens an eye and, seeing me, immediately stands. "Oh shit! You're Zaraki's wife!"

"No, really? You just figure that out?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I hit it but the counter attack was too much. I'm...sort of new out of the academy. I wasn't supposed to even be sent here but the chick that was supposed to go came down with a stomach virus and they sent me instead."

"You're an idiot." I sigh before turning. "Get back to your post. I won't be saving your ass again, kid."

****Kenpachi POV****

"The fuck do you mean, she's not there?" I snarl.

"She went out earlier and hasn't come back yet." Yumichika says. I hear Renji hollar in the background.

"The hell-"

"She just came in."

"You put her on the phone right now, Yumichika."

I can hear an argument and then Renji's face appears on the screen. "Uh...she's not going to come on the phone. I don't know what her deal is, Captain Zaraki but she seems mad at you the past couple days."

"I don't give a flyin' fuck what she says. Put her on the damn phone. Now, Renji." I hiss.

Another argument before her face is in front of me. "The hell do you want, Captain? I don't want to talk to you so make it quick."

"Woman, what the hell is wrong with you? You're avoidin' me."

"Nothing. I told you what was wrong the other day and you threw it up in my face so not a damn thing is wrong with me. Go back to whatever you're doing."

"Wolf, I will come down there and smack the lips off your damn face. Talk to me."

"No. I don't want to. I'm weak and stupid, not worth your time. Just finish whatever you're doing so we can come home."

"If you're gunna act like that I don't want you home, you damn bitch."

"Fine."

She clicks off...oh shit. Why the fuck did I say that? I know how callin' her that hurts her. Damn it. I don't have time for this right now.

****Harmona POV****

"Mama!" Michiko yells before pouncing on me. I hold her to me tightly before grabbing Takeshi too.

"Hey, Wolfie! You look...kinda sad. Is everything alright?" Orihime asks.

"It will be. I'm... headed back to the Seireitei."

"Wow, Kenny is a fast builder, isn't he?"

"No, he's not done....if anyone comes looking for me, tell them to look where I was buried. If they're smart, they'll figure it out."

"Harmona, wait a minute. You're making me worry." Ichigo says coming around the corner.

"It's nothing. Just...tell them that. Thanks for watching these two. I appreciate it." I sigh.

Ichigo puts his hand on my shoulder. "We're here for you, you know that. If something's wrong, you can talk."

"It's nothing. I promise, I'm ok."

I step out into the night before he can say anything else. I head for the beach before opening an Senkaimon. The twins giggle in delight as we race through the Dangai. I leap out as we get to the end. District 80 hasn't changed much...

***Kenpachi POV***

I crush the soul pager in my hand, ignoring the little shocks it sends into my palm. That goddamn hard headed idiot. "Ikkaku."

"Sir?"

"I need you to find her file. I need to know all the places she was ever sent to on missions. Our Wolf has gone AWOL."

"But...she never went on missions, sir. Not even with Captain Yamamoto. Her file is void of any mission history."

"Keep workin'. I need to go see Shunsui."

"Got it. We should have everything done by tomorrow, since we're finishing up the flooring today."

"Good."

****Harmona POV****

I take down another deer before dragging it back to my cave. The twins are up and about, it sounds like, though I've kept the cave guarded by camouflaging the entrance with various vines and tree branches. Barely any light gets in. However, I can enter by parting those vines. It's taken a three months to get it how I want it but...it works. The kids scream happily when I shift and begin butchering the deer. It's gotten a little harder to hunt, as my belly is huge, but I still manage. Once the butchering is done, I light a fire outside and start cooking it. The kids come out too and start chasing each other before picking the wild blackberries and making a mess. I smirk and continue cooking. My thoughts turn to Zaraki. I wonder if he even misses me. I doubt it.

****Kenpachi POV****

I throw the rookie I'm tryin' to train against the wall, my kendo stick hittin' his throat. "Plant your goddamn feet." I growl before turnin'.

"Kenpachi! I figured it out!" Shunsui runs in, screamin' like a maniac. He slips on a puddle of blood and ends up slidin' across the floor and stoppin' at my feet. He fuckin' reeks of his sake. "She's in Zaraki! She killed Mori's doll there. Remember, she told me she buried herself the day she disappeared. I didn't put two and two together until Nanao reminded me."

"And?"

"And aren't you going to go get her?"

"Why? She doesn't want to be here or she'd have-"

"Kenpachi, you bone head! You told me what you said. She took it as an order! Go get her, you damn idiot!"

I stop to think and sigh. He's probably right. What a pain.

***Harmona POV***

The kids are bedded down. I've told them a story of some random knight killing a dragon and they seem content. Zaraki's kids, they are. I shift again and go outside to guard the entrance...

My head lifts as I catch a scent on the breeze. Zaraki. Here? Why? He told me he didn't want me home. I'd braced myself for it since meeting him face to face the first time but it had still hurt. Almost more than I was willing to bear but, for the sake of my children, I'd pushed the pain down and bore it. I watch as he breaks through the tree line and catches sight of me. The look on his face changes from boredom to happy to furious then blank again. I shift and cross my arms over my chest. "Go home, Captain. You don't belong here anymore. You told me you didn't want me to come back."

"Where are the twins?" he asks.

"Sleeping. Go home."

He steps closer to me. I glare at him but refuse to move until he's right in front of me. Then I let the firsts fly. The first one connects with his jaw, the next with his ribs. I'm letting them fly fast, hitting with as much strength as I can. My balance isn't the greatest but my speed hasn't changed much. However, he finally manages to catch my fist, using my momentum to knock me on my ass and pin me there with his knees on my hands. "Still a fuckin' spit fire, huh? Think that might be what I love about you the most." he growls before his eye roams down my belly. He hand starts caressing it through my kosode, beginning a flurry of kicks inside. "Come home, Wolf. I didn't mean what I said. I was pissed off at you avoidin' me and snapped."

"Why should I? I'm weak and clingy, apparently. Not the type of woman you want." I growl.

"Yeah, you're fuckin' clingy. It's fine. You are who you are. Now, get the kids and come the hell home."

"No."

"Don't make me do it."

"What?"

"Wolf, get the kids and come home." he orders.

"AHHH! Damn you!" I snarl. "I can't even lift my leg you kick you, you fucking ogre!"

He shifts so I can get up and it takes me a minute to roll before I can get my feet under me. "Waddle for me, little duck." he teases.

"Fuck you!"

"Oh, I plan on it. I'm fuckin' furious with you, woman. But not til we get home. I can't fuck you like I want to out here, especially not with that belly, which I figure is bigger than what it looks like, since your kosode is pretty baggy."

I stomp to the cave and retrieve the kids, thrusting them in his arms. They've gone through a growth spurt recently and it's harder to carry them both. However, with his big monkey arms, I feel sure he can handle it. Plus my back hurts so it'll be good to have the load off me for once. The twins seem overjoyed. Little does he know, however, I've been training them. So he'll have to watch out next time he goes to pick a play fight...

The twins screech and jump out of Zaraki's arms on seeing Ikkaku and Yumichika, who look equally surprised. I watch as the men swarm them. They yell their hellos to me though don't seem as enthusiastic. Zaraki pulls me home, his grip on my wrist firm and unyielding. Once inside he slams the door shut and gives me a shove through the bedroom door. I have to catch myself on the bed but he's right behind me. "Wolf, I have a bad desire to fight with you. To make you see why I love you. I can't right now though, because of this belly." he growls softly, stroking my stomach, getting kicked again. "I'm sorry for what I said."

"Who are you and where is my husband? He never says sorry for anything." I snap.

"Oh, I'm right here, Wolf. Not quite where I want to be though."

"Do you think sex solves everything?"

"No, but it's a good start. Don't lie, you missed me."

"Yes." I gasp as he unties my obi before caressing my breasts teasingly.

"You're leakin' already?"

"Apparently...oh, Kenpachi...don't tease."

"So, I found a certain bag in the closet while I was lookin' for somethin' the other day. There's a lot of things in there I'd love to see you in but maybe not until after you birth these pups of mine. However, I think, if you were willin', there's a pair of panties you could try on for me."

"I'd need a bath first."

"Do you want a bath?"

"Yes."

He lets me up and spins me, nearly knocking me over but he catches my arms again. "Thought so."

"What?"

He grins. "That damn belly is a lot bigger without you coverin' it up....looks like your timer is done though."

I swat his hand away from my belly button, that is now protruding. "Shut up, you."

"You're even rounder than last time. You look so good, Wolf." he chuckles.

"I said shut up!"

He turns and heads for the bathroom, turning the shower on. "Come on. Let's get you clean, wife. I'll give you a back rub while I'm at it. You're too tense."

"You had me at back rub!" And, indeed, he did catch my attention with the promise of a back rub. I need one.


	32. Chapter 32

Zaraki slowly starts massaging my back, letting the water come down over my head to get my hair wet. I'm slowly relaxing at his touch. "Left shoulder is kinda sore, if you'd be so kind." I moan when he finds the knot, slowly working it out.

"If you don't stop makin' that noise, I won't be able to finish."

His hands move lower, hitting the knot right above my hips. I tense for a second before I melt in his hands. His hands move to wash my hair, massaging my scalp. "Yumichika's going to need to cut my hair again."

He rinses and begins to wash my body, his hands gliding over my skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Whatever you want. Just leave me enough to play with."

I press myself up against him. "I think I know something better for you to play with."

He strokes my belly and kisses my neck. "You sure you still want it?"

"Oh no. I'll go find some other man."

That irks him."What was that? Pretty sure I didn't hear you correctly."

"I said, I'll just go find some other man to fuck me, since you don't seem to be up to the task right now, Captain."

He bites me, hard enough to leave a mark as his hand strokes between my legs. "You're dehydrated." he says after a moment.

"Probably."

The water shuts off before he wraps a towel around me as best he can and picks me up. "Wolf, I'm pretty damn sure your belly is going to pop open if you get much bigger. Surprised you don't have stretch marks."

"Okami heals them as they appear....I think this should be the last time we have kids. I know you have a thing for my pregnant belly but five kids is a lot. I don't want any more."

"What're you havin'?"

"I don't know. I never got checked. I don't think we'll have long to wait though, really. My belly has already dropped considerably the past two weeks."

"Probably not. Isane's been panickin' about you. How did you avoid the search parties?"

"I hid. My cave was disguised."

"I see. No more runnin' off. You got a bad fuckin' habit of doin' that."

"You have a bad habit of saying stupid things that piss me off and make me run off to clear my head.

"Yeah, guess you got a point. If you want this to be the last, I'm fine with that. You're irrational and moody when you're pregnant anyway."

As he sets me on the bed and dries me off, I kiss him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Being moody and irrational."

"What should I do to punish you, woman? I have lots of ideas but most of them probably aren't good in your current condition."

I kiss his neck and jaw line softly. "You could always save it for after I have them."

"Then you wouldn't learn-"

I grab him, stroking him playfully and massaging his sac teasingly. "Spank me, Captain. Make me unable to sit for a couple days. I'm a bad girl. I need punishment to learn the error of my ways."

He removes the towel from me and kisses me gently, pushing me to lay back. His mouth moves to my neck, biting me as his hand smacks my ass, making it burn. Every time he kisses a new spot, he swats me again. When his mouth finally reaches my breast, my ass is on fire. I'm burning with need for him. His tongue caresses my nipple as he swats me a few more times. "Kenpachi, please!" I whimper.

"What?"

"I need you inside me."

"Get on your hands and knees." It takes me a couple minutes but I finally get there and his hand strokes me. I let out a moan as he pushes inside me. He doesn't move, just sits there for a few moments. "Damn you still feel good."

"Please!"

"Are you beggin'?"

"Kenpachi, please! Fuck me! I missed you so much! Please!"

"You never run off again. Understand? I'll save your real punishment til after you have these pups." he growls.

"Yes! I swear."

"That's an order!" he yells.

"Yes! I won't run away from you again! Please!" He starts moving, slowly at first. Teasing me. Building the pressure inside. His hand suddenly grabs my hair, pulling my head back as the other moves me on him and he bites my neck again. "Harder! Please!" I beg.

He has no problem following my urging, his thrusts becoming harder and faster. I'm startled when he pulls out of me suddenly. However, he's not gone long before he slides back inside. His hand grabs my hair again as he rubs around my ass. He's got lube on his finger. I wince when he pushes a finger inside me. "I'm gunna claim this, woman." he hisses as he starts pounding me like a hammer does a nail.

"Oh fuck!" I moan.

"What's my name, Wolf?"

"Captain!"

He releases my hair to smack my ass. "Try again!"

"Captain Zaraki!"

Another hit. "Better get it right this time, Wolf. If you don't, I'll pull out. Say my name!"

"Kenpachi!"

"Scream it!"

I refuse for a minute before my orgasm washes over me like a tidal wave, screaming his name as I feel him explode with me. He's not done, however. Not by a long shot. Why am I not surprised?

***Kenpachi POV***

I watch the twins as Ikkaku and Yumichika train them. Harmona let slip she's been workin' on their stances with em. She's done good. Maybe I should actually give her the duties of a fourth seat. She's layin' on the hammock I tied up for her on the dojo porch, though she watches intently. I can see she's bored. I can also see her wince every now and again when her belly shakes. If not for her facial expression, it would be funny. She's huge now that she's been home for two weeks and gettin' proper meals.

"Wolf, you ok?" I ask.

"You try having three sets of feet kicking you and see how you feel." she grumbles.

"I have, just not from the inside."

She sits up and winces. "My back is killing me. My hips are killing me. This is all your fault. I clearly said I didn't wanna do anything but noooo! You're so hard headed."

"The fuck are you talkin' about! I'm the one who said no!"

She giggles. "Don't argue with your wife. I'm always right. Unless I'm left."

I roll my eye. "You're an idiot is what you are."

She gets to her feet and I watch her waddle back to the house.

"Sir, she's gotta pop soon. She's huge." Ikkaku says, earning him a smack to his bald head.

"Don't make fun of women who are pregnant. They deserve respect." Yumichika snaps.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?"

Yumichika blushes. "Nothing."

I eye him critically. "Somethin' you need to get off you chest, peacock?"

"Nothing! I assure you, nothing is wrong."

"I smell bullshit."

"I'm not saying anything. There's nothing to say!"

I frown as my stomach starts hurtin' and look around for Harmona. I don't see her. "I'm gunna go check on Wolf. Ikkaku, keep workin' with Michiko since she seems to listen to you more than feather brains. She's puttin' too much weight on her heels."

"Yes, sir."

When I get to the house, I have to search for a bit until I find Harmona. She's face down in the kitchen floor. I kneel beside her but she swats me. "It's cool down here." she mumbles.

"It's not that hot, Wolf."

"Kenpachi, I'm fucking fat. I am burning up."

I sit with her. "You shouldn't be layin' on your stomach."

"I...fell. I've been getting dizzy spells a lot today."

I roll her over and she winces. "I...think I need to go see Isane. My hip is hurting really bad."

"How bad is bad?"

"You know I like pain right? Well, this is a bit much."

"Can you walk?"

"I can try."

I help her to her feet and she wraps her arm around my waist. "Let me know when you can't go any further. I'll carry you from there."

"Will do."

****Harmona POV****

"Harmona, you dislocated your hip when you fell. Can Okami heal it?" Isane says gently.

"He says he's trying but there's a problem."

"What's the problem?"

I wince again as a flurry of kicks from inside begins. "Isane, you need to do surgery. Now."

"Surgery!? For what?"

"He says there's a cord wrapped around one of their necks. It's not in distress yet but the more it kicks, the tighter it gets."

"Alright. Give me a few minutes to get a couple of my medics in there to help. Kenpachi, you stay right here with her."

Zaraki sighs. "Well, at least you won't be trainin' for a few weeks, unlike last time."

"I'm tired. I don't want to fight right now."

"Fight? Who's startin' a fight?"

"I'll train as soon as I'm able. Don't you dare try to stop me."

"Alright, let's get this done. Harmona, I'm going to put you all the way under so we can work faster, ok? Normally I wouldn't but the way these little ones are kicking, it'll sedate them too and lessen the risk of complete strangulation. Kenpachi....wait in the hall." Isane says, bringing in three nurses with her.

He kisses me. "I ain't goin' far."

"Isane...I don't want any more after this. Can you-"

"We'll do a tubal while I'm in there. Will take about ten minutes, ok? Thank you for telling me."

"Sure thing."

A mask is put over my face and as I breathe in, I get sleepier. Finally my eyes close completely as the world fades...

****Kenpachi POV****

"Captain Zaraki, would you care to follow me? I'll take you to the nursery and the babies will be brought there in a few minutes." a nurse asks me.

"Is it far from here?"

"No. It's two rooms down. She's doing very well right now. Captain Kotetsu is going to reset her hip while she's under as well. Okami is in there to assist with the healing."

"Oh, he came out, did he?"

She nods. "Yes, sir. Please, come with me."

I follow her and wait patiently. Soon my ears are met with weak cries as two more nurses come in. "We can't let you hold them just yet, Captain. They need a lot of extra care right now. Their lungs aren't quite developed enough to survive yet so we're going to put them in special cots to help." the first one says, layin' the baby in a thing that looks like a box. She turns a red light on and covers it's eyes. The second nurse does the same with the other. "They looks really good, for being so early."

A third nurse comes in and repeats the process. "This one is the one with the cord. She's going to need a lot of extra help."

"She?" I ask.

"Yes. She. And she has an identical twin sister and a brother."

I smile. "That's good. How's my wife?"

"Captain Kotetsu is finishing up with the surgical part before she resets the hip. She must've fallen pretty hard, Captain."

"Is that normal?"

"Well, no, not really. In pregnancy, a woman's hips spread which makes her joints get a little looser. It still takes a lot of force to get it completely out of socket like that but it's not unheard of with a fall."

I sense she wants to say somethin' else. "But?"

"Well, it would take a huge amount of force to have knocked it that far out of socket. Was there anyone else with her?"

"No and she didn't say anythin'."

The nurse sighs. "Sir, I'm going to be blunt here. She was pushed. If you weren't home and nobody was with her then you know who did it."

"Her demon. We have a plan to remove it but it couldn't be done while she was pregnant. We weren't willin' to risk their lives."

She nods. "I think that would be best. If it's attacking her, it needs removed as soon as possible.

Isane walks in and sighs. "She's fine now. Unless she is able to regrow her tubes, she won't be having any more, as she requested. Her hip is back in place and I'm going to let her wake up on her own. As for the babies, they're pretty early so they'll need to stay here in the infirmary until they develop a bit more. I'm going to need Harmona to stay too obviously so they can be fed."

"How long do you think?

"Well...they're about five weeks pre-term. I'm going to say at least that long but I'm not positive. Okami said something strange to me and I want to watch."

"What?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing to worry about, I promise. I just need to watch and see. Harmona will probably be awake in the next half hour or so. Do you want to see them? They need to be in the incubator but you can stick your hand through the hole in the side and touch them at least."

I go to the third one first, instinct drivin' me. Isane stands beside me. "She'll be ok. The bruising will go away too. That cord was getting tight. However...did anyone ever discover who her birth father was?"

"Ukitake. Why?"

She smiles a little. "That explains them then."

"What?"

"Reach in there and move that blanket off her forehead a little. You'll see what I mean."

I do what Isane suggested and am startled. Her hair is white as snow. I can't tell her eye color, as the strap over her eyes hides them from me. "You say both girls are like this?"

"Yes. It's rare but sometimes children can inherit a recessive gene and get a grandparent's color eye or hair. We're still trying to figure out Harmona's hair, to be quite honest, especially now that we know who her father is. The girls are identical, even down to their length and birth marks."

"Birth mark?"

"They both have a small strawberry mark on the back of their head under their hair. They will probably disappear with age but not always."

I remove my hand, havin' been strokin' this little one's arm through the blanket and move to the next one. A quick check shows my other daughter. "Isane...how big are they?"

"Well both girls are about a pound and two ounces. Your son, however he's a whopping one pound five ounces."

"That's not big. You sure I won't break them by touchin' them?"

"I'm sure. Your son is a bit odd too, really."

"How so?"

"His eyes are two different colors and so is his hair."

I frown. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Both of his eyes are blue. However, there's green flecks around the pupils. That may change. Some babies eye color changes before a year old but it'd be really pretty if his eyes stay like that. His hair is black but it fades to a blue like hers at the end. I've never seen anything like it."

"Isane, just between you and me, could that have been caused by anythin' in particular?"

"You mean when you lost control in your bankai?"

"Yeah." I say, movin' to my son. He has a lot more hair than the girls, since it's stickin out from the blanket.

"I doubt it. At conception, a baby is only a clump of cells, it's not formed completely. I mean it's possible but I highly doubt it. I wouldn't ask Mayuri though, that's for sure."

"Wasn't plannin' on it."

"Uhm, Captain Zaraki, your wife is awake, sir and she seems to be panicking a little." Hanataro says from the door.

I follow him out and back to the room Harmona is in. She relaxes on seein' me, but I can see the panic still barely below the surface. I sit next to her and hold her hand. "You're ok. Kids are too."

Now she relaxes completely. "Good. I was so worried."

"It's ok. Two girls and a boy. They're tiny but just fine. Isane needs to keep you four here for a few weeks though, so they can develop a little more."

"Oh....I don't want to stay but if I have to, I will, for them."

"It's just so you're on hand for feedin' mostly."

She nods. "I need to move. I want to see them."

"Wolf...the girls look like your dad. White hair. I don't know about their eyes."

"You mean Ukitake, right?"

"Yes."

She sighs but has a smile. "And what about our son?"

"Uh...yeah he's a little funky too. Two color hair and two color eyes."

"What?!"

"Relax. Isane says he's fine. Just odd. Yumichika will probably like it."

She nods. "Okami says he's going to speed up the healing on the incision. So I can go back to training as soon as possible."

"Wolf, quit tryin' to push yourself."

"Make me."

****Harmona POV****

I sit in the rocking chair they've provided, feeding my son while the girls continue sleeping. His hair bothers me for some reason, though it is gorgeous. His eyes regard me silently, trusting me. It makes my heart melt a little. The girls look at me like this too but, like Michiko, they seem to have nothing but adoration for their father.

"I'm going to weigh them real quick, Harmona. I'll get him when you're done." Isane says quietly from the door.

"That's fine."

"You ok?"

"Tired mostly but otherwise just fine. How're you?"

"I'm tired too. Tired of hiding things."

"If it's about you and Yumichika, I figured it out the other day when he left. How far along are you?"

"Did he tell you?"

I shake my head. "No. I can smell your scent has changed a bit and asked Okami what causes that. He says pregnancy can and illness can. You don't seem sick so..."

"I'm about three months. Yumichika doesn't want your husband to find out."

"He'll figure it out anyway, you know. He may act like a stupid, war monger but he's pretty clever."

"We're up to four pounds and seven ounces. Their breathing is normal too so, really, I think only a couple more days and you can go home. Kenpachi will be happy. I know he's missed you terribly, even visiting. He does every time you go away from him. It's kinda cute, really."

"Okami was helping. He doesn't like being away from my husband either. Well, me being away from him anyway."

"Why's that?"

"My demon is afraid of him so I don't have as many problems. He wasn't afraid until that day he used his bankai. But whenever Zaraki is away now, my demon likes to hurt me more."

"You'll be getting him out soon, correct?"

"We have plans. Just waiting til it's safe to do so."

"Good."

My son finishes and I get to my feet. "Three weeks old today."

"Yeah, time flies doesn't it. How's your incision?"

"Healed completely. Wish my belly would go away though. I need to get back to training."

"Harmona, you lost ten pounds already and I think most of that was fluid. Sure, you've got some baby fat but you still look great."

"I'm ugly and fat right now. I don't need to be both. I can't do anything about being ugly so I'll shed the weight so I'm not as hideous."

"You're not hideous. If you were, you wouldn't have guys slobbering when you pass them."

"If you say so."

I hand my son to Isane after changing his diaper, watching as she weighs him. "As usual, he's the heaviest. He's five pounds even. Does he eat more?"

"I think so. He stays latched longer anyway"

"Nothing wrong with that."

"No, guess not. He's growing, that's all that matters."

"Yeah. It's about time for Kenpachi to be coming so I'll get out of your hair. Take it easy, Harmona."

****************

I watch Zaraki holding the girls while my son is sound asleep in my arms. "Isane says a couple more days and we should be able to come home."

"Good. I miss havin' you there and the twins miss you too. Takeshi said his first word finally."

"Which was?"

"Chicken."

"Chicken?"

"Ichika gave him a toy that he can pull behind him as he walks and it makes noise. It looks like a chicken."

"Oh, that makes sense. Michiko?"

"Still only says dada. I don't count that as a word."

"I still don't know a name for them." I sigh.

"The guys took a vote for their opinions. Mitsuki was the first most popular girls name and Ashiro came second. As for boys I think-"

"I meant for the girls. He's unique so I've decided to name him Ryden."

"After the god of thunder, huh?"

"Yes. His temper is a force to be reckoned with."

"Then are you accepting their names?"

"Yes."

"Good."

He launches into how the recruits are doing during training, probably realizing my mind needs a distraction. I listen keenly but my mind is focused on one thing. Blood lust. It's consuming me, every day more and more. This is exactly why I told Isane I needed to be fixed. This long without a fight, whether a real one or a sparring match, causes problems with me. I hope she's right about only a couple more days. I don't know how much longer I can hold it back. My demon isn't helping matters either...

"Alright, you four are clear to go home. I'll have you come for a check up in a month, ok?" Isane says, smiling.

"Sure. Take care of yourself." I say, nodding.

Zaraki takes Ryden and Ashiro. Mitsuki is snuggled in my arms, cooing happily at me. I will give myself a couple more days before I go back to training. I need to do something about this blood lust though. "We...need to talk, Captain." I sigh when we get half way home.

"I don't like how you just said that." he growls.

"I have a problem."

"What?"

"I need to get back-"

"Shut up about the fuckin' trainin'. You can get back to it when I say so."

"You don't understand-"

"No, you don't understand. You just carried three babies in your belly, had surgery to remove them, have been fuckin' gone for nearly four months countin' when you ran off to the Rukongai and-"

"Fine. I get it. You're trying to protect me. But you're putting everyone at risk too." I mumble

"Oh yeah cause boredom is such a fuckin' dangerous thing."

"It is for me, stupid!" I growl.

"Why?"

"Nevermind. Let's just get home so I can give them a bath and take one myself. I'm cranky from being cooped up in a hospital, alright?"

"Tch. Like I didn't notice."

"So help me if I didn't have a newborn in my arms, I'd hit you."

"I might like that."

"I'll hit you with a rock."

"I'd like to hit you with my rocks, woman. You have no clue how fuckin' sexy you sound when you're mad at me."

I blush. "Three more weeks."

"Nope, not gunna wait that long, woman. I'll find other ways to get you screamin' for me. I still owe you some punishment for runnin' off."

Shit. I forgot about that. "Be gentle."

"Oh, you have no fuckin' clue what I'm even doin'. And bein' gentle ain't it." he says, giving me the devil may care grin I've come to know and get hot over.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dark toward the end. Trigger warning.

"What the hell do you think you're doin'? I said no trainin'." Zaraki snarls.

I fall off the bar I've put across the door, smacking my head on the floor from where I was doing some exercises. I hit the floor with my fist. "Damn it, Kenpachi! Stop it! I need to do something. The triplets sleep all the time. I'm fucking bored and fat and I'm tired of it!"

"I said no. You're exhausted." he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Will it matter if there's a fight if I'm exhausted? Will my opponent stop trying to kill me if I tell them I'm exhausted? No? Then shut the fuck up." I snarl before starting on push ups.

"Wolf, you don't have a lot of weight to lose, dummy. You and the triplets have been home for a month now and I know this ain't the first day you've been workin' out. You're droppin' weight too fast."

"I was your weight when I had the triplets, Kenpachi. I'm fat and atrocious. I hate it."

"I'm gunna kick your ass."

"Add it to my punishment. I'm off balance still with this extra blubber. I don't see how the squad two fatso can stand it."

"How much do you weigh now?"

"Isane says I'm down to one forty but I'm still overweight. I'm hideous. I have twenty more pounds to lose at least!" I say, pushing myself up off the floor again.

"You've lost sixty pounds in a month!?"

"I'm fine! You can't honestly tell me you enjoy seeing me naked anymore."

"Really? I got fuckin' hard as hell seein' you with a belly full of my kids and you think a little chub on you is a turn off for me?"

"Yes. Pregnant belly is different from fat. I'm disgusting."

His foot hits me in the side, knocking me rolling into the dining area. "I'm gunna punish you so fuckin' hard you won't be able to stand for a goddamn month. This is the one fuckin' thing I hate about you! You are so harsh on yourself, woman. One mistake and you push yourself to passin' out until it's corrected. One extra pound and you stop eatin' for days at a time. You think I can't love you with a little extra cushion?"

"Yes. I can't therefore you can't."

"You never have loved yourself though! You've been taught to hate yourself since you were a year old."

"So what? It doesn't matter. I'm fat. End of story. You won't let me train. You know boredom is bad for me. Plus if I wear myself out, my demon will leave me alone too."

He leans over and grabs my hair, dragging me to my feet. "You've pissed me off, woman."

I see the look in his eye and decide to keep my mouth shut. He's beyond pissed.

****Kenpachi POV****

"You want to fight so fuckin' bad, then fight me."

She aims a punch, which I catch and twist her arm behind her back. I take a kick to my knee I wasn't expecting and turn her loose. Another punch, this time connecting with my jaw. I tackle her, makin' us crash into the table. She stomps on my foot with the heel of hers and I smack her. She tries to hide the whimper but I hear it clear as day. However, she doesn't act on it. She tries to knee me in the groin but I catch her leg, earnin' me a headbutt. I grab her arm and throw her out the door. I follow her as she rolls a few feet past the stairs before grabbin' her hair again and draggin' her to her feet. "Yumichika!"

"Sir?"

"You keep an eye on the little ones. Ikkaku, you keep workin' with the twins but I need the dojo cleared. My wolf has decided to refuse to follow orders again so I'm gunna show her why she needs to listen to me."

"Yes, sir...but will you stop pulling on her hair? It'll break!"

"I'll break you in a minute, feather brains."

"Let me go, you asshole!" she yells, strugglin' in my grip. I don't listen, of course, instead choosin' to grab her by the ass of her hakama and carry her to the dojo.

"Clear out!" I order, watchin' the men scramble. Once it's clear, I throw her into the opposite wall. "Fight me, Wolf."

"I'm gunna fucking beat the shit out of you!" she snarls before chargin' at me. She hasn't drawn Okami so I won't draw my sword either. I'll prove my point on equal footing. I meet her, punch for punch, kick for kick. To my surprise, it's even. Normally, she lets me win but I must've really pissed her off. I manage to smack her in the mouth, sendin' her off kilter. The next hit sends her into the wall face first. Before she can move, I pin her there.

"Done yet?"

"Fuck no!" She throws her head back, hittin' my chin. I retaliate by hitting her thigh as hard as I can, causing the muscles to give out. She lands on her knees. "Damn you!" she hisses before strikin' me in the gut with her elbow. As she twists around, I grab her hair again.

"You're in a good position there, woman." I tease her, knowin' damn good and well she'll lose her focus.

As her red eyes meet mine, I don't have time to back away. She lays my thigh open with her claws right before usin' them to cut her hair. Yumichika is gunna be pissed. Strike that, I'm fuckin' pissed! She moves faster, clockin' me in the cheek, in turn I lose my temper and backhand her, knockin' her across the room in a roll. Blood flies from her lip as she gets back up and charges at me. I catch her in a choke hold and slam her to the floor where I pin her with her arms above her head.

"Done yet, Wolf?" 

She tries to roll. "No!"

"You can't get loose." She brings her knee up into my back, hittin' me right in the spine. I lean myself forward and lick the blood from her lip. "You're done, Wolf. You can't win against me."

"Yes. I. Can." She snarls before bucking and rolling at the same time as she headbutts me, hittin' me in the nose. I'm knocked off her and land on my back. She tries to pin me but I throw her off. Her head bounces off the wall and I'm on her again, pushin' my body right up against hers. She hits my ribs before liftin' her leg and kickin' me where my obi is knotted. I spin her around and smack her ass as hard as I possibly can. As her breathin' changes, I know I've won. She grabs my hand and rubs it between her legs. "Kenpachi, you owe me punishment." she sighs softly.

"Yeah, I do, don't I?" As I say this she pushes her ass back against me. I try to grab her and she flits away, sockin' me in the back. Fuckin' brat.

"Come on, Captain. I'm not your wife in this instant. I'm your fourth seat officer. A disobedient fourth seat officer."

I frown. "You don't want to go there, woman. Have you seen what I do to the men who get on my nerves?"

"No. But it doesn't matter, Captain."

"Fine. Have it your way. Just don't blame me later." I grumble before gettin' in the storage closet and comin' back out with a whip. I've decided on this rather than the usual board. The board won't do shit for her. The whip, however, is either gunna make her hot or it's gunna break her. I never use this on the men unless it's a severe infraction and I don't think I've used it in the past thirteen years. The men of the squad know damn good and well I don't put up with shit. They've heard the horror stories. "Strip your kosode off." I order her.

She smirks and does exactly that. Yeah, she still has a little chub on her belly but she's gettin' back in shape just fine. She's still fuckin' hotter than hell. "I'm not going to make this easy, Captain."

"Oh? You still wanna fight, huh?" I smirk.

"I'm going to earn every lick of that lash, sir."

I crack it next to her face, just to test her. She flinches at the noise but gets a determined look on her face again....right before pullin' a disappearin' act like the first fight we had face to face. I turn, expectin' her to attack from the rear. However, she drops on me from above. I catch her and throw her down again, pullin' her obi loose before she squirms away. I watch as her hakama drop, revealin' black lace panties that hug her ass nicely. I've never had a thing for lace before but suddenly I'm rock hard. "Why, fourth seat, you do have a bad side, don't you? A fuckin' wicked side."

"Stop drooling, Captain. I don't feel I'm being punished. I think you've grown soft, sir." she says, lookin' over her shoulder.

"Soft, huh?"

"Soft. Like a pillow."

I crack the whip across her back, hard enough to leave a welt but not break the skin. "Say it again, Wolf. I fuckin' dare you!"

"I said, you're fucking soft, asshole!" she snarls.

I hit her on the shoulder, splittin' the skin wide open. She gasps in pain but her facial expression speaks of somethin' else. Shit. Somethin's botherin' her so she's usin' pain as a distraction. "What is it, Wolf? What's got you-"

"I don't want to talk, Captain. Two little licks like that isn't enough punishment, is it?" she purrs.

"Take those panties off."

"Now, I don't think that would be appropriate, sir. I'm your fourth seat, not your play thing."

I strike her across her ass. "You want me to fuck up the lace?"

She hurries to remove the panties and I see evidence of her arousal. "Finish it, Captain."

"Count. Out loud, woman. You're gunna get three licks for the months you went AWOL and seven for your fuckin' disobedience, includin' your mouth. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!"

A crack across her hip. "Count or I'll add more!"

"One!" she yells. I watch as her arm drops, her hand rubbin' between her legs.

"Move forward and use your free hand to brace yourself on the wall, Wolf. I want you to bend over a little. Spread those legs too."

She does as I've ordered and replaces her hand. I watch her caress her clit, teasin' herself. I bring the whip down on her ass, splittin' the skin again and watchin' as the blood drips down to mix with her juices.

"Two!"

Another stripe on her back, bringin' another welt. Her hand moves a little faster now. Damn it, she's distractin' me.

"Three!" she whimpers. I see her tremblin'.

"Learn your lesson yet?"

"No, Captain. I'm hard headed!" she moans before slidin' a finger inside herself.

I hit her three more times across the back in quick succession, the last one bringin' a scream outta her. "Four, five, six!" she cries, addin' another finger. "Oh please, finish it, Captain. I'm still feeling naughty!"

"Move your hand."

She hesitates before listenin', causin' me to smack her across the ass again. "Seven!" she screams, movin' her hand and bendin' over a little further. She's so fuckin' hot. I soften the blow, hittin' her between those wet lips. She sucks in a deep breath. "Eight!" I repeat it twice more, and finally get what I was after. I watch as she cums, a river of clear juice runnin' down her legs.

"You forgot to count, fourth seat." I growl before throwin' the whip down and turnin' her toward me. She's in a haze, her cheeks pink and her eyes glassy. I'm gunna make it worse. I lift her, gettin' her thighs on my shoulders as my tongue laps up the moisture from her pussy. She's so fuckin' sweet today, like sugar water. I stick my tongue in the source, lappin' up every fuckin' drop before returnin' to her clit. I feel her legs start to shake as she fights me so I stroke harder.

"Captain! Oh fuck! I'm going to...oh god! Kenpachi!" she whimpers my name as she tries to drown me. I clean her some before settin' her back on her feet and turnin' her back toward the wall. I drop my hakama and slide inside her, reachin' my arms around to play with her tits. I drive into her with mindless need, enjoyin' her repeatin' my name. When I get close though, I pull out and stroke her with my hand, gettin' it wet before I mess with her ass. I warned her this would be part of her punishment. I need to claim her completely.

"Don't tense up or this'll hurt worse." I warn her before slidin' my dick back inside her pussy for a moment. She's so fuckin' wet now my balls get drenched immediately so I pull back out and push into her ass. She's so fuckin' tight. She moans though, her cheeks gettin' as red as Renji's hair. "You don't like this, do you?" Her only answer is to push back against me, drivin' me deeper. Her pussy is leakin' like crazy, though I can see tears in her eyes.

"Kenpachi, I need...fuck, I'm so wet...touch me, please!" she whimpers.

I rub on her clit as I pound into her ass. She's makin' new sounds I've never heard her make for me before, each one bringin' me closer to blowin'. "Cum for me, Wolf." I order.

It takes mere seconds but she does and I feel the muscles clench. Her ass is so tight I can't move as her muscles clench so I shove three of my fingers inside her, makin' it worse. My hand is soaked quickly as I rub against the bundle of nerves inside her. She screams suddenly, takin' me off guard and makin' me cum with her as she drowns my hand. Her whole body is shakin' when she stops. I pull out as easy as I can and catch her before she hits the ground. She's out like a light and I didn't notice because I was fuckin' her so damn good but the lashes I gave her aren't healin'.

"You idiot. I warned you that you were exhausted." I sigh before pullin' my hakama back up and gettin' her dressed. It's like tryin' to dress a wet noodle.

"Pachi...thank you." she mumbles, crackin' an eye open as I finally get her obi tied.

"For what?"

"I'm calmer now. It's been bad lately."

****Harmona POV****

"What has?"

"Can I tell you a secret? You won't tell Shunsui."

"Unless I have to, I won't tell anyone."

"The reason it's bad when I get bored is...blood lust. I have a physical urge to kill. That's why I like fighting so much. It keeps it at bay. Kenpachi, if Shunsui knew, he would be ordered to kill me. Berserkers are death on the battlefield, for enemy and ally alike. We're not controlled easily and since I can't die normally that's why I'm such a threat to the Soul Society."

He stares at me for a minute before sighing. "Fine, you can train, but only with me. I don't trust you with the men, as turned on as you get. I'm afraid you'll give that secret away and end up in trouble."

I nod before getting to my feet. "Understood. And I agree." I wince as I take a step. "Ok, it felt good but not so much right now."

He laughs, even going so far as to fall back on his back. "That's why it's called a punishment. You're not s'posed to like it, idiot."

"Oh, but I did, Captain. I might consider letting you do it again if I need punished again."

"Gladly, though I prefer your pussy more. I like how hot and wet that is. Now, why ain't you healin'?"

"Okami is busy with my demon at the moment."

"Again?!"

"Yes. Nothing to worry about."

He gets to his feet and looks out the window. "Shit." he growls.

"I take it we had an audience?" I laugh.

"Yeah. About five of them."

"Oh well. They know I'm yours..."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm light headed. Think I should go lay down." I give him a small smile. "You're right. I'm exhausted, which isn't helping matters."

"Go on. Ikkaku has the twins so I'll help him a bit."

I nod and use shunpo to get home faster. However, once I'm in the door, I fall, curling into a ball.

"Wolf?!" I barely hear Yumichika over the screaming in my head. I clap my hands over my ears. Yumichika kneels in front of me and lifts me into his arms before carrying me to the bedroom. I hear him say Zaraki's name but just barely. Suddenly Zaraki is in front of me. I focus on his face but I can't hear anything over the noise. Finally darkness comes over my vision as my brain shuts itself down.

***Kenpachi POV***

"She's hearin' somethin'." I growl.

"That was my thought. Her ears are bleeding." Yumichika says.

"Wonder if it was somethin' Mayuri was doin' in his stupid lab today maybe? Did you hear anythin'?"

"Nothing other than her whimpering."

I smoothe the hair back from her face. When she cut it earlier, she cut it to just below her ear lobes so now it frames her face. The alarms start soundin' outside. "We gotta leave her here. You and Ikkaku get your groups to their positions. I want Arimaki to stay with his group here in the barracks with her and the kids so she's safe until she wakes up."

"Yes, sir!"

I kiss her forehead softly. "Okami, if you can hear me, keep her safe. I need her awake as quick as you can get her." I say before leavin' the house. "Arimaki, you get in the house with her and the kids. Keep them inside until she wakes up! Got it?"

"Yes, Captain!" he shouts back before ordin' his men to form a perimeter. Normally, I wouldn't trust my tenth seat to this task but, I don't have a choice. The Seireitei is overrun with arrancars and a few Menos. This'll be bad if she doesn't wake up soon.

****Harmona POV****

"It's ok, babies. You're safe here." I hear Maki Maki saying as I come out of my sleep.

"Maki?" I ask.

"Oh thank heavens! You had us worried, ma'am! The Seireitei is under attack. If you're feeling up to it, me and my men have the kids. You go join. You're stronger than all of us combined so you're needed more than us!" he says.

I sit up and wince. Okami still hasn't healed me completely, if at all. "What was that screaming noise earlier?"

"Screaming? The only one we've heard scream today is you...uh...earlier." he blushes.

"No, that's what made me pass out. There was a terrible screaming noise." I get to my feet. "Keep my children safe. I'm going to join the fight."

*****

"There's too many of them! Captain, we're being overwhelmed! This is the Quincy invasion all over again!"

"Shut up! We're Squad Eleven! We don't back down, even in the face of death! You fight until you die, men!" Zaraki shouts.

I dart closer and take down an arrancar attacking him from the side, bashing it's skull in with a fist. "Sorry I'm late, Captain."

"What happened earlier?" he asks as I duck under his cleaver so he can take down another enemy.

"I heard a loud screaming. I thought it was in my head at first but now I'm not sure. It was like...almost like a really fucking loud dog whistle. Normal people can't hear those but they hurt my ears." I grunt as I take a kick from an arrancar before slicing through its neck with Okami. "I got a terrible headache from it so, if you don't mind, sir, I'm going to stick close to you so if I collapse again, I know I've got people I trust to get me out of here. I don't think it'll happen but if that whistle sounds again I'm toast."

He nods and I jump out of the way of his swing. "Fine. Try to stay the hell outta my way though. I'd hate to kill you on accident."

"Will do!" I shout before jumping into the fray with the men. I don't go far from him...

"Pull back! Wolf, I know you hate it but use your damn bankai!" Zaraki shouts. We've been pushed back toward our barracks. The Seireitei is a mess, small fires burning everywhere.

"You sure that's a good idea, Captain?" I ask, shoving Okami into a Hollow's eye socket.

"Do it, damn you!"

"Which one?"

"The one I've seen, dipshit!"

"Bankai! Devour, Aoi Oni Okami!"

My zombies go straight to work, devouring anything in sight not wearing a Soul Reaper uniform.

"Michiko! No!" I hear a desperate shout but it seems time stops as I turn. My daughter runs toward me, crying in fear. "Kenpachi!" I scream as a Hollow closes in on her. He's too slow...I watch as my daughter is eaten, her scream echoing around the Seireitei before she disappears into it's mouth. Zaraki goes haywire, killing the thing, screaming in fury....I, however, lose all senses.

"Rampage, Jigoku No Okami." I whisper. My zombies stay in place as my body changes into my monster. I will decimate this entire fucking city. I will kill everyone! I let out a howl, one that shakes the ground and buildings around me before beginning my rampage, taking my fury out on everyone, friend or foe. Their blood paints the walls and the ground as I shut down, letting my rage take over for the first time since that collar. But this is worse. So much worse....I will not stop until everything is dead.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch Harmona's change into the monster. I won't stop her. Images of my daughter race through my head, blinding me to everythin'.

"Captain, we need to stop her!" Ikkaku says, kneelin' beside me.

"Let her rampage. Nothin' I can do about it. She's a berserker."

"Sir, she's destroying everything!"

"Let her."

Harmona's roars continue for a long time. I watch as Kuchiki attacks her, over and over, his blades slicing into her deeply. But she refuses to go down. Everythin' that used to be white is red now with blood. This is what Yamamoto wanted, just not inside the Seireitei. This is the monster he created.

"Kenpachi, where's her sword?!" Shunsui yells, landin' beside me.

"I don't know."

"Damn it! She's going to kill everyone! She's killing soul reapers too! Ichika is there!"

Why should I care?

"Kenpachi, she has to die. Now! Her life isn't worth more than everyone else!"

"She just watched Michiko be eaten! What the fuck to you expect! Let her!"

Thunder rumbles overhead and rain starts pourin' down. I hear the unmistakable sound of a sword breakin' and Harmona's scream of pain. I run to her as Kuchiki draws his sword out of her chest. Okami lays broken beside her. I race to her, pullin' her up in my arms. "Don't you die on me, woman!" I yell.

"It's ok...it's time, Kenpachi. You made me so happy. You're a good man. I'm just a monster." she says, puttin' her hand on my cheek. "Don't cry. Only idiots cry."

"Harmona, I can't let you go, damnit! I can't raise four kids on my own."

"You can do it. Shunsui is there to help you. I love you so much. I'm sorry I failed you."

I watch her hand fall, the light leavin' her eyes. "Wolf! Don't leave me! Don't die!"

My words fall on deaf ears. She's gone, for real this time.

"Zaraki...give me her sword." Mayuri demands quietly.

"Take it. She's dead so she won't need it."

"You silly man. You think I will let one of my creations die? You are stupider than you look. Bury her, if it gives you comfort, but she won't need it long."

Before I can ask him anythin' else, he's gone, takin' the pieces of Okami with him. I hold my woman in my arms, rockin' back and forth before finally lettin' out a scream of grief for my child and my wife. They deserved better.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of foreshadowing in this chapter for another book I will be working on soon.

I sit in front of Harmona's grave. We put her right next to Ukitake, since she was closer to him than her mom. I'm drinkin', tryin' to get hammered. There's a marker for my daughter next to Harmona, though there's no body to put in it. She's been gone for three days. I fuckin' hate Kuchiki, even though he was just doin' it to save the stupid city. I suppose I should get back to the barracks. It's about time for the triplets to have their bottles.

"Hey, Kenpachi...thought I'd find you here." I hear Ichigo's voice behind me.

"Come for a fight?"

"What!? No way! Actually...well, kinda I guess. Shunsui sent word you needed a distraction. Orihime is helping Yumichika with the kids. She's gunna stay with you all here in the Seireitei for awhile."

"Why?"

"Uh...we've decided to get a divorce. I married her when I was young and stupid and I can't keep dragging her on like this. She's too nice and...well, she's fallen in love with someone here. So, it's for the best. Our son has moved in with my younger sisters for now til we get things settled. We're still friends and all but there's no love there anymore."

I glare at him over my shoulder. "You should be fuckin' thankful you have a woman who worshiped you, stupid."

He sits beside me. "Yeah, I know. That's why we decided to call it quits. We just...there's nothing there anymore. Like I said, she's fallen in love with someone here. And I can't make her love me anymore when I love someone else."

I down the rest of the bottle before openin' another one. "Love is fuckin' stupid. That's what she always told me. It gave someone all the power in the world to hurt you, whether by their own hand or by someone usin' them as a weapon. She was right. This shit fuckin' hurts."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. I don't even feel like fightin right now."

"You really loved her, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. She was my better half." I sigh before gettin' to my feet. "I'm goin' to the bar tonight. Join us, Ichigo. We'll have a good barbecue."

To my surprise, he scampers to catch up to me. "Sure, I'll join in. We're friends, right?"

I smirk. "Right."

********

Takeshi is cryin in Yumichika's arms when I get home. "Shh. Tak, it's ok."

"Want mama!"

I sigh and take him in my arms. "I know. I want mama too but she's gone. You gotta quit cryin'. Mama wouldn't want you to be sad."

"Sissy gone too?"

"Yeah...I'm sorry."

His little face scrunches up more and he throws his arms around my neck. I pat his back gently.

"Sir, he'll go to sleep soon, I think. He's been crying for thirty minutes now." Yumichika whispers. "The trio are sleeping now. Orihime is in with them. They've been fed with that powdered milk she brought with her."

"Thanks."

I get inside the house and carry Takeshi upstairs to his room, layin' him in his bed. I curl up beside him, just holdin' him to my chest. His sobs turn to hiccups and then sleep. He's always been a mama's boy, followin' her everywhere when he was allowed to....Michiko was mine. She was my baby girl, full of energy and tenacity for training. My little spitfire that was so much like me in her eagerness for a good fight many people said it was scary. Her scream has been hauntin' my dreams the past couple of days. Arimaki said they had been chased from the house by an arrancar that slipped past their wall of swords. She'd been too fast to catch.

When I'm sure Takeshi is asleep, I head back downstairs and watch Orihime through the door of the triplet's room. She glances up at me and comes out, leavin' the door cracked behind her. I don't expect her to hug me. "I'm so sorry, Kenny! I'm going to stay in the Seireitei for awhile to help with the kids, if that's alright. I know you'll need it. She was such a great person. And little Michiko was so sweet."

"Thanks for helpin'." I sigh before extractin' myself from her arms. "She lives on in the kids. There's nothin' else to be said. You're welcome to stay in the barracks here, if you want."

"Oh, thank you. I was going to stay with squad four but I actually feel better here, if you're sure that's ok? Captain Kotetsu is very upset right now and needs time to grieve too."

"Why? She wasn't close to Harmona."

"You didn't know did you? She was hit in the stomach during the battle and...she lost her baby."

"She was pregnant!?"

"Yes. She's taking it hard. She's also mad at Yumichika and broke up with him."

"Shit. No wonder he's been gloomy." I sigh.

"Well...to be honest, I'd like to help him, if you don't mind. He's always been so sweet to me."

"Ichigo mentioned you had a thing for someone here in the Seireitei. Never woulda guessed it was the damn peacock."

"Oh, Ichigo has been to see you?"

"Yeah. He's goin' to the bar with us tonight before he goes back in the mornin'."

She nods. "That will be good for him, I think. Oh...uhm...Captain Kurotsuchi came by earlier."

"What the hell did he want?"

"He said he left you something in your room and to be on the look out but he didn't say for what."

"I hate him and his riddles. I'm gunna go get a shower."

"Probably a good idea. You smell like dirt and sake."

I turn and head for the shower. I don't...on the bed lays her sword, completely fixed and lookin' just like it should. Why the hell would that stupid lab freak bring it back? She's dead. There's no use for it anymore. I stick it in the closet, in the farthest corner out of my sight. There's no use seein' it every day. She's dead. She won't be comin' back. I head for the shower. I've felt cold since her death. It's not a real cold, it's grief cold. It's pathetic. The memories of her take over once I'm under the warmth of the water...

*******

"To Wolf!" the men shout as we down more drinks. I'm feelin' pretty drunk right now. Ichigo is dancin' with Matsumoto and she's plastered already. I down more sake, tryin' to kill the pain in my heart. Why the fuck is it hurtin'? Damn that wife of mine, goin' and leavin' me alone like this...

******

Takeshi climbs in my bed and curls himself up against my chest. It's too early to be awake but I'm glad he's here. The nightmare is back. Of Retsu and Harmona both. I kiss his head before goin' back to sleep...a sleep full of nightmares. That fuckin' sword triggered them to be this bad. Had to have.

*******

I wake when I hear the triplets cryin'. I also hear Orihime in with them. Takeshi is sound asleep still so I head to their room. "Need a hand?"

"Oh, please! Your son is being impatient for his bottle." she laughs from where she's sittin' in the rockin' chair with the girls.

I pick up the bottle and grab my youngest son. "Hey now. No need to cry." I grumble before stickin' the bottle in his mouth. He continues screamin' for a few seconds before finally realizin' it's there.

"Is Takeshi sleeping in?"

"Yeah, he crawled in bed with me last night. He's still sleepin'."

She nods. "I think it's a good thing. He's a very sweet boy. Also very sad. This is a lot to happen to him so young."

"Yeah. He'll be ok eventually."

"Are you ok though? When I came for their night feeding, I could hear you talking in your sleep. You sounded upset."

"Nightmares." I mumble, removin' the bottle from Ryden's mouth before ploppin' him on my shoulder and pattin' his back. He whimpers a little before givin' me a huge burp. "That's my boy." I change his diaper and get him back to sleep before takin' Mitsuki from Orihime and burpin' her too. She gives me a little extra though, makin' Orihime laugh.

"I've got a towel here. She seems to be the one to spit up each time." she smiles, handin' me the towel.

"I can't blame her. This stuff smells terrible." I grumble, cleanin' Mitsuki and my shoulder off before changin' her diaper too.

"Yeah. It does but it's the best thing for them since..." she trails off and I know what she wants to say.

Yumichika comes in, lookin' troubled. "Captain, may I have a word in private?"

"I've got them, Kenny. Go on." Orihime says softly.

I follow Yumichika out onto the porch. "What is it?"

"Sir, I'd like your permission to take a small vacation. Three days. Please. I've heard some troubling news from some old friends and would like to investigate." he says cryptically.

"Is it important?"

"Gravely."

"Can you tell me-"

"I can't tell you anything until I've investigated, sir. I don't want to say anything and start rumors."

I nod. "Fine. Take your three days. You ain't runnin' from Isane, are you?"

He frowns. "It wasn't mine. She told me so."

"What!?"

"Captain Kotetsu told me before we got together that she was expecting. I offered to pretend it was mine so no questions would be asked and then....well, anyway, she decided to grieve and has broken up with me so the charade won't have to be maintained."

"I see. Fine then. Go on. Report as soon as you get back."

"Yes, sir."

He's gone in a flash, leavin' me wonderin' just what in the hell he heard. I don't like it.

********

I'm trainin' Takeshi in the dojo while Ikkaku focuses on the men. I plant Tak's feet on the floor. "Imagine you're a tree."

"Like mama's?"

"Yeah, like mama's tree."

"Is pwetty!"

I want to smack my forehead. "I mean imagine you are her tree. With big roots in the ground that hold you still."

"I still pwetty?"

"Sure, fine! Just concentrate!"

I see his legs stiffen and nod. "Good. Now, stay still and don't flinch. I'm gunna try to make you scared but I won't hit you, ok?"

He looks a little nervous. "Pwomise?"

"Promise. I won't hit you. Trust me."

He stiffens back up so I stand and circle around him. I take a few swipes at his legs, begin' careful not to connect the stick with them. He stays real still. I move the kendo stick up, aimin' for his sides. His eyes close.

"You don't close your eyes in a fight, kiddo."

"Sowwy." he says, openin' them back up.

I go back to testin' him. After a few minutes, it becomes clear he's not afraid of gettin' hit anymore. That was my goal. "Good. Go play."

"Wanna watch Kaku. He funny."

I smirk. "Funny lookin'."

He giggles and follows me to a clear spot closer to the trainin'. We spend the rest of the afternoon watchin' the men, me pointing out mistakes to avoid when I see them and him seemin' to absorb it. He's a smart kid. Maybe too smart.

************

I kiss each of the triplets before goin' upstairs to say goodnight to Takeshi. He's in his bed, wide awake, lookin' sad. I curl up in his bed too, though my feet hang off the end and it's really not big enough for me to lay on. He snuggles into my chest, the way Harmona used to. "Daddy?"

"What?"

"Why you love mama?"

"Mama was a good woman. A good fighter. She was strong, just like you've been lately."

"I gunna marry Ichika."

I smirk. "You gotta grow up first."

"I know. Ichika is stwong and she nice to me. I wuv her."

"That's good."

"Daddy...you won't mawwy another girl will you?

"What?"

"Hime said you may fall in wuv again. She said you may find me a new mama if you wanted."

"Women are a pain, kid. I ain't marryin' another one."

"I don't want a new mama. I want my old one. Why she won't wake up?"

"Mama died, kiddo. When you die, you don't wake up."

"Why didn't you kiss her?"

"What?"

"Hime says a kiss always wakes up the pwincess."

I sigh. "I wish it worked like that. But death isn't sleep."

"You won't die though. You the Kembachi. You too strong!"

"Even I can die. It'll happen eventually, probably."

"I don't want you to die!" he whimpers.

"Easy, kid. I won't die until someone stronger than me comes to kill me, ok? That won't be for a long time, probably."

He throws his arms around me. "You my daddy. I don't want you dead."

"Relax. No more talk of death now."

"Daddy, what happens to the pakto when it's person dies?"

"It disappears, usually."

"Mama's didn't."

"Well, mama was a bit odd, kiddo. Her sword was weird."

He yawns finally and closes his eyes. "Night, daddy. I wuv you."

"Love you too." I kiss his forehead before I leave the room. Somethin' is very wrong. What Mayuri said is makin' my brain itch and now this. What in the fuck is goin' on? Okami should've disappeared when she did, since it was broken. She told me if it was broke and she died, that was it. There would be no comin' back. And what the fuck did the freak mean, tellin' Orihime to tell me to keep an eye out?

******

Shunsui stumbles into my office. I can smell the sake from here. "Hey, big guy!"

"The hell do you want?" I grumble.

"Let's go bar hopping. Orihime has offered to watch the kids and Rukia is gunna help by bringing Ichika for a play date."

"Fine."

"Let's go! We gots drinkin' to do!"

I roll my eye and follow him out. I need a drink. My mind won't shut up.

*******

"Hello, Captains. What can I get you tonight?" the pretty red head says, comin' to our table.

"The most expensive sake you have. Just bring the bottle, sweetie." Shunsui says.

The girl looks to me. "Same for you?"

"We'll be sharin'. Just bring a couple saucers." I growl.

"Yes, sir." she says before turnin'. Shunsui watches her.

"You like her, huh?"

"She's beautiful." he croons.

"Get ahold of yourself. This is a strip bar, dumbass. She's probably-"

"No! I won't!" the girl yells behind me and I hear the unmistakable sound of a punch.

"Now you won't. No man would look atchya now. You're pathetic! You better get a big tip from those captains or I'm gunna beat it outta your hide tonight!"

Another hit and I hear her sob. None of the other people in here even look up. The girl returns to our table. "Sorry about the wait." she says quietly, hidin' her cheek behind her hair.

Shunsui grabs her wrist as she turns to leave. "Wait. Sit here with us and talk for a minute."

"I'm flattered, sir, but I'm hardly worth your time."

"Sit and talk. That's it. Just talk. I'm not interested in whatever that squabble was about."

She sits and stares at the table sullenly. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Your name, first off."

"I haven't given it to you and I wasn't planning to either."

"Your last name isn't Abarai is it?"

"What? No. It's Tanaka."

"Of the minor nobility?!"

She shrugs. "Used to be."

"You run away?" I ask curiously.

"I was sold to that horrible man so my sister could go to the academy." she sighs.

"And now you're stuck here?"

She pulls the collar of her dress down, revealin' an actual collar. "Yeah, you could say that. I can't go past the door without this collar tightening and choking me."

Shunsui frowns. "Do you want out of here?"

"Unlike the other women that work here, Captain, I refuse to prostitute myself to buy my freedom." she snaps.

Shunsui lifts her hair. There's a dark bruise on her cheek. "Tell me your name. Mine is Shunsui Kyoraku, head captain of the Gotei Thirteen. I want to help you."

"There is no helping me."

"Tch. You have any idea who I am, woman?" I ask. "Between me and him, you'll be outta here before the night's out."

"No, I don't know who you are."

"Captain Kenpachi Zaraki."

She pales. "The Kenpachi?"

"Yep. Ol' Zaraki here isn't one to mess with. If you want out though, tell me your name." Shunsui urges again.

"Akane Tanaka." she sighs.

"Akane for your hair color, I assume?"

"I was born when the peonies of my father's estate first bloomed, the color of blood. My father took it as an omen, especially since my mother died birthing me. He believed that, since no other child has been born to him with hair the color of blood, that I am a changeling."

"And are you?"

"Of course not. There's no such thing. Fairy tales are for children, Captain." she scoffs.

"Well then, let me be your fairy tale prince and rescue you from your tower, my princess."

She stares at him in shock for a moment before laughing. "You are quite the charmer, aren't you."

"He's a horrible flirt and a drunk." I snort.

She giggles a bit. "Well, if you really want to help, you can try but the owner won't-"

"Akane, you idiot! Get back to work!" the barman yells, sneakin' up behind her and smacking the back of her head.

Shunsui jumps to his feet. "Don't touch her again."

"Or what? You gunna stop me?"

"How much do you want for her? I'll buy her from you."

"More than even you can afford, head captain. This little slut is my best looking whore, if she'd actually do her job. I'm planning to fix that problem tonight. Plenty of men have offered to deflower her but I think I'll do it myself, against her will."

"Zaraki, your turn. Akane, my dear, let's clear the area."

"My fuckin' pleasure." I snarl, gettin' to my feet. The man has the decency to look scared.

"Captain Zaraki? Kenpachi Zaraki?" he asks.

"Yep. I hope you put up a little fight. I'm in a bad mood." I snarl.

***********

Shunsui carries the girl in his arms. She's quiet and tense. "Thanks for the help, Zaraki."

"Harmona woulda wanted me to." I grumble.

"Harmona...Mori?" Akane asks.

"You knew her?" Shunsui asks.

"Yeah, sort of. Her father brought her to his estate sometimes and she'd sneak out to play with me. My father's estate borders his...well did anyway."

"What do you mean did?"

"There was a terrible fire a few years ago." she says, her voice soundin' a little too innocent.

"How'd that start?"

"Oh, I have no clue. Nobody was hurt, except for him. He burned to death. Poor thing."

I smirk. "Vindictive little thing, aren't you?"

She shrugs. "I'm not sure what you mean, Captain Zaraki. How is Harmona?"

"She...passed away a few days ago."

"What!? Oh that's terrible! I'm so sorry! She was so sweet as a kid."

"Zaraki was her husband so it's been rough. They have four little ones."

"Oh!? Harmona always did love kids."

"What're you goin' to do now?" I ask to change the subject. That wound is still too deep.

"Oh...honestly I don't know. I don't really have anywhere to go."

"Akane, when I touched your wrist earlier, did you know you released some reiatsu?" Shunsui asks.

"Yes. I'm not very strong though."

"You're going to the academy. Once you graduate, it's up to you what you do but what you call weak was strong enough to be at least a ninth seat officer."

"I don't-"

"I'll write a letter of recommendation for you."

"Why would you do that for me?"

"Because Harmona was like my child. And because you're such a pretty face."

She blushes. "You're ridiculous but if that's what you're insisting on, then...wait, you're not asking for payment, are you?"

"No, of course not. I don't have any ulterior motive other than helping a pretty girl like you out."

"I smell bullshit." I grunt, turnin' toward my barracks. "Night, Shunsui. Don't come callin' early in the mornin'. I won't answer."

I hear them talkin' for a little while before I get too far away. Great. Yet another piece of tail Shunsui will whine about never gettin'. You'd think he'd learn.

*******

"Captain, there you are! I've been looking everywhere!" Yumichika yells, runnin' to me.

"Get your problem figured out?"

"Captain, you need to go back to her grave."

"Why?"

"Just take her sword and go back there! You'll see what I mean! Please!" he shouts.

"Alright already! Chill the fuck out."

********

I place Okami on her tombstone. "Alright, now what? You're dead. Okami is still here. So what?"

Silence greets me. It would be creepy but, since the graveyard is shielded, it doesn't bother me. There's no ghosts here in Soul Society. I wait patiently for thirty minutes before I decide nothin' is gunna happen so I get to my feet. As I turn, my hakama catch on somethin'. I look to see what it is and a cold chill runs down my back. "It's not fuckin' possible..." I whisper.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update! Had some IRL things going on that needed my attention but I'm back at it now. Thank you for your patience ^.^

"You cannot leave her, Alpha!" Okami snarls around his mouthful of my hakama.

"She's dead!"

"Not dead! She cannot die as long as I am alive, you idiot man!"

"She said if you were broken she'd die!"

"And so I've let her think that! I'd have to be destroyed completely for her to die permanently. Not a scrap left. However, when I'm broken, she does die in a sense. You'll like her better now, I'm sure, but will have to work with her. Now dig, damn you!"

He releases me and sets to work diggin'. I wanna beat the hell out of the fuckin' bastard but I get diggin' beside him. If she really is alive...if Okami is here, she has to be. She's alive!

********************

We finally get to her coffin and I bust the sucker open. No sign of decay at all, not that I was expectin' any. She looks like she's asleep. I put my fingers to her neck. I can barely feel it but...there's a pulse.

"See?" Okami chuckles. "Bring her home, Alpha. She was damaged but I know you can figure it out."

Damaged? The fuck is he talkin' about? I glance at the sky and sigh. I'll get home barely before dawn probably...

***********

I get her home and set her on the bed. This will cause a panic if anyone walks in to see her in the bed with me. What the fuck should I do? I can't lock the door or-

"Daddy...why you bring mama home? You said she was dead." Takeshi says, peerin' around my legs. He catches sight of Okami and throws his arms around the damn wolf. "Mama's alive! Kami wouldn't be here if she was dead!"

"Shh. You're the only one that knows right now, kiddo. It's a secret til I figure out what to do. Mama is alive but not really here. She's sleepin'."

"Like Sweeping Booty?"

"What?" How in the hell does someone sweep with their ass?

"Sweeping Booty! The pwincess that slept a long time when she poked her finger on a needle."

"Oh, Sleepin' Beauty."

"Yeah!"

"It's kinda like that, I guess."

He climbs in the bed and snuggles up to her. "Too bad you're not a pwince, Daddy. All you'd have to do is kiss her to wake her up."

"You think so, huh?" I chuckle.

I hear the front door open and shut quietly, catchin' a glimpse of Orihime's hair turnin' into the nursery. "Takeshi, you stay here. I'm gunna go talk to Orihime so if she glances in here she's not scared."

"Ok. I cuddle wif mama."

I smile a little. "Okami, you stay too."

"As if you have any authority over me." he yawns before layin' down.

I head to the nursery and grab Mitsuki for feedin'. "Mornin'."

"Good morning, Kenny." Orihime says softly, lookin' troubled.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"I must be feeling things but I could swear I feel Harmona here in the house."

"Don't freak out. Okami appeared and told me she is alive so....I dug her up and brought her home. She's got a pulse so she is alive but she hasn't woke up yet."

"Oh, Kenny! That's wonderful! If you want me to take a look at her before I leave, I can. I wondered where you were last night." she laughs, takin' it better than I thought.

"I don't think it's necessary. She just seems to be asleep or in a coma maybe. Okami isn't worried about it." I say before puttin' Mitsuki on my shoulder and pattin' her back gently. Once she burps, I set her down for her diaper change. My little one is already back asleep by the time I get her swaddled. "She reminds me of a damn cat. Eat, shit then sleep some more."

"Babies are just like kittens. Give them a little more time. I have a feeling Ryden will be the one to keep an eye on. He has an awful temper already." Orihime giggles.

"Must get that from his mom."

"Speaking of...go on back. I've got these two handled."

"Thanks, Orihime."

"My pleasure."

I head back to my bedroom and Takeshi waves me over. "Mama's cold."

I notice her shiverin' and the blue tint to her skin. "Okami..."

"She's fine. You forget her blood hasn't circulated for nearly four days now. It's cold, therefore she's cold. Warm her up and she might wake faster."

"How do you suggest I do that? The way I used to?"

"You disgusting pig. Run her a hot bath. Sleeping with corpses is dirty, Alpha."

"I'm gunna murder you!" I snarl, earnin' me a laugh.

"Can I go see Kakku?" Takeshi asks. "I hungry."

"Yeah, go on. I'm gunna see if I can't get mama to wake up."

Tak runs from the room, calling a good morning to Orihime as she emerges from the nursery. She watches him go before crossing the hall to this room. "Kenny...are you sure that you should wake her? I mean in all the movies I've seen, whenever someone dies and gets brought back, they're....different. Usually worse than they were."

"She is better than she was though part of her is missing and I can't seem to find it." Okami grumbles.

"The hell do you mean?" I turn on him, fists clenched.

"The scientist when he fixed me...he took something from her. Memories. He told me, though I don't think he realized even broken I could hear him, that she's better off without them. Less volatile were his exact words. But I'm not sure what memories he took yet."

"She's not a fuckin' play thing! That-"

"Maybe it's not a bad thing, Kenny. What if he took her bad memories from growing up? She won't be so scared anymore." Orihime says, puttin' a finger to her chin.

I eye the idiotic human girl. "You figured that out, huh? She tried to hide her fear so hard."

"She tried so hard it made it more obvious, I think. Anyway, I'm gunna go grab some breakfast. I'll be back in a couple hours. Call me if you need me sooner."

"Sure. Go on, go flirt with the peacock."

She blushes and nearly trips over her own feet as she leaves. I glance down at Harmona again and brush her hair back from her forehead.

"Go run the bath, Alpha. She won't wake until her blood starts warming." Okami sighs softly.

"You and her are a lot alike, you know. Always so damn bossy."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

I go get the water runnin' before goin' back to her. Okami has stripped her of her funeral kimono and the wound in her chest stops me dead. "Why?"

"I can't heal her while her body is in this stasis. I can only speed her body's natural healing. I can't do it on my own if her body is dormant."

I lift Harmona in my arms and head for the tub. I got the water hot like she used to like it, hopin' it will help her faster. I need to figure out what fuckin' memories Mayuri took. I slip down into the water with her and massage her arms and legs, tryin' to get things flowin'. "Come on, Wolf. Come back to me." I whisper in her ear....

I've had to refill the tub twice now, each time once the water had cooled past the point of bein' helpful. Her skin has lost the blue tint finally. Suddenly she takes a deep breath, causin' her to cough. "Easy. You're alright." I say, continuin' to rub her arms and legs.

Her eyes fly open and water flies as she scrambles to her feet, puttin' herself in the corner. She stares at me in confusion. "Who are you?"

"That's about as funny as a case of the shits." I growl.

"Ok, that's really gross but I'm being serious. Who the fuck are you and why the hell am I in the tub naked with you?"

I blink. "Harmona-"

"Is that my name?"

"Do you know where you are?!"

She looks around. "In a bathroom with some weird pervert apparently." Okami sticks his head in the door and she looks relieved. "Okami, what the hell did you get me into now?"

"What do you remember?" he asks.

She closes her eyes. "You, obviously...uhm...Swee, I remember him. And Ukitake. We've been in the forests of Zaraki a really long time. How'd we end up here?" Her eyes open again.

"He's removed more of your memories than need be. That man there is your mate, your alpha. You had five children, one who died three days ago when you did during a Hollow attack."

She looks back at me, her eyes travelin' over my entire body before she gets a sharky grin on her face. "You're shitting me, Okami. This big guy? How'd he win from old man Yamma?"

"The old man is dead."

"Come on, Okami. You're really pulling my leg today."

"I'm not jesting, child. Ukitake fell in battle as well. Swee is Yamamoto's successor as head captain. Your mother died as well."

"What?! Stop lying to me! Nobody could kill her. She's the Kenpachi for fuck's sake!"

"Your mate did."

She glares at me. I glare back. "You don't deserve her title. You look pathetic." she snorts before climbin' out of the tub and dryin' off. "As for this 'mate' thing, forget about it. Not in my life. I don't know you and don't want to. Okami, if I had babies, why do I look so skinny?"

"Because you're an idiot who won't eat. Apologize." Okami snarls.

"No. And you can't make me." she snarls back.

"You will or I will refuse to play with you anymore, idiotic girl."

"I don't wanna play with you anyway, jerk!" she yells before shiftin' into her wolf and attackin' him.

Well, this didn't go as fuckin' planned. That goddamn Mayuri is gunna fix this if I have to kill him. I get dried off before catchin' the wolves and throwin' them outside...right past Shunsui. "Come in. We got a lot to talk about." I sigh. The furious snarlin' and howlin' outside, even through the shut door, tells me she's really fightin'. She's not playin' with Okami.

"Kenpachi, what the fuck is going on!?" Shunsui yells.

"Mayuri fixed Okami. I took him to her grave. Okami came out and told me she was alive and I dug her out and brought her home. She doesn't remember anythin' except you, Ukitake and Okami. Okami tried to bring her up to speed and she refused to believe him on anythin'. She didn't even know her damn name!"

"So she doesn't know who you are?"

"She doesn't believe Okami that I'm her husband. Or The Kenpachi for that matter."

"And the kids?"

"She seemed to believe that a little better but not really."

"We've got to figure it out."

"Mayuri took the memories. Okami heard him mutterin' about it."

"Why?"

"Somethin' about she is better off without them."

A loud, pained yelp and things die down outside finally. We get to our feet to have a look, walkin' out on the porch. Okami is red with his own blood but Harmona is down, at least one of her legs broken by the look of things.

"You apologize. Now." Okami snarls in her face.

She bites his nose before draggin' herself away from him, toward he tree. There's a blood trail under her as she passes, her back leg, the same one that was dislocated durin' her last pregnancy, draggin' behind her as she goes. I'm gunna have to tame her all over again, apparently.

"Well, here we go again." Shunsui sighs, echoin' my thoughts.

"Mayuri better fix this." I grumble.

"You will have to fight her and beat her again, Alpha. She's like speaking to a tree. Won't listen to a thing I say." Okami growls, glarin' in her direction.

"Not while she's injured I won't. That's no fun." I snort.

"The sooner you do it, the better. However, I agree. There's no fun fighting a creature who can't fight back when someone else has already wounded it."

"Okami, how? How can she possibly be alive!?" Shunsui asks.

"I keep telling you men that she will never die while I'm alive. That's final."

Somethin' clicks in my brain but it can't be. No fuckin' way. "You're her demon, aren't you?"

He glares at me. "Do not insult me. I am no demon."

"Heal her. You said the quicker I fight her, the easier this will be." I grunt. I smell bullshit. He's not tellin' the entire truth.

"As you command." He says before disappearin'.

"You caught that, right?" Shunsui asks quietly.

"The fidget and the over defensiveness? Yeah, I caught it. This just got a helluva lot messier."

************

I watch her as she watches the men train. She's got a look on her face, almost like she's lookin' for weakness. She used to get this look but only when trainin' with the men herself, not when watchin'. Has her instincts changed that much with the loss of her memories? I get my answer when one of the men step too close to her and she tackles him, pinnin' him to the ground with Okami at his throat. "You're dead." she growls.

The idiot actually pisses himself. "I'm sorry, ma'am! Please don't kill me! I don't wanna die yet." he whimpers pathetically.

"You wouldn't even make a proper meal for me, as skinny as you are, coward. Don't lose focus of your surroundings. You are in squad eleven, for fuck's sake. If you can't fight then get the hell out." she snarls before releasin' him. "And the next time you piss yourself, I'll rub your nose in it. I may be feral but even I don't piss in the floor."

She storms out the door of the dojo and I decide to follow her. She heads to the trainin' grounds. "Hey!"

"What? Got a problem with me trying to help in my own way?" she snaps.

"Not at all. Actually, you look tense. Thought maybe you'd wanna fight to wind down a little. I'm bored anyway."

"Why bother? You're hoping to pin me against the wall and rape me probably. Pervert."

"I'm not a fuckin' rapist, bitch."

"Sure. And I'm the fucking tooth fairy."

"A wager then. I beat you, you admit I'm your alpha and talk to Shunsui to get a history lesson, since you won't listen to Okami."

"And if I win?"

"Whatever you want."

"If I win, I want you to stop pestering me."

"Fine. You win I'll never speak another fuckin' word to you."

"I didn't mean it that way. I mean if I win, I want you to stop following me everywhere and watching me."

"Why does it bother you so bad?"

"Because it's creepy. I don't know you but you watch me like a hawk. Like you want to eat me."

"Oh, I do want to eat you, Wolf. I wanna devour you until you remember me."

She fuckin' smirks at me. "A perverted tease, you are."

"You have no fuckin' idea."

***********

I slam her back into a wall and she retaliates by deckin' me in the mouth as hard as she can. She's wore out. I'm gettin' there too. We've been at it for three hours now. Her punch, however, is like a fuckin' fly bite. More annoyin' than painful. At the start, she'd been the one to say no swords because she was mad at Okami and didn't wanna use him out of spite for him. So, we've been fightin' hand to hand. I'm sore and bloody. I can only imagine how she feels. She hasn't made a word of complaint though. I put my knee between her legs and brace her up a couple inches. "Give in. You're exhausted."

"Never!" she yells before head buttin' me. It backfires on her though. Her forehead strikes my bottom jaw, my teeth splittin' her skin wide open. "Fuck!"

"See?" I tease.

"Fine. You fucking win but only because there's blood in my eyes and I can't fucking see, you prick. You are my alpha, for now." she sighs.

"Good. Now, go talk to your Swee."

"He's not 'my' Swee. He's just a friend who helped raise me...I can't remember why though."

"Talk to him and you'll figure it out."

I release her but to my surprise she punches me in the gut, doublin' me over. "I won't make this easy, you know. Don't let your guard down around me and you'll be fine."

"I'm gunna enjoy makin' you fuckin' scream for me, bitch." I snarl.

Her smile lights her face. It's never done that before except the day of our weddin'. "Maybe I'll play with you again someday, Captain. For now, you gave me an order so I'm gunna go do it." She pats my cheek in a smart ass manner before dartin' off. She ain't usin' shunpo...has she forgotten she knows how?

***********

"She came back and went straight to her tree. Yumichika and Ikkaku have tried speaking with her but she won't respond." Arimaki reports before sighin'. "Sir, would it be a bad idea to let Takeshi go speak with her? I've been keeping him distracted for most of the day but maybe he can break her silence?"

"Yeah, but keep an eye on them both. With her memories gone and her behavior completely off, I don't wanna risk her hurtin' him." I sigh.

"Of course, sir."

I watch through the window of the office as Takeshi climbs in her lap. She seems startled for a minute before she lays her cheek on his head and holds him close to her. I let out a sigh of relief. At least she's not reactin' badly...

"Kenny, I think you and Harmona should go away for tonight. Yumichika and I are going to take care of the kids and Ichigo is bringing Kazue to visit. She seems really...subdued today. Something must be bothering her." Orihime says quietly when I walk in the door.

"You noticed too, huh? Alright. I'm almost outta sake anyway so I bring her with me and see if I can't get her talkin'." I say, turnin' again.

"Be easy with her. This is a lot to take in with no memories to prove what anyone is saying is true."

"Tch. You have me confused with someone else if you think I'm gunna be nice to her. I'm not nice."

She giggles. "Yeah, you're nice, in your own way. Have fun. I'll be here."

I head for her tree and hold my hand out. "Come on. Need you to come with me."

She glares half-heartedly at me before getting to her feet. I lead her out of the barracks. It's after dark but she keeps me in sight easily. "Harmona, you need to stay close to me for the next few days. Central Forty Six has issued an order that if you're caught alone, you're to be arrested and thrown in the Muken." I say.

"Shunsui told me. I understand why too. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I...think I remember a little about the battle but Most of it is just snips. I wasn't planning to leave the barracks anyway. I need my memories back. I can't smell lies from any of you but...it's just hard to wrap my head around with no proof of what you're saying." she replies.

I turn and lift her hand. "This ring is all the fuckin' proof you need that you're my wife." I snap, holdin' up my hand so she can see mine. "I'm not a damn rapist and you accusin' me of that just pisses me off, woman."

"How the hell am I supposed to know? I've been dead for three days and woke up with no memories, naked in the bathtub with you." she says, her cheeks gettin' a little red.

I yank her down a dead end alley. "Tell me what you think of me so I can put it to fuckin' rest."

She blushes again. "Order it. Elsewise you'll never know."

"I'm orderin' you to tell me what you think of me."

"I think you're strong, but you have a weakness for people you care about, though you try to hide it. I think, after our fight today, you did deserve the title you inherited from my mother. I think I don't know how to feel. My emotions are jumbled and confused when I look at you."

"Tell me, Wolf."

"I think, even with no memories, my heart knows who it belongs to, even if my brain wants to fight it." she says it in a way that makes it sound like she really doesn't wanna say it.

"And who might that be?"

She clocks me again, causin' my teeth to snap together as she darts under my arm. I smirk. "You didn't order me to tell you, Captain, so, I won't. I told you this isn't going to be easy." She laughs.

"Woman, I'm gunna enjoy makin' you scream for me." I growl before followin' her back out into the busier road. I like this new version of my woman.


	36. Chapter 36

"Captain Zaraki. Figured you'd be coming to see me soon. I've got your sake supply ready."

I pay the man and take the trunk of bottles. "Thanks. Same time next month?"

"Yes, captain."

I go back out the shop door and Harmona starts leadin' me home. She's frownin' again. "What?"

"What what?"

"You got somethin' on your mind again, idiot. What is it?"

"All the stares. I don't like being stared at. I understand I was dead but it's not a reason to stare at me. Unless I'm decaying or something. Do I have a big ugly hole in my face or something?"

"No. You were only dead three days. Not long enough to get a hole in your face."

"Good."

She's silent the rest of the way back to the barracks. I head to the house to put my sake away. She doesn't follow me though. When I'm done puttin' the bottles away, I find her sittin' on the porch step. "The hell're you sittin' out here for?"

"Well, I wasn't sure if I was allowed inside or not."

"Why would you not be?"

"Because I'm crazy and feral?"

"Get in here."

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"Why not? You afraid of me?"

"No. I'm not afraid of you."

"You sleep in my bed. That's an order."

"You're a jerk!" she snarls.

"Get in here."

She grudgingly gets to her feet and storms inside, mumblin' under her breath. I follow her into the bedroom where she sighs before turnin' to me. "I'm not having sex with you. I don't remember you."

"Wasn't askin'. I want my wife, not some amnesiac." I growl.

"I smell a lie....you like me." she smirks.

"I like your new confidence. Before your memories got taken, you were clingy and a little bit annoyin', always downin' yourself and shit. 'I'm not worthy of love' blah blah blah."

"So was it an arranged marriage? You don't seem the type to marry someone like I used to be willingly."

"No. I fell in love with you. I don't want you back the way you were, afraid and full of fuckin' doubt. I just want you to remember me and the kids."

She looks down at her feet a minute. "I remembered Takeshi. Just little flashes. Something about a bathtub...and a twin....Michiko?"

"She was eaten by a Hollow right in front of you durin' that battle four days ago. That's why Kuchiki killed you. You went ape shit and started killin'-"

"Swee told me. That's what a berserker does. And I know you already knew what I am. Captain Kuchiki had every right to kill me and I'm glad he did."

I go into the closet and grab her a pair of her sleep shorts and a tank top she used to wear when she was in the post birth stage. It'll be a little baggy on her but I figure she won't sleep naked anymore. Which fuckin' sucks. "Here."

She stares at them before takin' them and headin' to the bathroom to change. When she comes back out, my mouth instantly goes dry. She's got the shorts on, hangin' off her hips and the tank top is huggin' her tits. She's either cold or somethin' has her excited, judgin' by how her nipples are. I tear my gaze off of her but it's too late, she's already noticed.

"Do you have a thing for tits, Captain?" she teases.

"Just yours."

"Maybe I'll let you touch them...if you tell me about the first time we actually met. Shunsui didn't tell me and told me to ask you."

"Your body isn't a fuckin' payment option." I growl.

"But it's all I have to barter. And surely you wouldn't tell me if I just asked?"

"I would, actually."

She walks forward and presses her chest against mine. "Tell me."

****Harmona POV****

I sit in the darkness. I can't stay in bed with Zaraki. Not after he told me everything I should remember. I mean, obviously I'm better off without the memories but to know how weak I was has my stomach upset. So, here I am, outside the Kuchiki mansion, watching his prized koi fish and trying like hell to remember. Zaraki hadn't even offered to touch me after he told me, which might be a good thing. I still don't remember him.

"You are trespassing." a man says behind me.

"Sorry." I sigh, but make no move. "Your koi are beautiful and I needed a quiet place to think."

"Captain Kyoraku mentioned your missing memories to the captains earlier." the man says, sitting a foot away from me.

"Are you the Kuchiki that killed me during my rampage?"

"If I am?"

"Thank you. I know I was different before but I don't want to be responsible for destroying the world. I know I need punished though. Will you take me to the Muken, like they ordered?"

"I will not. As you have no memories of the incident, you are not the woman they seek."

I glance at him, taking in his long raven hair and dark eyes. He doesn't look at me, just seems to be lost in thought. "What's it like?"

"To what to you refer?"

"Sitting with someone you killed. How does it feel?

"Are you trying to test me?"

"No, I'm genuinely curious."

"It is strange. Especially knowing you have no memory of my killing you, but you thanked me for it."

"Well, I've always been odd, from what Captain Zaraki and Captain Kyoraku told me earlier." I laugh a little.

"Do you still love that man?"

"I don't remember him but...I believe so, yes. My heart beats faster when his eyes meet mine, and harder when he speaks. His voice comforts the rage I feel even now. He is my alpha."

"Why do you feel rage?"

"I'm a berserker. I always feel rage. Never bad enough to act on but when it's triggered, it's explosive. As you've witnessed."

"Yes."

"Did it scare you?"

"Fear is useless in battle."

"Indeed."

We sit in silence for a few moments longer before I get to my feet. "Thank you for not chasing me off. I really do enjoy watching your koi."

"I've never offered this to anyone outside the family but if it keeps your rage in check, you may return to watch them."

"Thank you."

"Go home and sleep now."

I smirk. "As you order."

He glares at me for my cheek before I take off running. I wish I could use shunpo. That'd be so much faster...

When I get back home, Zaraki is waiting for me on his porch. "What did I tell you earlier?"

"I went to look at Kuchiki's koi...he seems nice enough. A little snotty but he said he wasn't going to turn me in, since I had no memories." I shrug.

"Come here."

I march over to him. Where he's sitting his face is in line with my chest and I see him eyeing me again. "What?"

"You're not to leave the barracks on your own." he growls.

"Since you've ordered it, I won't." I sigh irritably.

"Especially not in your pajamas."

"Are you a little jealous that maybe Kuchiki got an eye full? Hmm?" I tease.

"He's watched us fuck before so not really. It's anyone else who mighta been watchin' you that concerns me."

That startles me. "He's watched us?"

"Yeah. The first time you used your bankai in front of me. I fucked you good when you dropped it because it was fuckin' hot. He was tryin' to figure out what the hell was goin' on and called us heathens."

"Oh. Hmm,, that actually sounds kinda fun actually." I tease, licking my lips.

"What does?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm going back to bed. I'm awful sleepy now, Captain." I laugh, walking by him and into the house. He follows me and locks the door behind himself when he enters the bedroom. "What're you doing?"

"You're teasin' me on purpose." he growls.

"Is this because I said you could touch my tits earlier? The offer is still open."

"I don't want just your tits. I want your whole body."

"Not yet. I still have no idea who you are, Captain."

"Then I ain't touchin' you. Now, get in that bed and stay there the rest of the night."

I frown and nod. I've touched a nerve, obviously. I can smell his anger. I decide to let it go for the night. I want him, no doubt in my mind, but I want to figure him out first. As I get comfortable in bed, he climbs in next to me, leaving space between us. I feel the heat from his body on my back and it feels familiar. So familiar that I close my eyes, letting my guard down to sleep.

**********

When I wake, I'm hot. My back is against what feels like a furnace. My eyes open and I see Zaraki's hand in front of my face. He's held me through the night apparently. I roll over and stare at him. His eye eventually opens. "What?"

"You actually held me?"

"Yeah, and?"

"You just don't seem like the cuddly type. But it's nice waking up in your arms."

"You rolled over to me." he says defensively.

"And?"

"Shut up and go back to sleep."

"Is that an order?"

"Unless you intend to fuck me, yes."

I smirk. "I'll take door number one. I don't think you can handle me in bed."

"We've had this argument before, woman. And you lost."

"I never lose, Captain. Ever."

He pulls me closer to him and my eyes widen. He smirks. "Wanna try me? I'll have you screamin' my name and beggin' for mercy."

I push away from him and get out of bed. "Fight me again."

"It ain't even daylight out." he grumbles.

"If you win, I'll have sex with you. If I win, you let me trim your hair."

He frowns. "Fine."

I've won already and smirk. "I never gave you a time or day of when I'd have sex with you. So you've already lost." I snicker before going outside.

****Kenpachi POV****

That damn sneaky ass woman. I walked right into that. But I still want to fight her. I won't give in easy. I get to my feet and grab Nozarashi. I'll fight her on even grounds. I don't bother with clothes. I'll fight in my boxers since she is still in her damn pajamas. I follow her to the trainin' ground and don't give her time to prepare for my onslaught. Our swords collide in a shower of sparks....

I slash at her again and the tip of my blade cuts her tank top in half. It also cuts her chest, though only a little. She grins and throws the remaining bit of her shirt off. "If you wanted to see my tits, you only had to ask nicely."

"You woulda said no."

She dashes forward and manages to get between me and my sword, throwin' herself on me. Her fist collides with my jaw hard enough to chip one of my molars. I headbutt her, makin' her nose bleed. She yelps when I pin her against the wall, the blocks crackin'. Her eyes meet mine defiantly and I expect her to throw another punch but she shocks me. "Victory is yours again, Alpha."

"Why? You're not too injured to fight."

"True, but I know when my energy is too low to defeat you. You forget, I haven't eaten since before I died." Just to prove her point, her belly growls loudly.

I smirk but press my hips harder against hers. "But you're in just the right position here."

"I never said when, Captain. Just know it'll be one day." she blushes but I can see the look in her eye change from irritation to lust.

"I'll settle for an appetizer."

"Huh?"

I capture her mouth with mine, ignorin' the blood on her lips. She responds quickly with a bite to my lip. I return the favor. She hasn't lost her likin' for pain, apparently, because she moans and pulls me closer to her. Her tongue slips into my mouth, caressin' mine before she bites it teasingly. I pull away, not wantin' to push my limits. She eyes me and smirks. "That one day may come sooner than you think if you kiss me in such a fashion again, Captain. Then it'll be you who's screaming my name." she giggles before dartin' under my arm and flittin' away.

****Harmona POV****

I finish eating and head back outside to watch Zaraki train the men. I've avoided him since this morning, not trusting myself to keep my hands off of him. The hunger for him is driving me mad since the kiss earlier. If this is how it was before, I want it back. I watch his muscles move. He's only in his hakama. Those abs...I avert my eyes.

"You know, you could just take him home and have your way with him." A raven haired man with feathers next to his eyes says, sitting beside me.

"I'm sorely tempted."

"You've changed. For the better, I believe. Before you were coy and teasing. Now you're more open. Not as guarded."

"I take it we were friends?"

"Nearly as close as siblings, my dear. My name is-"

"Yumichika." I interrupt then flap my hands excitedly. "I remember your name!" I say, throwing my arms around him.

"Good. Progress. What else to do you remember?" he asks seriously.

"You painted me once. You and a big boobied blond."

"Your wedding day. Edible body paint. A present for Captain Zaraki." he chuckles.

"You've gone shopping with me more than once....once for lingerie for him."

"Yes...anything else?"

I close my eyes, wincing as my head starts to hurt. "You were there when...I gave birth the first time." I groan.

"Don't force it. The memories will return on their own I'm sure."

I hold my head and nod. "Probably."

I notice Zaraki watching me. He catches the wooden blade aimed at his shoulder and flings the man wielding it out the door without taking his eyes off me. "Again!" he orders. This will be a long day of training. I decide to go home after another hour has passed.

I'm greeted by the sound of infants crying. I investigate and a girl, human by the smell of things, glances at me. "Harmona! I've got the-"

"Are these mine?" I ask, eyeing the three babies. Only one has blue in it's hair. The other two have white.

"Yes, they are. Identical twin girls and their twin brother."

I go directly to the boy and lift him in my arms. "Ryden."

"You remembered?!"

"I'm getting bits and pieces back." I sigh. "Why are they crying?"

"Oh, it's time for their milk."

I nod towards a trio of bottles filled with an off white liquid. "I take it this is what they need?"

"Yes...unless you're still producing?" she asks almost hopefully.

"I don't think I am. I haven't seen any indications of it anyway."

"I thought that might be the case. It's ok. This is a milk replacement. Some human women have to use it when their milk doesn't come in or isn't enough for their baby."

I nod and put a bottle in Ryden's mouth. I watch him as he drinks, marveling at his eyes. They're beautiful. My color blue but with flecks of green. "Captain Zaraki is their father?"

"Yes. You two make gorgeous babies."

"Who are you, exactly?"

"Oh, my name is Orihime. Captain Zaraki is a friend, sort of. He's letting me stay and help with these three since his friend and I care divorcing."

"I see. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The love my husband and I had at one time just fizzled out. It was never strong like you and your husband's."

"I can't even remember him. I want to but the memories are gone. I'm getting little snippets back, every now and again, but that's it." I sigh. Ryden finishes his bottle and I get him on my shoulder to burp, instinct telling me what to do. He lets out a big one and I laugh. "God of thunder indeed." I say before laying him in his crib and changing his diaper. As I clean him, more memory flashes assault me, making my headache worse.

"Are you ok?" Orihime asks gently.

"The memories coming they way they are are giving me a headache." I sigh.

"Do you want me to heal it?"

"No. That's alright. I'll take something for the pain when it gets too troublesome."

She hands me one of the girls and the remainder of her bottle. "Mitsuki. She's a fast eater."

I smile. "Takes after her father." I say as I adjust my hold. Orihime wasn't kidding. Mitsuki finishes the bottle and, without urging from me burps and spits up a little. I grab a cloth and wipe her chin and my hand clean before changing her diaper too. She stays a little fussy so when I finish I bring her back to my chest and hold her there. The sound of my heartbeat seems to settle her down. "I think I'll take her with me for a nap."

"That's good. She's been the most fussy since you've been gone. She misses her mommy." Orihime smiles.

I nod and head to the bedroom. I rearrange the pillows on the bed so she's got a barrier around her in case I should roll. I don't want to hurt her. I do keep my hand on her little belly and hum to her softly. She smiles at me as her eyes close finally and her little body relaxes into sleep. I find myself sinking into sleep too, lulled into it by the peace I feel inside.

****Kenpachi POV****

I gaze at Harmona and Mitsuki fondly from the door of the bedroom. Even with no memories, she still sleeps just fine with a baby near her. I walk to the bed and gently move my daughter, carryin' her back to the nursery. Orihime is asleep in the rockin' chair, the other two infants sound asleep in their cribs. Mitsuki doesn't wake as I set her in hers before turnin' back and goin' back to the bedroom with Harmona. I settle in after movin' my pillow back where it was, puttin' my body tight against hers.

"Come to molest my boobs, huh?" she teases softly.

"I wanna molest you, not just your tits." I growl.

"I remember little things. I remember who Yumichika is. And the triplets....still nothing about you. It's starting to piss me off."

"Why?"

"I want to remember you."

"It'll come with time, maybe. I'm glad some of your memories are returnin'."

She rolls onto her back before grabbin' my hand and puttin' it above her heart. I notice the beat is fast, almost like how I felt when I asked her to marry me. "Molest me all you want, Captain. Maybe I'll remember things."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Oh, you poor man. I hear men of your age tend to have performance issues."

"You're older than I am, idiot."

"So you're not into cougars, huh? That's too bad. I suppose I'll have to find some other poor sap to-"

"Shut up. You're pissin' me off."

"Maybe if I piss you off enough that tiny little penis will get hard and actually fuck me." she snarls. "Oh wait, I forgot, you don't have it in you."

"Woman, I'm gunna fuck you so damn hard you won't have a voice for a week."

"Promises are just promises until you fill them."

I'm gunna enjoy breakin' her again.


	37. Chapter 37

He won't touch me....still hasn't for the month I've been back to life. No matter how many times I've riled him, provoked him or challenged him, he still hasn't. I'm not sure why unless he's waiting for my memories to come back. I don't know why they haven't about him. I remember everything else except this Mori person I killed. But...not him. Little events or words trigger the memories but nothing has triggered the memories of him. I continue watching him train the men and sigh.

"Problems with the husband, sis?" Renji whispers in my ear as he sits beside me and watches.

"Hi, Rooster. Sort of but I don't know if you wanna hear it. It's pretty weird." I laugh.

"Well, since your husband is busy and all I'm supposed to be doing is delivering reports, I've got time."

"I remember everything except this Mori person...and him."

"Oh....that must be difficult. You are married to him after all."

"He...Renji, he won't have sex with me. Not even when I tease him or antagonize him. All he does is kiss me. I just...I want him but it doesn't seem that he wants me."

Renji blushes and coughs a couple times. "Could he be waiting for your memories of him to come back?"

"Maybe. But I don't think they're going to come back. Everything else has come back with a sentence or an action, something has jarred the memory back into existence. But nothing is working. I just...I love him, Renji. What am I doing wrong?"

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No, that seemed like it might be stupid. Actions speak louder than words with him, it seems."

"Have you tried walking around naked?" he chuckles. "If that doesn't make him want you again, I have no clue what will."

"No, I haven't. Thanks for the idea. I'll try it and see."

"The hell are you gettin' her to do now, Abarai?" Zaraki says, looming over us with his arms crossed.

"Oh, nothing! We were just saying that maybe she could start coming to our drinking sessions again. Captain Kyoraku found a new sake to enjoy and I thought she might like it." Renji lies.

Zaraki glares at me but I nod, giving no sign of the stink of Renji's lie. "Yep, that's all it was."

"I'll think about it. You forget, Abarai, Central Forty Six is still after her."

"Swee wouldn't let anything happen to me but you're right. Maybe it should wait." I nod, trying to appease him.

"Well, that might be best. Anyway, Captain, I have some reports for you from my captain. He ordered me to hand them to you and nobody else."

Zaraki takes the papers. "Alright. Scram."

"See you, sis." Renji says before getting to his feet and exiting the dojo.

"I hope you know that I know you were lyin' to me, woman." Zaraki growls before turning away from me.

"I won't tell you the truth unless you fight me again."

He glances over his shoulder, smirking. "Why does it always come to fightin' to get you to open your mouth?"

I shrug. "You won't give me what I want so why should I make it easy on you?"

"The hell're you talkin' about?"

"Fight me." I challenge again.

"What's the wager this time?"

"You win, I'll tell you what Renji was really talking about. I win...you let me do what I want to do."

"Which is?"

"You'll see if you let me win."

"Trainin' grounds." he says before pulling me to my feet.

I lead him there, the men following behind us. "This isn't an official challenge. Just for fun. I have no inclination to take your title."

"Right. Just for fun." he chuckles.

*******

I dodge a slash and cut him in the shin, making him curse. He kicks me, knocking me flying into the wall ten feet behind me. He catches me before I fall, pinning me against the wall. "Tell me." he orders, eyeing a cut on my neck.

"I told him how you didn't seem to want me anymore and he suggested I run around naked." I sigh, blushing crimson.

"Is that what you think?"

"What am I supposed to think? I've done everything but fall on my knees and beg you, Captain."

He releases me. "Keep fightin' me."

"Why? You won."

"Keep it up. I'm havin' fun."

I smell a faint lie but don't comment on it...

I'm laying under the cherry tree, staring at the pond. There's no fish in it, though the water is clean. I can see straight to the bottom, about twelve feet. The fight three days ago had ended with me flat on my ass, as usual. After confessing what Renji had said, my mind had been distracted. I want to cry. He doesn't want me anymore, no matter what he says or how he's been treating me nicely. "Damn it." I sigh.

"Hard to. All outta logs today, Wolf." Ikkaku grunts as he flops down beside me.

"Nice one, smart ass." I laugh.

"What's buggin' you?"

"Nothing worth talking about."

"It's Zaraki, ain't it?"

"Yeah. He won't fuck me and it's pissing me off. Nothing to worry about. I don't remember him so maybe he's a bad lay anyway."

Ikkaku starts cackling. "That's hilarious. I hope you don't get your memories back, honestly. You two were always shacked up bumping uglies."

"I don't remember bumping against you, Ikkaku. Sorry about that."

His face turns red and it's my turn to laugh now. "You'll pay for that!"

"Yeah yeah, I know."

"Anyways, you remember everyone else but not him?"

"No. Nothing about him before I woke up after dying."

"That's really weird. I mean, you're better now than you used to be. But even so, there's probably more memories of him than anyone else that you should have."

"I know. What if I never remember him? I know we're married. Shunsui told me as did Okami. I don't want him to be miserable the rest of his life because I can't remember him. I mean what use is being married if you're not willing to touch your partner?"

"I've seen him kiss ya plenty of times."

"Yeah but I want laid. Kisses are fine and dandy but it doesn't get the job done, Ikkaku."

"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker." he mumbles.

"Oh, so you're telling me to get his giant self plastered?"

"If you're desperate enough."

"Wouldn't that be kinda like rape though?"

"Good point. Scratch that idea then. You'll just have to get your memories back."

I groan. "It's not like I'm not trying! I want them back too. I'm miserable, Ikkaku."

"Why are you miserable? You look happy to me. You're always starin' at him when he ain't looking and most of the men can see you undressing him with your eyes. It's the same with him so I think you're both being stupid." he shrugs.

"You've got a lotta room to holler there, Baldy. What happened with you and Nanao?"

"Nothing! We're still together, she just wants to take things slow. Hell, last night was the first night since we started dating that she even let me hold her hand."

"Is she...Ikkaku, is she afraid of you or something?"

"I think. You gotta admit, Squad Eleven is all a bunch of thugs for the most part. Battle hungry thugs. It doesn't really give us a good reputation with women like Nanao."

"She's a delicate flower, is she?"

"Sort of. She doesn't exactly have a good role model, you know."

"What?"

"Captain Kyoraku. He's always chasing women and making perverted remarks."

"That's an act, I think. He's trying to make most people think he's a horny old fart so they don't take him serious. That way they're caught off guard in battle."

"That's pretty smart." he nods before leaning his head back against my tree. "I like this new you, Wolf. I thought you killing Mori was enough to pull you out of that fear you used to have but apparently it was the memories in your head."

"Yeah...I don't wanna go back to that. All I want back is my memories of my husband. It's awful cold in bed at night, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"He won't even hold me at night. He either puts a pillow between us or goes out to the futon and sleeps. Hell, I've even caught him sleeping on the floor in Tak's room."

"Don't give up on him, Wolf. He's romantically retarded. He never had parents to show him love. He grew up in Zaraki, living for fights. He was basically an animal."

"We're a lot alike then?"

"Yeah. A few differences though. I'm pretty sure Cap'n has a dick and I know for a fact he doesn't have nice tits like yours."

I give him a friendly punch as we both laugh. "You're an idiot."

"Yeah, we both are." he says before passing me a bottle from his pocket.

"Sake?"

"Figured you could use a drink. You look all lonely and girly over here pouting by yourself."

"Like you're one to talk, Curly."

"What did you say?" he says, glaring at me.

"Nothing!" I giggle before taking a drink and passing the bottle back. It has a bit of a pear aftertaste. Nothing terrible. "So, you think Yumichika and Orihime will become a thing?"

"Become? You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"They eat together and she's moved into his quarters. They're together."

"Oh...I never smell him on her, or vice versa."

"Trust me, they're together. Yumichika just covers his tracks well. No dirty, ugly habits from that idiot."

"I remember a lot of the men used to say you and he were a thing."

"What!? No way. He might swing both ways but I don't. I like women."

"It's ok, Ikkaku. I knew that was a lie."

I take another drink when he passes me the bottle. "You know what scares me the most?"

"What?"

"Water. I can't figure out why but I hate water. I'm fine with showers and baths but just looking at the pond, I get a cold chill down my back."

"Water? You, the big, bad, terrifying Wolf of Zaraki? You're afraid of water?"

"I don't like it. I wouldn't call it fear. Maybe a healthy respect?"

"Maybe. Can you swim?"

"I don't know. I doubt it, if I dislike water this much."

"Wanna find out?"

"Not right now. I'm sleepy." I yawn.

"You're always sleepy!"

"I'm old. Old people sleep a lot."

I finish the sake bottle and smirk. "We're out!"

"You sake hog!" he teases before pulling another bottle out.

"We should have a bonfire. I like fire. Is so warm and pwetty." I giggle.

"Are you drunk?"

"No, but this buzz is nice."

He chuckles. "It'd be nice to have a bonfire. It's been awhile since we had one."

I climb into his lap. "Make fire! Fire good!"

"Get off me, you crazy freak!" he yells.

"What the fuck are you two doin'?" Zaraki growls from his spot on the office porch.

"Captain! How long have you been there?" Ikkaku asks. I smell fear from him.

"Long enough. Wolf, get the fuck off him or get a room. Idiot."

I stare at him in shock then throw myself off of Ikkaku. "Totally not what I was going for. I was-"

"Bouncing up and down on him like you were ridin' his dick." he snarls.

"I'm sorry! I wasn't...nevermind. You're right. I'm an idiot. A partially drunk idiot. Excuse me, Ikkaku. Captain." I sigh before getting to my feet and going to the dojo. I start punching a training dummy methodically. My punches aren't hitting where I'm throwing, the sake having messed my aim up. Either that or the thought of the hatred I saw in his eyes did. It hits me then. It's not his waiting for my memories to return. He blames me for Michiko's death. That makes two of us...

****Kenpachi POV****

"Captain, she's a little buzzed. She didn't mean anything and you know I would never want her. She's too...well, she's too much for me. She was excited when-"

"Shut up, Baldy. I ain't mad at you. Not for that anyway." I grunt before sluggin' back an entire bottle of my favorite sake. I pitch the bottle at him when I'm done. "Why the fuck does she talk to you and not me?"

"Maybe because she feels like you don't want her. That's her words not mine. Sir, she said she's miserable because you don't show her any type of affection other than kissing her."

"I can't fuck a woman that doesn't know who I am. I've told her that."

"Oh."

I glare at him. "What the fuck was she in your lap for?"

"You know she likes fire? I mentioned we should have a bonfire soon. It's been awhile. She just got excited for it and jumped on me without thinking. She didn't mean anything by it."

"Then make plans for a fuckin' bonfire. If it'll make her fuckin' happy." I grumble.

"Sir, what's going on?"

"I'm fuckin' pissed she can't remember me! No matter how many times we fight like we used to, nothin' is joggin' her memory. I'm startin' to think she doesn't wanna remember."

"Captain, that's not fair. She does. I know it and I know you know it."

"Shut up, cue ball. Make the arrangements. Maybe somethin' will jog her memory at the fire."

****Harmona POV****

I punch too hard and burst the dummy, the sand spilling all over the floor. Great, yet another thing for him to be pissed at me over. I cut the strings holding the dummy to the post before dragging it off into the pile needing repairs in the corner. Yumichika is a wizard at sewing and usually does the repair work. I head to the closet to grab a new one and spot what the men call the "discipline" rack. There's three different paddles and...I lift the whip. A memory tries to surface. Zaraki has used this on me before. But not in a discipline way. Bent over a wall, counting before he...wait. It's a memory of him! I'm remembering things about him! I won't let on until I remember more though.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch Harmona as she has the triplets out in the courtyard of the barracks. They're all laughin' at her as she makes noises and pretends to crawl after them. They just learned two days ago and still need a lotta work. Especially Mitsuki, the runt. Ashiro and Ryden are growin' big but Mitsuki is visibly smaller than them. She looks a month younger. They're six and a half months old now, which Isane says is early for them to be crawlin' but that's a good thing in my book.

"Sir, today's the day for the bonfire. Any food requests?"

"Barbecue."

"Good. And sake, right?"

"Yes, feather brain."

"Captain, Renji is asking to borrow the kids for the night. He sent a letter this morning with the reports."

"What the hell for?"

"He said the Kuchiki family is showing a new children's film they acquired from the world of the living and have invited Takeshi to watch it with Ichika and, according to him, Captain Kuchiki said to invite all four of them, though he knows the younger ones might be more of a handful."

"Ask her. I don't mind."

Yumichika wanders over to her and she looks startled but, to my surprise, nods. "Bring them and come along then. We'll drop them off and you can help me with food."

"Ok. Sounds fair."

"Wolf!" I yell.

"What!? And stop yelling at me." she growls.

"Come here."

She stomps over and I pull her into kiss. She tries to move it into a sex temptation but I refuse. "Maybe tonight if you get some memories back."

"I'm starting to hate you. You're such a fucking tease!" she snaps before stormin' away with the kids.

I smirk. She's breakin'. A couple more shoves and she'll be there. She thinks I won't fuck her because of her missin' memories. Not even close. I couldn't give a shit about those. I want her to either beg for it or just take it. She's holdin' back. I hope the fire tonight makes her get bolder than even this new her is. Maybe if I piss her off enough she'll take matters into her own hands.

****Harmona POV****

I'm watching the men throw wood on the fire. The flames are getting bigger. Zaraki and Ikkaku are tending to the barbecue and it smells delicious. Orihime and a few others are playing music, she's singing while the men play guitars or flutes or drums. I want to dance, but I'll wait til it's dark.

"Here, Wolfie. Less drink." Maki Maki laughs, flopping down beside my spot by the fire and handing me a large bottle.

"Hey, Maki?"

"Hmm?"

"I wanna get plastered. Is that a bad idea?"

"Not tonight isss not."

"Then let's drink." I smirk.

****Kenpachi POV****

Some people have wandered into out barracks to join the bonfire. I don't care. I'm eatin' the barbecue, as are most people. However, some people are already drunk, most of them mine. I haven't seen Harmona since she stumbled to the house a little while ago. Maki was drinkin' with her and he's laughin' his ass off.

"Arimaki!" I yell finally.

"Sir?"

"What's so damn funny?"

"Wolf said she had to go change to dance for ya, Cap."

"Dance? What-"

"Wow. That's not our wolf, is it?" Ikkaku says, elbowin' me.

I glance up and nearly drop my sake. She's in a long skirt that's got bells around her waist, is longer in the back than the front and a halter style top that cuts off just below her tits. The skirt is black but like an ombre because it turns to her favorite color red at the bottom. The top is red too. She's punned her hair up with a silver chopstick that has bells danglin' off the top of it. And that damn body glitter is rubbed all over in her skin, even her back and face, not just her chest like the weddin'. She's wearin' the yarn on her feet from the weddin' though and I can hear the bells as she walks toward the fire.

"Oooh, Wolfie, you look so hot. Let's dance!" Matsumoto says, hoppin to her feet.

Harmona does somethin' I've never seen her do, curlin' her pointer finger at the other woman flirtaciously. Matsumoto giggles and they start dancin', their bodies rubbin' against eachother in a seductive way.

"Holy shit!" Ikkaku coughs.

I watch as Harmona lets Matsumoto touch her belly, her hands glidin' along my woman's body like I want mine to. I'm caught by surprise when the song ends and Matsumoto kisses her...but she doesn't fight it. If anythin' she's enjoyin' it.

"She is really drunk but that is so fuckin' hot." Ikkaku laughs.

"She's tryin' to bait me, I bet." I say. I won't admit it's workin' though. However, they break apart and Harmona looks directly at me before startin' another dance. Matsumoto has sat down, or fallen down from the look of things, but she's not the only woman up there dancin' anymore. However, her eyes stay on me as she slowly works her way over. By the time she gets to me, someone has taken my empty plate. I watch her as she gyrates her hips seductively in front of my face. "The hell're you doin', Wolf?"

"I don't know. Is it working?" she giggles. My woman never giggles. That explains the fuckin' kiss. She's drunk and belly dancin'. I refuse to answer her and just lean back on my arms to watch her. She continues her dancin', spinnin' in a circle every now and again.

"Captain, take her home." Ikkaku coughs.

"Why?"

"She's causing problems. It's really uncomfortable."

I glare over at my lieutenant and see what he means. The men are mesmerized by my woman and any other woman dancin'. I glance back at her and see the way her eyes are burnin' just like the fire behind her. I manage to get to my feet but she pins me with her body, dancin' on me the way she and Matsumoto did earlier. And, speakin' of the blond hussy, she adds herself to the mix again, bringin' Harmona more sake. But she doesn't give her the bottle. Oh no. She takes a drink then kisses my woman, givin' it to her. I hear Harmona moan softly and growl. That's my damn job. "Matsumoto."

"Captain Zaraki?" she giggles, makin' Harmona giggle too.

"If you're gunna kiss my woman and tease me, take her home."

"Why don't you come with us, Captain."

"No thanks. She ain't mine if she's all over you."

Harmona snarls and grabs my haori. "You're coming with me and that's final, you jackass."

"Make me."

"Rangiku, I think Shuhei was looking for you earlier. Go find him and make his night. I'm going to deal with my husband."

"Have fun." Matsumoto laughs. Why do I get the feelin' I was just played like a fiddle?

Harmona drags me to the house, slammin' the door behind us before grabbin' me and kissin' me, her mouth violent against mine. When she surfaces for air, she has a feral look in her eye.

"What do you want, Harmona?" I ask.

"You're going to fuck me. Right now, Kenpachi." she orders.

"If I refuse?"

"Then I'll make you want me. The way you've been doing things to make me want you and driving me fucking crazy with need. I want your dick inside me, fucking me until I'm raw and overflowing with your cum."

"Do you remember me yet?"

"I have one memory. I've had it for a few weeks now."

"What was it?"

"You whipped me in the dojo before you fucked me. I want to feel that pleasure again. Now."

"What? The whip or-"

"You, inside me, making me scream your name. I'll fight you for it if I have to."

"No need. One memory is better than none."

She comes forward for a kiss again but stops and holds her head. "I feel dizzy."

"You drank too much, you idiot."

"Will you at least hold me!? I'm your wife, you idiot! I deserve to be loved by you." she starts cryin'.

I kiss her before liftin' her in my arms and carryin' her to bed. I curl up beside her, pullin' her against my chest. "Sleep, Wolf. We'll revisit this issue in the mornin'."

"I love you!"

"Love you too. Sleep!"

Only my idiot self would pass this chance to fuck her but I need her wide awake and her brain workin' on all cylinders.


	38. Chapter 38

I wake in Zaraki's arms for the first time in the three months I've been awake. But the burning need from earlier isn't gone. It's still dark outside so I know damn good and well I've only been asleep for a little while. One look out the curtains confirms my suspicions, as there are still a few men passed out around a slowly dwindling fire. A soft grunt behind me makes me turn slightly. Zaraki is sound asleep, looking peaceful for once. I take this time to really look at him. From the high cheek bones, to the scar on his eye, to the black mane that is his hair. Each little detail of what makes him him just makes me love him more.

I can't help myself. I slide my body as tight against his as I can get. He's still asleep but his arm locks around me, pulling me in as his he's trying to make me melt and consume me. I gently put my leg over his hip and bite back a gasp. If this is what he's got, no wonder we were always off "bumping uglies" as Ikkaku said. Wait a minute. Why is he like this though? He must be having dreams about fighting or something. Isn't that why all men get hard ons?

"The hell are you doin', Wolf?" he grumbles, not opening his eye.

"Debating on tying you up and using you for my pleasure." I laugh innocently.

"Is that so?" He smirks, still without opening his eye.

I kiss him, running my hands through his hair. He growls a little before biting my lip. I return the favor, drawing a little blood. He traps my head against his, his hand holding the back of my head in a vise-like grip. His tongue caresses mine as he rolls us, pinning me with his weight. I feel his hands touching my body, making my skin burn. The bells on my waist jingle as he pulls at the skirt. I lift my hips, allowing him to slide the skirt off of me. His kiss takes on a new urgency suddenly, taking my breath away. His hand unties the knot at my neck before pulling the material of my top down, exposing my breasts to him. He surfaces for air, a feral look in his eye before his mouth claims a nipple, sucking and licking.

A memory flashes in my head. Him teasing me after having the twins, about how sweet my milk was. About how addictive it was before doing exactly what he's doing to me now. "Captain...please. More." I sigh softly.

"More? Are you greedy for me?" he teases.

"Yes. I just got another memory....please."

"I want to devour you." is all the warning I get before he moves down my body, laying claim to my pussy with his mouth. My hands fist in the sheets as I fight the urge to move my hips. As his tongue focuses on my clit, another memory surfaces. One of me getting angry and asking if he wants me to sit on his face...then later that day he made me his for the first time, using his mouth first before deflowering me. I blush at the memory, gasping for air as my body begins to overheat. He lifts his head a little. "Don't fight me, Wolf."

"I need you. Please." I moan softly.

He smirks. "Not yet, woman. I've missed how you taste." He lowers his head again and his tongue starts working harder on me. He's focusing on my clit more than anything. I'm moaning loudly now, squirming enough that he's forced to hold my hips still. That feeling of heat fills my body again and I bite my lip to try to fight it. I let out a half scream as it feels like a dam inside me breaks, the pleasure overwhelming my senses as I lose myself in it. I hear him making noises as he cleans me up while I'm floating down from my orgasm. More memories flash in my head and I close my eyes.

"You're not goin' to sleep on me, are you?" he growls.

"No! Kenpachi, please! Fuck me now!"

He lays back down on his back, his arms under his head. "Come get me, woman. I won't resist. Much."

I climb on top of him and kiss him urgently, holding his head still with my hands. His hands fly down to my hips, lifting me slightly before he teases me, entering me slowly, inch by inch. I have to lift my head, gasping for air around the pleasure overwhelming me. When he finally sinks all the way in, I'm shaking. Every nerve in my body is singing....and memories are flooding my brain. Our wedding night, Princess Kuchiki watching him fuck me against a tree, the whip....it's all here. I'm not focusing on his movements inside me as much as the memories. Everything is flashing before my eyes. I don't notice that he's stopped until he smacks my ass, making me open my eyes and look at him. "Hello, Pachi. Long time no see."

His eye widens. "You remember?"

"Everything."

He kisses me, sitting us up as he wraps his arms around me. In this position, I feel every beat of his heart as he pushes in and out of me, never relenting on his kiss. I'm moaning softly, my nails digging into his shoulders as he slowly builds momentum in his thrusts. I'm gasping for air now, my entire body tingling with pleasure. I throw my head back as I start moving myself to meet his thrusts. He starts kissing and biting my neck, causing me to wince when he draws blood. "Scream for me." he growls before taking control of my hips, moving my body on his in a way that makes my blood boil. I can't breathe. As my body is overwhelmed with pleasure, I scream his name, my nails tearing down his back. He bites my shoulder as he finds his own release.

I rest my forehead against his as I slowly regain my senses. He starts kissing me again, never losing the urgency from before. I know it's going to be a long night and I don't mind.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch her as she slowly sinks into sleep. My back is on fire from her scratches and she's a little bruised up from my bites. It must be about four in the mornin'. Her memories are back but I have to keep that hidden. If the head assholes find out, she'll be taken to the Muken and probably kept there for a long ass time. I can't protect her from this, other than to keep her by my side at all times. They won't dare to take me on. Hell, Central 46 is terrified of me since I got my bankai. Not that I care. A healthy dose of fear is good in cases like this.

"Pachi?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough."

I frown. "Neither one of us were. Don't beat yourself up over it."

She cradles my arm and kisses the palm of my hand. "I'm not. I'm going to get stronger so it will never happen again. Will you help me?"

"That's my woman." I chuckle as I pull her body back against my chest.

"You know...I can't believe Okami lied to me about how to kill me. That was so unnecessary." 

"So you're immortal. Good. You can continue to keep me entertained."

I grunt as she elbows me in the gut. In return, I smack her ass, leaving a nice hand print. She rolls pretty damn fast and we're lost in each other again. Damn I missed this.

****Harmona POV****

I'm pushing myself too hard, I think. My arms are shaking, ready to give out at any moment. I manage one last push up and then I'm planted face first in the floor of the dojo.

"Wolf!" I hear Ikkaku yell and the sound of him running toward me.

"I'm ok." I mumble.

"Someone get her some water!" he orders before turning back to me. "You haven't eaten today, have you?"

"I did so. I ate breakfast."

"And skipped lunch, you moron. You know Cap'n is gunna be pissed if he finds out."

"I'm fine, Ikkaku. I got to three hundred and ninety eight." I say, giving a tired grin.

"Then tomorrow you better get to four hundred. You need to drink, Wolf. I can tell you're dehydrated." he says before helping me into a sitting position. I can't hold my balance and fall backwards. He sighs and lifts me back up before standing behind me and letting me brace myself on his legs. Black spots dance in my vision as I desperately pull air into my lungs.

Toyoma, a drinking partner in my off time, brings a water canteen to my lips. "Here. It's nice and cold, Wolfie." I take a few mouthfuls before trying to get to my feet. I've moved too fast, apparently as everything goes dark. I hear Ikkaku yelling at me again but it's muted.

******

"She's alright, Lieutenant Madarame. Just dehydrated and I think the heat is getting to her. Where's Captain Zaraki?"

"He's out in the Rukongai with some of the recruits."

"Did you send him a message?"

"No, of course not."

"Good. It's nothing to worry about. I've had quite a few people in today with dehydration and fainting. I've got fluids started. She should be fine in a couple hours. I would suggest you not bring this to your captain's attention."

"Well it is about ninety seven degrees today. I can't say I'm surprised she's-"

"Hey, Baldy....shut it. You're interrupting my nap." I mumble, bringing a hand up to my face and rubbing my eyes.

"Hey! How're you feeling, Harmona?" Isane asks.

"Like shit. My arms hurt."

"Well, you did do almost four hundred push-ups in less than two hours." Ikkaku sighs.

"Are you insane!? Is all of squad eleven insane!?" Isane yells.

I stare at her and blink. "Maybe." I manage to sit up and yank the IV out of my arm before Isane can do anything. "Can we go now?"

"No! You're severely dehydrated! You can't go anywh-"

I shift into my wolf and dart out the door, closely followed by Ikkaku. "You really know how to piss people off you know." he laughs...

***********

I finish my round of sit ups before laying down. My muscles are on fire. This is agony almost but, judging by the muscles I'm gaining from all the training I've done in the past two weeks, I'm getting stronger. However, I miss Zaraki. He'd left to train the stronger recruits in the Rukongai nearly ten days ago. The kids miss him too. Takeshi has been accepted to the academy, even at his young age of four, due to his skills. The triplets will likely follow at young ages too, as they've been early with every milestone and Yumichika has been training them with his section, as has Maki Maki.

"Wolfie! Are you ok!?" Orihime calls as she enters the training grounds. "You've already been to the infirmary once today!"

"I'm fine. Just resting." I say, my eyes trained on the sky.

"Resting? Well, you have been working hard." she giggles.

A sudden stabbing pain in my side catches me off guard. Orihime rushes to my side but I push her away. "I'm ok. Captain Zaraki must be-" another stabbing feeling and I scream, clutching my shoulder.

"Wolfie, it's ok! I'll-"

"Get Ikkaku and Yumichika. He's hurt. I'm going after them. Now." I grunt before shifting into my shikai. I ignore the burning in my muscles as I run. I don't need a scent, I don't think. I'll be able to find him.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Where is your pet now, Zaraki? There's two hundred of us here, as the requirements say there must be in order to issue a challenge. So I challenge you, Captain Zaraki!"

I glare at the idiot in front of me. "How'd you get out of the Nest?"

Rydin lifts his lip in a snarl. "I was released, obviously. Your bitch doesn't mean much to Central Forty Six. They want her dead and you dead, since you are protecting her. So, I'm going to kill you. Then I'm going to fuck your woman until she bleeds and begs for mercy before I bash her fucking skull in."

I draw Nozarashi and smirk. "If you think you're man enough, bring it on. I'll warn you though, my woman is a lot more than you give her credit for, boy. She'll tear you up and spit you out without thinkin' twice about it."

"Yeah right. The whiny little bitch who cries for her mommy in her sleep? I think not."

"Tch. You don't know her like I do. And if you're gunna fight, then fight. All this chit chat is makin' me sleepy."

He screams in rage and attacks finally. He's slow and it feels like a fly swattin' me. What a fuckin' pain...

*********

"You've gotten a couple good swipes, runt!" I laugh, spittin' the molar he knocked out on the ground. I'm losin' blood fast from the stab in my side. The bastard hasn't even released his shikai but somehow he's gotten faster.

"She'll be screaming my name tonight, Zaraki. But it won't be pleasure screaming. I'm going to make her scream in agony. Hell, I'll shove every hole she has full of glass before I stomp her to death. Hey, I hear you have a couple daughters now. I'll fuck them up-"

The men part as a furious, demonic snarlin' starts behind me. I smirk. "See? You pissed my woman off. Now she's gunna kill you."

"Did you forget I challenged you, Zaraki? If you let her step in, I win by default."

I frown. That's true. Harmona steps up beside me and somethin' is off about her. Her snarlin' is dark, evil soundin'. "Wolf, back off. He issued a challenge so this is my fight."

She shifts. "I don't care if you kill him, but if you do, I'm going to fuck up his corpse. Just a warning."

"You hear that, boy?" I chuckle.

"You won't do shit, you blue haired freak."

I throw my arm around her waist before pitchin' her backward. "Hold her." I order before gettin' back at it.

****Harmona POV****

I watch the fight intently. My rage is building, slowly. Zaraki is playing. I see it and anyone else could see it too. Rydin shouts a shikai command, his sword bursting into purple flames. I have to turn, placing my head on the shoulder of the recruit that's behind me. The flame is melting Zaraki's skin the closer he gets to it. I'm in agony and the man I'm leaning on puts his arms around me, patting my shoulders gently and murmuring reassurances in my ear.

"A fuckin' kido type sword, huh? Pathetic." Zaraki snarls. "Drink, Nozarashi."

The sheer power from Zaraki knocks many of the men down. Not the one holding me. My fists are knotted in his shihakusho as my body trembles with the pain of each blow Zaraki takes. The scream of a Hollow draws my attention. We're surrounded. I take command. "Men, take them down. Protect the captain so he can enjoy this fight." I yell.

"Yes, ma'am!"

In a flash the men spring into action. I lean against a tree to continue watching. Rydin is slowly dwindling in energy. Zaraki finally manages to cut his arm, forcing him to drop his sword. "You lose, boy. Any last words?"

"Fuck you, Zaraki! You and that bitch will burn in hell!"

"Wolf. Your turn." Zaraki says before turning to me. "Time for a little payback for that poisoning he did."

I'm sure the grin on my face is scarier than I could ever be. I have a feral need to kill this boy right now. The rage is coursing through my veins like lava, making me burn from the inside. Rydin looks at me and tries to run.

"Bankai. Devour, Aoi Oni Okami."

****Kenpachi POV****

The world stops, the men and Hollows focusing on the dead bodies erupting from underneath their feet. My eye doesn't stray from my woman. It's only been a few days and already I can see she's stronger. Her abs are a little more defined now and the muscles in her arms too. I eye trails down and I can see her legs are more defined than they were, even the calves under the fur on her legs. Harmona is only focused on Rydin. There's no fear and no mercy in her eyes. Only rage.

She lets out a howl and the bodies cluster on Rydin. His screams are terrified and Harmona is laughing madly, dancing in the blood spray. When the screams finally die, she turns to me, as do the bodies. "Fight me."

"Woman, are you outta your mind?"

"No. I need more. Please."

Her voice is dark but damn if she doesn't have me hard for her. "I don't want eaten by anyone but you, woman." I tease her.

To my surprise the bodies disappear, though she stays in her half wolf form. "Better, darling?"

"Men, back off. Kill those Hollows and head home."

"Yes, sir!"

She meets me, her claws lengthening as she clashes against my blade. She's faster than I remember, of course I've never fought her bankai. She manages to shred my forearm and I counter her by catchin' her foot when she aims a kick and throwin' her down into the ground hard enough to leave a dent. She rolls out of the way before I can cut her. My cleaver is too slow to catch her so I guess I'll have to monkey see monkey do with her.

"Swallow, Nozarashi!"

She pauses as my skin turns red. I notice some men have hung back to watch, though they're not directly in the way. Harmona's eyes turn calculating and she tilts her head, a seductive smile on her lips. She throws herself at me, duckin' under the smaller cleaver, knockin' me on my back. She's still too fast so I drop the damn cleaver and meet her fists with my own. Our reiatsu is topplin' the smaller trees around us but she's laughin'. The joy in her eyes is new, even brighter than the joy she used to have before her death when fightin' with me.

********

It's been two hours and she's finally slowin' down. I've managed to keep my temper under control until now but she's pushin' it. One more swipe at me and I catch her neck, squeezin' a little. She grabs my wrist as I slam her back against a tree and get nose to nose with her. "You lose." I snarl.

She catches me by surprise and wraps her legs around my hips. The fur feels strange against my skin, distractin' me enough to loosen my hold on her. "I lose." she sighs softly. I notice her nails gettin' shorter, but they're no less pointy when she claws my chest, drawin' a little blood. She admits she lost but is still tryin' to antagonize me? My temper flares a little until I realize her legs are bendin' and she's usin' her knees to pull me closer to her. What the hell is she doin'?

"Captain! Don't hurt her!" one of the men shouts.

"I told you to get lost!" I snarl, liftin' my gaze to the small group seventy yards from us.

"We can't go until we know you're not going to hurt her, sir."

I drop my hand from her neck and she moves quickly, grabbin' my shoulders and pullin' her body against mine before her mouth crashes against mine. Her canines are sharper in this form and she accidentally, I think anyway, bites me a little too hard, bringin' blood. She releases me almost immediately though.

"I...uh...think we should go. I'm pretty sure she's ok." another man chokes out.

"Uh...yeah. Let's go."

I hear the crashin' through the underbrush as the men leave, but my focus is on her. She kisses me again, growlin' softly. "You won. Take your prize."

"Right here? Like this?"

She swats me, catchin' me off guard and layin' my cheek open. I slam her back against the tree, tearin' my own claws down the side of her thighs, breakin' the chains holdin' the skull between her legs. It crashes to the ground and she starts rubbin' herself against me. I groan loudly as she claws her way down my chest and pulls my obi free. She adjusts her body and buries me inside herself. Her head is thrown back as she rides me. Somethin' inside me snaps and I pull her off of me before turnin' her around and slammin' her against the tree again. I grab her tail, makin' her growl, shovin' it out of my way as I slam back inside her. It's a little difficult, as she has to stand on her toes in this form. I keep her tail in my hand, usin' it to pull her back against me every now and again. I lean over her back only for her to smash my nose with her skull before she kicks me away from her. Now I feel my temper risin'.

She throws herself at me and I catch her, spinnin' around so she lands on the ground beneath me. She lays my other cheek open and I pin her arms above her head before bitin' her chest. Her hips lift just enough that I push inside her again. This makes her lift her legs and wrap them around me. She seems tighter, or maybe I'm just gettin' so pissed that my mind is playin' tricks on me. Her back arches as I fuck her, makin' the skulls coverin' her tits scratch my chest. This pisses me off more and I break the chains holdin' em on. This makes me pause for a second. Her nipples have a blue-purple tint, like she's cold. Her skin feels hot though. She blindsides me with a head butt to my already injured nose and I lose it completely.

****Harmona POV****

I can see I've pissed him off when his eyes glow brighter. His grip on my wrists gets tighter and he drags me to my feet before dragging me to the edge of the nearby river. He throws me in with a loud roar. The water is freeing cold. However, he doesn't let me be dragged off by the current, grabbing my tail and yanking me back toward his body. He grabs my throat and lifts me partially from the water. He swats at me somewhat playfully with his free hand before shoving me to my knees. My head is barely above water but he urges it toward his erection. I grab his thighs and wrap my mouth around him, moaning loudly. He pulls my hair roughly, guiding my head. It's causing me to gag as he's being violent. I lift a hand to massage his sac and hear him groan softly. My mouth is filled as he explodes suddenly. I swallow quickly, licking every last drop from him before he jerks me to my feet.

He's not nice as he throws me on the bank of the river, causing a rock to slice into my shoulder. Before I can move he grabs my leg and pulls me back into the water with him. He drags me to a rock in the middle of the river and lays me on it, though he chooses to stay in the water. He drags me back to the edge of the rock and bites the inside of my thigh. I try to kick him away but he grabs my knees, spreading me wide open. He's inside me in seconds, his hands gripping my breasts possessively. Some sanity comes back into his eyes finally and I sit up, throwing myself into his arms. He falls backward into the water but he surfaces quickly and stands up, lifting me up before he impales me again, turning so my back is against the rock again.

"Kenpachi!"

"What?"

"Don't stop! Please!"

"What is it about my bankai that gets you so hot and wet, woman?" he snarls as he slams inside me, locking himself in deep before pulling away.

"The violence. Oh fuck! You feel so good inside me!" I moan.

"Violence, huh? Why do you like violence so much?"

"Like you don't." I laugh before kissing him. Each thrust is hard now, bringing pleasure and pain. He rakes his nails down my thighs and bites my neck as I throw my head back. I can't fight him now. I scream as my orgasm overtakes me, dulling every sense I have except the feel of him between my legs. He refuses to stop until he reaches his own release. I release my bankai, as he does with his. He eyes my elbow.

"The hell did you do?" he growls.

"I didn't-"

He sits me on the rock and glares at my elbow. "So you magically have a bruise like you usually get from an IV, huh?"

"Oh. That. I got a bit too hot training earlier and collapsed from dehydration. Ikkaku dragged me to the infirmary. Stupid really."

He glances over my body again. "You've been trainin' hard. I can see more muscles."

"Is that a compliment, Captain?"

"Maybe."

I kiss him gently. "I'm cold. And I can't swim."

He laughs. "You poor helpless thing."

"You dragged me out here so you can drag me back."

He grunts as I jump on him again but, he doesn't move. He stares behind me.

"Captain Zaraki, we are here for your wife. She is to be taken to the Muken for killing again." someone yells.

"Over my dead body." he growls.

"You will either hand her over, or you will be removed from your station as captain and your children will be removed from your care. There will be no negotiation."

I kiss Zaraki again. "Take care of my babies. I'll be fine. Please."

"I can't lose you again!" he growls.

"You won't. I'll be fine. Shunsui told me this would happen. Don't worry."

He carries me back across the river and I offer the leader my hands. As the manacles are placed on me, my power dwindles. Zaraki lays his hand on my shoulder. "I'll fight this."

I glance back at him and smile. "Don't. I'll be fine. You worry about the kids."

He looks startled but nods before kissing me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I'm pulled away from him. I can't tell him what Shunsui told me. I have a plan. I won't be in the Muken long.


	39. Chapter 39

I sit in the dark of the Muken, training my ears to listen for any life besides me down here. It's cold, much like a mountain cave. I can see in the dark, but not very well in pure darkness like this. I won't be here long, if I can find this man that central 46 wants destroyed. Apparently, he's some ex captain who brought chaos to the soul society a few years ago before the Quincy invasion. Shunsui also told me he's hard to kill, exactly like me. It's strange, being alone in the dark and not having Okami's voice in my head. My demon, however, is chattering incessantly. What a pain, to be stuck here with no one else but that thing...

"I'm not supposed to tell you this, Harmona but if and when you're captured and detained in the Muken, the sentence is for three hundred years. However, I've worked out a compromise. If you find and kill Sosuke Aizen, you will be freed immediately. It will not be an easy task. The man is nearly as hard to kill as you are. Plus the Muken is huge and you won't be able to see. You'll have to rely on your nose and ears. Aizen has been moved into the main chamber of the Muken...the same area where your mother and Kenpachi fought, so you will be able to use your reiatsu."

"I can't use kido so no worries about that." I shrug.

Shunsui looks at me and nods. "I hate this. We just got you back and your memories back."

"I'll be ok, Dad. It may take me awhile, but I'll be fine. I can deal with this Aizen character no problem once I find him."

He hugs me, tighter than I remember him ever doing. "I'm not worried about whether you can kill him, sweetheart. I'm worried about how the isolation will affect your sanity."

"I'll be fine. Trust me."

**********

I continue exploring. I have no idea how much time has passed but I'm assuming at least a few days. I'm hungry and sleeping more than normal, my belly growling loudly in protest. My mouth is dry, uncomfortably so, but even biting my cheek for the blood to wet my tongue doesn't last long.

"How the mighty hunter has fallen. At this rate you shall never be out of this place." my demon grumbles.

"Care to help me?"

"Why would I want to do that? You still haven't freed me, girl."

"I haven't had a chance to. I was pregnant then the breast feeding and getting killed and losing my memories."

"Excuses. You are an idiot." he snaps.

"You know, if you help me out here, it'll get done faster and you can be free faster, you overgrown worm." I snap back.

***Kenpachi POV***

I watch Takeshi leave, his hand in Ichika's. "I'll be fine, Dad. I'll see you at break!" he says, waving at me.

"Kick ass, kid." I order.

"That not a nice word, dada." Ashiro giggles.

"Not nice at all. Bad daddy." Mitsuki agrees.

"I ain't a nice guy so get over it, brats." I chuckle.

It's been two years, six months, ten days and seven hours since Harmona was thrown in the Muken. These kids have grown so much. Especially Ryden. Speakin' of....I look around and spot him right before he tackles Arimaki, screamin' a loud war cry as he pins him to the ground. He may be only three but he's the size of a five year old height wise. These three are a handful, especially him.

"Daddy, can we beat up Maki Maki too?" Mitsuki asks, givin' me puppy dog eyes with her two different colored eyes. Both girls have blue right eyes and green left ones. She and Ashiro are the exact same so it's hard to tell them apart now aside from the outfits they wear. Ashiro is my girly girl, always wantin' pink or purple clothes. Mitsuki is always demandin' to be dressed in blue or orange. Ryden...hell, I'm lucky if he keeps his damn clothes on. His hair is black as mine from the root down to about his ears where it fades to Harmona's sapphire blue. His eyes have lightened to Harmona's blue-white but still have flecks of green around his pupil. 

"Yeah go-" I clench my teeth as a sudden, familiar pain hits me in the side. Like havin' claws plunged through my gut.

"What's wrong, daddy?" Ashiro asks, takin' my hand in her own and pettin' it softly.

"Nothin'. I'm ok. Mama must be trainin'." I grunt.

"Daddy, why does mama not come home? I no remember her. I wanna see mama." Mitsuki asks.

"She got in trouble, kiddo. She's gotta get herself out of it. She'll be home eventually."

"She better come home soon. Ryden is a meanie."

"So are you, brat." I chuckle.

"I am not! I sweet like mama is."

I laugh loudly. "You'll find out mama ain't sweet."

I watch as my girls join in the dog pile on Arimaki. Harmona would be proud of these rascals. "Ikkaku!"

"Sir?" he asks, pokin' his head out from the office.

"Let's spar. I'm bored."

"Sir!"

****Harmona POV****

I lay panting in the dark, my wounds having healed long ago. This hunger inside me is a boiling pot of oil, waiting for the match to drop and set everything ablaze. This darkness is maddening. I snarl and begin biting at nothing, my mind conjuring images of Hollows or Quincies, each one dissolving into nothing as my teeth pierce it.

I flick my ear to a noise. Is this laughter in my head? Or am I hearing things? I growl and move toward the sound. If someone is here, they're in for a very bad day.

****Kenpachi POV****

I'm drunker than a fuckin' skunk, the men and I sittin' around a fire. The triplets are practicin' their sword techniques with the fuckin' peacock. Orihime is sittin' nearby with Ikkaku, laughin' her ass off at Rangiku. Nanao is in that mix somewhere. Damn I wish Harmona was here.

I fall backwards, holdin' my chest, screamin' in pain suddenly. Fuck! She's hurt and hurt bad! But how!? She's alone in the goddamn Muken! Orihime runs to my side and her dome appears. I can't hear her over my own screams. This is fuckin' agony! I scream Harmona's name before passin' out.

****Harmona POV****

I stare at the brown haired man in front of me. He's sitting in a meditative pose. But he knows I'm here, I'm sure.

"Hello. You must be Harmona Mori." he says quietly without opening his eyes.

I snarl at him, licking the drool from my fangs. Just the smell of him is intoxicating to my empty stomach. Who cares what my name is?

"I wouldn't try to kill me, if I were you. I can help you escape."

Escape? From here? I don't think so. There is no escape from this darkness. I smell the stink of his lie and snap my teeth together, my snarls getting angrier.

"Come on then, child of Jushiro and Yachiru."

I charge, not thinking twice. I don't see the knife in his hand until too late. I don't let the pain stop me though. I'm enjoying his pain too. His blood is making my hunger worse.

"You won't win! I won't-"

I pounce on the man and he screams as my teeth clamp on his head. I'm going to kill him. I'm starving to death. He's free meat. My demon, however, steps in once the man is dead. He begins fighting me, trying to keep me from eating. I'm so tired and hungry though I'm only focusing on the dead man. The claws of my demon pierce my chest, causing immense pain. I finally back down, tucking my tail between my legs as I limp off. The demon stays guarding the body...He'll have to sleep sometime.

****Kenpachi POV****

"He's not injured, Captain Kotetsu. He must be feeling something from Harmona."

"Maybe but what could she have done to herself?"

"I don't know. He was holding his chest and at first I thought it was a heart attack but then he screamed her name."

The pain has dulled to a throb but it's still irritatin'. "Isane."

"Oh, you're awake!" she says, walkin' to the side of the bed I'm layin' on. "Your men are worried, Captain Zaraki. How do you-"

"She's hurt. And bad." I grunt.

"I've got Mayuri looking at the cameras, my friend. If she's bad off we'll get her healed." I hear Shunsui say from the foot of the bed.

"Why would she be hurt though? After all this time?"

"I...can't tell you. I told you before there was a stipulation for early release. Maybe she's done it. That's why cameras were installed to see if and when she did it."

"I fuckin' hate your goddamn riddles!"

He chuckles softly. "I'm sorry. I really am. Just keep your fingers crossed that she did what she needed-"

"Captain Kyoraku! Urgent message from Squad Twelve Captain Kurotsuchi!" Nanao yells, comin' in the damn room and screechin' to a halt next to him before handin' him a folded paper. He scans it quickly and smiles but it quickly drops to a frown.

"What's wrong?" Isane asks timidly.

"She...did it. But...well, they caught her demon on camera. It hurt her bad, like you said, Kenpachi. Without Okami with her, I don't know if she can heal. According to this report...uhm...she's lost what sanity she did have. Please, excuse me. I'm going to go see what he's talking about. Kenpachi, I'll try to come talk to you later." he says, leavin' the room before I can say anythin'.

I sit up and get to my feet. I'm still a little fucked up from the drinkin' earlier. "I'm goin' home."

Isane nods. "Alright. I'm here if you need me. Orihime, go with him please. Do what you can to dull the pain if you can."

"Yes, ma'am!"

****Harmona POV****

I whimper in pain as I lick my chest wound. I can't bring myself to shift out of my wolf. It hurts too bad. A grating noise, like a rusty door hinge draws my attention. I can see light in the distance.

"Harmona! Baby, come to me if you hear me!" a very distant voice calls.

I growl angrily and drag myself to my feet. I can't walk straight, due to this injury.

"Harmona, give me some kind of sign that you can hear me!" the voice is closer now.

I continue dragging myself. I'm so fucking hungry. I see a figure before me finally.

"Harmona! Answer me, kiddo!" it yells.

I growl, low and threatening and drag myself a little closer to the man. I start salivating at the smell of him. Sake and rice balls and cedar. The man I killed recently had no scent. Hardly any taste either once my demon had gone to sleep. It's been so long since I've eaten. I'm barely out of the light now and the man before me stares directly into my eyes. I hear him curse before adopting a baby tone.

"Hi, sweetheart. Such a good girl. Do you want to come home? Hmm?" his tone conflicts with his body language. He's holding a hand up defensively, his back tense as if ready to run. I growl at him again, ignoring the drool from the corners of my mouth hitting the floor. "Easy, baby. Easy. Shh. It's me. It's Swee, kiddo."

I take a step closer and hear him gasp. I get ready to pounce but he points a finger at me and yells a command as I spring. "Rikujōkōrō!" Six bars of light imprison me. I'm unable to move. I snarl savagely, trying my damndest to move, to kill him.

"I've got her detained. I need...I don't know what I need." Shunsui sighs in defeat. I see Soi Fon and Captain Iba enter behind him.

"She's contained. Let's look for the remains of Aizen before we go anywhere with her." Soi Fon says.

"I'm going to stay here with her. She's been alone long enough."

"Whatever you think. Iba?"

"I'll come with you. However, if she won't come out of her wolf even with Zaraki-"

I snarl violently at that name, causing them to stare at me in shock. That man has haunted my dreams every fucking night since I've been here. I hate him. There was no peace in this darkness because of him hounding my thoughts! I'll kill him and eat him too, just like I did Aizen!

****Kenpachi POV****

Shunsui bursts into the meetin' late, lookin' pretty down. "Sorry for my tardiness. I...meeting is going to be suspended. Zaraki, I need you to stay. Everyone else, leave."

"Captain Kyoraku, is everything alright?" Isane asks as everyone else leaves.

"No. Just go for now. Please. I need a private word with Zaraki." he says, his voice makin' him sound like he's on the verge of tears.

"Uh...alright. Just know if you need anything, I'm here, sir." she says before leavin'.

Shunsui's head hits his desk, a fist thumpin' down beside it. I decide to let him blow off steam. My patience is rewarded after about ten minutes. "She's...completely feral now. She ate him." he says quietly.

"What? Who?"

"Harmona."

"I know Harmona. Who did she eat?"

"Aizen. That was the stipulation for her early release. She had to kill him. She's nothing but skin and bones so I'm not surprised she ate him but she tried to attack me, Kenpachi. When I said your name she completely came unhinged and nearly broke out of my bakudo. She's injured badly. Infection has set in. I'm not sure if she can heal with Okami or not."

It takes me a minute or so to digest this information. "Where is she now?"

"Tranquilized in Mayuri's care. He says he's not going to do anything to her since he already experimented on her a couple years ago but he's going to try to get the infection under control. We had to muzzle her."

"She's in her wolf?"

"Yes. I don't know why or how but she was like that when I went to retrieve her. This was what Yamma wanted. He wanted her to go mad."

"She's always been mad."

"Not like this. Not mad enough to eat someone."

"You try bein' locked up for nearly three years with no food. You'd be mad too. I'm goin' to go see her."

"Brace yourself. It's not as bad as when Mori tortured her but...it's bad. I think she's going to lose her leg."

"Give her time. Where's Okami?"

He opens a drawer and withdraws the blade. Immediately the blue wolf stands before us. "You idiots! Take me to her now or I will be the one to eat you!" he roars.

"Come on." I order before grabbin' the blade and leavin'. I got a sick feelin' in my gut.

***Harmona POV***

"Open your eyes, girl. I know you're awake." Mayuri's voice commands me.

I open them and immediately start snarling. I can't move. I try but a rattling noise sounds whenever I struggle.

"You are restrained, girl. And in very bad shape. I'm not sure if I can heal you, quite frankly. Can you stop being a wolf?"

I snarl some more. I'll never not be a wolf again! I'm weak and stupid outside this form.

"Are you refusing? Well, I had expected that. I can force you to-"

"Stop pickin' on my woman, Kurotsuchi." a familiar voice growls. Zaraki steps up next to him and eyes me. He steps closer and I go ballistic, snarling and struggling to bite him, even with the muzzle on my mouth. He stops with his hand out.

****Kenpachi POV****

Her chest has fur missin' and five deep wounds oozin' blood and pus. The area is inflamed all the way into her shoulder. Shunsui wasn't lyin' about her bein' skin and bone. Her belly is sucked so far up to her spine I can't even tell she has one. Her hips and ribs are juttin' out, as is her spine. The way she's snarlin' at me...she hates me. I've never heard her direct this noise at me.

Okami appears beside me and goes to her side. "Oh, child...don't hate him. It's not his fault you were locked away." he says quietly before a red glow surrounds him. He growls and it disappears after a moment. "This is beyond my skill to heal, alpha. The infection is advanced. The only healer that could fix it is probably that human girl."

"Master Mayuri, may I call Hime here!?" Nemu yells, startlin' me. I didn't even see the brat when I came in here.

"Why must you always yell? I am positive you're not hard of hearing nor am I." he grumbles.

"Please. The blue wolfie is my friend. It will make me sad if she dies."

He sighs. "Fine. Call your human witch. Zaraki, if it can't be healed that arm will have to be removed before it turns septic. You know that, correct?"

I nod. "Yeah, I got it. I got faith in Orihime's abilities though. Okami, how bad is she mentally?"

He sighs. "She knows faces and names but she's full of blood lust right now. This is what happens when she's left idle too long. She kept dreaming of you, Alpha, until her mind convinced her what she was seeing was real. Every time she'd open her eyes from the dreams, she'd break a little more until she just snapped. Right now, she believes shes in another dream."

"Why won't she come outta-"

"It's agonizing for her to try. Her pain tolerance is astoundingly high, as you know, but it's more than she can bear. The infection is extremely bad. It's not in her blood stream yet but it's going to be soon if we can't get it under control. Her demon is the one that did this."

"Why?"

"Trying to keep her from eating that rotten meat." it hisses in my ear before it stomps to Okami. "She ate it anyway. For once I was trying to help her but starvation will drive any creature to cannibalism."

"Is that her demon? How interesting." Mayuri says quietly.

The two wolves share a long look before the demon laughs. "You will never be what you want to be." he cackles before disappearin' inside her again.

"The hell did he mean?" I ask Okami.

"Nothing that makes sense to me. He speaks in riddles, like the caterpillar does."

"Kenny! I got the...oh my gosh! Harmona!" Orihime cries, runnin' to my woman and throwin' her arms around her. Harmona doesn't make a peep but her eyes widen in surprise.

****Harmona POV****

I can feel the arms around me. Maybe....no, this is a dream. It's all a dream. I'm still in that darkness. I never killed Aizen like I was supposed to. My demon tried to kill me so the infection is causing fever dreams. That's all this is. Hallucinations.

"You're not hallucinating, girl." Okami says.

Orihime says something and her yellow dome appears over me. I struggle and whimper before outright crying. It hurts so bad. Orihime's eyes tear up and I hear her start crying too. "I'm so sorry! I'm not meaning to hurt you!" she sobs.

"What an awful sound. Would you like me to stop it?" Kurotsuchi asks.

Zaraki stares at me for a moment before nodding. "I can see in her eyes she's hurtin' bad. Knock her out, for her sake."

"Do not do that. Let her cry. She'll learn not to let that creature hurt her again." Okami orders.

"Wait...I...Oh, Harmona. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." Orihime whimpers right before I hear a set of popping noises. I scream in pain several times before the pain dulls. Orihime pets my head softly, her tears still flowing freely.

****Kenpachi POV****

I clench my jaw, fightin' the urge to go to Harmona's side. There's a shit ton of pus pourin' outta her chest now and lots of blood. It smells terrible but she's not makin' much noise now. Only a soft whimper now and again.

"That wound must have been quite old." Mayuri sighs.

"If it's the same wound that sent me to the infirmary, it's about five days." I grunt.

"I see. This seems severe for only five days."

"The claws are filthy. Demons can't bathe." Okami growls.

"That explains it."

The room goes quiet and the dome drops finally. "She's clear now. Kenny, I think she should come home with us." Orihime says, still soundin' sad. "She can stay under her tree until she realizes she's home."

"I would recommend that as well. Home is where her mentality will be recovered, if it can be." Mayuri says. "However, I wouldn't take that muzzle off of her. She's clearly not able to tell friend from foe. This will make feeding difficult."

"The muzzle will be removed and I will help her mind heal. However, I suggest keeping the children away from her until her sanity returns. She may see them as prey." Okami says.

"Have it your way." I watch as Harmona sinks into sleep as some sort of puff of air is shot into her face. "She is sedated so you may remove her."

I get her in my arms quickly and bite back a scream of frustration. She feels like a feather. This is going to take a lot of time and patience.

******************

"Cap...tain?" one of the men greets me as I enter the barracks. "Sir...she looks terrible."

"Thank you, captain fucking obvious." I growl. "Stay away from her. She's snapped completely while she was in the Muken. Kids aren't to go near her either as a precaution. This isn't like when she lost her memories. She is completely feral. Let the others know."

"Yes, sir."

I lay her down next to her tree and tie the rope that's around her neck to the base of the tree before sittin' down next to her. "Looks like I'll have to tame you all over again, Wolf." As I talk I watch her feet twitch. Must be runnin' in her sleep. I pet her softly and the twitchin' gets worse. Even in her sleep she hates me. Well shit. What the hell did that bastard Aizen tell her to make her hate me so much? Or is she still thinkin' she's in a dream and she's mad about that? Either way, I'll tame her again. I have no doubt in my mind.


	40. Chapter 40

When I open my eyes, there's water. I know it's only dream water but I'm so thirsty! Even dream water will help, surely! I run to the edge of the pond and drink the icy water. It feels so good on my parched throat. The sky is dark but I hear talking. The mess hall is lit, so I'm assuming in this dream it's probably around dinner time. My belly growls angrily. I want food too. This isn't a fair trade. My dream can have water but no food? Even my mind hates me apparently.

Once my thirst is handled, I head back to the tree, noticing a rope tied around my neck and the tree. So I've been tied up like a common dog? This is new. Why would I be tied up in my dream? Is this my brain's way of telling me I'm bound to the Muken forever now? How pathetic. So pathetic I almost wish this was real. I'd throw myself in the pond to drown to put myself out of this pathetic misery. Even Zaraki would be ashamed at how pathetic I've become...

My pacing has worn a bit of a path in the grass. Still no food. I hate this dream! It's worse than the others. Even in other dreams, Zaraki always was there, yelling at me to eat or drink and holding me...among other things. I finally sit and howl, the only way I can give voice to my misery in this form. I don't even feel like being a person anymore. There's no one to be a person with in this solitude so why bother? I wish someone would just come to the Muken and kill me.

****Kenpachi POV****

The mess hall gets silent a as we hear the howlin' outside. It's hauntin', like the cry of a lost child. I've never heard her make a noise like this. "Yumichika, grab the bowl we used for her before and fill it up." I order him.

"Yes, captain."

"Daddy, is that mama?" Ryden asks.

"Yeah, that's mama. No, you can't go near her. Mama is a little...crazy from being locked up. Don't worry, I'll get her straightened out."

"I saw her earlier. She big and hairy but she looks sick, Daddy." Ashiro chirps with a mouthful of rice.

"Yeah, she's sick. She hasn't been fed in a long time."

"I wanna feed mama!" Mitsuki yells excitedly.

"No. Not until she's doin' better, ok? I promise when she is I'll let you do whatever you want with her."

"Ok!"

Yumichika brings her old bowl and Ikkaku has another, both full to the point of spilling. "Ready when you are, Captain. We figure, with her current state, it'd be best if you distract her while we put the bowls down and then get out of there." Ikkaku grumbles.

"Probably." I sigh before gettin' to my feet.

****Harmona POV****

"Hey! Cut it out, mutt!" I hear Zaraki's voice, making me stop my howling and turn to glare at him. One sniff and I smell food. Zaraki gets closer to me but I growl at him, warning him away. He ignores it. "Come on. Let's fight, dummy."

He's never called me a dummy before. This dream is weird but I go with it, charging right at him. He catches me and, without much effort, holds my mouth closed. "Get it done. I don't wanna hurt her by accident."

Ikkaku and Yumichika sprint out from behind him, heading toward my tree. I smell food and start struggling harder. Food! I want it! When they fly back by him, he lets me loose, though I can see he's being defensive. I ignore him. My stomach demands food. I dive into the bowl head first, devouring it as quickly as possible.

"She's either going to choke or she's going to puke. Any bets?" I hear Ikkaku ask.

"Shut up, Baldy." Zaraki growls. "She hasn't eaten in three years almost. She can eat however the hell she wants to."

"She's going to need a lot of care, Captain." Yumichika sighs. "I had her hair so beautiful."

I finish with the first bowl and move to the second, downing it in about the same five minutes. I continue sniffing around the bowls for stray morsels and, not finding any, I whine.

"She's still...well, I suppose that's normal. Should we give her more, Captain?" Ikkaku asks.

Zaraki stares at me as I start chewing on the bowl and nods. "Go ahead. Wolf, get over here." he yells at me.

I growl at him and stand over the bowls defensively. More food will appear here. That's how dreams work. Okami blindsides me, tackling me to the side. I snarl and the fight begins. Why is he trying to keep me from eating!? Does everybody hate me now!?

"You idiot girl! You are not dreaming!" Okami snarls at me. "You are awake and free of the Muken!"

That what he'd say if I was dreaming still. I may be stupid but I'm not that stupid. I catch his tail and yank on it, causing him to stumble and fall, where I pounce on him. He catches me before I can bite him, holding my jaws apart. "You stupid, idiotic child! You are home! You are safe! What must I do to prove it to you?!"

Nothing. There's nothing to be done to prove it to me. I will die here in this hole in the ground. I will never be allowed to leave. Central 46 knew exactly what they were doing when they ordered my containment. I wrench my head around, trying to break free. To my surprise he finally lets me go. "They've brought you more food. Go eat."

I stalk back toward the bowls and once again start practically inhaling the contents. Zaraki sneaks up behind me and, with a feather-like touch, pets me. I don't care right now. Filling the void of my belly is more important.

****Kenpachi POV****

I'm pettin' her to see just how bad it is. Visually, she looks like she's got both feet in the grave. Touch makes it much worse. I can feel every one of her vertebra. She growls but is more focused on eatin' than on me right now. I'm glad she's a wolf. I don't want to imagine what she looks like right now. There was no reason for this. I've killed countless people in my youth and even as a captain. My men have killed people before too. So why her? Why this woman in particular?

I'm so lost in thought, I don't notice when she stops eatin'. It's only the cold chill runnin' down my back that gives me time to get my arms up. Her teeth clamp on my arm, diggin' in deep. She starts shakin' her head back and forth and it takes everythin' I got to stay on my feet. I grab her by the back of her neck and her jaws go limp, just like a puppy. My eye meets hers and she flinches. "I know you're still in there somewhere, Harmona. Does my blood taste good to you now? Still convinced you're dreamin'? No matter. I'll bring you back to me. This is the last fuckin' time you'll ever bite me as a wolf though." I growl at her. She returns the growl but stays limp. I wait until Ikkaku and Yumichika have removed the empty bowls before releasin' her. She glares at me before retreatin' to her tree.

I wait to inspect my wounds until I'm sure I'm out of her range. I hate tyin' her up but it's the only way to keep her safe and everyone else safe from her. She got me good. The holes from her canines are nearly into the bone. She wasn't playin'. She really was tryin' to hurt me so she must really believe she is still in the Muken. If she's tryin' to hurt or kill me, I won't risk the kids around her, that's for damn sure. I know she's in there somewhere though. Just gotta bring her back to reality.

****Harmona POV****

This dream is taking forever. I'm getting sick of it, quite frankly. Zaraki talks to me from a distance. He won't come close to me. I've learned to be patient when food is brought, staying under the tree until the delivery person is clear. My belly no longer feels starved, nor my mouth dry. That's the only good thing about this dream. Maybe I'm in a coma from starvation. That would explain why this dream is taking forever. I just want it to end. Everything. My life even if it will let me escape from this dark hell.

****Kenpachi POV****

I stare at the woman as she trains with Ikkaku. "You're puttin' all your weight on your toes, Akane. That makes it easier to knock you off balance." I growl.

"Sorry. That's why I asked to practice with your squad. I'm sort of flunking zanjutsu." she blushes.

"What's the problem?"

"I just....I'm afraid of conflict. I get scared when the sword comes at me."

I sigh and get to my feet, circlin' behind her and puttin' my hands over hers. "I'll help you but you owe me. I hate trainin' rookies. I'm only doin' it cause I'm bored and you asked me nicely."

"That's fair. What's the catch though?"

"I had an idea for gettin' my wife to snap out of it and it requires a female to help me."

She blushes darker. "Uhm...ok?"

"I need you to kiss me in front of her. Then you run as fast as you can. I'm doin' this to piss her off so she'll fight me and I can knock some sense into her."

"You're a cruel man, Captain Zaraki, but if it means helping her, I'll agree."

"Loosen yourself up. Your muscles are too stiff. You're too tense. Loosen up, like water in a shower." She does as I ask, takin' a deep breath. She goes limp like putty in my hands. "Let my movements guide you. Just trust me."

"Ready, Cap'n?" Ikkaku asks.

"Ready."

*****Harmona POV****

It's slowly coming loose. I don't know why I've waited so long to try to chew this rope. It-

"Mama, that not food."

I whirl and growl. Mama? Me? The children before me are much larger than my kids should be but...one sniff tells me this is real. These are my triplets? They've grown so much. How? Surely not that much time has passed since I was thrown in here? Has it? The girls giggle but stay back. However, Ryden comes right for me.

"No! Ryden!" I hear Yumichika scream and he comes running.

Ryden is in my reach and I pounce, pinning his little body down. I hear hundreds of feet running but I'm not hurting the boy. Unless licking can kill someone, they have nothing to worry about. Ryden is laughing and screaming playfully.

"Wait! She's...she's not hurting him. Yumichika, just watch!" I hear Orihime's soft command.

I flop down on my sons legs and rub my head on him, making him pet me. He continues to giggle and holds my head in his little arms. "My mama. I so happy you home."

Home? I whimper a little. I'm not home. I never will be again. My brain is just showing sympathy for once and showing me what I want to see most in the world.

"Leggo! Wanna see mama!" I hear on of the girls yell.

"Let them down. Let's see. We're close enough to prevent any injuries and Orihime has her shield if it's needed." Yumichika orders quietly.

I hear the patter of four more feet and the girls jump on me, snuggling into my side. I grunt contentedly, my tail wagging. Oh, if only this were real. If only my babies were really here like this. I miss them so much.

"I'll be damned." someone says softly.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Captain!" Arimaki yells, fallin' over himself comin' in the dojo.

"What?" I growl, helpin' Akane counter a blow from Ikkaku's staff.

"Sir...uhm...the kids. They snuck down to where Wolf is tied at."

"What!?" I snarl, droppin' Akane's hands and turnin' to glare at the peon.

"Oh, they're fine. She's not attacking them or anything. In fact she's just laying on them...well, Ryden anyway. The girls are laying on her."

I head out the door, Akane followin' close behind me. The men part when I get to the pond. Harmona has her head on Ryden's lap and the girls are sittin' on either side of her, brushin' her fur with the brush's Orihime brought for their dolls. Ryden is jabberin' non stop, fillin' her in on Takeshi leavin' for the academy and other things she's missed.

I decide to test her. "Kids, I told you to stay away from her, didn't I?" I yell, usin' an angry tone.

They startle and start cryin'. Harmona gets to her feet and puts herself between them and me, snarlin' angrily. I step closer to her and she gets in an attack position. She's protectin' them, just like she used to. I draw Nozarashi and swing at her. She dodges and latches onto my arm again. I feel positive I warned her not to bite me again so I punch her in the nose, forcin' her to back off with a yelp. "Yumichika, get the kids out of here. Take em to Shunsui. Everyone else, clear out. Akane, you stay." I order.

As everyone but Akane leaves, I keep my eye on Harmona but get out of her range. Akane looks worried but I don't care right now. I watch Harmona closely as I pull Akane against my body. "Look, bitch. This is what I need, not some furball that thinks she's dreamin' I need a woman to fight beside me and pleasure me. Since you're batshit crazy now and won't be back, I'm replacin' you with someone more willin'."

Akane is blushin' almost as red as her hair when I lift her, forcin' her to wrap her legs around me before I kiss her. Her mouth is alien to me. She's too soft and timid but she tries like hell to make it good. She even throws in a soft moan.

Harmona snarls and jumps to the end of her rope, causin' her to thud to the ground hard. She gets back up and the look in her eyes...shit. This was a bad idea. She retreats back to her tree and lays facin' away from us, her body tremblin'. I set Akane down. "Go on. I'll take it from here." I say in her ear.

"For the record, you're a jerk." Akane spits before runnin' away.

****Harmona POV****

He...he's leaving me. There's where I know this is a nightmare. Zaraki wouldn't leave me. He's had thousands of chances but never took them. I hear him behind me and can't even muster a growl. My body is trembling with the effort of holding in this pain.

"Hey, you know if you quit bein' a wolf, I wouldn't have to trick you like this." he grunts, sitting beside me.

I don't bother. Why should I? This dream sucks. I hate it. I want to die. This pain is too much. He pets me and I react in a flash, biting him again and clawing him. Somewhere in the struggle of him trying to throw me off, the rope snaps. I don't notice it until he manages to lift me off of him and throw me. I don't think he aimed because I land in the pond. The water is so cold I immediately start struggling and my legs get tangled in the rope. Is this how this dream will end? I lose my hold on my wolf as I start sinking. I can't swim, especially not with this rope tangled around me....you know, this dream is so realistic I really do feel like I'm drowning.

****Kenpachi POV****

I wait for a minute or two once the water goes still. Surely she can....fuck! I completely forgot she told me she doesn't know how to swim! I tear off my haori and kosode before divin' in after her. The rope is tangled around her legs and her hands are tryin' to pull the loop around her neck loose. I catch her before she reaches the bottom and loosen the rope around her neck before pullin' it over her head. She grabs me, holdin' on tight. We reach the bottom of the pond and I kick off, pushin' us back up, usin' my arms to pull us up. When we break the surface she takes a coughin' fit.

"I fuckin' warned you not to bite me again, idiot." I growl in her ear.

"Yell at me when we're out of the water, stupid!" she yells with chatterin' teeth.

I manage to get us to the edge of the pond and she pulls herself out of the water as quickly as she can. I take my time but as soon as I get to my feet she decks me and knocks me back in. I come up sputterin'. She's glarin' at me. "How dare you! I don't know whether I want to kiss you for finally convincing me this isn't a dream or break every fucking bone in your body!"

"I wouldn't say no to a kiss." I chuckle.

"You're a pig! How many other women have you been fucking while I was locked up, huh? I know the red head. So who else? I can't fucking believe you! You said you'd never leave me and here you are sneaking around behind my back! I want a-"

"Don't you fuckin' finish that sentence. I haven't been fuckin' anyone behind your back. I kissed Akane to try to get a rise out of you and get you mad enough to come outta your wolf, you blockhead." I snap.

"I wanna hit you again!" she starts sobbin', crouchin' down and hidin' her face in her knees. "Why the hell would you think kissing another woman was a good idea! I'm so pissed at you right now I want to scream!"

I climb back out of the water and throw myself on her, pinnin' her under me. "Then scream, Wolf. I kissed her to make you mad. I thought you'd get mad enough to shift. You didn't though. Why?"

"I thought I was dreaming! Every night in the Muken I'd dream of you! And every time I opened my eyes you weren't there! It was so dark and silent! I wanted to die. I never thought I'd see you again or the kids. I kept waiting for this dream to be over. I prayed that it wouldn't stop, but I knew it would!"

I kiss her softly. "You ain't in the Muken anymore. You're home. You won't be goin' back either. Let's get you home and dried off. I gotta ask though, why the hell are you naked?"

"I fought my demon many times in that hellhole. My clothes got shredded."

I kiss her again, a little rougher this time. "You should know already I don't want any woman but you."

"I'm sorry." she sighs softly, wrappin' her arms around me and holdin' me tight. I stand and carry her home, not even botherin' to collect the rest of my uniform. Once inside, I kick the door shut behind me and head for the shower. She's shiverin' so bad I figure the hot water will help. I set her on her feet so I can get the water runnin'. She yanks my obi loose, causin' my hakama to drop. "Stay with me. Please."

"Like I have anythin' better to do." I growl before puttin' her in the shower. I'm with her in seconds. I frown, watchin' her brush her teeth. "How the hell did you grab that while holdin' onto me?"

"I'm just sneaky." she says around a mouthful of foam. I edge around her so she can spit down the drain without gettin' any on me. I watch her as she rinses with a mouthful of water before she spits again.

"I think I like it better when you swallow." I tease her.

She ignores me, steppin' into the spray and gettin' her hair wet. I smack her hand away from the shampoo bottle, grabbin' it myself. She steps closer to me. "You didn't miss washing my hair that much, did you?"

"I missed touchin' you period. I'll get you clean, woman." I grumble as I get some shampoo in her hair. 

"No, you're going to make me dirty." she giggles. It's good to hear her gigglin'. I tilt her head back to rinse the shampoo out. The water runs over her body, drawin' my attention to her stomach. She's still skinny, but this last month gettin' food seems to be helpin'. I can't resist puttin' my hands on her, pullin' her closer to me. She cracks an eye open and gives me that damn smile that drives me fuckin' wild. She moves fast, wrappin' her arms around me again and holdin' me with a death grip as she lays her head on my chest. "Ah, there it is." she sighs.

"What?"

"My second most favorite sound in the world."

"Second? What's the first?"

"Your voice of course."

I gotta smile a little at that. My voice, huh? Most people find my voice scary. In fact, I've been accused of bein' a demon on more than one occasion after talkin' to people. I think about all the times I've watched her while talkin' as I put conditioner in her hair. Even when she's exhausted, when she hears me, she perks up and even has a bright smile. Does my voice really have that much power on her? She startles me out of my thoughts as she starts kissin' my chest.

"I'm ok, Kenpachi. Stop worrying. You're filling the shower with smoke." she teases softly.

I grab her head and kiss her. "Mine."

"Yes, yours. However, if I ever see you kiss another woman I will beat your ass to dust." she growls before kissin' me, her body pressed to tight against mine I'm pretty damn sure I can feel her heart beat in my chest.

"The hell are you doin' to me, woman?"

"I'm going to remind you just how bad you missed me, darling." she says with a false sweetness.

"Bring it." I smirk. I'm gunna enjoy this.


	41. Chapter 41

"What am I gunna do with you, woman?" he purrs in my ear.

"If you're smart, you'll-"

He hits my ass harder than he ever has, his arm catching me as my legs refuse to support me. "That was a rhetorical question. Don't speak again until I say so or I'll punish you severely." he growls in my ear, sending a shiver up my spine. I can't stop myself though. I just don't have it in me to behave.

"Bite me."

He shuts the water off, seeming to ignore me as he grabs a towel to dry me off. Once dry he lifts me in his arms. I feel the tension in his muscles. His smell is angry almost but not quite. He shocks me by carrying me out to the kitchen, locking the door along the way so no one can get in. He sits in a chair, draping me over his lap. "I warned you not to talk." he growls. "Now, you're gunna scream for me." Within seconds, I'm squirming after he hits me hard enough it brings tears to my eyes. I bite my lip when he does it again. My ass is on fire, almost literally it feels like. A third strike and I'm almost entirely unglued, my breaths nothing but ragged pants. I scream on the fourth.

"Are you gunna talk again without-"

"If you don't fuck me, I'm going to scream!" I snarl, every nerve in my body on fire.

"You didn't learn your lessson." he laughs, his hand stroking my stinging skin. "Okami, I know you can hear me. Don't heal her for awhile. I want her to enjoy this."

Okami laughs in my head. "He says he won't unless you hurt me too much." I whimper.

"Good. I've never crossed that line before and I won't now." he says before smacking me again. I spread my legs wider, moaning softly as he rubs my ass some more. His fingers dip lower, sinking into me easily for a moment before he pulls them away. I groan as he jerks my head to the side and forces me to watch him lick his fingers clean. "You still taste so fuckin' good, Wolf. Almost better than I remember. I'm gunna enjoy punishin' this ass."

He hits me three more times before I bite his leg in frustration. His fingers delve inside me again, stroking me methodically until I'm whimpering, my legs shaking with the effort of holding myself together. "Kenpachi! Please!"

"Not yet, Wolf."

I move too fast for him, kneeling between his legs before claiming his cock with my mouth. I moan loudly as I suck and caress him. My hands play with my nipples, making my need for release so much worse.

"Stop, Wolf!" he groans finally. I refuse to listen, enjoying each twitch of his cock as I tease him closer and closer to cumming for me. It doesn't help. He grabs my hair and jerks my head away from him, producing a loud pop as my mouth is removed. "I want you to go put on a set of that lingerie for me. The black ones. I've been dreamin' of seein' you in them for the entire time you were gone. Don't talk or I'll punish you again."

I know which ones he's talking about. Oh hell.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch her travel down the short hall and into our room. She doesn't realize it, but I'm testin' her sanity the only way I know how. She ate Aizen, leavin' nothin' but bones in the Muken. Shunsui was pretty fucked up, thinkin' she'd never come back. So, I'm testin' her by abusin' that pale flesh. I wanna see if she'll snap. So far, she hasn't.

She returns wearin' that set that's driven my thoughts wild for two years. Her cheeks are flushed, gettin' redder with each step. She stands next to me, her hands crossed in front of her. I growl and pull her into my lap, grindin' myself against the pearls that are teasin' her clit. I can smell how hot she is and feel how wet she is. She throws her head back, her back archin' toward me so I can take possession of her nipple with my teeth. This causes her to cry out, her body shiverin' as she tries to hold herself back. I stop my hips long enough to lift her before bringin' her back down on me, plungin' into her wet heat with no mercy. The strands of pearls part, closin' around my dick like a ring. It feels fuckin' amazin mixed with her wetness.

My hands cover her tits as I fuck her, her hands holdin' onto my shoulders for balance. I'm relentless with my thrusts, feelin' her soaked pussy clampin' on me. "Kenpachi, please!" she whimpers softly.

"Please what?"

"I need...oh fuck! I need you to..." her face turns crimson as she tightens herself on my dick even more.

"What, Wolf? What do you want?" I growl.

"Fill me...Every hole...please." she gasps.

"I could take that two ways, you know."

"Then take it both ways! Be rude to me, Kenpachi! I want you to fuck me in every hole, with your dick, your tongue, your fingers. I want you to cum in all of them. I need you....oh god! Kenpachi! Fuck me!"

I feel myself gettin' harder as I claim her mouth, fuckin' it with my tongue in the same rhythm I'm fuckin' her pussy. I keep a hand on her tit, rubbin' the other against the wetness drippin' on me. When my fingers are slick, I reach around her hip and push one inside her ass. She stiffens a little before her kiss gets more demandin'. It doesn't take long before my lap is soaked, her teeth bitin' my tongue a little as she finally lets herself break. I refuse to stop though, draggin' it out until I just can't hold it anymore. I lock myself inside her, ridin' out my own release. She pulls her mouth away from me. "More! Kenpachi, more!" she begs softly.

"Greedy, are you?"

"I'm still tempted to believe I'm dreaming. I've missed you so much!"

I see tears formin' in her eyes and kiss them away before liftin' her in my arms, headin' for the bedroom. "You want pain?"

"I want to be in agony if I sit anywhere but in your lap. I won't let Okami heal me. Not this time."

I drop her on the bed and flip her before grabbin' the sash outta my robe. I bind her arms behind her back with it. I begin smackin' the hell outta her ass, enjoyin' the way her cheeks bounce. I don't play nice and I'm rewarded when her pale skin becomes marred with bruises and blood blisters. My hand is suddenly wet as she screams on my last strike, her spine bendin' in a near impossible angle without the use of her arms. I slide inside her, grabbin' the lube from my nightstand drawer. She gasps when I plunge my now slick fingers in her ass. When she's thoroughly slicked up, I remove myself from her pussy and dive in, usin' her arms as leverage.

"This what you wanted, Wolf?" I growl.

"Yes! Kenpachi, I'm...oh god, I'm..." she can't speak anymore as her body shudders violently through another orgasm. I'm fuckin' drenched, makin' the fuckin' I'm givin' her ass a lot easier. She's shiverin', obviously overstimulated. Her legs try to give out but I wrap an arm around her hips. I can't help the roar that bursts from my chest as I explode deep inside her finally. She's shiverin' still as I pull away and her legs collapse beneath her. She lands on her ass and lets out a yelp. I smirk as I untie her arms. The sash has cut in, leavin' welts on her skin.

I lift her to the bed and she immediately rolls on her belly. "You asked for this, Wolf."

"I know. I won't complain." she smiles as I sit beside her.

My eyes zero in on her ass and my thoughts wander. When I'd first laid eyes on her as a wolf, I never woulda dreamed I'd just laid eyes on my other half. However, as I'm thinkin' this, her blood splatters on my leg as her back is clawed open. She winces a little but seems too wore out to fuss. This demon has got to go. "Harmona!"

"He wants his freedom." she groans softly.

"Are you cold?"

"Kenpachi, darling...every nerve in my body is sparking thanks to you. I'm not cold." she grins, her eyes still closed.

"Fucked to stupidity, huh?"

"Mmhm. I'll be ok. I'd like to go to Kisuke's tomorrow though. I made my demon a promise that as soon as I got out of the Muken, I'd set him free. Obviously you'll have to go with me."

"We takin' the ki-"

"No. I think it'd be safer for them to stay here because I don't know what exactly is going to happen once he's free. You forget Yamamoto put him in me to control my berserker. Once he's out...well, let's just say I'll need some handling. That's where you come in. You've always had better control of your emotions than I have."

"Got it...you know tomorrow is your birthday? It'll be 3 full years since you went in the Muken."

Her eyes fly open. "I...really was gone that long?"

"Yeah. You didn't miss much. Other than Takeshi is in his second year at the academy. Ichika is in the same class as him. The advanced classes. From the reports the instructors have sent to me, it's likely that they'll graduate early."

"That's your son for you." she smiles again. "I want a bonfire tonight to celebrate."

"You got it. I'll have to leave you for a bit to arrange things."

"That's ok. I'll take a nap, maybe cook some eggs and bacon....I miss bacon."

"Go for it. You know I always keep some in the fridge."

I don't leave her, not until her eyes close and she's sleepin'. Somehow, I had expected some resistance to removin' that demon but I'm glad she's not. This is the last hurdle she has, I think. I'm not sure what she means by she'll need "handlin'" but I'm positive I can do it.

****Harmona POV****

My stomach growling wakes me from my nap. Zaraki is gone, probably to arrange the bonfire like he said. My stomach, however, isn't going to wait any longer. I head for the kitchen and start making an omelette just the way I like them, stuffed with cheese, bacon, onions and tomatoes. Zaraki always laughs, as he likes his with only cheese and bacon. As I'm cooking, Zaraki returns home. It takes only seconds for him to walk up behind me and wrap his arms around me.

"Want me to-"

"No. I'm not hungry right now, Wolf. Bonfire is on for tonight. I've invited everyone I thought you'd like to see. And Akane-"

I drop the spatula. "Akane? As in Tanaka?"

"Yeah, she's who I kissed to try to aggravate you. If it makes you feel better, she's still pissed at me, but she's comin' with Shunsui tonight."

"I barely remember her. The memories are sort of cloudy, like they've been tampered with. But I remember meeting her as a child and playing with her. I haven't seen her in a very long time though."

His hands move to my backside, rubbing gently. "Think I got a little carried away. Your ass is bruised."

"It's ok. I asked for it."

He kisses the top of my head before taking the spatula to wash. "Kuchiki kidnapped the kids for a bit. Has them pickin' cherries."

"I see. Do I need to kill him?"

"Tch. You're askin' for trouble."

"You're right. He'd give me indigestion."

He drops the spatula in the sink before turning to me with a scowl on his face. "Not funny."

I blink. "What?"

"Do you not fuckin' remember what you did in the Muken?"

"Went crazy, obviously. Wasn't much else for me to do besides fight my demon." I say carefully. "Obviously I killed Aizen like I was supposed to."

"You didn't just kill him. You fuckin' ate him."

I suddenly lose my appetite. "No, I didn't." I say softly.

"Yeah, you fuckin' did. I'm shocked they even let you out of there after that. There was nothin' left but bones."

I slide my omelette onto a plate and retreat to the table. I try to eat but I feel sick. What kind of monster have I become? As the nausea gets worse, I run for the bathroom. There's not much in my stomach to expel but it happens anyway. When I finish, I brush my teeth vigorously, as if it's going to get the disgusting feeling out of my mouth.

"You done?" Zaraki growls from behind me.

I spit for the seventh time before rinsing the brush and turning to him. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you still want me?"

"You were in there two and a half years with no food or water, Wolf. I don't know what they expected to happen but killin' and eatin' Aizen is forgivable in that case."

"No, it's not! I'm not a cannibal!" I scream, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Wolf, stop. You did what you did when you were starved into madness. It's nothin' to fuss about." he says, coming forward and trying to hold me. I knock his arms away.

"Don't touch me."

"Stop it." He reaches for me again and I smack his arms away again.

"Don't fucking touch me!"

He growls at me and moves faster than I've seen him move in a long time, wrapping his arms around me like a vice. I struggle for a moment, prompting him to tighten his hold. "Stop. Nobody knows but you, me, Shunsui and Mayuri. I haven't told the men and Mayuri said he won't either because he knows I'd blow his department up. You know Shunsui won't talk either."

"I don't care! I'm a disgusting monster! I don't deserve to be out of the Muken! I don't deserve you or the kids. I want to go back!"

"Shut the fuck up before you piss me off. Cry it out if you need to but you did what you were told by killin' him. They knew how fuckin' messy it would be. Shunsui said Central Forty Six is extremely scared of you now so they won't fuck with you anymore, knowin' how destructive you can be. Stop pissin' and moanin' about it. If you ask me, you didn't make him suffer near enough."

My entire body is shaking, my tears soaking into his haori. "I'm disgusting."

"You won't do it again so you aren't. You were stavin' and crazy."

I don't believe him. Not one bit. How does he know I won't do it again?

****Kenpachi POV****

Harmona refuses to move outta my lap, even when the kids try to drag her out. Every once in awhile, she shivers but I know she ain't cold this close to the fire.

"Mama, come play tag with us. Pease!" Mitsuki begs.

"Yeah, mama! You play tag!" Ryden says, stompin' his foot.

"Mama, is you ok? You look sad." Ashiro says before climbin' in Harmona's lap and huggin' her.

"I'm ok. Just...sleepy." she says, shiverin' again.

"Aww, you no fun, mama. Are old people always sleepy?" Mitsuke whines.

"Hey! Quit bein' mean, brat." I grumble.

"Let mama rest. She'll play tomorrow, right?" Ashiro asks her, givin' her puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, baby. I'll play tomorrow before we leave."

"Leave!?"

"Mama has to go somewhere and I'm goin' with her to keep her safe. You three will be stayin' with Renji." I answer quickly.

"Wenji! Yay! Captain Kootie is nice and gives us cookies when we help him draw pictures!" Ryden laughs.

Captain Kootie? I ain't gunna let Princess Kuchiki live that down. That's fuckin' hilarious. Kootie indeed. Renji, upon hearin' his name, comes over and sits in front of me when the kids run off after Toyoma, who's bribin' them with sparklers. Renji takes one look at Harmona and yanks her into his lap, holdin' her tight. "Hey, sis. You look like shit. What's bothering you?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Everyone knows I'm a monster. I don't want to make it worse." she mumbles.

"Yeah, you're a monster. So is Captain Zaraki. But you know what? You're our monster. I don't know many people that are truly afraid of you and those that are are the idiots too blind to see what a wonderful person you are. Seriously, any kid you come across you spoil them rotten. If you see someone in need of help, you throw down what you're doing to help if you can. If that makes you a monster, then we need more monsters like you."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Rooster." she sighs softly.

"Then tell me."

"No."

"Share the burden, sis. We can't help you if you don't let us." I see her shakin' a little before her shoulders drop. She's cryin' again but, to my surprise, she wraps her arms around Renji instead of tryin' to retreat to me. He rubs her back gently. "Hey now, I may be red like a flower but I don't need watered." he teases

She doesn't answer but eventually she takes a deep breath. "Thanks. You're not so bad after all. I don't care what Rangiku says."

"What?!"

She smiles and climbs back into my lap, watchin' as Renji seeks out the blond bimbo. "You are a shit stirrer." I tease her.

"Maybe a little."

****Harmona POV****

I kiss my little ones good night before retreating to my own room, where Zaraki is laying in wait. He eyes me thoughtfully for a moment as I strip out of my shihakusho. When I'm naked, I crawl onto him and lay on his chest. "Would you be mad at me if I say I'm scared?"

"No, I'd be mad at you if you lied and said you weren't." he replies, rubbing my shoulders.

"What if I go crazy and you have to-"

"I won't let that happen. Trust me."

"But-"

"No buts. Just trust me!" he growls.

I growl and nip his chest, earning me a swat. I decide not to play nice....of course, I never play nice, according to most people...

*****Urahara Shop*****

"We're ready. Harmona, I'm having Hachigen put up a containment barrier in case it's needed." Kisuke says seriously.

I eye the giant of a man, who bows to me. "It is an honor to-"

I hug Hachi tightly. "I remember you. You always used to make me little butterflies with your kido when I was younger, after I first disappeared. You tried to catch me a time or two, not knowing I was a soul reaper."

He chuckles. "I knew what you were, little wolf. I knew and tried to catch you one my days off because I knew you needed a friend. I'm sorry you were left without one for so long."

"The hell?" Zaraki grumbles.

"When she first disappeared, Captain Yamamoto didn't know about her wolf form. She was very careful to hide it around everyone, so he had us out looking for her as she is now. However, when I first saw her, she was much smaller than she is now and I put two and two together when I saw her fur. I used to make butterflies out of my kido for her and had a delightful time watching this little wolf cub chasing them about. She was very cute as a puppy. However, the incident with Aizen happened and I never got to say good bye."

"It's ok, Hachi."

"Anyway, Harmona, dear...the barrier will keep you and Captain Zaraki inside it, ok? I'm going to warn you, all my research says pulling a demon like yours out is going to be extremely painful. Many people don't survive it, but I have confidence that you can because of Okami. Captain Zaraki, it will not be so painful for you but it may still hurt once the chain is created to tie you two." Kisuke sighs.

"Don't give a damn. Pain is pain. Big deal." Zaraki grumbles.

I step into the indicated spot, Zaraki close behind me. We're soon enclosed in a yellow box, the space inside giving us about 12 feet in any direction.

"Now, Harmona, if it helps you to fight or something to distract you from the pain, do whatever you need to." Kisuke says, his voice a little muffled through the barrier.

"Anything? What if-"

"Don't even think about it!" Zaraki growls. "I ain't puttin' on a show for that pervert."

I giggle. "Alright, I'll fight you then. Kisuke....let's get this over with."


	42. Chapter 42

I can hear Kisuke's mumbled chanting outside the barrier. Harmona is sittin' with her eyes closed and fists clenched. She's already breakin' out in a sweat. "Don't fight it, Wolf."

"I can't help it!" she snaps.

"Harmona, whatever you have to do to distract yourself, do it. The more you fight the harder it's going to be to get him out." Yoruichi calls, her voice muffled. "Even if it's fucking Kenpachi senseless, have at it."

"Shut up!" I growl.

Harmona laughs a little. "May not be a bad idea, if nothing else works. Right now though, let's try a fight, Captain."

"Bring it."

She gets to her feet and gets ready. "No swords."

"You're the only woman I know that likes fist fights, you know." I chuckle, takin' Nozarashi out of my obi and settin' it against a rock before gettin' in position. She lets her fists fly, attackin' quickly and almost without thought. The tension slowly drains from her body as she focuses on our battle. It's different from before. She's not playin' like usual. I barely hear Kisuke over the sound of flesh hittin' flesh but somethin' changes suddenly. Chains appear on the ground, as does her demon. His arms are chained to hers, same with his legs and body, 5 total. She doesn't seem to notice, continuin' to fight me. I notice my hands are passin' thought the chains, as if they're not even there, though I can see them clear as day.

She's pantin' for breath, more than she should be. "It's too hot." she mumbles, wipin' the sweat outta her eyes. She pulls her kosode off and tosses it behind her. Her body is covered in sweat and goosebumps, as if she's runnin' a fever.

"Need a break?" I ask her.

"No. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I said I'm fine, damnit!" she snarls, flyin' into attack mode again. One punch to her side sends her into a roll.

"You're not fine."

"Don't tell me what I am, Ken-" her words are cut off suddenly as the chain on their left ankle shatters. They both scream in pain, curlin' into the fetal position on the ground.

"Kenpachi, each one if going to be more painful. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do to stop it." Kisuke yells.

Harmona lays for a few more minutes before getting back to her feet. She stumbles to me and lays her head on my chest. "I can't." she whispers.

"Can't what?"

"Can't do this. It hurts...I'm scared."

I feel her tears on my skin. "You can and you will. You've got to, Wolf. This thing is only slowin' you down. You're weaker with him than you are without."

She kisses my chest softly. "Keep fighting with me. Please."

"Ready when you are."

Again, her fists and feet start flyin', quick and accurate on their mark. However her strikes are much weaker than normal. I can feel her reiatsu tremblin', just as her body is. The strain on her must be immense for her to be this weak. I don't comment on it though. I do, however, hold myself back, somethin' I've never done before. But one punch from me in her current state is likely to kill her, I think.

She collapses suddenly, screamin' in pain again as the second chain shatters. Her other leg is free now. I hold her in my arms, rockin' her as her screams echo in this damn barrier. Her entire body is tremblin' when the screams finally stop. "I can't. It hurts to even move." she cries softly.

A door forms in the barrier and Yoruichi enters, bringin' a flask and helpin' my woman drink. "This won't stop it but it might dull it a little." she says softly. She smooths the hair out of Harmona's face gently. "Kenpachi, is there anything else she likes doing that can distract her? Singing? Drawing? Anything?"

"Nothin' appropriate." I snort.

Harmona's nails dig into my chest as the third chain shatters, her scream muffled by my shoulder. Yoruichi rubs her back, sayin' calmin' things in her ear. "We're half way there, Wolfie. It's almost over. You're doing great."

"Just fucking kill me!" she yells.

"No. Harmona, it's ok. It'll be fine."

Harmona starts sobbin' in my chest. She's cried before, but never like this. I can't do anythin' for her except kiss away the tears. Yoruichi helps her take another drink and I smell the sake in it. Gettin' her drunk may not be a bad idea. "What is that?"

"Sake with some pain reliever in it. It won't stop the pain completely but it should make it more bearable." Yoruichi answers softly.

I watch Harmona as she shivers, her eyes rollin' back in her head suddenly as her back bows. Her demon screams, shakin' the ground under us. Harmona, makes no noise at all but she starts convulsin' in my arms, bloody foam comin' from the corner of her mouth. I lay her on her side, watchin' as Yoruichi balls up her orange shirt and puts it under her head.

"This supposed to happen?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'd imagine so...these last two chains are the last ones before Kisuke can destroy the final one connecting them in her soul. That last chain is going to kill her but it won't be for long. Just long enough for Kisuke to connect you two."

As the fourth chain shatters, Harmona dry heaves, the convulsions gettin' worse. It looks like every damn vein in her body is standin' up, tryin' to burst outta her skin. Blood starts pourin' outta her nose and eyes as she buries her nails into her arms. Yoruichi tries to remove them but Harmona is clenched tight, like a body in rigor mortis.

"Kenpachi, her skin is like ice! Hell, even her lips are blue!"

"You'll need to lay with her before hypothermia sets in, Captain Zaraki. This last mini chain is possibly going to stop her heart, which will only add to the coldness!" Hachigen calls.

Yoruichi strips Harmona. "What are you waiting for! Get that damn shihakushou off and hold her!" she yells before startin' to strip herself.

"The hell are you doin'?" I ask as I get myself naked.

"We're going to sandwich her between our bodies to help the heat issue. Stop asking stupid questions."

I get behind Harmona, pressin' as close to her as I can. Yoruichi finally wrestles her arms free and places herself in Harmona's embrace. Harmona is cold as ice, her skin takin' on a blue hue. I rub my hand over her arm and side, tryin' to get her warm again. The last chain shatters and Harmona screams again, her head flyin' back hard into my chest. Her teeth clench together until her gums start bleedin' as the soul chain between them appears in her chest. It's fuckin' huge, easily as thick as my bicep.

"Captain Zaraki, I apologize. This final chain will end her life. I'm almost positive you're going to feel this too, as the chain she put on you is entwined with this one. However, once the demon chain is gone, I will break her smaller chain and replace it with one between you two." Kisuke calls.

"Just get it done. I don't give a flyin' fuck about the pain." I snap.

My grip on her tightens and I close my eyes as the pain hits me. It's like bein' ripped apart from the inside, every bone breakin'...every organ burnin'. I take a deep breath, focusin' on how Harmona smells. Honeysuckle and blood....always that smell. Even now, with this pain, I want her. I groan as another, sharper wave of pain hits like a boulder to the gut. Harmona whimpers and her hand grabs mine, squeezin' it tight.

"Kenpachi, how're you holding up?" Yoruichi asks, liftin' her head so I can see her golden eye over Harmona's shoulder.

"Fuckin' hurts but I can deal with it." I grunt.

"It'll be over soon."

Harmona whimpers a little and it cuts off suddenly as the final chain starts crackin. The pain is intense and she starts convulsin' again, blood pourin' from her mouth as she bites her tongue. I'm startin' to feel nauseous, sweat pourin' down my face and back just like it did hers earlier. As the chain finally shatters, she and her demon scream. I let out a pain filled roar. Harmona becomes still suddenly and it's fuckin' familiar. I can't feel anythin' from her at all. Yoruichi's hand checks for a pulse. "She's gone."

"Not for long! Okami is out here with us now..."

"Kisuke, what's w-"

It gets bright in here all the sudden. My eyes travel to her demon and I roll on top of the women, shieldin' them with my body as he explodes in a huge fireball. Harmona's eyes fly open, the whites red with blood as she opens her mouth in a soundless scream. There's still no heart beat in her chest. As the flames burn out finally, I move my body back beside Harmona. My back is burnin' pretty damn bad.

****Harmona POV - Flashback****

"Again!" Captain Yamamoto orders.

I growl at him defiantly but obey, attacking him violently. My temper is getting the better of me and I feel out of control. The old man sneers and strikes me a solid blow to the side of the head with his cane, causing me to lose my footing and crash to the ground at his feet. "You are ruled by emotions, little girl. They do you no good on the battle field. Your mother should be glad not to have raised you. You are too weak to be of the same blood as The Kenpachi. Even I am ashamed of your weakness. It is no wonder she avoids you."

And, just like that time before with my father's lieutenant, I snap. Everything takes a red hue in my vision. I get to my feet and glare at the old man. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you old bastard." I snarl.

"Watch your mouth, child."

"Make me. I fucking hate you. I hate this city. I will fucking laugh as I watch it burn."

He strikes at me again but I catch his cane in my hand, yanking him toward me and getting nose to nose with him. His eyes widen in shock as I spit in his face before punching him as hard as I can in the nose. His blood triggers my rage further so I let my fists fly, screaming in rage. He defends as much as he can before his cane withers and he draws Ryujin Jakka, it's flames burning me even without hitting. I refuse to back down though, since Okami is healing just as fast as I'm burning. I let out a rage filled roar, my reiatsu spiraling out of control. I taste metal in my mouth and realize my teeth have become steel, as have my finger nails, now sharpened into deadly claws. I feel my ears and tail are out too and pause only for a moment to wonder why.

"What are you, girl?" Yamamoto mutters, almost to himself.

"I'm fucking angry, that's what!" I laugh before attacking him again. My claws meet his blade in a hideous crash, sparks flying. This is fun. Blood flies as I cut him, over and over, getting more and more furious. This power flowing through me is amazing to my 11 year old self, having never been triggered into this much of a rage before. Looking in his eyes, I see fear. No matter how many cuts and burns I'm taking, I refuse to back down. Even when he stabs my through the gut, I refuse to fall. I also refuse to stop laughing. I keep attacking, eventually pushing him back into a corner. One last kick and he falls to his knees. I draw my hand back to strike the death blow but Okami appears between us.

"Enough. You cannot kill this man, little wolf. Not if you want to survive." he says gently.

"He started it!" I snarl.

"And you finished it. Be proud. However, if you kill him, you will be thrown into the dark of the Muken, never to be brought out again."

I take a deep breath....and another....and one more before my rage finally cools. Okami disappears and I stare at the bloody old man. "You know...I'd appreciate it if you stop using my mother to antagonize me, Head Captain. Next time, I'm not so sure I'll be able to stop." I sigh.

"You have my word not to do it again." he grunts.

"I'm not going to apologize."

"You're a berserker, girl. Our laws say I'm supposed to kill you."

"You can try but we both know it won't work."

"I will do something else to control that, for the safety of the Seireitei."

"What?"

"Something to bind your power, so if you are triggered, you aren't in a blind rage."

I nod. "Yes, sir."

****Awake****

"Harmona, come on. Open your eyes." I hear Yoruichi calling me.

My eyes open slowly. It's like wrestling with boulders on my eye lids, they feel so heavy. Everything is blurry so I close them again. "Don't wanna. It's too bright."

"Well, I suppose that's a good thing. How're you feeling?"

"Pissed off. Hungry....I wanna kill something."

"Uh, let's not ok?"

"I didn't say I wanted to kill you, though if you keep bothering me that will be subject to change. My body fucking hurts. That's what's pissing me off the most."

"That's to be expected. Would you like a massage?"

"Where the hell is my husband?"

"Right beside you. He's unconscious. The chain was created between you two already and he passed out soon after."

"I'll kick his ass later." I grunt before rolling over and burying my nose in someone's skin. One sniff and I growl. "You're not Kenpachi."

Yoruichi laughs. "Other side."

"Why are you naked?"

"You had an episode of hypothermia while Kisuke was taking the chains off you and the demon. Kenpachi and I had to get naked and sandwich you between us to keep your body temperature from falling too far."

I roll the other way and bury my nose in Zaraki's chest. "Thanks for not letting me freeze to death."

"Kisuke said the quicker you have sex with your husband, the stronger that chain will be."

"He seems to be asleep."

"Want to wake him up? I'll help, if you don't mind."

"How the hell do you intend to help now?"

"You have a beautiful body, Wolfie. As do I. I'm proposing waking him up by getting you stirred up."

"Won't Soi Fon mind?"

"Why? We're not together. I'm a free agent."

I crack my eye open again and look over my shoulder. She is beautiful, no doubt about that. "I've never been with another woman. I mean, I kissed Rangiku a couple times to get him jealous but that's it."

"I'll guide you. Don't worry. But first, I'll need you on your back. I can't very well do anything with you smashed up against him."

I reluctantly roll and, to my surprise, she kisses me. Her lips are much softer than Zaraki's, but her kiss is just as powerful, easily stealing my breath. I tease her tongue with my own, my hands caressing her breasts until her nipples are hard. She moans softly before breaking the kiss and placing random kisses on my neck. "I want to...taste you." she moans softly before licking around my nipple. "Please?"

I close my eyes, hesitating only for a second. "Why?"

"Because you're beautiful and I've been alone so long. I miss having a female to entertain myself with."

"Well, I suppose I owe you so do whatever you want. I won't stop you, Miss Kitty."

"Whatever I want, huh?"

She moves fast, turning so she's above me. Her violet curls are trimmed into a thin strip above her slit. I know what she wants. Shockingly, I want it too.

"What the fuck are you doin' to my woman?" Zaraki growls as he wakes.

"Join us, Captain. She's paying me for the debt she owes me and Kisuke said the quicker you two had sex, the stronger that chain is going to be." Yoruichi purrs.

"Wolf-"

"Kenpachi, come on. This is the one and only time I'll allow it." I say before grabbing Yoruichi's hips and holding her still, my tongue tickling her clit softly. She tastes like honey. I'm surprised to find I like it.

"Wolfie, open for me." Yoruichi commands, tapping my thigh. I watch out of the corner of my eye as Zaraki watches us, his eyes burning with lust. I spread my legs and Yoruichi wastes no time, her fingers rubbing the length of my pussy teasingly before she inserts two inside me. "Mmm, are you always this wet, Wolfie?"

I don't answer, instead choosing to punish her cheekiness with my tongue, caressing her clit teasingly and sucking on the swollen nub. Her fingers move harder inside me as her tongue finds my clit and teases me in a similar manner.

"Fuck that's hot...Harmona, gimme a hand." Zaraki growls, scooting closer to me. I wrap my hand around his cock, stroking it with a firm grip. Zaraki grabs my breast firmly, playing with my nipple. I plunge my tongue inside Yoruichi, making her moan and return the favor. "Yoruichi, she squirts. I can see she's close so unless you want drowned, lemme take over." Zaraki growls.

Yoruichi moves, her eyes glazed as she turns and settles on my chest. I continue feasting on her as Zaraki slides inside me. I'm soon moaning, writhing under Zaraki's ministrations. I watch as his hands latch onto her breasts. She's panting now and with a couple more licks she breaks, moaning loudly and falling backwards into Zaraki's arms. I clean her before he shifts her down beside me. Yoruichi's eyes meet mine, hers glazed. "More, Wolfie. Please."

I put my hand between her legs, my fingers stroking in and out while my thumb rubs circles on her clit. Zaraki watches, his thrusts getting more violent. "Kenpachi! Don't stop!" I beg.

"I second that!" Yoruichi cries.

Zaraki smirks and bends my legs until my knees are on my chest, holding them there by the back of my thighs. "Cum for me, Wolf." he orders. I wait only seconds longer before giving in, drenching him. He shudders as he unloads, but he's not done. "Woman, get on top of my woman. I wanna play with you too."

Yoruichi climbs on top of me, laying with her back to my chest. Zaraki stays inside me but his hand moves to her clit, rubbing insistently. I grab her breasts, massaging her, though Zaraki pulls her down a little as he starts fucking me again. I see what he's doing. He's using his fingers inside her but her body meets his when he thrusts forward. Soon, we're both moaning and writhing, needing release. Yoruichi screams suddenly, her back arching off of me as she succumbs to Zaraki's attentions. His eyes stay on me though, as he continues to torment her and me both. I finally give in, the pleasure overwhelming my system so much that I lose consciousness again...

***Kenpachi POV***

Yoruichi finally wakes, stretchin' like a damn cat before lockin' eyes with me. "I won't tell anyone. As for her, you'll need to help her. Even my senses are telling me something has changed with her."

"I can tell too. She's never passed out durin' sex before." I grumble.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I've been alone for a long time and-"

"If she had said no, you'd have stopped. I ain't mad. Honestly, you did me a favor. I had a fantasy about fuckin' her and another woman once. Always thought it'd be Matsumoto though, not you." I chuckle.

"Thank you for not taking liberties. I like women more than men, though occasionally I enjoy a man's touch."

"Kisuke know that?"

She smirks. "Kisuke is the only man to ever put it inside me."

Harmona groans and rolls over, getting her knees under her before getting to her feet. Her eyes are still closed. I watch her take a few steps before she falls again, curlin' into a ball. Yoruichi raises her eyebrow inquisitively. Harmona shifts and my mouth drops open in shock.

"Uhm...that's odd. I thought she was bigger in her wolf form?"

"You saw her wolf form. She was bigger. What the fuck happened!?" I growl, gettin' to my feet and walkin' to Harmona's side. She's...a fuckin' puppy. Barely two feet from nose to tail. She shifts again and she's still an adult. I don't understand. Did somethin' happen to Okami after the demon was banished? I crouch down and shake her a little. When her eyes open she smiles at me tiredly. "Talk to Okami. Now. Somethin-"

"Don't wanna. Hungry." she snarls.

"Harmona, your wolf form is a baby!"

"He reverted back to a puppy because you and your stupid demon removal. He's fine. They were chained together too. Feed me!"

I frown. She's gotten a little childish too, sounds like but maybe that's not a bad thing. If she's a got a child's mindset, I can train her easier. "You want food?"

"Food!? Where?" she sits up.

"Come on. Get dressed and we'll go feed you."

She smirks before pouncin' on me and kissin' me, bitin' my lip. "You spoil me, darling." she laughs before rushin' around to get dressed. Watchin' her makes my head spin. What in the hell is goin' on here?


	43. Chapter 43

****Harmona - Dream****

"Please! Let me go!" I cry again, trying to jerk my arms free of the chains once more. I'm strapped to a table. I don't even know how or when I got here. Captain Yamamoto had ordered me to eat dinner with him and he seemed strangely calm, no matter how much I'd tried to rile him with my poor table manners. I'd gotten very sleepy soon after finishing the apple juice he'd given me and had excused myself to go to bed.

"I told you, child, that I must to this to protect the Soul Society. You are a berserker, that is obvious. You are a danger to yourself and others. Had I known about this sooner, you would've been withdrawn from active duty long ago." Yamma's tired voice grumbles from beside me.

"It's not my fault! I want my mommy!"

"Your mother will know nothing of this until it is done. For now, sleep. It won't hurt but you will be training much more from now on." he says, passing a hand over my eyes. I struggle a few seconds longer before the green glow of his kido knocks me out. What the hell is he doing to me?

*************

I land on my back, too tired to move. I've felt sick and disoriented since I woke up the other day after Yamma had done whatever he did to me. I'm off balance. Okami seems sick as well. Do zanpakutou spirits get sick, I wonder?

"You seem much slower these past three days, child, and less irritable." Yamma comments slowly before sitting beside me calmly.

"I don't feel very good. I haven't since that day." I sigh. "I can't sleep for the nightmares. They're strange...sometimes I wake up in pain and there's blood on me but no wounds. What did you do to me, sir?"

"What needed done. I shall let you rest for the next two days, as even I can tell you are ill. Perhaps it will go away. For now, go to your lessons with Shunsui. You've been missing them of late, he's told me. Why is that?"

I frown and close my eyes. "I've been sneaking and spying on my mother. I miss her, sir."

"I shall allow her to come visit you during your lesson today. If you're distracted, you cannot train."

"Thank you. I'll go now, if that is your wish?"

"You are dismissed."

I get to my feet quickly and, though I'm lightheaded and a little nauseous, head for Shunsui's office. I lied to the old man, for good reason. I haven't been going to Shunsui's lessons because I've been wandering out of the Seireitei lately to hunt. I find hunting is fun, the blood of my prey driving away the fury that simmers in my veins always. I'm careful about it though, so there's no reports when people are killed. I'm still too little to kill big animals but people are stupid.

When I get to Shunsui's office, it's empty. I follow my nose to the neighboring barracks of squad thirteen and plop down in Jushiro's lap, hugging him tightly. He chuckles. "Well now, Shunsui, I appear to have grown an extra appendage with blue hair."

"I see that. Hey, Squirt. Where've you been?" Shunsui laughs, patting my head.

I crawl into Shunsui's lap and bury my nose in his chest, yawning. "I'm sorry."

"Harmona....are you ill? I didn't notice it when you hugged me but you're covered in sweat, dear." Jushiro asks me.

"Yamma did something to me the other day. I haven't felt good since. He didn't hurt me but...I don't feel right. Okami is sick too." I mumble.

"What did he do?" Shunsui asks.

"I don't know and he won't tell me, Swee. I can't sleep. The nightmares are bad lately."

His hand rubs my back gently. "Your reiatsu feels twisted, sweetheart. Are you sure you don't know what he did?"

"Swee...I'm a berserker. That's what he said. He said whatever he did would control it."

His hand stops and I look up at him. Shock is scrawled on his face, same with Jushiro. Jushiro recovers a little quicker. "Well, that's a word I haven't heard used in at least seventy years."

"Uki, what is a berserker? And why is it bad?"

"Berserkers are warriors that when they are in battle, if they get pushed to the limit of their patience, rage takes over. They're called Death on the Battlefield, as they slaughter enemies and allies alike in a blind rage. They're extremely rare. In fact, I've only heard that title given on four separate instances and only after the berserker was dead."

"They're similar to a Kenpachi, kiddo, but they're much deadlier when that rage hits. How did Yamma figure it out?" Shunsui asks.

"I...he said something mean about mommy and I lost my temper during training. I cut him, over and over. Okami stepped in to stop me." I admit softly.

"That must've been the day we saw the emergency medical team headed to his office. He wouldn't tell us what happened, just said a training accident. We knew you had to be involved, by the way he said it, but we assumed he had busted you up, not the other way around."

"I'm sleepy, Swee."

"So sleep."

"Don't wanna. There's a scary voice. And a skull in my dreams...and yellow eyes."

"It's not Okami?"

"Okami has red eyes, not yellow."

"How long as it been since you slept, dear?" Jushiro asks.

"A few days." I shrug, not really knowing.

Jushiro lays down and pats the ground in front of his chest. I crawl to him and curl up beside him as he starts humming softly and petting my hair. Against my will, my eyes close, sleep creeping over my limbs quickly...

***************

Jushiro cries over me, holding me in his arms as he removes the razor from my hand. "This is what you've done to her! She doesn't deserve to feel this way, old man!"

"She cannot die. Stop crying, Jushiro." Yamma growls irritably.

"You old bastard! She's trying to because of whatever happened! Her wrists are cut open nearly to the bone! Do you see all the blood!? It's on your hands!" I've never heard Uki so angry. "What the hell did you do to her that she wants to die so bad?!"

"It is not your concern, boy."

"It is my concern! She's my-"

"Silence! You will not question me, Jushiro. The girl will heal. This is not the first time in the past six months that she's tried to die and I am sure it will not be the last. Her sword will heal her, as usual."

I hear the unmistakable sound of a slap. "You told me she was safe, Commander Yamamoto. She deserves freedom." my mother's angry hiss is clear and threatening.

"She will never have it. A soldier who cannot die is an invaluable resource to our troops against these Quincy. That is final!"

I cough quietly and open my eyes. My mother's kido surrounds my wrists. Jushiro's tears stain his face, some dripping onto my cheek. When he sees my eyes open he holds me closer, sobbing harder. I don't see or smell Swee. I always figured he'd cry over me, since I'm around him more. However, I'm glad to know at least Jushiro cares for me enough to cry. I didn't mean to upset him...

****Awake****

I wake in Zaraki's arms, shivering a little. We're home, I can tell. "How long have I been asleep?"

"You passed out after eatin' dinner. Kisuke wanted us to stay but I decided it'd be better for you to be home to recover." he says, glancing down at me. "We're almost back to the barracks. I think you need to rest for a few days. You've got a bad fever."

I nod and shiver again. "Much as I hate it, I think you're right."

"You never agree with me when I tell you to rest."

"I remember feeling like this when Yamamoto first put that demon in me. Disoriented, weak, and sick. It took a few days to recover...probably because I didn't sleep much."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe now that you're alone in there except for Okami, you won't have that problem."

"I hope not. It'd be nice to be able to sleep in your arms an entire night instead of waking up and killing things in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, it would be nice. What would be even more nice is a repeat."

"A repeat, huh? You want Rangiku to join us or do you mean a repeat in general?" I tease him.

"Just you. Watchin' you two earlier was fuckin' hot but I got jealous. I'm the only one that should be playin' with your pussy." he growls.

"Captain! You're back! How'd it go?" Yumichika asks as we enter the gate to the barracks.

"Went fine. She's gunna need to adjust a bit."

"Glad to hear it. The triplets are out and about with Renji and Rukia right now at the festival. Are you two going to-"

"No. She's got a fever so I'll stay here with her. However, do me a favor. See if you can find those honey cakes she likes with the strawberries and the little pot of honey that comes with it. She's been whinin' about wantin' one the entire way back."

"Sure thing. Go rest, Wolf. I'll bring it as soon as I find one." Yumichika says before linking arms with Orihime and heading to the festival. I'd completely forgotten about the impromptu festival that Shunsui had arranged. I think it's probably for Akane, knowing him. He must really like her.

Zaraki lays me in bed, stripping me down before getting himself naked. I notice his erection immediately. However, to my surprise, he simply holds me. "You're sick, Wolf. You need rest. Close your eyes."

"But-"

"Close your eyes, Wolf." I follow his order, snuggling closer against him. His skin feels cool against mine. I gasp as he nips my ear. "I can smell you, woman. I can see how fuckin' hot you are for me. Answer me honestly, did removin' that bastard from you fuck you up somehow?"

"I don't know! I just know I haven't stopped wanting you since I woke up."

"You too, huh? I'm pretty sure there's no blood goin' to my head and there hasn't been any for hours now." he purrs in my ear before licking my neck. I feel his hand wrap around my hip, his fingers finding my clit easily. "You're so wet for me, more than normal. I can smell you. It's like that time you were fertile but a thousand times stronger. You smell so fuckin' good."

"Kenpachi!" I moan his name urgently as his fingers begin working me into a frenzy. He slides two inside me, leaving his thumb to continue tormenting my clit. I'm riding his fingers shamelessly, seeking release. His kisses on my neck turn rough, his teeth nipping me in love bites. I'll be marked come morning. I don't fight it as my orgasm crashes over me, black spots dancing in my eyes from the intensity. His hand withdraws and he kisses my cheek.

"You're gettin' hotter, Wolf. I'm gunna go get you a fever pill."

"Don't leave me. Please."

"Wolf, if the fever gets outta control, you'll be sick as a damn dog. Let me get you a pill. I promise, I'll be right back."

I whimper as his heat disappears from my back. The disorientation is worse, the room spinning in circles as I open my eyes. I feel terrible, just like when the demon was put inside me. I roll out of bed and crawl to the bathroom, not trusting my feet to carry me. I barely make it to the toilet before my stomach revolts. My entire body aches. I flush and simply lay on the cold tile floor, enjoying the coolness on my skin.

****Kenpachi POV****

When I get back to the bedroom, she's gone. I can tell she's sick but I'm havin' a hard time keepin' my hands off her. I can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I check the bathroom and find her layin' there, passed out. She ain't sweatin' so this fever hasn't broke yet and, judgin' by how hot she's burnin' it won't anytime soon. I manage to get her mouth open and put the medicine on her tongue. She whimpers like she does when she's uncomfortable and it dawns on me that she's likely very dehydrated, the fluids in her body bein' burned off.

"Wolf, can you hear me?"

No response. Not good. I get her in my arms and carry her back to bed, layin' her down quickly. I head back to the bathroom and grab a washcloth, gettin' it wet with cold water out of the sink before takin' it back and puttin' it on her forehead. A hell butterfly comes to my outstretched finger and I relay a message to Isane. Harmona doesn't have wounds, so there shouldn't be an infection. Likely, her body is adjustin' to the demon bein' gone, but I need to be sure.

*************

"I can't find any sign of infection, Kenpachi. Was your mission successful?" Isane sighs tiredly.

"Yeah, the creep is out of her. She's been runnin' a fever since the chain broke." I reply, my arms crossed on my chest.

"I agree she's severely dehydrated so I'm going to leave these IV's hooked up overnight. I'll come check on her in the morning. Sleep is the best thing for her right now, ok?"

"You're leavin' her here? I figured you'd cart her off to the infirmary."

"I've figured out that she heals better with you around and tends to listen better when she knows you're not going to be separated from her."

"Bout time."

She gives me a tired smile before gettin' to her feet. "If she doesn't improve by morning, we may need to give her an ice bath but I'd prefer to avoid that if possible. Just stay close to her. The saline should help cool her body down more than anything."

"Thanks, Isane. I'll see you in the mornin'."

"You can lay with her. Hold her, if you want. It won't hurt her."

"Like I need permission."

Isane steps out finally and I strip my boxers back off before climbin' in bed with her. "Come on, Wolf. You can beat this."

****Harmona POV - Dream****

A nameless, faceless man orders me to kill the Quincy's. Why can't I see his face? Could this be the Mori that raised me and they removed my memories of? In this dream I follow the order, killing swiftly and silently, the arrows not able to catch me. When it's done, the battlefield is soaked in blood and carnage, as are my hands and face.

"You've gotten good, bitch." the man compliments me.

"Fuck you. Actually nevermind. You couldn't even please a whore, I bet." I snarl, turning away from him.

"The hell did you say?!"

"I said, you couldn't even please a whore, you abusive bastard. I'm going back. Not a fucking thing you can do about it either, pig."

His fist flies at my shoulder, but I dodge. "Fight me, you fucking freak. I'll kill-"

"You'll kill me? Really? You make a lot of promises you can't keep, daddy." I say with saccharine sweetness. "Pretty damn sad Kenpachi Mori can't kill a kid. How pathetic you are."

The fight starts immediately. It astounds me how little fear I feel for this creep now, after a few years training with Old Man Yamma. It also strikes me how much stronger I've gotten. However, something is a little off about his smell. He doesn't smell like a normal soul reaper exactly. All soul reapers I've smelled have an underlying scent of steel. Quincy's smell more like burnt reishi. Hollows smell like stagnant water for some reason. This man smells like cheap sake, cheap women and fake flesh, sort of like a geigai.

His men form a circle around us, taunting me. These men had hurt me many times over the years. Well, I'll hurt them too. Every last one of them. They like their captain. I'll take him from them. I wait for the opportune moment before shifting into my wolf, catching him by surprise. I don't give him time to react, just jump on him and tear his throat out. His men flee in terror. But I'm not finished. I use my claws to tear open his chest and, against Okami's wishes, I break his ribs to tear out his heart. I hear approaching feet and decide to eat my prize before disappearing into the forest of Zaraki. It tastes fake. I'm going to be sick, most likely. This was some type of doll. Has to be. Disgusting...

******************

I really hate fish but I don't think I'm big enough to kill a deer yet. Squirrels are too fast too. I'm so hungry that I'll have to give in soon and go fishing again. My little belly rumbles in an effort to make me move quicker. I lay still as long as possible before heading to the river. Once there, I drink quickly, not paying attention to my surroundings. I haven't needed to for a year or two now. I've been out here for four.

"Well now, what a pretty little wolf." a gentle, calm voice says from the other side of the river.

I growl at the man, letting my fur raise as much as possible to give me a more intimidating appearance. I'm only four and a half feet tall and about five feet long at this point in time, so not very scary. He's pretty big, both height and weight wise, but he seems friendly enough. I laugh in my head though. He has bubblegum pink hair and mustache.

"Oh, no no. Don't be scared. I won't hurt you, little one. Here, are you hungry?" he smiles serenely and holds out a few strips of jerky. My mouth waters. I haven't had anything but fish for the past four years. Without stopping to think about it, I jump in the water and swim to the other side. He laughs when I shake myself off and tosses the jerky to me. "There now. My name is Hachigen. I'm going to take a guess and say that you're not a wolf. I'd like to be your friend, if you'd let me. I'm supposed to be looking for a young lady that went missing four years ago but...well, I'm sure she had her reasons to disappear."

I finish eating the jerky and sniff for more. He chuckles and tosses three more strips, which I devour quickly.

"Where is your pack? Young wolves shouldn't be alone. Are you lost?"

I growl a little, not quite angrily but he seems to understand. "You're still very young, I can see. Would you like to see a trick?" I tilt my head and he smiles again at me. Suddenly I'm surrounded by kido butterflies of all different colors. I chase them happily, causing Hachi to laugh in delight.

****Kenpachi POV****

I watch Harmona sleepin', feelin' peaceful finally. She's sweatin' at last. I haven't slept yet, too worried about her fever. I put a hand to her forehead and let out a sigh of relief. She feels much cooler than she has for the past three hours. Her eye cracks open. "Pachi?"

"Hey, hot stuff." I tease her.

She moves her arm, frownin' at the tubes. "Why?"

"You were pretty dehydrated. Isane said it's your body tryin' to adjust and hooked you to some saline so your fever would break quicker. That was about three hours ago, give or take a few minutes."

"I need to pee." she mumbles before gettin' her feet outta bed and under her. She rolls the IV pole with her, though I see it's more to keep herself up than because she wants to. I wait patiently for her to return and she eventually does after washin' her hands. When she's settled under the blanket again, I wrap her in my arms. "You didn't get off earlier."

"You were sick, Wolf. I realized it when I made you cum. Your skin got hotter and you dried up almost immediately. I knew somethin' was wrong."

"Sorry for spoiling your fun." she yawns. "I keep having dreams but no nightmares for once."

"Good. You look better too, though not top shape yet." She wiggles against me a bit. "Lay still, damn it."

"I wanna pull the tube out. I don't like them."

"No, Harmona. Leave it alone. You're still dehydrated, I can tell. Isane will be here bright and early in about six hours, so just leave them so the saline does what it's supposed to."

"You worry too much."

"I mean it. Leave it alone."

She stiffens for a moment then sighs. "Yes, sir."

To distract her, I kiss her neck. "Sleep. You can make it up to me later."

"Funny how things change. I did this once for you." she says softly.

"What?"

"When I was still a wolf. You got sick with a virus that was going around and the fever put you in a coma. I snuck in here after Isane and Ikkaku checked on you."

This is the first I've heard of this. "I don't understand."

"After they left, I came here to kill you. But...seeing you so sick and vulnerable, I felt disgusted with myself and chose to use my body to keep you warm instead. I let you pet me, while you slept. I think I was already starting to love you."

"That long?"

"Yeah, I know. Mushy stuff." she laughs. "But I can't change how I feel. I love you, Kenpachi. I won't ever stop loving you."

I kiss her neck again. "Sleep, Wolf. I love you too. That'll never change."

I feel her relax instantly and her breath evens out. My eyelids drop finally as I relax into sleep with her. She'll be fine now, I'm sure...

I'm startled awake by the sound of her gettin' sick. I'm on my feet and in the bathroom with her in seconds, holdin' her hair. "The hell happened?"

"Dizzy. The room is literally spinning." she mumbles before pukin' again. Her skin is hot to the touch again. I almost think I see steam in the air around her body.

I turn and get the water in the bath runnin' a lot cooler than she likes. "You're too damn hot, Wolf. Did this happen when he was put in too?"

"Not as bad....or maybe I don't remember how bad it was since it was so long ago."

Once I get the tub full, I put her in it. She keeps a firm hold on my hand but seems to accept this must be done. After a few minutes she's sweatin' again, her hair drenched from it. She's startin' to shiver too. "Better?"

"Cold." she mumbles, pullin' the IV tube out. "Hate it."

"Damn it, I said to leave it alone!" I growl.

She doesn't respond, havin' passed out again. Once I'm sure she's cool, I drain the tub and get her dried off. I get her back in bed and shove another pill in her mouth. She's in no shape for gettin' outta bed for anythin'. I lay back down beside her and pull her as close to me as I can. I'm exhausted for some reason. Must be this damn chain thing. We're both gunna have to adjust to it...

****Harmona - Dream****

I sneak into Shunsui's office, knowing full well he's outside with Jushiro. I'm embarrassed to ask questions about a particular problem I've been having lately. Captain Yamamoto let me speak to my mother about normal girl problems but mom didn't tell me about anything like this. Sometimes, during battle, I feel warm and tingly where I shouldn't. Only when it's a good fight and it's never brought on by a particular person. Battle in general and the pain from battle though...even just thinking about it has me a little stirred up.

I finally find the magazines that he's hidden in the fake drawer in his desk. He's never said he had them but I heard rumors from some of the people in squad 8 about them. I stare at the pictures, feeling hot all over as there's lots of nipples, vagina's and penis's on display on the pages. I envy the women who look so pleased by the men being inside them. I wonder if I'll ever find someone...no. I can't. Wolves mate for life, Okami says. I never want to get married and that's basically what will happen.

I find a picture of a man bending the woman over a table, his penis already inside her. This really gets to me and I'm aggravated I'll never experience this for myself. I quickly put the magazine back. Apparently this feeling is sexual arousal. Great. I sigh and exit the office, going in search of my father figures. I need a distraction and I find it by stealing Shunsui's hat and making him chase me all over the Seireitei...

****Awake****

The murmur of voices wakes me. The sky outside the window is bright, probably near noon. Zaraki lets out a soft grunt behind me before pulling my body back against his chest. I smile and get comfortable. Shunsui appears at my side of the bed. "Hey, you're awake!"

"Not that I want to be." I mumble.

"I'm letting you and Zaraki off for a couple more days. That fever finally broke completely and he's exhausted from taking care of you and the kids. I think he just fell asleep about twenty minutes ago."

"But-"

"It's been three days since you came back from Kisuke's. We were all pretty worried."

"This happened last time too, but I don't remember it being so bad."

He pets my head softly. "I think you're on the mend now. I'll take the kids with me back to Squad One and have some of my people train them a bit while you two rest. Ryden needs something to do besides chase the men." he chuckles.

"Hey, Swee?"

"Hmm?"

"Does your offer still stand?"

"What offer?"

"To adopt me."

"Of course it does. And it always will."

"I...do it. Please. You've been my dad for a long time. I want it legal."

His smile is genuinely happy. "I'll get the paperwork started today. You just rest, sweetheart." he says before bending and kissing my forehead. He leaves without saying anything else. I can tell he's happy. He hasn't really pestered me about it but Shunsui has asked a time or two if I've thought about it. Well, now that I'm free, I'll take what I deserve. Happiness.


	44. Chapter 44

I watch Harmona sleep. She's got dark circles again, like she used to have. Shunsui had come by earlier and I fell asleep on him while we were talkin' about her. I remember hearing him talk to her for a minute or two. Somethin' about adoption. My lights went out though. Harmona looks so damn pale it's botherin' me. Her fever is finally gone but her skin seems cool to the touch. I pull her against me and pull the blanket back up over us. She rolls in her sleep and wraps an arm and a leg over me before snugglin' as close as she can get. I rest my head on hers and let my eyes close again.

****Dream****

I'm sittin' with Retsu, drinkin' sake while she drinks her damn tea. She always invites me to sit for tea knowin' damn good and well I'm gunna refuse to drink tea. I never understood why, though sometimes, I think it's a good thing. She can be her old self around me and she knows it.

"Captain Zaraki, I need to..." she pauses. This ain't normal for her.

"What? Spit it out, woman." I grumble, figurin' on gettin' lectured again.

"I feel the familiar feet over my grave. I need your word that should I die, you'll do me a favor."

"Depends on the favor. I don't like bein' in someone's debt, Retsu, and you know it."

"I need you to find someone for me. Blue. I...will rest easier knowing there's someone there for her."

"Her? Shit. You know my luck with women. The hell am I supposed to do with a damn girl?"

She laughs softly, though I see a tear roll down her cheek. Tears? From The Kenpachi? I don't like it. "You'd like this one, if she hasn't changed. I haven't seen my...Blue for two hundred years. I miss her so badly my heart constantly aches."

"Tch. The hell is wrong with you, woman? You're gettin' all sappy and shit. This what happens when you get old or somethin'?"

"Please, just promise me."

"No. I ain't promisin' shit."

"Do it or I will haunt you for the rest of your existence." she says, her voice takin' on that scary undertone that means death.

"Fine, ya pushy damn thing. The hell does this Blue look like?"

"I have no clue anymore. When I saw her last, she had beautiful blue hair and eyes like ice. But, I can tell you, she's a lot like you. She's a fighter."

More tears fall from her eyes. "What the fuck is goin' on? Why are you cryin'?"

"I wish I could tell her the things she needs to hear but I know I won't see her before my time is ended. I want to tell her that I love her. That her father does too. That I'm sorry for her childhood....mostly that I'm sorry I failed her."

"Who is she?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." she smiles sadly before finishin' her tea. "Please, promise me."

"Fine, I promise. You're so damn pushy."

"You're a good man, underneath all that hard exterior." she laughs. "Thank you. I don't trust anyone else to find her and make her happy."

"Wait a minute here. I ain't gunna find her and marry her, Retsu. I'm just gunna find her for you and she can make herself happy for all I care. I'll keep her safe though, that I do promise."

She eyes me keenly. "I think you'll find yourself eating those words. She loves fighting. She could've taken my title, if she'd really wanted to. She's strong...but she has her weaknesses too. Just like you do."

"Tch. You're tryin' to draw me into a fight?"

"Not tonight, no. Tonight I just want to drink and enjoy the pleasure of your company."

"I ain't havin' sex with you."

"I wouldn't want that. My heart belongs to a different captain."

"That damn sickly one? Jushiro?"

"Yes."

"Marry him then, ya twit. He's always sick. You never know when he's gunna keel over. It'd make you both happy."

"You are such an ass sometimes."

We both laugh before she moves to sit next to me and leans so her head is on my shoulder. "That hell is this, Retsu?"

"You're a good friend. I just-"

I shut her up by pullin' her in my lap and holdin' her. "You're pathetic when you're all sappy like this."

****Awake****

I'm woken by her kissin' my throat gently. I keep my eyes closed as her lips move to my chest. When she stops I open one. She's still asleep, it seems. I kiss her forehead softly and she catches my by surprise, rollin' us over so she's on top of me. Her lips catch mine but she's gentle and unhurried. This is unusual. I pull away and study her. She looks exhausted still. "You ok?"

"I'm cold. And hungry. And thirsty. And I love you."

"And? Anythin' else?" I tease.

"I'm sleepy."

"I can tell."

She gives me a smile before tuckin' her head under my chin. Her hand comes up and strokes my hair in a similar manner I do to her sometimes. "I feel empty. Like I'm not myself now. But I can feel you there too. It's confusing."

"We'll figure it out. You're belly is bein' loud. Let's eat."

"I think I'll need some help. I'm still disoriented and, to be honest, I'm seeing four of you at the present moment."

"Did that happen-"

"Yes. It did. I'll be ok, I think. I just need to give Okami time to recalibrate. That demon was chained to him too so...I think....I've lost part of my bankai."

"We'll see when you're feelin' up to it."

I sit up, bringin' her up with me before carryin' her to the kitchen and sittin' her on the counter. She watches me as I start makin' some breakfast, includin' her bacon she always likes. "I don't want anything but meat. I'm feeling a little...blood lusty. I guess it's a new normal now."

"I'd rather you be just lusty, but I can deal with it." I tease her.

"Feed me and I'll see about being lusty for you, Captain. I do owe you, after all." she replies, her voice gettin' husky.

"Why do you gotta get me all hot and bothered while I'm tryin' to cook, woman?" I growl, poppin' a piece of bacon in her mouth. She smirks at me as she bites my fingers. I get it now. She's teasin' me on purpose. Two can play that game. I grab the small pot of honey from the counter behind her. "Tease me, woman, and I'm gunna tease you back until you're beggin'. Got it?"

She fuckin' giggles but nods her head. I get back to cookin' and she settles down to watch me. It doesn't take long, since all she wants is meat. I feed her bits and pieces of bacon while I cook her some eggs too and the cheeky brat bites my fingers each time. I finish the eggs and move them off the burner before grabbin' her head and kissin' her roughly. While I'm kissin' her, I open the pot of honey and stick my fingers in. I rub the honey around her nipples, makin' her gasp. "What are you doing, Captain?"

"You got a captain kink or somethin'?" I snap back.

"Maybe today."

I growl a little and latch onto a nipple, lickin' the honey off slowly.

****Harmona POV****

He's teasing me. I suppose I deserve it. He did warn me what he would do if I didn't stop teasing. When he switches to my other nipple, I moan softly. He brings his honey-covered fingers to my mouth and I clean them, sucking and biting teasingly as I do. He moans softly and bites my nipple, causing me to jump. I hear him laughing as he lifts me, causing my legs to wrap around his hips. I hear the scrape of the jar on the countertop as he grabs it too and carries it with us. I'm laid on the table and he flips my hair so that it's above my head. I don't have time to protest before he covers me in the honey.

"You're so damn messy, woman. Like a little bear cub." he teases. "What am I gunna do with you, fourth seat?" his mouth descends on my neck, licking the honey away in slow, teasing licks.

"Captain!" My body feels hot, overly so.

"Shhh. You're bein' punished, woman. I warned you not to keep teasin' me." he growls against my throat, causing goose bumps to rise. My nipples harden as my mind wanders to how good he's making me feel. His mouth travels down a little, removing all traces of the honey. "What's this, fourth seat? Your nipples are hard as fuckin' rocks. You're not supposed to enjoy bein' punished."

I moan as he finally pays attention to my nipple, though the action causes my body to feel fevered. He growls and bites it again, causing my back to arch. When he has this one clean, he moves to the other and repeats the bite, causing me to scream. He swats me between my legs before his tongue begins cleaning lower on my torso. I'm having trouble staying still. I want him inside me. As is tongue cleans the honey from my belly button, I begin stroking my clit, needing relief.

"Did I say you could do that, woman?" he snarls, sounding angry.

"No but-"

"But nothin'. Move your hand." I try to remove it but he grabs my hand and guides it as I tease myself. "See why I'm addicted to your body? You're so eager for me. So willin' to fuck me. Why is that, fourth seat?"

"Because I love you and you feel so good, Captain!"

"Damn right."

His mouth descends on me again as he finishes cleaning the honey before coming back to my mouth. His kiss is different somehow. It's not demanding or hurried like usual. His hand moves mine from teasing myself and he thrusts into me, slow but deep. I taste the honey on his tongue. I feel myself being lost in the pleasure.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's relaxin' her body. I noticed she was tense while she was sittin' on the counter and decided to do somethin' about it. She's so damn hot right now, so damn eager. I continue kissin' her and teasin' her with slow, deep thrusts. She's lettin' out little noises, music to my ears as I feel her gettin' wetter and tightenin' herself on me. She pulls her mouth away as her whole body shudders suddenly. I'm drenched with her juices.

"Kenpachi, more." she moans softly before kissin' me, her hands holdin' my head still.

A gentle cough behind me makes me glare over my shoulder. Yumichika stands there, blushin'. "Sir...uhm....we have orders."

"I'm busy." I growl.

"They're urgent."

I watch Harmona. She looks lost in pleasure. "Wolf, I gotta finish fast." I say before speeding up the tempo.

"Captain, really, these order's aren't going-"

I feel my reiatsu flare violently. I've got no damn control of it. "Shut up, bird brain." I snarl.

Harmona's back arches as once again she loses control. "Kenpachi!"

Her scream drives me over the edge and I lock myself inside her as I fill her, my own body shudderin' violently. When I regain composure, I turn to glare at Yumichika. His cheeks are scarlet. "Please, don't be angry with me, sir. There's a problem in the Rukongai. Arrancar invasion and they've taken a young noble for some reason. We've been ordered to go clear out the rest of the intruders while Squad six goes to retrieve the hostage."

"Tch. Fine. It'll be boring. Wolf, you comin' along?" I feel a cold nose on my ass and jump before turnin' to glare at her. She's still a damn puppy...a fuckin' cute puppy. She gives me a growl and it's so damn pathetic I have to laugh. "Come on, we'll see what all has changed. You can't go like that though. Those arrancars would eat you."

"Sir, what in the hell happened!?" Yumichika shouts before pickin' her up. "You shrunk her!? I'm so glad you didn't take me up on my offer all those years ago, if this is what your sperm is capable of!"

Harmona growls again and I scrub her head affectionately. "Come on, Wolf. Let's go."

She shifts again. "Yumichika, carry me to the bedroom, please. I feel sure that going on a mission naked is only going to cause problems."

He rolls his eyes but smiles at her. "For enemies and allies alike, it would." he says as he carries her away. I follow and pull my own uniform on as they chatter as she gets dressed. I feel her lips on my back once I'm done.

"Wolf, you stick with me but out of the way. I wanna test this chain thing."

"Got it." she says seriously.

"And what are your orders for the rest of us, sir?" Yumichika asks.

"Kill em all."

****Harmona POV****

"What the fuck is that thing!?"

A roar sounds overhead and I see some sort of monster. A snake's tail, the horns and legs of a deer, the body and arms of a man and the head of some sort of brown, furry monster. I hear Zaraki laugh beside me. "Looks like fun. Wolf, stay back."

"Fun hog." I tease him.

I behead an arrancar as it charges at me from the left side. The sight of the blood is maddening to me. "Everyone, get the fuck away from me. Now." I shout and my reiatsu spirals out of control, toppling trees around us. My vision clouds to red as my temper flares. This disgusting arrancar blood coating my skin is pissing me off. Their weak attacks are pissing me off too. Fuck it. I'll kill them all.

****Kenpachi POV****

I dodge a cero from this big brute. I heard the three women who are missin' their arms call it Ayon. It's a pain in the ass but it fights pretty damn good. It's speed is gettin' faster. I'm distracted momentarily by a cold, evil feelin'. Harmona. I look for her when I land a slash on Ayon's leg before dodgin' a punch from him. She's flittin' from enemy to enemy. The area around her is turnin' into a slaughter field. I see the men have retreated from her. Ikkaku and Yumichika are the closest to her, keepin' an eye on her I assume. I feel her rage as if it's my own. Her berserker side is loose. Probably good. There's a lot of these damn arrancar. As dangerous as she is like this, she's savin' a lot of lives.

Ayon lets out a roar and I'm clipped by a cero. Fuck, it burns. I hear Harmona's enraged scream and suddenly there's chaos. Limbs are flyin' past me, blood splatterin' everywhere. The men are shoutin' and runnin' like hell away from the area. I take a hit from Ayon's fist and suddenly she's here in front of me like a blood covered angel. Her reiatsu is on my level for the first time ever. She glances at me over her shoulder and my blood runs cold. Her eyes are so dilated they look black, no trace of blue at all.

"You're in my way, Wolf." I growl at her.

She lifts her lip in a snarl and I smirk. Her teeth are stained with blood, whether it's hers or not is questionable. I don't see any injuries on her to indicate she's bleedin'. Ayon blasts another cero and my jaw drops in shock. Harmona lets out her own roar and lets her reiatsu climb even higher before she swings a claw at it. The cero flies back into Ayon's face and he topples. Harmona ain't done, however. She charges in to attack, clawin' out one of his eyes before he randomly disappears. A garganta opens in the sky and the arrancar flee through it. She tries to pursue them but it closes before she can get to it. She lets out an enraged scream before crouchin' down to the ground.

"Uhm...so how're we gunna deal with her?" Ikkaku asks quietly from beside me.

"What?"

"She's gotten a helluva lot more violent. It was kinda disgusting to watch but interesting too."

Harmona turns back towards us and, in the blink of an eye, she's tacklin' me to the ground. She isn't hurtin' me though, nor is she even tryin'. She just sits on me, glarin' for a moment before she puts a dent in the ground by my head. "Those cowards ran away. I didn't even get to play with them long." she snarls.

"Long enough to get all bloody. Is it yours?"

"Only on my knuckles. Everywhere else is theirs." she grins. I see the blue returnin' to her eyes slowly.

I lift her hand from my chest and inspect it. Fresh blood is flowin' out of her knuckles slowly and she's busted them pretty deep. "What happened?"

"A stupid fucking cat with his mask on the side of his face! And a stupid number six on his back!" she yells. "I hit him in his mask and busted one then he dodged and I hit a tree with the other. Fucking pansy!"

I chuckle. "That's my woman."

"Kenpachi...this chain thing is a nuisance." she grumbles.

"Why?"

"I was furious but I was still able to keep enough control to not kill anyone. My head hurts now."

"You'd rather be a mindless beast?"

"In battle, yeah. Thinking just slows me down." She takes a deep breath and her body shudders. The anger I felt earlier is gone, replaced by hunger and...I smirk.

"I can feel your emotions. It's strange." I tell her softly.

She blushes before kissin' my forehead and gettin' to her feet. "I need a shower."

"Yeah, you do...why're your hands still bleedin'?"

"Okami is still recovering." she shrugs. "It's fine. You can wrap my hands once I get cleaned up, if it'll ease your worry, Captain."

I get back to my feet and watch her. "You ok?"

"I'm hungry." she sighs before startin' to walk off. I catch her before she hits the ground as she passes out. Her skin is hot again but not bad enough to make her lose consciousness.

"Sir...I'll get Captain Kotetsu to come by. Why don't you get her home and cleaned up? And get yourself cleaned up too."

I glance down at my hip and realize it's bleedin. It burns a bit from the cero. "Got it."

"I'll handle the report too."

I nod as I begin walkin'. I'm gettin' flashes from her...like memories. Shit. If her memories are comin' back, could that explain the headache she's got? I feel it too. It's throbbin' and gettin' worse. I remember Kisuke sayin' that wounds would be felt but not somethin' like this. It's annoyin'.

****Harmona POV****

My eyes open as I'm set down in the bath. Zaraki sits behind me as he starts cleaning my arms and chest. "Pachi?"

"You passed out. Probably didn't get enough to eat before we left." he answers softly. I can sense something is bothering him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'."

"You really stink when you lie, you know? It's like smelling a rotting carcass that's been sitting in the sun for days. Everyone smells like that when they lie."

He's silent for a few minutes as he rinses the gore from my arms. "Are your memories comin' back?"

I bite my lip. "Little pieces. I haven't said anything because I didn't want to worry you."

"I'm seein' them too, Wolf."

My breath catches. "Just...ignore them. I'm fine."

He lifts me suddenly and places me in his lap, holding me as tightly as he can with his cheek resting on my head. "You're stronger than I ever thought, woman. I never realized how much you were hidin' from me before your memories were taken."

"Don't, Kenpachi. There's no point in dwelling on the past. It's over. He's dead." He kisses the top of my head and continues washing me without replying. His touch seems lighter than normal. Hesitant. I growl at him and turn in his arms, glaring. "When in the hell did you get weak, Kenpachi? Is it because of this chain? Now you feel and see what I went through, so you decide you're going to be weak around me? I don't want your pity!"

"Would you rather me be rough with you? Violent like he was?"

"I want you do be like you've always been with me! I don't want your goddamn pity!"

His hand tangles in my hair before jerking my head back and biting my neck. I feel his canines pierce my skin slightly and my body jerks in response. He growls against my neck before tearing his nails down my back. A strangled moan erupts from my lips. "I have no pity for you, woman. Just respect. Now, we're gunna finish this bath and then you're gunna go back to bed. Your skin is hot again."

"Come with me?"

"Obviously. I can't trust you to stay in bed where you belong unless I'm there." he teases.

****Kenpachi POV****

She's sleepin'. I'm watchin' her. I want to sleep too but I can't get the images out of my head. This woman has seen and been through some horrible shit in her life. I wonder if she can see things I'm thinkin' of? She rolls and buries her face in my neck before lettin' out a soft sigh. I can't resist the urge to bury my hand her hair. We'll have to get this chain shit figured out. I noticed a burn mark on her in the tub, exactly where that cero hit me. Hers wasn't as bad as mine but strangely enough, after cleanin' it, mine started healin'. I wonder if Okami now has to heal both of us?

"Yes. And I don't mind."

I close my eyes for a moment. "Okami, you really gotta stop poppin' out randomly."

"Alpha, with her memories returned and you seeing them, do not pity her. She will not regress to how she was before. Not with your influence. This chain you share...I was against it at first. But I see a strength in her she didn't have before. She is remembering everything and instead of fear or shame she feels determination to get stronger."

"How long is she gunna be sick for?"

"I...am the one who is sick. We are so connected she feels it though. Forgive me. I'm shielding her as much as I can. I'm feeling better today but I fear it will be a little while longer to recover completely. Think of it as a hangover, I suppose."

I glance over my shoulder and blink a few times. The 9 foot wolf has gotten a lot smaller. He's about four feet now and his eyes have faded to a reddish-brown. He looks sick, even by my standards. "The hell is wrong with you?"

"Being chained to that thing for so long was like having a slow acting poison inside us. The damage must heal." he grunts. "We will be back to normal soon."

"What about her bankai?"

He hesitates before he sighs. "The stage two as she calls it wasn't exactly part of her bankai. It was more of a fusion of her wolf and that demon. However, that form is gone now. She can still use the zombies." He laughs a little. "Now I can really teach her stage two. It will be difficult and put a lot of strain on her power until she masters it but...I have faith."

"Good. I want her stronger. Strong enough to kill me even, if she ever wishes."

"With that chain you both would die. However, I will help you train her to be stronger. She can do it. The chain is doing what the demon was meant to, you know. It's allowing her to be a berserker but it's holding her sanity in check. I'm pleased by this discovery."

"You noticed too, huh?"

"Of course. How could I not?" he coughs a couple times. "Excuse me now, Alpha. I must rest some more. Her fever should be broken for good soon."

"Okami, focus on healin' yourself. I'll worry about her. If you're sick then she'll stay sick."

"True enough. Thank you."

He disappears just as Harmona opens her eyes. She studies me for a minute before kissin' my chest. "Sleep, Pachi. You look exhausted and your skin is hot like mine."

"Don't wanna."

"Do it anyway."

"Make me."

She wastes no time tryin' to wear my ass out. She succeeds too, though it takes a little while. Not that I'm complainin'.


	45. Chapter 45

I pin Zaraki beneath me. "I like you in this position, darling." I tease him. He snorts but stays down.

"I'll have you know, I let you win. I'm starvin'." he grumbles.

"I know you let me win. And I thank you. I might reward you later." I say before kissing him. He grabs a handful of my hair as he takes the kiss over. When I'm completely out of air, and possibly brain cells, he releases me with a smirk on his face.

"Food?"

"You're a fucking tease, Captain. One of these days I'm just going to have my way with you in front of the men if you continue to tease me during training like this." I growl, not really meaning it.

"Tch. So easy to mess your head up, Wolf. I know you enjoy it but I'm pretty damn sure sex has no part in battle."

"Mmm, sex. Would you like some?"

"Did you hear a word I just said?"

"Sex. I heard that word." I laugh before getting to my feet. "Food now. I'll fight you again after food."

"Fight or fuck?"

I wink at him with a sharky grin. "Both if you play your cards right."

The past two weeks have been a blur for the most part. Okami had finally returned to normal after four more days. Zaraki and I had recovered and gotten down to training, testing the limits of this chain as best we can. In our off time, we train the triplets. At night...well, at night we're too busy doing anything but sleeping. The fights we have just serve as foreplay really, though it is actual training. If anything, our bond has gotten stronger. I trust him completely, with my life or my death. Maybe because he's seen the horrors of my childhood and, instead of pity, he teaches me how to get stronger. It's a win-win situation for both of us, really...

"Mama, wanna go see gampa!" Ashiro pouts as we finish lunch.

"You do, huh? And what'll you say if I say Grandpa will be coming to get you this evening?" I ask, my eyebrows raised.

"Gampa!" the three scream and race out the door.

"Why's Shunsui comin' to get em?" Zaraki asks as he finishes his last bite of stir fry.

"I have paperwork to sign and then we're having dinner with him and Akane."

"Paperwork for what?"

"I asked him to formally adopt me. He's always been my dad in a sense so I wanted it on paper and legal."

"You're an adult though. Why the hell do you need adopted this late in life?" he grumbles.

"For my peace of mind." I shrug. I honestly can't explain why I wanted it done. I just do.

"As long as it makes you happy, whatever."

As I take our plates back to the kitchens, I smile a little. Upon my return, I curl a finger at him. "Come on. We have more fighting to do, Captain."

"Yumichika, take the runts out and work on their shunpo."

"Yes, Captain."

****Kenpachi POV****

Harmona lays in a heap of rubble. She'd been fuckin' around again and didn't plant her feet as usual. My head hurts so I know she's got some damage. I storm over to the pile and yank her out by her foot. She doesn't struggle or make a peep. She's got a gash above her eyebrow that's bleedin' pretty bad. Her eyes look a little dazed.

"You alive?" I ask her, crouchin' down beside her.

"I think. I smell blood." she mumbles.

"Yeah, your forehead is busted up." I chuckle.

"Oh. Well, least it's nothing serious." I watch as the wound heals, quicker than normal. She sighs and sits up before getting back on her feet. "I don't think I'll ever plant my feet good enough for you to not knock me off of them."

"Then learn to move quicker." I suggest.

She glances down at me and smirks. I don't like that smirk. Every fuckin' time she does that she's up to somethin'. Right before I open my mouth to tell her to focus, she pounces on me, knockin' us into a roll. When we stop, she's perched on my hips. "Like that?"

"You damn brat."

She laughs before leanin' down to kiss me. "I'm wore out. I think I need a nap now, Captain."

"I don't think so." I growl.

"Why?"

I shift her back a little. "Because you've teased me long enough, woman. Fightin' with nothin' but a bra and a pair of skin tight shorts on."

"You know, darling, I've noticed since that demon was removed, you're a lot more addicted to me. Why is that?"

I pause. She's got a point. "Because you've gotten stronger."

"Oh, so you're with me for my strength, huh?" she laughs before clockin' me in the cheek. "Do you like it when I beat you up, Captain?"

I smirk and roll so I've got her pinned. "I like it when you're angry and hot for me." I growl in her ear.

"I'm always hot for you."

"So what's the problem?"

"No problem. It's just something I've noticed lately. You just seem a little different, that's all."

"It's this goddamn chain, woman. I feel everything you feel. Did you know every time you hear me talk, it arouses you? And every time we fight, I feel how badly you're distracted by need for me. I don't know how the hell you can function like this. I can smell you too, Harmona. I thought you smelled good before but this chain amplified it. It's intoxicatin'."

I watch as her cheeks flush and her eyes begin burnin' for me. "Anything else?"

"I fuckin' love you. What more reason do I need to bury myself inside you?"

"Take me home. Now." she orders.

****Harmona POV****

I sign the last of the documents Shunsui brought with him. Once completed, two of his clan's elders stamp their seal of approval and bow. "Welcome to the family, Mrs. Zaraki. Come to dinner tonight so we may begin to know you." one says, smiling kindly. His hazel eyes are sincere so I return his smile.

"Thank you. I will gladly join you for dinner."

As the elders leave, Shunsui hugs me and kisses my cheek. "I want you to be the first to know but...I'm going to ask Akane to marry me."

"What!?" My shock is genuine but I'm happy for him.

"I finally found the woman for me, kiddo. I just wanted to tell you first, since you're officially my kid now."

"I'm happy for you! Akane's a very sweet girl and I can tell she really likes you, Dad. Treat her right, ok? No more chasing other women."

"I only want to chase one woman now and it's her." he chuckles. "Anyway, bring Kenpachi and the kids along with you. I'm sure they'll want to enjoy the celebration tonight. I've invested in some fireworks even."

I grin. "Will do."

"Don't tell anyone, ok? Just between you and me until dinner. I want to surprise her."

"I promise."

He waves as he leaves and I squash my excitement for him down so I won't be acting funny or making Zaraki suspicious. He may play dumb sometimes but he catches onto things way too easily for him to really be dumb. I get back to paperwork, finishing the final small stack before pilfering Zaraki's sake out of the drawer...

A thump behind me makes me crack an eye open as a familiar hand snakes over my side to pull be back against his chest. "You little thief. How dare you steal my sake?" he growls teasingly.

"It was good. I saved you a sip." I giggle.

He kisses the back of my head. "It's almost dinner time. Yumichika is at the house waitin' to play dress up with you."

"I'd rather dress down with you, Pachi."

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm a little buzzed."

He rolls me over and kisses me. "Come on. Get goin'. Who knows, maybe if Yumichika gets you all dolled up I'll be too distracted to embarrass you."

"You never embarrass me." I frown.

"Go get dressed. Please."

************

As we arrive at Shunsui's family home, several children come forth and invite the triplets to play. They go without a fuss, even calling a couple by name. This must not be the first time Swee has brought them to play. Speaking of Swee, he steps off the veranda to meet us, holding his arms open for a hug, which I give him. "There's my girl. You look beautiful. You didn't have to get all fancy though. My family isn't as judgmental as the great noble clans." he chuckles.

"Now you tell me. I practically had to tie her down to get her dressed." Zaraki teases.

"I'm pretty sure if it includes tying someone down, you're doing the opposite of getting dressed, Zaraki."

Zaraki laughs and pulls me back to his side. I wrap my arm around his back. Shunsui leads us to a small peach orchard in the back of his home. I dart off to watch the koi in the pond. They aren't as pretty as Kuchiki's but they're much bigger.

"You'll pick yours soon, dearie. Every family member does. Sometimes when they're children like your triplets, other times when they marry into the family." a gentle voice says. One I recognize. I keep my head bowed in respect.

"You're the one that helped me at the hearing with Central Forty Six."

"Indeed, I am. And I've known for many, many years that my grandson would eventually bring you home as his own." the woman says as she sits beside me. "He's talked about you many times, even when you were but a child yourself. I wasn't part of the government then but, had I been, you would never have gone through what you did."

"Thank you. It brings me comfort to hear that."

She smiles and points at a black and gold koi, a little smaller than the rest. "That's Nanao's koi. It always will be smaller than the others, though it eats more. Of all the fish she could've picked, she picked the one that has a small disability. It's heart doesn't work correctly, you see."

"Nanao? Ise?"

"Mmhm. She is the daughter of his brother, you see. His brother was foolish to marry an Ise, but that girl is just as sweet as she can be. They're cursed, you see. They only have females in their direct bloodline and their husbands die soon after marriage. Perhaps days, some months. It's a sad thing."

"I never knew that about her." I say quietly.

The old woman grabs my face and forces me to look at her. Her eyes search mine for what seems like hours before she smiles and turns me loose. "You'll do nicely, dear. He's chosen his daughter well."

"I...Jushiro Ukitake was my real father."

"Yes, and, were he still alive, Shunsui would be your godfather instead of your adoptive one. Either way, he would've been a father figure to you. He and Jushiro were as close as brothers, something he and Nanao's father never had."

"He's a good man. I've always seen him as more of a father than anything else."

She gets to her feet and holds her hand out to me. "Come along. Let's eat. I'm old and need good food."

I laugh and let her lead me into the small mansion. It's not as large as the Kuchiki estate but it's still bigger than the office, our home and the mess hall combined. She sits next to me, therefore leaving me sandwiched between her and Zaraki. She continues talking to me throughout the meal, which is delicious. Zaraki stays quiet unless speaking to Shunsui or Akane, who are directly across from him at the table. The other elders, including the two men from earlier, seem more focused on playing with the triplets by playing with their food. This...really feels like family...

Shunsui stands, blushing slightly before turning to Akane. He clears his throat before getting to one knee. "Akane, I...I find myself at a loss for what to say at this point. You have become the one woman I think of, night and day. I dream of you being by my side through this life and I-"

"Well now, I don't think there's a need for a speech. Let's cut to the chase, shall we? You're asking me to marry you?" Akane asks sweetly.

"Yeah." Shunsui's voice trembles a little.

To my surprise, Akane throws herself into his arms. "How would you ever think I'd say no, you idiot!" she laughs. "I'd be proud to be your wife!"

A loud chorus of cheers and clapping sounds from my new family as the two love birds kiss. Granny studies Zaraki as he takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You two are why he's done this, you know." she smiles. "You've stayed together through everything you've been through. Many would've broken apart. You two are crazy, I'll give you that, but your happiness together is a shining example to the rest of us."

"That mean you approve me me finally, Aoi-san?" Zaraki asks, speaking to her directly.

"Finally, I do, you rascal." she teases him.

"Gampa! You said you was gunna have fireworks! Wanna see!" Ryden says, climbing into Shunsui's lap. He turns to Akane and eyes her darkly. "You hurt my Gampa, I hurt you, lady!"

"Ryden, that's enough, runt." Zaraki chuckles. "Akane couldn't hurt a fly so your grandpa is safe with her."

Akane laughs and gets nose to nose with my son. "I wouldn't dream of hurting him, little one. He's old and needs caring for so I have to be really sweet to him or he might wither into a slug." she teases.

He giggles. "Then we'd hafta throw salt on him."

Everyone laughs as Shunsui lets out a defeated sigh. "The things I do for love. Let's go blow things up, my little ones!"

All of the kids, not just my triplets, fly out the door into the back yard. We "old people" follow, my hand never leaving Zaraki's. I lean into him as the flashes start in the sky. Sake is passed around. Zaraki doesn't drink his, which should be a clue to me but I fling mine back. It's not terrible but...it tastes a little off. I don't drink anymore for the night. Maybe it's a reaction to the sake I had earlier.

****Kenpachi POV****

I finally get home around midnight. Harmona is sound asleep in my arms. It's a bit unusual. Normally she wakes when I put her in bed. That sake had somethin' in it. That's why I didn't drink it. I feel ok, just tired. Very tired. As I lay down next to her, my eyes drift closed immediately.

****Harmona - Inner World****

I lay gasping on the ground. I can't breathe. I can't wake either. Okami lays beside me, panting as well. "I cannot heal this poison, little one."

"Ken...pachi?"

"Your mate is succumbing to your illness, but his isn't as severe. He's able to wake."

"....Okami?"

"Do not ask me this!"

"Break the....chain. He must....live." I cough.

"Do not ask me this!" he snarls before laying his head on my back.

***Kenpachi POV***

"The sake was tampered with. There was two different bottles served. No one else besides Harmona, Akane and Granny have gotten ill." Shunsui says tiredly.

"Where'd the bottles come from?" I ask.

"That's the thing. The first bottle was in our wine cellar. The second was delivered as a gift from someone. There was no name on the card with it. Just a note saying congratulations, according to the kitchen staff."

"I need the bottle. I might know where it came from if I saw it."

"I'll have it brought. I need to go see Akane. Please excuse me."

Harmona is deterioratin' in front of my eyes. Her eyes and cheeks look sunken. Her breathin' is labored, sometimes stoppin' all together for a minute or two. Whatever this poison is, she can't fight it. Even I feel like shit through this link...

"It's from the Zaraki district. So it was aimed at Akane, most likely. There's only one bar in that area that has bottles like this. Get Kuchiki here. We need his damn trees to cure it." I grumble from my spot next to Harmona. I'd laid down with her earlier. I'm fuckin' exhausted.

"The bar she worked at?" Shunsui asks, his voice as cold as ice.

"You got it. I know how to cure this but I need blossoms off Kuchiki's sakura tree."

****Harmona POV - Inner world****

"Okami...you have to. He's suffering!" I plead weakly.

"I can't let you die!"

"Break the god....damned chain!" I pound my fist into the ground.

He howls in rage before disappearing. My breathing is harsh, it's so hard to drag air in and push it out. I can't continue. I'm so tired.

****Kenpachi POV****

"Akane's gettin' just as bad as Harmona. Harmona can heal herself, Akane can't. Treat her first." I order.

"But-"

"Just fuckin' do it!"

As the nurses run from the room, I lay my head beside Harmona's, my eyes shuttin for what's probably the final time, it feels. Of all the ways to die, I never woulda imagined it would be this pathetic. I can't breathe. Everythin' is so damn heavy, like my bones are made of boulders. This isn't how this was supposed to be...

"What the hell do you mean!"

"I'm sorry, Head Captain...I don't know what caused it but...the chain is gone between them. Harmona is gone. There's no heart, lung or brain activity." Mayuri says.

Shunsui screams and I hear fists hittin' the wall. My eyes open and I feel nothin'. She's gone. She chose this. Okami came to me and told me before fadin' away. She sacrificed herself for me. She won't be comin' back this time...

*****Epilogue*****

I sit drinkin' at my birthday party. Takeshi is celebratin' his with me too. The triplets are rough housing, though Ashino is holdin' back, not wantin' to scare off her new boy toy, that weirdo from squad 3 with the hair over his eye. Izumi? Bashful? Droopy? The hell is his-

"Captain...one last surprise for you. Captain Kyorakou has been working on it for many years now and sends his regards for your birthday. His wife is indisposed, he says. If you ask me, she's probably-"

"Shut up, Ikkaku. If she's sick, that's their business, not somethin' to cast rumors about." I grumble, lookin' at the huge fuckin' box he's pulled in on a cart.

"What kind of present needs a box so big, I wonder?" Orihime says, rockin' her daughter beside me. Yumichika dotes, like a proud father should, on their little girl. She's cute enough. I even spoil her. I miss havin' little ones of my own to care for. My kids are all grown and in their own squads. Ryden in squad 5, Takeshi in 6 of course and married to Ichika just last month, Ashiro in 13 and Mitsuki in 10.

"Come open it, Pop." Ryden says, a miscievious grin on his face.

"You four are up to somethin' with your damn grandpa." I grouch.

"Maybeh." Mitsuki giggles before pullin' me to my feet. "Come on, dad. Open it."

I sigh and pull the ribbon, watchin' as the box collapses. I don't see what the fuck happens next as I'm tackled to the ground. When I finally get my eye open and able to focus a familiar set of red ones meet mine. "It has been a long time, Alpha."

No....fuck no...."Okami?"

"Go home." he orders before all the lights go out...

I enter the house, my guard up. Lookin' around, I don't see anythin' amiss. Thunder rumbles outside, startlin' me for a moment. "Fuckin' dumb ass. Probably a trick from squad twelve." I growl at myself. Everythin' is dark as I enter the bedroom. I hesitate before decidin' to just go with it and do my normal routine. I get down to my boxers and start brushin' my teeth. When I'm done I head for the kitchen and grab some sake from the fridge, chuggin' it down before goin' back to the bedroom. As I crawl in bed, I bump into somethin. My hand searches it out and I meet an arm...attached to a body. I turn on my lamp and have to take a deep breath. "Harmona?" I say softly.

She doesn't respond. It's been twenty years since her death, yet there's no sign of decay on her at all. If anythin' she looks a little younger. I check her pulse and it's strong. Another deep breath before I shake her a little. Still no response. What was that Tak told me once? To wake up a princess, you gotta kiss her? I hesitate but finally do. She sighs softly and smiles before openin' her eyes. "I always wondered if I could trick you into kissing me like that."

"How?!" I yell, landin' on my ass on the floor as I throw myself backwards. She slides down off the bed and perches on my hips.

"Mayuri...and Shunsui. I gave my life for you, darling. I couldn't let you die. When he repaired Okami before, he...altered him. Think of it like a safety measure."

"I don't understand, woman. We fuckin' buried you!" I snarl, ready to throw her off and kill her permanently.

"You buried a corpse doll. In reality...Okami and I...well, somehow I turned back into a baby in Mayuri's lab. After the funeral, Shunsui took custody of me and...well, he raised me this time, though I've kept every single memory. It's been awkward, you know. I've wanted to come see you so often. I hated hiding from you. Ryden was the first one to discover me. I was supposed to stay hidden but he caught me peering around a corner while he visited Swee. That was six months ago. He's the one that demanded that I be allowed to return to you since I'm an adult again. He and Swee fought a long time until Akane finally put her foot down and sided with our son."

"Why the fuck would you do that to me!?" I roar. I'm askin' more than one question here and I can tell by her eyes she understands.

"I...Kenpachi, I found an escape from my past and I took it. If I hadn't, you would've died with me. I never thought it would hurt you this badly. As for Swee...I think he wanted to make sure I was ready to return before he could let me go. He only wanted me to be happy and loved. And I know how to understand it now. I understand if you're angry enough to not want me anymore. If I were you, I would be too."

"Get off me." I order furiously.

She not only does that, but she retreats to the door of the room, though she doesn't leave. She stands at attention, her eyes followin' me as I get to my feet. I turn my back to her, my fists clenched tight. I take a few deep breaths before I turn on my heel and charge at her. She doesn't move out of the way. I pin her against the door, my hands holdin' her wrists over her head. My lips claim hers angrily. I've been fuckin' lonely for the last twenty fuckin' years and she's been right under my fuckin' nose playin' house with my goddamn best friend? I haven't even jerked off once since her death. I bite her lip just to hear her moan for me. I move her wrists into one hand and move my free one between her legs. I didn't notice before but she's naked as can be. And, just like before, she's hot for me. Her lips leave mine though.

"Darling....before you continue...when I say I turned into a baby, that means...I'm how I was when we first met." she blushes.

I smirk. "Then let's fix that."

Just like old times. I've missed her bad. Bein' a single dad was nothin' new but missin' someone that I fuckin' love more than life itself, that was new. I will forever love this goddamn woman, even if she does piss me off. Maybe...that's how true love is meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading my story! I've enjoyed writing it and am sad to end it but I believe it's time! Don't worry though, I have other books planned and will be writing them very soon!


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